Title: Memory's Skyscraper: August - Tape III (August 24, final/August 27, interrupted)
Characters/Pairing: Roxas/Riku, Riku-Sora, past Axel/Roxas
Rating: M
Summary: "Evidence of the various fights and encounters between Number XIII and the intruder Riku in the area around Memory's Skyscraper, continuously taped, from first contact to the departure for TwilightTown." – archivist's notes
A/N: Many thanks to my beta, wayya. Part of the Awakenings verse. Can be read as a standalone, but it is recommended you read Said the Spider to the Fly first, or at least be aware that it exists.
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Memory's Skyscraper: August
Tape III (August 24, final/August 27, interrupted)
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The cold of the stairs to the skyscraper, metal digging sharply into his back, and the warmth of Roxas pressed close against him, eyes focused intently on Riku's face, combine with each other in Riku in a way that takes him less time to appreciate and more time to understand than he'd thought those two sensations would. They'd been fighting, and Roxas'd had Riku pinned again, but it'd only taken a few seconds for the both of them to reach for each other, like a reflex neither of them knew they had until just then. Now, Roxas is kissing him like the building's going to fall over if he doesn't push so closely and help Riku hold it up.
A scratching sound from somewhere behind Roxas tells Riku that some of the Heartless have appeared again, but Roxas only detaches for a moment to materialize Oblivion in his hand and swing back roughly at a few pairs of yellow eyes. There're several puffs of black smoke, and then the blond dismisses his weapon, turning back to Riku once more with his teeth on Riku's collarbone. It's only a few moments more before Roxas has his thigh between Riku's legs and Riku's breath loud in the relative silence, but that silence is relatively short, and the rain starts to fall again with staticky sounds on the metal of the buildings. With a noise that would almost be a growl in a boy not quite so short, Roxas jerks Riku by the arm up the stairs and through the entrance of the skyscraper, shoving the door shut behind them with his shoulder.
Almost immediately after they get inside, Roxas shoves him against the wall of the cubicle, and Riku pulls Roxas closer to him when the blond puts his tongue back in Riku's mouth. They'd tried doing things more slowly last time, but it's more comfortable for both of them like this. Roxas knows what he's doing and is good at pushing in just the right places, and Riku's good at being a fast learner and pretending he knows everything already. Though Riku obligatorily tries to get Roxas to be the one against the cubicle wall for a little bit, that doesn't last long, either, and Roxas just flips them back the other way with a flush, another low noise in his throat, and a hand against parts of Riku that speed up his breathing to an almost embarrassing degree.
Riku doesn't know why it's suddenly become so difficult for them to keep their hands off of each other. The fight-outside-sex-inside rule's been getting fuzzy around the edges and the division between the violence and the inexplicable longing has become too blurred to define clearly. Riku knows by now that life and people can't get put into neat either/or categories, but knowing it doesn't make it any easier to figure out the question of why.
There's a tug on Riku's coat, so he lets Roxas lead him around the corner to where they were the night before. It's less than a minute before the tugging becomes specifically tugging off. One of Riku's socks sits lonely in a far corner, but neither of them even notices that it's there. With another good shove or two – and Roxasreally likes pinning Riku against things, doesn't he? – Riku's sitting slouched against the wall with Roxas straddling his lap, the other boy grinding his hips and biting Riku's lip for him, one hand tangled in Riku's hair and the other fingerprinting bruises and little crescent-shaped marks across Riku's skin.
"You'd…" here, Roxas pauses for a slightly gasped breath, "…better have been paying attention last time." And Riku's about to protest that comment, but Roxas just grinds again before pausing briefly to put a bottle into Riku's hand rather forcefully and affixing his mouth to the spot behind Riku's earlobe, so of course Riku completely loses his train of thought. He uncorks the bottle to get the Potion on his fingers and hopes to some vague higher power that he's getting it right, but Roxas doesn't make any complaints; the blond just presses himself closer to Riku with a softly moaned affirmation. Moving with Riku's fingers, he presses his mouth against Riku's again, arches with what could almost be a whine when Riku finds the right places before promptly going back down once more.
