WARNING: THERE WILL BE CURSING IN THIS CHAPTER. THERE WILL ALSO BE SUGAR HIGHS, COMPUTER GAMES, AND SEVERE DESTRUCTION OF THE USELESS, BREAKABLE STUFF PARENTS LEAVE AROUND THE HOUSE FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF PEOPLE ON SUGAR HIGHS BREAKING THEM. THERE WILL ALSO BE A LITTLE PASSAGE FROM INHERITANCE THAT WILL NOT GIVE ANYTHING IMPORTANT AWAY. IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS YOU, DO NOT READ.

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Elvish:

Mellon-nîn-my friend

Rhaich! -Curses!

Ti tállbe Orch-Go kiss an Orc

Disclaimer: I don't own the stuff I don't own! (No, really?)

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

Pippin and sometimes Merry had been saying much the same for about twenty minutes. I will not say what they really, really sounded like they were doing, because the authoress has decided that this fic is rated T and it will stay like that, thank you very much.

"Sigh. You know, it affects the young ones rather a lot."

"And you never join in this…madness?" Aragorn asked me. He had the remarkable ability to keep perfectly calm in the midst of four short people on sugar highs running around like nitwits. I think they were playing a combination of tag and soccer. That is a DWTH in my book, Disaster Waiting To Happen.

"Sometimes, but now I have to be responsible and make sure they don't kill each other," I said, looking up from Inheritance.

"You're doing a very good job being responsible," he said, noticing I was not paying attention to the nitwits in the slightest, because Inheritance is too good.

"I know, right?" I grinned and went back to my book.

A few pages later, I laughed out loud.

"You laugh at books?" Boromir asked me, standing against the wall of the living room.

"If they're funny."

"You remind me of my brother. He laughs at books all the time. Once he cried, that I've seen. Once. Then he got a new lock for his room and made one key that he kept on his person at all times."

I laughed. "Spying on your little brothers is fun." Trist paused from his game of tag-soccer to pretend to whack me upside the head. I pretended to whack him back.

"What's the joke?"

"Okay. So. The hero of this book, he's sparring with an elf girl that he kind of likes…well, not kind of, really likes, and she gives him this disarming girl-you-like smile, and then he suffers a humiliating defeat."

"Failure," Aragorn laughed.

"Arwen can beat you in a sparring match, hypocrite," said Legolas with an odd sort of smile.

"Hypothetically, yes, but that has never actually happened."

"Well. Um." Legolas thought for a couple seconds. "But if it's a hypothetical yes, then it is supposed to happen, so therefore, it might happen. No, it will likely happen."

"Likely doesn't mean will, mellon-nîn," Aragorn replied.

No response.

"Did I just beat an elf in a game of words?" he asked the air.

"I'm older than you," Legolas grinned.

Aragorn sighed. "Now you're stealing insults from a thirteen year old girl."

"Insult theft," I said, not even looking up from Inheritance. "Five yard penalty, second down."

"What?"

Xavier laughed at me. "You do the weirdest things, Li."

"Well, I'm related to you."

Suddenly, a three foot-seven flying object came at my head. "I'M HYPER!" screamed Pippin, landing directly on Inheritance.

"If you hurt my book, I KILL YOU!" I exclaimed.

"I'm hyper. I'm hyper," Pippin obsessively repeated.

"Why did I let you do this?" I sighed. "You know what? White Knight! Show him how to play Sugar, Sugar!"

"As you wish," he said. "On your computer?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Strange as this may sound, our parents admitted they will get less mad if you kill my computer as opposed to the house one."

"Alright. Pippin, over here." I flipped open my computer, typed in my password (i_am_the_coolest_person_ever_123456) and was surprised to find that Jackson, Where's My Paycheck? had disappeared. Magic? Oh well. Who knew?

In case you don't know, Sugar, Sugar is an epic game. It's a simple premise, put the sugar in the cup. It's incredibly addicting.

"So, basically, Pip-Stop drumming your fingers on the computer!"

"I can't stop moving!" he exclaimed.

"Wow, he can't stop moving? Is that really bad?" asked Legolas.

"No, it just means he's never had this much sugar before."

"Oh. Good. He's not going to die of sugar."

"Dying of sugar," Xavier chuckled. "Dying of sugar. You people are weird…"

"I'm not a person, I'm an elf."

"Um…Li, take up this debate while I explain the finer points of Sugar, Sugar."

"Okay."

"I don't feel like debating," Legolas told me.

"Okay, I'm cool with that."

"Alright, so what you do is, you draw the line, then the sugar runs along it-"

Now. When you are a thirteen-year-old girl, you've seen a lot of crazy things. But I've never seen anything quite like what happened then.

Pippin, being high, and because he's a nitwit, or because nonsensical things just happen and who knows why, launched himself at my computer. I guess he wanted to eat the sugar.

Of course, you do not mess with my computer, which has basically my life on it. So I decided to grab Pippin by the back of his shirt collar. Unfortunately, I tend to daydream and doodle all over my notebook in science class, so I kind of forgot that his forward momentum would propel us both forward.

Xavier, thank God, instantly slammed my computer shut and threw it to the other side of the sofa. Pippin sprawled onto the fragile, old wood coffee table, which unfortunately held a lot of tiny roses my mom had found somewhere. He proceeded to crush them.

"Our mom's gonna have a fit about those roses," Xavier joked.

I wasn't so lucky. I shot under the coffee table, slamming my head into the door. I blacked out, thinking Damn, I just blacked out two times today. I think that's a record.

I woke up under the coffee table. Unfortunately, I woke up right as it was about to collapse on my head.

I used my best ninja skills to roll out of its way. Unfortunately, it decided to fall the way I was rolling, with Pippin AND Merry, and Trist, who had kicked their soccer ball onto the table, on top of it.

"Rhaich!" I yelled. "Shoes! Fuzz! Fuzzy shoes!"

Something smacked into my head, and, you guessed it! I blacked out again.

Blacking out twice in fifteen seconds is NOT FUN.

"Ow. Ti tállbe Orch, the three of you." I'm in the habit of cursing in Elvish. Of course, Xavier had gone into my iTouch (that's what she said) and found my list of Elvish curses and what they meant.

"I have a headache worthy of Chuck Norris," I said.

"Who is Chuck Norris?" Boromir asked from somewhere beyond the wreckage of the table.

"Someone. Now, can someone bigger than me please pull me out of here? My arm is stuck under something."

"It's my head," said a hobbit-voice. Blond curls moved, and my arm was free.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and Captain Jack Sparrow (did I mention Xavier's an atheist?), you people broke that to smithereens! Mom's gonna kill you!"

"Screw you."

"I feel screwed."

Suddenly, bits of wood and roses began to move of their own accord and come out from under me. After a couple seconds, the table was fixed.

Gandalf smiled from the corner of the room. "Hobbits tend to break things."

A/N: Short chapter, I know, but my muse is leaving. I'll make up for it in the next chapter. If you want to play Sugar, Sugar: http:/www(dot)coolmath-games(dot)com/0-sugar-sugar/index(dot)html. I do take suggestions for funny stuff, but it might not be in the very next chapter.