Catching Up

Wisteria was physically better the next day, although the lack of physical pain meant the mental pain had the upper hand. Zevran got rid of every bottle of alcohol he owned, he didn't trust Wisteria not to plunge back into inebriation at the first possible chance.

"All right, tell me." Zevran prodded. They were eating lunch on that second day.

Wisteria sighed, "Wouldn't it be easier if I just open a vein and bleed while you squeeze a lemon on it?"

Zevran looked unimpressed with her theatrics.

"Fine!" She told the tale of Varel, even how the recruits had arranged that love affair. Zevran listened carefully.

"Very clever of your Dalish elf. I'll have to make note of this, I could use a deception like this myself. So what happened to your Seneschal?"

"I'm getting to that," she replied testily.

She told him of the attempted assassination attempt and informed him of the Crows used in that attempt.

Zevran looked surprised. "Not my cell. Do you want me to ask around? I'm surprised any Crows would accept a job involving Grey Wardens, it always seems to end poorly. I speak from experience."

"No, it doesn't matter. They're all dead, and so are the conspirators."

Then she told him of the attack on the city of Amaranthine and how she had found it lost when she arrived with her Wardens and her decision to burn it and the darkspawn army inside.

"Like cutting off a gangrenous limb. Horrifying but necessary," Zevran said.

"I thought so at the time. But since then I've wondered if perhaps I could have saved the city and the few people remaining. There have been nothing but recriminations leveled at me for that decision. The vassals didn't like me before, for killing Howe, now they absolutely hate me. They assume my motivation for burning the city was political." Wisteria shook her head. "Political? That doesn't even make sense. What could I gain from burning the city?" She shrugged.

"I returned to Vigil's Keep with my forces and we defended it. It held up really well against the attack. But there were casualties, of course."

Zevran nodded, "And Varel was one, I take it?"

Wisteria nodded. "I could have saved him, Zev. I saw him at the front gate, alone, when a plate armored ogre grabbed him. I froze. I couldn't get my legs to move. When I finally did it was too late."

Zevran swore in Antivan. "A plate armored ogre? What kind of sick monster puts plate armor on an ogre? How would you even kill something like that?"

Wisteria shook her head, her eyes began filling with tears. Zevran sidled up close and hugged her. "Shush now. You can't take responsibility for that. You can't control all the outcomes, every time."

He could feel Wisteria shake her head, "No, I do blame myself. Everyone in Amaranthine does too. I'm a villain there now. They don't trust the Grey Wardens and they certainly don't trust me. I can't go back, I think they would revolt. To them, I burned Amaranthine and saved the Keep because my lover was at the Keep. And burning the city has something to do with some Orlesian plot, according to some of the vassals. That whole Hero of Ferelden thing is a big joke in Amarathine."

Zevran swore softly, "Your country has seen you defeat the darkspawn twice now and all they do is whine about your methods." Zevran pondered for a moment. "Isn't that a tradition among your Grey Wardens? They do what has to be done to deal with the darkspawn? From conscripting blood mages and murderers off the gallows or the sons and daughters of nobility, they do whatever it takes. Remember that Orlesian fellow we found in Howe's prison?"

"Riordin, yes, of course".

"Remember what he said before Alistair took off Loghain's head? Something about how Grey Wardens did whatever it takes to stop the darkspawn, even if it meant enlisting the aid of an enemy. Isn't that why you accepted my help and Morrigan's help?"

Wisteria nodded.

"That was something your Alistair never really understood. He thought justice was more important than defeating the darkspawn. Riordin, your Grey Warden brother, reminded me of an Antivan Crow. When your enemies are useful, you use them. Deal with them later, if you really need to."

Wisteria pondered, looking intently at Zevran. His words eased the pain a little. Wasn't he right? I did what Grey Wardens do, they made hard decisions. Ultimately, if I get the right results, I made the right choices. Was it really that simple?

"Thank you, Zevran. I don't know how I could have forgotten that. Maybe its because we have so few Grey Wardens in Ferelden and I've never really known any from elsewhere, so I don't know their traditions and history." The pain on her face eased some. "This will make it easier to face them."

"But losing Varel, that I can't live with so easily", Wisteria sighed heavily and looked away.

