A/N

MS: Hey everyone! *smiles*

PT: So, we're here with another instalment for ya.

MC: *nods* Yup, Alice is back for another chapter.

PT: To all our wonderful reviewers and anyone who put us on alert, you bring big smiles to our faces, so thank you!

MC: There are a few songs that go well with the chapter, so go have a listen. Hope you enjoy and see you at the bottom.

DISCLAIMER: We don't own any of the recognisable characters, they belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. However, you know those excitable little plot bunnies that tend to run around your head, yeah well, we do own them.

Songs to listen to;

Knock Knock – Lenka (Alice and Emmett)

Rain – Mika (Metaphor for Alice's feelings)

APOV

"Miss Brandon?" My teacher snapped at me, bringing me out of my sullen daydream. I looked up to see Mr. Banner standing next me, not looking very impressed. "Is Mitosis really that uninteresting to you?" He asked as he tapped his fingers on my desk impatiently.

"Erm...no, sorry, Mr Banner. Can I be excused please, I don't feel well?" He sighed but then waved his hand as he walked off. I gathered my things and got outta there before he found another reason to be pissed at me; just as he'd done many times over the past few months. I ignored the look of another teacher in the hall as I ran straight past her to my locker, wrenching it open only to wish I hadn't bothered.

Emmett's eyes smiled up at me from the picture of us both I had on the door. I sighed, slamming the locker shut, wondering why I'd even bothered going to get my coat, it's not as it rained often or was cold; it was Florida for God's sake. I briskly walked out of the building and took a detour into the woods, deciding that I needed to clear my head and then come back for my car before I was ready to go home.

I stuffed my coat into my bag and took my I-pod from my pocket, hoping I could drown my solemn thoughts with music. But, as I turned it on and set it to shuffle I immediately turned it back off again and threw it in my bag as one of Emmett's favourite song started playing. It seemed as if every little thing related in some way, and it was truly getting to me.

During the time leading up to Emmett leaving, I'd always imagined that the first week or so would be the hardest. Silly, of me really considering he'd been away for a week or two before whilst he was doing his training. But this was different. Completely different. While he was training I knew that the chances of him getting seriously injured were low, or at least that's how I thought of it. But, this time, no matter how many times I tried to fool my mind into thinking that's what he was doing this time round as well; going out with all the guys at the weekends, making new friends and probably getting on the officers' nerves with his sense of humour. But, no, this time it was real. He was out there doing and witnessing things I couldn't even fathom thinking about, it made me shiver whenever I even thought of it.

I didn't want to have to think of things like that. I didn't want to think of what he was seeing, feeling, least of all doing, I didn't want any of it. I just wanted to have my Brother-Bear wrap me up in his arms and hold me tight, so that I could just feel that he was real and that he okay, unharmed and safe with me. I sighed as I sat under an oak tree and finally let the over-due tears fall.

It was times like these that I just wanted to curl in on myself and shut the whole world and it's going-ons out. I'd felt as if I wanted to protect myself from my own life. But, then, I'd think of Emmett, how I'd promised to stay strong to look after myself, to keep living my life. He told me that would be what he would use as a life-line while he was away; what he would cling to; knowing that he'd always have me to come home to, that I'd be waiting for him. That was the one thing, I could always give him, I'd be waited, but I could no longer guarantee even to myself that I'd be able to stay strong and bottle up my feelings as I'd been trying so desperately to do unsuccessfully for the past week or so.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't like this every day. It was just 'one of those days'; a day when all my emotions seemed to flood in at once and every little thing triggered a certain memory or thought. At least, I'd learnt that my life was still going on; I still had friends that wanted to spend time with me, I still had my job that kept my mind busy and I still had my school work to focus on.

"Now remember, Ali, just 'cause your big bro won't be here doesn't mean you can flunk school, I want to still see all those A's and B's when I get back, or I'll just have to kick your ass." Emmett had said, tapping me on the nose and then hugging me to him for a moment before he'd complained that his stomach would surely start digesting itself if he didn't get some food in him, pronto.

The thought of his wonderful personality made me giggle through my tears. And despite me trying my very best to imagine Emmett being here with me right now, joking how much of a cry baby I was being, or how he'd then follow it by enveloping me with everything that was him and calm me down so easily, it wasn't working. Instead of feeling me leaning against his always warm and welcoming self, it was a cold and unresponsive tree. Instead of me hearing him crack jokes in an effort try at making me smile, I could hear a bird chirping somewhere, it's song holding nothing for me. And, instead of me smelling his familiar scent that said family for me, I could smell the resin and wild flowers around me. Just like my mind, my senses would not be fooled.

