Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, they belong to Kishimoto Masashi.
Warning: Contains yaoi, language and is AU
Italics mean Sasuke's thoughts.
Thank you so much for reviewing.
The doorbell rang and Sai was smiling and holding up cleaning supplies and next to him was Naruto.
Sasuke was lost for words. It's Naruto… Naruto is here. Naruto is here at my house… Naruto is here at my house standing about five feet from me.
"Ohayo, Sasuke! I literally bumped into Sai at the store and he didn't know what cleaning supplies to use so I helped him out. He asked if I wanted to help him clean up a prank he pulled and I said yes and then we met Neji and asked him to come. Then I remembered I had to go to Gaara's house for a Japanese project so I asked him to come and now he's here to help too!" Naruto blathered.
It's not that Sasuke didn't find it annoying. To put it simply he couldn't find it annoying. He thought it was cute. Very cute. Wait… Neji? Gaara? What?
Sai and Naruto stepped intothrough the door and revealed Neji and Gaara looking at Naruto's butt. Naruto, being a klutz, slipped on some blood near the doorway causing him to fall backwards, Sasuke tried to catch him but he knew he wouldn't have made it on time.
To Sasuke's dismay it was Neji, who has quick reflexes and was right behind Naruto, which caught Naruto and held him in his arms for a while longer than needed before letting him go. If only that was me I'd sell my soul without a second thought.
"U-um, it looked like you needed a little help, sorry." Neji was blushing. HOLY SHIT! NEJI WAS BLUSHING!
"Thank you, Neji," Naruto smiled warmly at Neji causing him to blush more and Gaara and Sasuke to fume. Naruto took note of the living room and looked impressed. "Whoa! Nice! I heard they sell animal's blood at a butcher shop in Sunagakure, is that where you got the blood?"
"Yes, you sure are sharp, Naruto. Do you enjoy pulling pranks as well?" Sai asked. He, as always, had his perverted grin set on his face. It looks like he just injected that BOTOX shot weird thingy into his face, Sasuke thought.
"Not as extreme as this one," Naruto whistles looking around the red and white living room. "So, Sai, I heard you're going to Konoha High! That's so great!" What! How come I didn't know?
"Yes, it would be best, since I spent middle school and high school traveling all over the world, it would be enough experience. Also, I'm tired of my tutors; I once put my pet tarantula, Kidoumaru, in my history tutor's mouth. He choked on it, swallowed, and quit," Sai let out a chuckle at the memory.
"Sai, you're staying here?" Sasuke gushed out. "Why?"
"I just told you. I'm tired of my tutors. They always fall asleep in the middle of the lesson or nod of for five minutes and talk about something else when they wake up. Don't you listen, Sasuke?"
"No…" Sasuke admitted. He was watching Naruto. His shoulders are touching Neji. He's mine, damnit!
Gaara obviously noticed this and took Naruto's arm and asked him if they could clean together. Naruto bring… well Naruto, agreed. How do you even clean together? Other than me and Naruto in the showers…
"Sasuke, take the cloth thingy and start cleaning," Neji suggested. He looks quite mad. Scratch that, he looks really mad. Sasuke didn't want to piss off the senior so he just did as he was told.
Two hours later
"Sai, did you get Lysol or some spraying thing? It smells like blood in here," Sasuke looked over at Sai half expecting him to say no.
"No…" Sai said. "Don't you have anything here? I mean your maids are bound to have something, right?"
"I think so," Sasuke replied, giving a sigh of defeat, my cousin really is the weirdest. Wouldn't any intelligent person know that blood smells? And to think Sai was a 'genius.'
"Sasuke, why won't the maids clean this up?" Sai asked.
"Because, according to Itachi, they're retarded (1) and are afraid of it, or afraid of getting their uniforms dirty," Sasuke answered. Naruto imagined maids screaming at the sight of blood and started giggling. AWWWW! He's so cute!
"Where is Itachi?" Neji inquired eyeing the room. The last time Neji was here, Itachi winked at him. It's not that Neji didn't think Itachi was attractive or anything. In fact he thought Itachi was damn sexy, but Neji only liked Naruto. And Naruto only.
"I'm not sure. He's probably at a meeting or Akatsuki or something."
"Who's Itachi?" Gaara asked. Geeze, what's with all the questions?
"He is my brother."