It's near-indescribable, how utterly breathtaking Roxas is right now, hair sticking to his face, brows together and skin flushed, mouth and hands busy, hips constantly in motion around Riku's fingers. And Riku's trying to make sure he's doing things the right way, but his senses are filled so much by things that are Roxas and the knowledge that Riku's the one causing Roxas to move like that, to look that way, that it's starting to short-circuit his brain. Since thinking doesn't seem to be working at the moment, what ends up happening is that Riku just tries to move his fingers in whatever way makes Roxas the loudest.
"Okay, that's…aah…that should be enough," Roxas says after a while. Riku only interprets it as language because Roxas is tugging for him to move his hand out of the way; he's so out of it from all the other things Roxas has been doing and trying not to mess it all up that it's almost a surprise to hear that he's done so soon. And Roxas notices it but doesn't say anything, just waits for Riku to finish moving his fingers away. The blond lifts his hips up, lets Riku arrange himself, sinks back down with a sigh as his lips part, his lashes flutter, and his hand tightens its grip in Riku's hair.
Roxas sets the pace to oh god, keeps moving with his knees pressing in towards Riku from both sides, and Riku just keeps up as best he can. But it's not just keeping up, it's that Riku feels like the blond Nobody is almost trying to show him how to keep up, telling him when it's necessary but expecting Riku to figure it out himself most of the time. It'd be a little embarrassing if he stopped to think about it, but right now, Riku just tries to go with it because Roxas seems to have his patience still, for the time being. The way Roxas puts his tongue back in Riku's mouth like it's always been there, the way his fingers scratch foreign patterns on Riku's arms, the way he just keeps getting louder because they're the only ones here in the rain-neon-moonlight-drenched City, let alone building… it makes Riku think that maybe there's something actually there. Maybe it won't matter what's going on outside and who's fighting who, maybe they can actually do something that'll work. Or maybe they can't once this is over, but right now, right at this moment, maybe they can, and Riku believes it and maybe Roxas believes it, too.
And if Riku actually remembers later what he's thinking now, if he doesn't talk himself out of it later, he can convince Roxas and then it won't just be here and now that things could start to be okay, and everything with Sora and Roxas will work itself out somehow, and everything will be okay. Maybe they actually make things okay. And Roxas pushes down up downupdown, says something incoherent in response to Riku's equally incoherent words he only notices he's let out of his mouth after, but he thinks in that moment, Roxas understands.
But it's over too soon. It's always over too soon. Riku doesn't want to think about what happens when too soon starts to mean not forever. There's a slow, lingering kiss, and Riku thinks that it might be the last one. Something about that hurts, but he doesn't think there's anything he can do about it.
"Next time is the last time," Roxas says, Riku's arms wrapped around him.
"Yeah," Riku agrees. This delay, this… he doesn't know what to call it – Riku can barely put Roxas into words anymore, let alone categories – can't go on any longer. Sora's waiting to be woken up. Riku wonders if repeating Sora's name endlessly in his head will make him remember more about the brunet boy sleeping behind glass, but all that seems to do is pull Roxas away from him. But Sora is still asleep and needs Riku to do this in order to wake up, so there's going to be another fight.
"You're going to lose," Roxas murmurs, looking down, his fingers threading absently through Riku's hair. Riku knows what he might have to do in order to win.
"No," he responds, sadly, "I'm not." Roxas's hand curls at the base of his neck. The rest of the world is outside this building, but Riku doesn't want to go there just yet.
And later, outside once more, they fight for the last time.
"Quit for real or quit messing around," Roxas snaps, irritated, when they've fallen into their old routine of violence and the blond is starting to push Riku back with his Keyblades once again. Riku's already got a few cuts on his arm from the fact that he's too tired to keep his Dark Shield up for more than a few seconds each time, and his knee is aching from the luckily-glancing blow it received a few minutes earlier. So Roxas is getting impatient about ending this last fight. Riku wonders what Roxas is planning to do if he wins. Just kill him outright, bring him to the Organization, leave him for the Heartless? Riku laughs at the snapped comment, but hopes that it's the first option.
"Come on, Sora, giving up already?" Riku asks, and pretends that he's teasing with an old, familiar joke. Somewhere, Roxas should know those words; even if neither of them can really remember Sora, Riku himself can't forget the way he felt then, not when it's been carved as deeply as it has been into his memory. "I guess that'swhat's pathetic." He can see Roxas's eyes flash, but if this is the last fight, Riku isn't going to mess around or hold anything back; he's going to put everything he's got into this, before… everything else.
