STUFF 'N THINGS
PG13
Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto...
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DMP's Idea of Fun (PT2)
Previously:
DMP: Welcome…To my haunted house.
hyper: We're…we're in a haunted house??
DMP: Besides, I know most of what's going to happen.
Pein: Most?
hyper: Why a haunted house?
DMP: Because it's close enough to Halloween that I can start writing "scary" stuff
Hidan: Dude…You're like the bat tamer…
DMP: No, I just don't scare them and they don't scare me. -bats detach and start swarming her as she spreads her arms out wide; suddenly looking really gothic- They like me.
Sasori: HOLY CRAP!
hyper: This haunted house is already scary…
Hidan: Kakuzu? He's gone…
Everyone: -looks up to see him dangling from the ceiling, every part of him (except his head) is covered in spider webs and there's a giant spider crawling towards him-
Hidan: -scream-
Kakuzu: HELP!!!
Spider: There's no help for you. -starts sucking his fluids-
hyper: DMP! Are you going to just let him die?! …DMP?
Pein: Where'd she go?
DMP: Behind you. And, yes. He deserves to die.
Sasori: Are you out of your mind?!
hyper: -suddenly screams- GHOSTS!!!!!
Hidan: -from the ground, sees Kakuzu's corpse and screams- What's going to happen to us?
--
Ghost #1: BOO!
Ghost #2: No, like this: YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -floats through hyper who screams-
Ghost #1: Oh, I get it. YAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -floats through Pein who screams and pisses himself-
Konan: I'm not having fun!
Sasori: Come back to the good side, DMP! Get us out of here!
Orochimaru: She belongs to me now…-curls around her and presses his face close to her neck-
DMP: -staring at them with blank expression-
Sasori: Orochimaru…You bastard!
Deidara: Be careful, Sasori no Danna. You don't want him mad – remember last time, yeah!
--
Memory:
Sasori: Orochimaru? Were you touching my puppets again?
Orochimaru: Why are you blaming me? Why is it always me, 'Sori?!
Sasori: Because you're my partner and always around.
Orochimaru: That's not fair! -throws kunai knives at him- Take that!
Sasori: Oh shit. -looks down at not-yet-preserved-bleeding body- You suck ass.
Orochimaru: What're you going to do about it? I'm going to quit the Akatsuki and become better than you all!
Sasori: Be that way. You quit and we're through.
Orochimaru: Fine. I never loved you anyway.
Sasori: -le gaspeth!- BASTARD!
Orochimaru: -sends giant snake to eat the base- HOTWHEELS! BEAT THAT!
--
Sasori: Like I could forget…
Orochimaru: It's time to pay, Akatsuki. And I'm taking DMP to be my oh so loyal servant. And there's nothing you can do about it!
hyper: LET MY SISTER GO, MICHAEL JACKSON WANNABE!
Orochimaru: Who?
hyper: He doesn't know who Michael Jackson is?
Sasori: I don't know who he is.
hyper: Oh, well then that was a waste of breath.
Deidara: Basically.
Orochimaru: Anyway?
Sasori: Right. Why DMP?
Orochimaru: She really is a pretty thing…And she was so willing to come to the darkside…
hyper: Did you have cookies?
Orochimaru: Chocolate chip cookies.
Sasori: That's cheating!
Orochimaru: That was only part of her temptation. She wanted so badly to be dark.
Sasori: That's not true…
Orochimaru: Oh it was. And you were part of her reason to leave the good side!
Sasori: What?!
TO BE CONTINUED…