"What's Akatsuki?" Sasuke didn't mind Naruto asking since he looked so cute doing it. AWWW! He's so cute!
"The nightclub my brother owns," Sasuke smiled at Naruto who was sitting on the couch. Everyone was done cleaning. It was just the stench they had to get rid of.
"So, anyways, back to the spray problem, who wants to go look for it? I nominate Naruto," Sai said.
"Why me?"
"Because you want to do it… right, Naruto?" Sai got off the couch and started walking towards Naruto; he had a perverted smile plastered on his face.
"Sure!" Naruto's smile pretty much lit up the room while Sasuke pulled Sai back down onto his seat.
"So… Who wants to look for it with Naruto?" Sai asked, observing Sasuke, Neji and Gaara.
"I'll go!" all three of them shouted in unison. They too realized it and glared at each other.
"Naruto would you like to pick who you want to go with you?" Sai asked.
"I don't really care…" Naruto said. "I don't know…"
"Well then how about a battle to the death?" suggested Sai. Everyone turned to look at him. "Just joking."
"I'll go," Gaara repeated his offer.
"Okay, Gaara then," Naruto pointed to Gaara.
"Right… I'm sure you know the way around the house…" Sasuke muttered under his breath.
"Sasuke is right. Perhaps someone who knows his house fairly well should help him look for it," a new voice said.
"Itachi-niisan?" YAY! He's going to suggest I go look for it with Naruto!
"I'll help him look for it," Itachi stated. No one argued with him, though the three Naruto-lovers looked depressed. Sai just smiled. "You're Naruto-kun, right?" What? Not fair!
"Hai, my name is Naruto Uzumaki; my favorite color is orange, and I live in an apartment with Iruka-sensei! I love eating beef miso ramen and my favourite sport is soccer and basketball!" Itachi looked at Naruto with an amused… smile? Holy shit! He's smiling. Shit! He's going to massacre our family! Holy shit! He's smiling!
The last time Sasuke had seen Itachi smile was when he graduated from middle school at age seven. Yes, what a prodigy, but he didn't smile because he graduated. He smiled because Sai stripped the teacher Itachi hated the most and made him dance naked in front of all the parents. Sai was evil when he was four. Itachi only smiled to mask him laughter.
This, however, was completely different. Sasuke was scared. Neji was scared. Sai was slightly intimidated, and since Gaara didn't know him thought it was normal, though he did feel a bit uneasy. Naruto didn't notice this at all and smiled at Itachi. Sasuke would've thought about how cute it was but he was practically petrified.
"So, shall we go?" Itachi asked, holding his hand out for Naruto. Naruto giggled a bit and took his hand, thinking Itachi was just being polite, but Itachi has NEVER been polite to strangers. Sasuke was sure he wouldn't rape Naruto or anything but he was still jealous.
-With Itachi and Naruto-
"So, any ideas where it is?" Naruto asked.
"Not a clue, but at least we won't get lost," Itachi said. He found Naruto really intriguing. "So this is the boy Sasuke likes?" Itachi whispered. He could see why Sasuke liked him. Naruto was gorgeous and his personality… it was really something he couldn't explain.
"Where are the maids and stuff?"
"I don't know, Naruto-kun."
-With Sasuke, Gaara, Neji and Sai-
"So, do you think Itachi is molesting him?" Sai broke the silence with his question. Gaara looked horrified, Neji looked concerned and Sasuke highly doubted it.
"No, Itachi-niisan wouldn't molest him. He knows that I li-" Sasuke paused.
"Yeah, I'm sure he wouldn't either," Sai said. They went back to their awkward silence while waiting for Itachi and Naruto to return. Sai cleared his throat a few time and took a pen from the table and "accidentally" flung the ink holder across the room.
Gaara and Neji looked at him really weirdly. They had just cleaned up and he was doing his little crazy stunts again?
Sasuke knew better than to even acknowledge it, none of the ink was spilled luckily.
"Do you guys want a drink?" a maid asked. She had four pina coladas in a tray she carried. Now they come out.
"Yes, please," Neji politely took one. Gaara, Sasuke and Sai just took one without saying thanks or show any gratitude.
-With Naruto and Itachi-
"Oh, here it is!" exclaimed Naruto.
"Yeah, there it is. Hey Naruto! How about going to Akatsuki, if Sasuke lets you?" Itachi asked.
