Okay so here it is… the final chapter. I really am sorry for the delay, I'm workin on the whole swiftness issue…I said working…therefore…might… not… happen. Meh…as I, the French, and Bandgeek99 say… "C'est la vie!"
I do not own Digimon (gutter in it?)or Leona Lewis' "Better in Time", Vanessa Carlton's "Rinse" and Nelly Furtado's "Try"….as I said before…gutter.
I didn't use "Umbrella" this time…but I will. That's my next fic, SO NO STEALING MY IDEA!! Thank you
Well on with the slightly delayed show!!
She rolled over for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was 10am and she was stuck in bed. Bed rest they called it…more like bed torment. She was bored, depressed, tired, had a bad case of insomnia and most importantly…a broken heart. Life truly was a bitch. It tormented her causing her daydreams to become nightmares, and normal 'nocturnal' dreams were non-existent… probably because she couldn't sleep.
It's been the longest winter without you Going coming thought I heard a knock
I didn't know where to
turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've
been through
Who's
there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I
really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be
ok
She
had been dispatched from hospital two days ago and confined to 'bed
rest' -air quotation marks used in the most sarcastic way as
possible. She had a constant barrage of 'well-wishers' who came
waltzing through her door, asking her if she was okay…how did she
feel…was she keeping to the rules (no leaving bed unless necessary.
E.g. bathroom, and in the case that no-one was there to help…food.)
and as the questions kept coming, the responses became more sarcastic
and more bitchy. "Oh yeah I'm
fine. 'Cos losing the love of your life because you were too blind
to see it, happens to be the easiest thing to go through Yolei. No
Matt, really it doesn't hurt if you sit on my heavily bandaged
foot. I mean the gauze is just for show really. No Joe…I am not
frickin 'okay'! Tai is gone. I can't sleep. I'm confined to
my bed, even though I can't sleep. Everyone keeps patronizing me,
asking stupid questions that they already know the answer to…I just
can't take it anymore!!
Thought
I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals
too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love
you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in
time
Rolling over for the fifty third time, Sora finally gave up on trying to sleep. Throwing back her bed covers, she sat up on the edge of the bed, staring down at her feet. They were still bandaged up, however not so many layers now. They still hurt a bit, but it was a dull tingle now compared with the mind numbing pain that they burned with 4 days ago. 4 days…she had been without him for 4 days. It felt like a lifetime. It wasn't like they were a couple…but she still loved him, with every fibre of her being. And god, was it torment for her…to lie there…insomniatic…with the only thing to occupy her being an Ipod that contained various songs that brought back very painful memories. She stood up, ignoring the dreary thudding pain in the soles of her feet, making her way over to the full length mirror on the back of her door. A gaunt face stared back at her, eyes emotionless. She looked pale and her full lips were washed out and cracked. Some beauty I look now. She smirked sarcastically at her reflection, before glancing back at her bedside table. There, sitting beside her alarm clock was a framed picture. Two children smiled back at her from behind the glass. Their faces seemed to taunt her, laughing at her for being so stupid. One child, was her…only younger, brighter…happier. Her face glowed and a joyous smile lit up her face. The other child had a wild mop of chestnut hair atop his head and a huge grin plastered across his tanned face. Tai
If
I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind
me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
Hurt my feelings but that's the
path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you
didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to
love again
All I know is I'm gonna be ok
She turned away sadly from the picture. She couldn't bear to look at it, it hurt so much. Turning tearfully away from the bedside table, she grabbed a fresh towel from a drawer, along with some underwear. She opened the door of her room and, with one last sad glance at the photo, she exited the room. As she entered the bright living room, she shaded her eyes from the shafts of light that filtered through the window blinds. The rain had stopped. Sighing, she turned to make her way to the bathroom, yet stopped. Her gaze rested upon the mountain of flowers sitting upon the coffee table in the centre of the room. Bouquets and bunches filled the table, odd leaves littered the table, whilst stray petals were strewn around the area. All different genus and colour of flower covered the table; roses, lilies, pansies, daisies, tulips and the occasional orchid. She smiled sadly at the beautiful display. Mimi had said that people had stopped by with bunches of flowers for her, and she certainly wasn't kidding. Sora bent down to look at them, reading the little messages and get well soon cards pinned to them. Her wandering gaze met with the petals of a huge bouquet of deep red roses. She sniffed them, reaching out and stroking the velvet like petals. They were fresh. Possibly only brought here yesterday. Not today though, none had been delivered today. She picked up the bouquet, looking for the greetings card on it. Whoever bought this obviously had plenty of cash to spare, roses (especially ones this good quality) are expensive. She eventually reached the small rectangular card, nestled between the jungles of crimson petals. Tears reached her eyes as she read the words written in neat elegant letters:
To Sora,
I hope the scars on your heart heal as fast as those on your feet. What imbecile would deny an angel such as you? For him to leave you like that, he deserves no sympathy, no ounce of love from your heart. I hope you recover from this little "incident", as soon as possible.