Today had just sucked in general but there was a reason why I'd first started thinking about everything. He was always on my mind and I was always getting little reminders, but today was different. When I'd shuffled to get the post this morning I'd spilt my orange juice when I'd seen an envelope holding the official army stamp. I don't why it seemed so different this morning, It had taken me a good few minutes to even take another step, my breathing was almost desperate and I was shaking like a leaf.

When my breathing began to even out some, I reluctantly picked the letter up and held it to me. Usually I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I received one from Emmett, I'd squeal like an idiot and skip around the apartment a few times before I'd snuggle up in his bed, rip it open, being careful not to rip the actual letter of course. Then my eyes would be whizzing back and forth over the pages, laughing at some spelling mistakes and at some of Emmett's jokes. Smiling as his addictive personality seemed to show even in his words. Smirking about him being 'out on the town' with the guys and meeting some 'hotties and honeys.' Crying as he told me a bit about what was going on. Most of all, as the tears cascading down my cheeks, whenever I read his last few lines; I'll always love you, lil' sis, and I can't wait to be back and have a cuddle with you (hearing you purr as I stroke your hair) watching an old re-run of Friends (Saying all the jokes as they do and laughing until our stomachs hurt) with a take-out (God, how I'd love a Chinese right now!) Take care of yourself Ali-Cat; love your Emmy-Bear xxx

When I was done reading, I'd usually hold the letter to me for a while, imagining him saying what he'd just told me. Then I'd read and re-read the letter until I had his words etched on my mind as well as the paper. Then when I'd exhausted myself too much and my eyes hurt, I'd kiss it and put it in my special box along with all his other letters, and hide it safely. I'd cuddle up in Emmett's bed wondering what to write back to him, when really I never needed to think about it. For, as the morning came and I set to writing it, because things were so easy and comfortable between Emmett and I, writing to him came as natural as talking, and I'd usually end write a few pages before even realizing it.

I glanced at my watch, and wondered how I'd managed to lose almost two hours. So, I touched up my make-up, getting rid of the hints of my mini-breakdown; knowing that with my luck today, I'd probably run into someone in the few minutes it would take me to reach my car. When I got into the apartment I decided to order in a pizza not being bothered to cook. I rummaged through the drawer of the coffee table in search of the right menu amongst many others. Having found it I flicked through, decided on what I wanted, and then flicked it over to look for the phone number. I smiled to myself as I saw Emmett's messy handwriting scrawled at the bottom.

Order in sis, be home at 6 x

As soon as I'd finished my pizza, I got changed into my work clothes and walked the ten minutes to work; I was a waitress at a local restaurant. It was owned by Billy Black; a well known friendly-to-all kinda guy. He and his family moved to Jacksonville when his wife died in a tragic car accident around ten years ago. His daughters; Rachel and Rebecca – who I knew had both had at least a fling with Emmett at some point, if not more – and his son; Jacob – who I'd been in a relationship for a few weeks, but we'd decided to call it off for lack of 'that spark' – helped him run the restaurant. The restaurant was called La Push; it wasn't the biggest of places but it was popular and was constantly bringing in new business as well as our trusty locals. The restaurant was named after the reservation where the Black family used to live somewhere up in Washington State.

"Heya." Jake smiled as he tried to ruffle my hair, but I ducked and stuck my tongue out at him. "You're getting better." He said settling for a clap on the back instead, which felt more like being hit by a bus to me, because of our size difference. "So, how's your day been, Shorty?" He asked as he leant against the door while I hung my coat and bag up in the small staff room.

"Still sticking with, Shorty, then?"

"Until you grow some." he nodded and then smirked at my scowl. "Well, come on, you're what seventeen and you're like three foot?"

"Okay, that right there has you headed for a slap. A. Three foot? Give me some credit, it's more like five foot, thank you very much; just because everyone looks like a dwarf next to you. And B. I'm eighteen."

"Ooh, a little touchy today are we?" He joked. "What, bad time of the month?"

I rolled my eyes and walked past him into the restaurant, and behind the bar to get the glasses to start setting the tables. Jake, of course followed me like the lost puppy he is.

"You lost, honey?" I asked him, petting his arm, I would have gone for his head had I been able to reach that high. "Why don't you just go home taking your little wagging tail behind you, pup?"

"I'm more like a wolf, thank you." He said, sticking his chest out in a show of...masculinity?