"Why do I need permission from Sasuke?" asked Naruto looking up at Itachi. His blue eyes filled with curiosity.
"I don't know. I suggest you just ask him," Itachi started to walk back to the living room with Naruto following closely behind him.
"Hey Sasuke, can I go to Akatsuki with you?" Naruto asked after Itachi and he came into the living room together.
Sasuke who just took a sip of his pina colada spit it out on Sai's face. Sai looked slightly irritated, but just wiped it off.
"W-why do you want to come, Naruto?" Sasuke asked. He half hoped Naruto wouldn't in case a clingy girl came back and begged him to take her back. He also half hoped Naruto would say that he wanted to come so he could spend more time with Sasuke.
"Do you not want me to come?" Naruto looked disappointed and looked at his fingers. Sasuke felt a wave of guilt sweep over him.
"No, I want you to come with me to Akatsuki, Naruto," Sasuke offered Naruto a true smile.
"I want to join the two of you," Gaara said.
"Can Gaara come too?" Naruto pleaded, giving Sasuke a face that he simply couldn't say no to.
"I would love to come along with you and Naruto to Akatsuki, Sasuke," Neji politely stated.
"Can Neji come too?" Naruto made the face again and Sasuke once again gave in. AWWWW! He's so cute!
"Hey Naruto, I want to talk to you in the kitchen," Sai said. Sasuke eyed him suspiciously.
"Ok, what's up?" Naruto's voice faded in the direction of the kitchen.
After Sasuke and Sai got changed they dropped Naruto, Gaara and Neji at their houses so they could change out of their clothes. Itachi was always clean and didn't help with the cleaning so he was good and ready to go.
They arrived at Akatsuki at 8:00 in the evening and there were already people in the line up (2). Since Itachi was the owner, he and Sasuke, Naruto, Neji, Gaara, and Sai were able to go in without lining up.
"Hello!" a drunken middle-aged man shouted into Gaara's ear and pinched him in the rear end. Gaara's face was red from both fury and embarrassment. He wanted to rip the man's throat out but he didn't want Naruto to think he was a psychotic killer so he just settled at glaring at the man. "How much?"
"What!" Gaara shouted over the music. He had heard what the man said, but he wasn't sure if he meant it. Gaara was hoping he heard wrong. Sai had started flirting with some girl who was drinking at the bar. Itachi had gone off on his own and Neji and Sasuke stuck with him because Naruto was there.
"How much do you want? How much money to fuck you senseless," the man asked chugging down another bottle of vodka. Naruto looked at the man really offended he had asked his friend that.
"My friend is not a manwhore!" Naruto shouted.
"Well, you look quite cute too. Why don't you both blow me, together?"
"Mister, your behavior to Naruto is simply unacceptable. I will not allow it!" Neji said. He was defending Naruto more than Gaara. Heck, he was just defending Naruto. If it had just been Gaara Neji would've just watched.
"Do I hheaaarrrr a fooooouuurrr-soommme?" the drunk man slurred his words and leaned in closer to Neji's face. Whoa… Holy shit, he kissed Neji on the lips!
"Hey, you old bastard, we're minors," Neji sounded dangerous.
"WHEEE! Sex withs younggg boooooyss! WHEE!" the stupid man hugged Naruto. Naruto's eyes widened and froze. Oh shit, you fucking old geezard, I'm going to kill you! Fuck you, dirty son of a bitch.
Neji and Gaara were obviously thinking the same things because Neji kicked the drunkard in the stomach making him puke on the floor and Gaara jerked Naruto out of his arms just in time for the man.
"No, my little twinkle boys (3)! My littllleee booyysssss, why not come over?" What the hell is he saying?
"What?" Gaara asked, voicing Sasuke's thoughts. They never got the answer however, because the man passed out.
"What are twinkle boys?" asked Naruto after finding his voice, and poking the man to see if he was alright.
"Naruto-kun, I don't think it's appropriate for cute, innocent boys to know this," Sai said, popping up behind scaring him quite badly. Holy shit…
"What does it mean, Sai?" Sasuke asked curiously, but Sai just cackled and went back to the bar and flirted with another girl.
"I still don't know what it means!" Naruto pouted. AWWW! HE'S SO CUTE!