No name was written upon the card, no distinguishable writing, marks symbols…just a plain white rectangle of card, with a message written in fancy lettering…the kind florists use to write greetings. Whoever it was got the florist to write it. The same applied to another bunch of flowers, this bunch looked a bit older, as if it had been there a little longer than the roses. A bunch of slightly withered, but still rather beautiful, pure white tulips. The same plain white card, same handwriting, same structure of writing, same missing name:
My dearest Sora,
My condolences, He was an idiot to break your heart, forget him. It'll all get better in time.
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it
heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really
love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get
better in time
Thought
I couldn't live without you
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So
I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how
hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
It's gonna hurt when it heals
too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love
you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in
time
She sadly placed the flowers back on the coffee table, before turning in the direction of the bathroom. Wiping the tears away, she closed the bathroom door behind her, before leaning against it. She stood like that for a couple of seconds, to regain her composure. Pushing herself away from the door she removed her clothes, then started removing the bandages on her feet. Running the pad of her thumbs along the tender scabs on her soles, she winced. He leaves scars on my soles. He leaves scars on my soul. The irony. She stepped into the shower, turning on the water.
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye She must rinse this all away How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could
see She
must rinse this all away And if
she runs away she fears she won't be followed She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye She must rinse him
She would suffer, she
would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the stars that
shine so bright
For answers to the questions that will haunt her
tonight
She can't hold him
this way
She must rinse this all away
She can't love him this
way
She needs to be held in his arms to be free
But everything
happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows
the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man
She can't hold anybody this way
She
must rinse this all away
She can't love him this way
What could be the
worse than leaving something behind
And as the depth of oceans
slowly become shallow
It's loneliness she finds...
If only he
was mine
She would
suffer, she would fight, and compromise
She's been wishin' on the
stars that shine so bright
For answers to the questions that will
haunt her tonight
She must rinse him
She
can't rinse him
She can't rinse him
She can't, she won't, she
must rinse him
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him
She
must rinse this all away
She can't hold him this way
She must
rinse this all away
She can't love him this way
Letting the hot water wash over her, it felt like everything was being rinsed away. All the pain, all the heartache…washed away. Like a wave of relief, crashing down on her.
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I
grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm
not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds
the more I sow
Stepping out the shower, Sora wrapped a large fluffy towel around herself. It felt so warm, so soft…like him. No Sora…you mustn't think like that. Try to forget. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she dried herself off, before slipping on her underwear, a pair of French knickers and a bra. She cursed, as she realised she had brought no other clothes through with her, only underwear. She had also forgotten clean bandages for her feet, however she only realised this, when she noticed that her wounds had reopened slightly in the shower, and a small puddle of scarlet had accumulated upon the black and white bathroom tiles. Sighing at her own absentmindedness, she put the damp towel in the clothes hamper, mopped up the blood with a tissue. As she opened the bathroom door, wearing only her underwear, she walked back through into the living room. She was met by the fragrant smell of many different flowers wafting through the air. A few petals floated up into the air in the draft that she had created with the door. They danced in the sudden breeze; their brilliant colours shimmered and blazed. And through this haze, she saw it…or rather…him.
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And
all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more
from me
And all I can do is try
She gasped, her eyes widening whilst her heart rate increased.
"T..T..Tai?"
He was here? But…how? He was meant to be in New York. Why had he come back? All these questions swirled within Sora's already confused and hazy mind. She really didn't understand. Her world was spinning dangerously, and she was lost within it all. Everything suddenly became very blurry, as her eyes rolled back in their sockets. Tai watched in horror as the whites of Sora's eyes came into view, her body went limp as she started to plummet to the floor.
"Sora!!" He rushed to the red head's side, picking her off the floor and cradling her in his arms. She had blacked out. She seemed okay though. Her pulse was fine, and she had no injuries, except for her feet. Tai noticed the blood stained carpet where she had been standing. Cursing, he lifted her up off the floor.
