Janes POV
"Are you serious?!" Frankies excited voice rang through Mauras house, echoing down the hallway. It was impossible not to smile at his reaction. I simple nodded, letting him lift me off the ground in a hug. "Where's Casey?" He asked. I couldn't blame him; it was a perfectly justified question.
"Afghanistan." I told him truthfully, not feeling any need to elaborate. Maura and I made a few seconds of eye contact, and for the first time in a long time, I couldn't read her face. I had no idea what she was trying to convey to me during those short seconds.
"Congratulations sis." Was all Tommy said, placing a kiss on my cheek, straight onto my dimple. He and I were never good at the whole showing emotion thing, but his fingers lingering on my back even after he'd kissed my cheek was enough for me.
"You better all get ready. You're all in this with me." I said, making everyone laugh. I wasn't kidding. If they thought I was doing this alone they all had another thing coming. "Especially you," I said, directing my attention to Tommy, who looked back at me with wide eyes, "I tag teamed with you more than once on late night feeds with TJ." He gave me a defeated smile, knowing fine well I wouldn't make him do anything.
"Are you going to keep living at your place?" Frankie asked casually, stuffing his face with the amazing food Maura made us all. I shot a glare his way.
"What the hell is wrong with my condo?" I asked defensively. I loved my little condo. It was cozy, it was mine.
"You have a million flights of stairs to climb." He said with a shrug as it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Enjoy carrying a pram up them. No, enjoy having a one year old walking up them." He laughed, shaking his head at the mental image of it all. I groaned.
"Now I have to move?!" I exclaimed, automatically looking toward Maura. She would have a researched opinion about why I didn't have to move. "Do I?" I asked with the most defeated look I could manage, trying to guilt her into saying my apartment was perfect. She gave me an apologetic smile, choosing to say nothing at all. "Great." I sighed.
The rest of the night went on eventful, mostly full of me complaining about all the things I was about to have to do. More than once the conversation had to stop so I could throw up, but apart from that; It was your normal family dinner.
"How excited was Frankie?" Maura said as we carried plates to the dishwasher. The thought bought another smile to my face. "I've never seen him that excited about anything." She giggled. That always was my favourite sound, she had the sweetest laugh. "Can I run something by you.." She said trailing off, not looking up from the dishes she was loading.
"If it has anything to do with me doing more cleaning; no." I joked, nudging her backside with my hip as I walked past her. She had fitted black jeans and a simple v neck shirt on tonight. I never knew why she made such an effort dolling herself up; this was always when I found her the most physically appealing.
"Why don't you move in here?" She said casually, catching me off guard. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips with a sigh, first pushing a lose strand of hair away from her eyes. I stared at her, my eyes certainly full of question. "What?" She asked with a shrug. "There's no stairs, you'll have help with me here, and your mother is closer too."
"Too close." I joked, smirking at my best friend who just rolled her eyes at me. "Are you serious Maura? We're talking about a living, breathing baby here."
"I'm aware." She said, shrugging at me again. She was so casual about it all. I never would understand this complex woman. I loved it.
"Let me talk to Casey, and I'll let you know." I sighed, mentally flinching at the sound of his name. "You're so great though." I whispered as I pulled her into a close hug, the smell of vanilla and gardenias filling my nose. "You smell so good." I complimented her, closing my eyes and breathing in more of the familiar smell. My eyes snapped open as I realised the hug was going on way longer than it needed to.
I pulled away, clearing my throat as I loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time. She made her way over to me, holding my face in between her hands, pushing my cheeks together so I made a fish face. I raised my eyebrows, which I can only imagine made me look even stupider.
Then, before I knew what was happening, she placed one fast, soft kiss to my lips. She sighed and smiled at me before letting go of my face and walking away. The buzzing of my cell phone in my pocket made me jump.
Skype? – Casey
"Hey Maura?" I called through the house, looking down the hallway in time to see her walk out just in her shirt and underwear. "Um." It caught me off guard. "Can I use your laptop?" I asked her. If I was ever going to do this, I needed her around for it.