"Pfft, well anyway if you're going to be annoying me could you at least give me a hand?"

"Sure, I could give you a hand opening a few of those buttons." He said motioning to my shirt.

"Dream on, wolf boy." I chuckled, heading to a table and setting the cutlery and glasses out.

"Believe me, I can. You know, though I knew we didn't work out, I still think it's unfair that you got to me naked and I never saw you in less than your undies." He pouted.

"Jake, I'd hardly call it naked, and anyway, everyone's seen you top-less."

"True." Billy said as he came around the corner. "He pestering you again, Alice?"He asked, with a knowing look.

"No more than usual." I answered and then laughed as Jake pretended I'd wounded his heart.

"Yeah well, how about you go and sort the new delivery boxes out back, son, and let Alice do her work, before we open."

"Sure, sure, spoil all the fun old man." Jake muttered under his breath and then dodged Billy as he tried to hit him with his wheelchair on the way past.

Billy's' legs were paralyzed in the same accident that he lost his wife in, and he'd been in a wheelchair since, though there was no way he'd let in hinder him in any way, it just made him Billy.

"Evening Alice, thank God it's Friday right " Rachel said as she walked in, pulling her long raven hair into a messy ponytail, giving me and then Billy a kiss on the cheek before she went to change into her uniform.

Within half an hour of opening the place we were starting to get busy and the tables were filling up. I was so glad when Rebecca and Jessica turned up, though Jessica was probably the worst colleague imaginable, but she did get us some good tips...somehow.

"Good evening. Are you ready to order?" I asked a couple who'd come here with their children.

"Yes, thank you." The man said politely.

"No, hang on, what do we get for the kids?" The woman asked who I presumed was her husband.

"Honey, they're asleep, we can get them something if they wake up or if not I'll do them something at home."

"That was the point of coming out, I'm fed up of all the dishes..."

As the couple got into a little debate, I turned my attention to the two sleeping children sitting opposite them. I smiled sadly, being reminded of mine and Emmett's foster home nights. The boy had his head lolled on his little girl's head as she cuddled into him as they both slept soundly. I looked back up at the couple to see them both smiling fondly at me.

"The beauty of kids, huh?" The man said to me. I nodded and then got my notepad and pen out as I took their orders.

By nine the place was already starting to slow down and I was sat at the bar drinking my coke as I gazed over my notes for the Stats test I was having on Monday.

"Alice?" Billy asked, pulling me out of my probability blur. "You okay, you just seem a little far away tonight." I quickly turned around, checking the tables, thinking maybe I'd missed someone coming in or needing something, but then turned back to him when I saw everything was fine. "Why don't you go home? The girls can handle the rest of the night." He smiled kindly.

"Are you sure, Billy?"

"Yes, go and put your feet, you worked well tonight. Oh, and don't forget to collect your tips, I put the money bag on the table."

I nodded and thanked him and then went to get my stuff. When I got outside I was greeted by Jake who held his arm for me to take. I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"I'm going ta be your taxi tonight, Miss" He said in a bad impression of a cockney accent.

I shook my head at him but took his arm and let him lead me him to his car; a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit - which I only knew because it was his pride and joy and unfortunately had been there for many a mention of the 'beauty.'

"Well, they could have at least sent me a driver with a decent car." I said playing along with the accent.

"Why, Miss, I think just you went and wounded me Jam tart, knocking on' bout me la-di-dah" He said.

"Huh?" I asked, tilting my head and looking at him oddly.

"My sisters were watching My Fair Lady before we got here, you know cockney slang." he said rolling his eyes. "I said; I think you wounded my heart talking about my car like that." He then explained.

"Well, you know, it is an 1985?" I said slipping up on purpose.

"It's 86, actually!" He defended.

"Now who's at the bad time of the month?" I snorted, holding my hands up in defence.

"Oh, shut it and get your short yet delicious ass-self in the car." he smirked.

I gave him my best shocked face but jumped in regardless, used to his teasing ways, though I felt he still lusted after me. I ignored him obviously for the first minute or so.

"Well, would you have preferred it if I'd said ugly ass?" He asked, trying to be serious though his smirk didn't help his case.

"Besides the point." I mumbled.

"No, it's not." He quipped back making him sound like a little boy. "Fine, don't talk to me then, just get in and lock the door after you." He grinned.

"I can look after myself, you know." I shrugged.

"I promised Em I'd look out for you whenever we were together, so, really, I'm only keeping a promise to a friend."