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real
people are really not real at all
The more I learn, the more I
learn
The more I cry, the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the
way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Sora awoke to a tickling sensation on her feet. She sat up slightly, only to find herself lying on her couch, with a zip-up hoodie wrapped around her. She was only wearing underwear. Shit. She peered at the other end of the couch, where her feet were. She gulped at what she saw. The tickling sensation was none other than Tai. He was sitting on the couch, with her feet propped up on his knees, as he bandaged them delicately. Tai. What was he doing here?
"Tai?" she asked tentatively.
"Hmm? Oh hey you're awake." He spoke in a gentle whisper that made Sora's heart flutter. "You blacked out and your wounds must have reopened so…" he broke off blushing brightly, staring hard at his bandaging, hoping that if he concentrated hard enough, the tension might ease.
"…Thank you…but…" Sora spoke in barely a whisper, but he heard it. He looked at her, as she played with the sleeves of his hoodie, that he had wrapped around her, not daring to look him in the eye.
"…but, why are you back? Why did you return? I thought you wanted to go to New York? It was your opportunity, your chance to get out of here start again…" tears cascaded down her face, as she trailed off.
"I know. But there was something…something I couldn't bear to leave." He lifted her feet off his lap carefully and rose to his feet, looking her dead in the eye.
Then I see you standing there
wanting more from me
And
all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll
ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
"Oh no Tai…please Tai. You didn't come back…because of me?" Sora shook her head frantically at him. sure she was heartbroken and a bit mad at him, but the fact that he had turned down the chance of a lifetime, for her? That felt worse.
"Tai…I'm not worth that. It's only a few scars. Scars heal. I'm…I'm not worth it Tai. I'm worthless." She stood up, pain searing through her feet as she did so. She tried to run past him, tears flowing freely, only to be pulled back. The words "I'm not worth it Tai. I'm worthless." Echoed throughout Tai's head.
"NO YOU ARE NOT! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!" he bellowed at the top of his voice. How could she say that about herself? To him…she was perfect. She stopped sobbing, shocked by Tai's outburst.
"You're not worthless…" his voice had softened "you'll never be worthless to me. God Sora, it's me who's worthless, especially after what I said to you at the airport. I'm an idiot Sora. I feel like shit, because I…I broke your heart. You were hurt, both physically and emotionally, all because of…me. I'm so sorry Sora."
"It's not your fault Tai. I should have told you how I felt all those years ago, but I was so blind. I didn't realise what I might lose. But what you must understand is that I've always loved you. And for so long, I waited. I waited for you to tell me how you felt; I waited for you to make the first move." Her voice was strangled and wracked with sobs "I was stupid. I was like some stupid lovesick puppy, waiting around for you to say 'Sora, I love you.' But that day never came. So…I gave in. I had waited so long, and I feel like such an idiot for giving up, but it's hard Tai. Everyone was moving on, finding the one for them, making a move…and I was just…standing still. So I told myself to take a chance…and that chance happened to be Matt. But when you asked me out, I felt like a fool to throw it all away…but I also felt…as If you deserved better. I thought…if I moved on…so would you. But instead I broke your heart, and made a fool of myself. God Tai I'm sorry. I've always loved you, I never stopped. I'm not worth the time." Sora turned her head away, tears staining her face. He sighed.
All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go
back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to
be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And
that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are,
we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
Lifting her chin with his finger, he looked deep into her eyes.
"You're always worth the time. I also never stopped loving you. But what you must understand is that I made some mistakes too. I should have told you years ago how I felt…but…I didn't have the courage. Yeah, I know. I'm meant to be the chosen of Courage, and yet I can't tell a girl 3 simple words…however, that is in the past. History, that we should always keep in mind…" he moved his face closer to hers, their noses now touching "but history nonetheless. And history is just that. The past, it cannot be changed, and must not be dwelt upon." He smirked at his own words, never had he felt more philosophical.
"Truer words were never spoken Taichi Kamiya." Sora smiled. It was the most beautiful thing to Tai, her smile.
"I guess I better say those 3 words now before anymore trouble starts. Sora I love you. Full heartedly and passionately."
"And I love you Tai, with all my heart, the purest form it takes." She smiled at him before turning away slightly, a deep blush taking over. He gently turned her face back round, before capturing her lips in a fierce, passionate kiss…a kiss born of pure love that had waited a long time. Pure love that would last even longer. Immensely longer.
Well there we go kids, done! Eventually. Sorry it took so long, but now I'm off for a kip.
Au Revoir mon petit fleurs !! x x x