"What for?" She asked as she handed me the laptop. Rather than answering her question, I handed her my phone. "I'll give you some privacy-"
"NOPE!" I exclaimed loudly, turning to face her. "Don't make me do this alone." I begged, her eyes softening as she nodded and stood on the other side of the kitchen bench so Casey wouldn't see her. I knew I needed to just do it and stop thinking about it. The more I thought about what I was going to say or do, the more I wanted to close the computer and ignore it for another week. If I kept blowing him off, he'd know something was up.
I heard the incoming call sound, and it echoed in my ears. I shot my eyes up to look at Maura who just nodded toward me encouragingly. "I'm right here" She mouthed at me, pouring herself a coffee.
"Oh god." I breathed as I press the green answer button. I couldn't help but feel for Casey. All he thinks is happening is a Skype conversation with his girlfriend back home.
"Hi baby." His voice came through like an electric shock, making my chest heave inwards slightly.
"Hey." I said quietly, looking up at Maura who just nodded, sipping at her cup of coffee. I was so jealous. What I wouldn't give for a good strong cup of coffee. Or a shot of tequila; I probably needed that more right now. "Hey before you start talking I have to talk to you." I told him, not wanting to drag this out any longer than I needed to.
"Are you okay?" He asked simply, and I could see the concern in his face. I tried to look anywhere but directly at his face. I couldn't handle what was about to come.
"I'm pregnant." I blurted out, Mauras eyes widening at my brave words. May as well keep it up. "And I'm keeping it." His started nodding slowly. "And I'm moving into Mauras so she can help when the baby comes." Maura gave me the thumbs up, and I fought off a smile at her. She was the cutest thing.
"Where do I fit into this? I don't get back for 11 months, Jane." He said, and I couldn't tell if it was pain or anger in his voice. I suppose it was easier to be doing this while he's a thousand miles away. For me, at least.
"If you want to be a part of his or hers life, that would be really lovely. But I'm sort of happy with the idea of having Maura and Ma helping me do this.." I hoped he was catching on to what I was telling him because I did not want to say the words out loud.
"Is Maura there?" He asked me blankly. Her eyes widened and she shook her head no over and over again. I rolled my eyes at her, her chest already starting to get red with hives.
"Hi Casey." She said with her eyes closed, slowly making her way to the front of the computer so he could see her.
"Take care of her." He said simply to her, my heart breaking a little in my chest. I was a shitty person for doing this. "Jane, I don't want to be left out of this completely. I want photos.. Information." He said, and I could hear the hint of begging in his voice.
"Of course. I'll email you and let you when anything happens." I assured him. At the end of the day, him being in the babies life was probably the best thing. And we did this together, he was a part of it as I was. He suddenly hung up, leaving me sitting staring at the Skype home screen. I let out a breath of relief.
"That went surprisingly well…" Maura said, a hint of shock behind her soft voice. I just nodded, having no idea what to say at this point. It had been a hell of a few days. All I wanted was sleep, and lots and lots of it. The thought was interrupted by a sudden onset of morning sickness. I guess this is my life now.
Seven months later
"I hate this!" I complained, dropping the pram I was trying to assemble in my hands to the floor. I had started my maternity leave this week; and as it turns out; putting together baby furniture is a million times harder than it sounds or looks.
"Why don't you just ask Frankie or Tommy to help?" Maura complained, frowning at me as she looked at the mess we'd made in what was destined to be the babies room.
"Because we are strong women, we can do this without them." I said, trying to convince myself just as much as her. I rested my hands on my now huge stomach. "I'm hungry." I sighed, leaving the room and heading for the fridge. I'd moved into Mauras months ago, and was happily converting her to my middle class food. I let her feed me lots of greens at meal times, every other time of the day I was free to feed myself.
"Have you read to her today?" Maura asked, biting into an apple, playing on her phone as she spoke. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Would you stop calling it a her," I had decided to let it be a surprise to everyone but me what the sex of the little nugget was. Maura was convinced it was a girl. I wasn't letting anyone know, it was fun watching everyone struggle with it. "Studies have shown reading to babies invetro helps-"
"I know Maura, you tell me this twice a day." I complained.
"Can I do it?" She asked excitedly, running into the nursery and returning with a picture book. She pointed to the sofa, and I followed without complaint. I lay down and lifted my shirt up, my huge stomach in both our faces. I felt fatter than ever.
She read the book to the baby, every now and again touching my stomach and smiling. I couldn't have asked for a better person to be doing this with.