"Oh..." I said as my earlier emotions seemed to flood back in and suddenly I needed to be inside alone. "Well thanks for the lift Jake, see you." I said hurriedly fumbling to fish my keys from my bag and rushed to the door.

"Sure, see you..." I heard Jake's voice trail off as I closed the door and ran straight to my room.

I knelt down pulling the box out and then gently took this morning's letter and then sat cross legged on my bed. I took a deep breath as I turned it over to open it, but as soon as I touched the fold, I had that same bad feeling again and couldn't bring myself to do it. I closed my eyes, trying to will myself into it, knowing I'd feel better when it had been read. When I gave up on that, something caught my eye. I'd left the top of the box off and a picture was peeking out under the letter; a picture of Emmett smiling up at me.

The picture in question was of Emmett with his arms around Esme and Carlisle's shoulders, all three smiling up at me. Without thinking I grabbed the letter and my bear then headed back out, knowing exactly what I needed to do, where I needed to go..

When I got the familiar front door, I knocked instead of rung the bell so I didn't wake any of the younger children who would already be in bed. It was Carlisle who opened the door, he seemed curious yet happy to see me, and immediately stepped aside to let me in.

"Nice to see you, Alice." He said as he drew me in a hug, and then pulled back as Esme descended the stairs.

"Alice, Sweetheart, lovely to see you." She said in the same manner as Carlisle and also gave me a warm hug. "Oh, Alice?"

She soothed as I broke down in her arms, and she pulled me to sit with her on the sofa as Carlisle headed for the kitchen. Esme didn't pester me to tell her why I was crying or even tried to calm me, she knew it would be useless right now, I just needed to be held and let cry for a moment. Carlisle came back in a few minutes later with a coffee for him and Esme and a hot chocolate topped with whipped cream just like we used to have here on Friday nights when we were little, though with Emmett and I, it wasn't so much 'when we were little' as we had it every Friday until the week we'd left.

"I'm sorry." I managed as my sobs subsided a little.

"Don't apologize, Sweetheart, we've always said that we'd be here for you no matter how old you were, and you having moved out won't change that." Esme said as she gently wiped my eyes with a tissue, using her beautiful motherly touch that was like magic to children.

Carlisle handed me my hot chocolate and I took it gratefully letting its warmth seep through my fingertips and enjoying the feeling of the hot liquid tickling my taste buds. After a few sips, I looked back up at Carlisle and Esme.

"I just always felt as if you both understand exactly what everyone needed, and I just find comfort in you. Which is why I came here; I knew things would be hard, I knew there was no way that I wouldn't miss Emmett. He's always been there, he's always been my comforter, the one I'd turn to in any situation, but I just feel lost, like I don't know which way to turn now that he's not here, and he's the one I want to comfort me, though I know all that hardly makes sense."

"Alice, it's fine. We've been dealing with foster children for a long time, we understand the emotions, we've had a lot of experience trying to help people with loss, and though Emmett is coming back, it's still a loss. A loss because he's not here right now, and you just want to take the comfort in him, as you've always felt was right before." Carlisle told me, showing just how much of a perfect and well-suited couple he and Esme are.

"And then...." I took a deep breath. "And then I got the letter this morning; and now...."

"No..." Esme whispered. I lifted my head to look at her to see she had tears in her eyes.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"No" I said as I closed my eyes and shook my head, only hearing their sighs of relief. "I just, I can't open it. Usually I'm so excited about getting his letters, they're like a life-line to me, but I just couldn't do it. I know I sound stupid and irrational, but I just have a bad feeling."

"Alice, you don't have to try and justify things to us, Honey. We understand. From the very first night you and Emmett were close, you became each others' brother and sister', you were each others' family, and it was always obvious that you never needed anyone else once you'd found each other.

"You were just meant to be. He was exactly what you needed as a comfort, he helped you; he was exactly what the numerous foster parents and even Carlisle and I couldn't be; what you needed.

"In return he needed you as well, he felt comfort in taking care of you, and knew that you were there for him as much as he was for you. And despite living in a house full of children who were in the same position as both of you, it was as if you were the only two that could understand each other perfectly.

"It melted my heart that morning when I came downstairs to find you both curled up on the sofa together. I'd been worried about Emmett, because I could tell he was such a friendly little boy, and I knew all he needed was a friend who he felt right with, but he just hadn't found him or her until you.