"Occupational hazard, my dear. I know this sounds hard-hearted but your business is dangerous, just like mine. Did you learn nothing from me in the time we were together? Hmmmm?" He tilted her head up to get her to look him in the eyes again.

"Remember when he was shot during the attempt on your life, you said you realized you couldn't keep him safe? You were right. You have two choices, no three." He ticked them off on his fingers, "One, don't fall in love. Two, get used to it. Or three, find someone that you don't need to protect."

Since he already had his hand on her face, he drew her closer and kissed her softly. She didn't pull away. Memories of her came flooding back. He had missed her. There was a lot of passion bottled up in him for her, but it was too soon. She needed time.

Wisteria looked confused and flustered after the kiss. Zevran took that as a good sign.

"So Zev, how did you come into all this?" She gestured to his very nice home. "In fact, how did you manage to get back into the Crows?"

"Ah, time for the long story, I see. Well, the story of your adventures spread like wild fire and I rode the wave. I was a very popular dinner guest and all the nobility and wealthy suddenly wanted to know me. As you remember, many of those people own Crow cells. No Crow was ever feted so much as I was. Everyone wanted to hear about our adventures, the archdemon, and all." Zevran coughed. "I hope you don't mind, but I embellished a little upon our relationship."

Wisteria laughed, "I'd guess that was a given!"

"Yes, well, anyway I became well acquainted with a person who had ambitions to take over another Crow cell and we worked together and voila! We did it. I run the day-to-day operations, while my patron deals with the nobility, making strategic partnerships and so on. But we have a strict policy of never accepting contacts on Grey Wardens, I assure you. Also, I changed our recruitment policy. We don't buy children and train them to be Crows. Only those who want to join us do. And you know, we never have any issues recruiting talented people. And why would we? In Antiva being a Crow is something to be proud of. I think this may catch on with the other Cells."

"Zevran, that's wonderful! I have often thought the secrecy and mystery the Grey Wardens shroud themselves in is self-defeating. Maybe I will bring that up when I meet with them. It certainly made our job in Ferelden vastly more difficult."

"Speaking of which when do you have to meet with them?" Zevran asked.

"I should probably go tomorrow. If I don't show up soon they might send someone out looking for me." Wisteria looked embarrassed. "I am glad they didn't find me in that inn, drunk out of my skull." Wisteria kissed him softly on the check. "Thank you for finding me and helping me. I owe you."

Zevran looked hopeful, "I shall look forward to collecting that debt", he leered at her playfully.

Wisteria shook her head and laughed, "You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

She stood up. "I'd better go and pack, so I'm ready to see my Grey Warden friends tomorrow."

"Pack?" Zevran looked alarmed. "You don't mean to stay there do you?"

"Well yes, I suspect this might take several days."

"Hmmm... you don't realize how dangerous Antiva can be, especially for someone as well known as you. You should stay here so I can make sure you're safe."

"Zevran, are you suggesting I wouldn't be safe in a well fortified compound full of Grey Wardens?", Wisteria put her hands on her hips and looked challengingly at Zevran.

"Well, I suppose that's a good point. But send word when your meetings are done and I'll move you back here."

"If they'll let me," she promised.

"Let you? What do you mean? How could they not let you?"

She shook her head, "I don't know what they're going to say or do with me. Maybe they'll make me stay with them and train recruits. I don't know. I'm fairly certain they won't be sending me back to Amaranthine. For all I know, they might send me to Weisshaupt. Or maybe there's a Grey Warden prison and they're going to lock me up. You know, I just don't know. Sad to say but even after nearly four years of being a Grey Warden, I still don't really know how they operate."

Zevran's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to arrange to have my Crows watching for a signal from you. If you don't signal everyday by a certain time, we're going to come get you out of there."

Wisteria looked alarmed. She could just imagine a fracas between the Grey Wardens and the Crows. That would be bloody. "No, I don't think that's wise. I'll be fine, Zev. Really, I'll send word when I'm ready to leave. Don't worry."

Zevran's lips narrowed into a stubborn look. But he dropped the subject. "We have the rest of the day. What would you like to do?"

Wisteria thought for a moment. Back at Amaranthine she had been working on some unarmed fighting techniques and she really didn't have anyone to train with. Zevran would be perfect. A smile bloomed, "Do you have any training facilities?"

"Of course."

"Well, then, I want to show you something I've been working on."