"You're the one who's losing right now," The blond retorts, then stops abruptly and puts a hand to his mouth like he didn't think it was possible for him to respond that way. Something about this all this feels hauntingly, achingly familiar – and there's also something he feels that might be awe, as well – but Riku can't quite place it.
"You really are his Nobody, aren't you?" So Riku really can't afford to lose. He has to –
"Shut up about him!" Roxas shouts, hair-trigger furious again, a Keyblade slamming roughly into Riku and sending him back a good ten feet with the wind knocked out of him. "I'm myself! I'm me!" Riku clutches onto his ribs as his knee buckles, temporarily ceasing to hold him up properly. He has to – "And you're not going to beat me, no matter how many times you try!" There aren't any other options because Riku is going to lose this fight if he doesn't do it, and no matter what else happens, he can't lose, so he has to –
"I guess… I don't have any choice but to do it, then," Riku says with a self-deprecating laugh, mostly to himself. He's half-crouched right now and still trying to catch his breath, probably due to more than just the physical exertion.
"…Do what?" Looking up at his opponent, the blond seems cautious, confused but alert. With a wince at the sharp pain that shoots up from his knee and through his ribs, Riku stands back up again.
"The power sitting in my heart," he responds, ignoring the pain – and it occurs to Riku that there might be something very wrong with his knee that'll take at least a Hi-Potion to fix, more likely an Elixir just to make sure it doesn't heal wrong and necessitate later rebreaking – and the small, smiling voice that's growing increasingly pleased by this turn of events, and begins pulling and dragging his legs to keep walking forward towards Roxas, "the darkness suppressed by my heart." Roxas stays focused on Riku, but doesn't move to attack again. "Even if I have to stay like that forever…" If I do this, then…
"What are you talking about?" Roxas half asks, half demands. Riku takes his blindfold off. For a short space of time, Roxas's eyes are like two brilliant beacons, gleaming all the brighter now that there's no longer that strip of black fabric obscuring Riku's eyes. There's a tiny, childish part of Riku that he blocks out, that can't stand that this is all they're going to get, maybe all they deserve to get, but he's mostly just sad that they weren't able to make it last any longer.
"Goodbye," Riku says, smiling for a fraction of a second. I'm sorry, he wants to say, but the words get stuck in his throat. Something flits across Roxas's face in that instant, but then it's gone again, and Riku doesn't know what it was. He doesn't even know which boy he's talking to, really. Maybe it's both of them. He just knows that neither one of them is ever going to see him again, if Riku can help it. Giving in again… he doesn't think he could stand the looks on anyone's faces if they knew what he'd done.
And then, with a yell, the change begins. Distantly, Riku hears the metal sounds of Roxas's Keyblades sliding past one another. Does Roxas even know what's happening? Does he just not care? Riku's feet aren't even touching the ground anymore, even though they're not his feet – and the mere thought of what he has just become makes Riku want to throw up, but he'll have to wait until this is done, first – and he sees Roxas brace for an attack, but the fight is already over.
He warps forward suddenly to the space right in front of Roxas, the Guardian at his back grabbing the blond boy by the arms and lifting him into the air, squeezing until the Keyblades drop and vanish. Roxas struggles, but soon falls unconscious, and the Guardian releases him. Roxas falls to the ground. I didn't want to, at first, but…
In a voice both foreign and far too familiar, "I've accepted it." Riku's won. It still feels like a betrayal.
Riku pulls the hood over his – no, not mine; not, he feels a little sick still – face, just in time for DiZ to appear, making a few degrading remarks about Roxas and Nobodies in general. DiZ is the one, he thinks, that doesn't understand things. Bending down to lift the unconscious boy into his arms, deliberately restraining himself from brushing the hair away from Roxas's face, Riku follows DiZ back to Twilight Town.
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There's a knock on the door.
"What is it?" "…Oh, working on that still?" "Yes. Research." "Of course." "The situation with…?" "No progress, unfortunately." "I see. The meeting is in a few hours, is it not?" "Yes." "Anything else?" "No." "Thank you, Saïx. Now, if you'll excuse me…" "…Yes, sir. Until the meeting, then?" "Until the meeting."
The door closes again.