"Seeing him with arms wrapped around your little frame and his head rested on top of yours, I just knew you were meant to be. It was like he was a new person. Despite this, I remained wary about you for a little while, knowing that this wasn't the frightened, quiet little girl all your foster parents had seen. It was as if I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, that maybe it would be a delayed thing, so I kept my eye on the pair of you, just in case. But, as time when on, I was perfectly happy to accept that Emmett really had helped you.

"You and Emmett were such joys to have around. You were like reels of endless energy, and the pair of you were always smiling and laughing. Everyone thought you truly were brother and sister; the both of you with the dark hair and dazzling bright blue eyes that were always sparkling. People often commented how you were lucky that you had each other to get over the loss of your parents, I could never bring myself to tell them otherwise. You and he were brother and sister in every sense except for blood, which never would have been important to a seven year old and a four year old.

"It was always Alice and Emmett against the world - Ali-Cat and Emmy-Bear and you never needed anyone else. It was a very comforting thing to watch for Carlisle and I, to know that you felt so safe and right together, children need stability and even now it's good to have someone."

Whilst Esme talked I listened intently, re-living it all with her, smiling and crying at the same time, of mine and Emmett's wonderful time together over the years. Sometimes it was odd to think that Emmett and I had known each other and had been so close for over fourteen years. Yet, in another sense, I couldn't imagine my life ever being different, and anyway, it wasn't as if I could really remember anything before what I called my new life with Emmett, it was all like a big dark hole, I couldn't re-call any of my life before that.

"So, you see, Alice, what you're feeling all makes perfect sense, you've just always had Emmett beside you, to hold your hand, or give you one of his famous 'bear hugs,' you're just a little at loss now that you're living your life alone." Carlisle smiled.

I took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"And you've told us before how much comfort you get from hearing from Emmett, knowing he's okay, and how he says he needs you as much as you need him."

I stayed at theirs for a little while longer, just chatting and reminiscing about good times. But after a while, they had to get the older kids to bed, and my nervousness about the letter was not subsiding, so I knew it had to be done. I left with big thanks and hugs.

"You know you're always welcome here, Alice, you should pop by more often."

I gave them a nod, knowing my voice would probably crack if I tried anything more and headed for my car.

When I got in I made myself a hot drink and decided to keep my tradition and went to sit on Emmett's bed to read the letter. I set my hot chocolate; with plenty of marshmallows on the night stand and plumped the pillows up. Then I got myself comfy along with my substitute Emmy-Bear. I reached for Emmett's throw and wrapped it around me as I cuddled in his bed. I did wonder how I would look if another person my age could see me right now, all snuggled with a kids blanket and teddy whilst sipping my hot chocolate with too many marshmallows. But, hey, I couldn't' have cared less at that moment.

It had been a tough day and I didn't know one other person that seemed to live such an emotional or lost life, and I was just glad that it wasn't that time of the month as Jake had joked, because I seriously would have been a force not to reckon with as Emmett would have said. To be honest though, he was the sweetest guy when it came to that; he knew by now not to get on my bad side during those first few days, and kept the teasing to a minimum whenever I got emotional, always making me snacks and doing hot water bottles for me, and by now I was used to his little ways and constant 'you sure you aint knocked up, Ali, cause I think I'm too young to be being an uncle just yet?'

I closed my eyes and let my nerves calm a little as the letter rested in my lap. Then when I was happy, I took a deep breath and pulled the letter out opening the pages out, smiling when I saw some of Emmett's doodles on one page. Just as I read the first time Dear my lil Ali-Cat there was a knock at the door. I considered ignoring it for a moment, as I just sat there and hoped whoever it was would leave me alone just this once. However, it really didn't seem to be my day as the one knock turned into a loud sequence.

With a huff I leapt from the bed and jogged to answer the door and give whoever it was a piece of my mind. I practically wrenched the door open and felt my heart stutter painfully in my chest as I saw who was standing before me.

My breathing became laboured and I swear my heart was racing too fast to be healthy. The sudden temperature drop was a lot more than the blanket falling from my shoulders. My blood felt like ice as it raced through my veins.

I clutched my mid-section as my breathing continued coming in desperate gasps, and before I could steady myself I crumpled to the floor.

"Miss?" The officer asked as he knelt before me.

No...

This couldn't be happening....

I couldn't handle it...

Emmy-Bear...

MC: Thank you for reading.

PT: Hope you enjoyed.

MC: Reviews are better than getting your own letter along with personalized Emmett doodles. And yes, I know everyone would prefer Emmett himself but you know...*pouts*

PT: See ya next time.

MC: *blows kisses* Bye!