He smashed his fist against the table sending glass shattering everywhere. Dammit I'm such an idiot, Dean thought to himself. He inspected his fist and saw that it was bleeding; he made his way to the bathroom rinsing it under the sink and watching as the blood travelled down the plughole. He needed to apologise to him, he knew why he called him a faggot. It was because he was scared; the kiss was like nothing he had ever experienced before, he enjoyed it, the feel of Cas' lips on his, like a fire he didn't know was there had been lit leaving him full of lust and wanting more. He had to apologise, somehow.

"Ugh", Cas grimaced as he drank his now cold coffee.

"Nice coffee", Anna laughed.

"Cold", Cas went back to reading 'Hamlet' which he was studying in class.

"Cas, what's up, you know me I can tell when something's bothering you. C'mon you can tell me, I am your best mate after all", Anna turned to Cas a serious look on her face. Dammit how did she know, she always knows.

He sighed, "Well, you know when you like someone and well you think they like you back but they don't, and then…."

"Then what"?

"They lead you on and invite you to their dorm, what else was I supposed to think"?

"What happened Cas"?

"I kissed them and it's not what they wanted".

Anna laughed and looked relieved, "Cas I'm sure she wasn't offended, it's only a kiss and well hey you're not that bad, I would know".

"Oh god, don't remind me, I can't believe we dated it seems so- wrong now. You're like a sister to me".

"Don't change the subject, there was more wasn't there Cas, you wouldn't get worked up this much over something like a kiss. What aren't you telling me"?

Could he tell her, he hadn't told anyone that he was into guys. Only his family knew and that was because they walked in on him and Balthazar, they had both decided to leave town and had both been accepted at the same University. His romantic feelings towards Balthazar went as quickly as they came. He has to tell her now, he'd told her this much.

"It wasn't a she".

"Sorry", Anna's expression turned into one of confusion.

"They were a guy, I like guys". Cas looked down, suddenly very interested in what he was reading. He glimpsed up quickly to see Anna staring at him, a look of disgust on her face. He thought she was above all this, wouldn't mind who he liked but now he had lost his best friend. She was probably going to tell everyone and his life here would be ruined and he would have to move again just after he had started to fit in.

"What? Is there something wrong with me liking guys, I didn't think it would bother you," Cas said his voice soaked in disdain.

"Cas, I don't care that you like guys, I care that you never thought to tell me. Never trusted me, I thought we told each other everything,." "So who is it"?

"What"?

"Who's the guy"?

"I just told you that and you want to know who the guy is". Cas laughed.

"Just tell me I have to know now".

"His name's Dean".

"The Dean? Incredibly handsome, on the football team, dated probably every girl here Dean Winchester. You don't want to get involved with him Cas, he's nothing but trouble".

"Don't worry I won't be after he called me a faggot and said he never wanted to see me again". Cas' voice broke.

"Oh Cas. He's obviously not good enough for you, who would want to turn you down?"

"I can't ever see him again, or ever talk to him again".

"I could argue that".

"What?" Anna nodded to a figure walking over to them, his unmistakable bow legs.

"You have to get me out of here, I can't talk to him".

"Hey", Dean looked down at Cas then awkwardly looked away looking embarrassed, an expression Cas never expected to see on his face.

"I'll be off then", Anna winked at Cas and he returned it with the most evil glance he could possibly conjure.

"Look, umm about the other day".

"Just stop ok? Don't make it worse than it already is. You made it clear enough that you don't like me." "God, you made it very clear", Cas mumbled under his breath turning back to his book.

"Please, just hear me out. I don't know why I… called you what I did".

"Really, because neither do I. Wait, maybe it's because you're an a class dick, so please leave me alone".

"For fucks sake I'm trying to apologise here and you're not making it any easier".

"Why should I? You called me a faggot for fucks sake. Do you know how much that hurt me? I opened myself up to you and you did that to me".

"The reason I called you a- faggot", Dean mumbled the word almost ashamed to say it, "Is because I was scared ok?"

"Scared, ok explain".

"I liked the kiss , I like you ok? "