"Neither do I," Neji said, comforting Naruto. Gaara just scoffed at the man on the floor and went to get a drink.
"Do you want a drink, Naruto?" Sasuke offered.
"I'm underage, no thank you."
"Okay then, Neji?"
"Sure," Neji took the drink and looked over at Naruto. Naruto was helping the man onto a nearby couch and facing him sideways so he wouldn't choke on his own barf. Neji smiled at the sight and continued drinking his beer. He knew Naruto was too nice for his own good. Even when Neji had been mean to him when Naruto was a freshman, Naruto still saved him that day.
Neji felt someone ram into his side. "Ouch, what the heck?" He turned around and saw Tenten dancing near him as if encouraging him to dance. Neji wondered how she got here but just refused and went to sulk that a drunken man had just kissed him.
"Neji! Neji! Aren't you going to dance?" Tenten asked.
"No." Plain and simple. Clear and loud. Tenten didn't ask him for the rest of the night and went off to dance with some girls from school.
Sasuke was also watching Naruto help the man. He couldn't help but think how cute Naruto looked and this was one of the million reasons Sasuke loves Naruto.
"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Naruto is going to come to our house for a sleepover… you can ogle him then, can't you?" Sai asked, handing Sasuke yet another drink. What!
"He's coming over for a sleepover? Why didn't you tell me? I would've cleaned my room and-"
"Sasuke, he's sleeping in a guest room not your room, it could be messy as hell, which it is not, and he still wouldn't know." How would he know? "Besides, Itachi knows he's staying over!" Sai stated.
"Oh, well I guess that's cool… I'll just play it cool."
"Sasuke, do you by any chance remember the time I put green food coloring in all the milk and bread in the house and the maids thought it was sour?" Sai asked.
"Yeah, why? Are you going to do that lame prank again?" Sasuke was getting suspicious.
"No… but you remember your face when you drank it and didn't even look at the glass and when Itachi pointed it out to you, you started crying and screaming about getting food poisoning and evil disease?" Sai smiled evilly.
"Shut up, Sai!" Sasuke yelled narrowing his eyes slightly.
"No, I'm using it as an example. Just don't do that in front of Naruto." He's right. I looked so pathetic back then that Itachi had to give me a teddy bear to make me shut up and take me to the doctor. That's when the doctor identified it as food coloring.
"Okay…" Sasuke said unsurely. He wasn't sure why Sai would think he'd start acting like that in the first place. Maybe he's really going to do the same prank twice. Sasuke doubted it though, Sai had been very creative his entire life, with pranks at least. Sai had been very good at school too almost as good as Sasuke. The key word being almost here.
"Sasuke, do you want to dance?"
"No, I don't want to dance," Sasuke said, so lost in thought he thought it was another clingy girl who just couldn't understand that he didn't really love them.
"Oh… okay then," the familiar voice said, disappointed. Sasuke realized who it was and looked at the retreating Naruto and felt his throat dry up. Find your voice, find your voice, you stupid idiot!
"Wait, sorry Naruto, yeah, let's dance," Sasuke apologized hoping Naruto would say yes. Kami-sama, please!
"Okay, Sasuke," Naruto smiled at him and then they went onto the dance floor. Yes, slow song! YAY! Thank you so much god, or whoever's up there. Maybe it's Itachi-niisan who changed it into a slow song. Thank you Itachi-niisan!
Sasuke took the lead and held Naruto closely; he could feel his own heart beat increase a million times. Naruto looked so cute and felt so comfortable against him. He would've never wanted this moment to end. Maybe I really should tell him. After a while the song ended and Neji apparently got the courage to ask Naruto to dance. After that it was a techno song with a fast beat and Gaara asked Naruto to dance to that.
"So, Sasuke, do you want to go home yet?" Sai asked eagerly.
"No, why?" Sasuke asked.
"It's not like you're getting laid tonight," Sai replied, pointing at Naruto who was doing some funky dance moves with Gaara.
"You're right, after two more songs."
"SASUKE! SASUKE! It's me, Ami (note: NOT AN OC 4)!" a purple haired girl shouted. She had pink streaks in her hair and was wearing a skimpy outfit. Oh crud, I knew this would happen…
"Hi, Ami, I hope you realize that last night… last night was just a one time kind of thing. You won't get more; I won't let you have any, leave me alone…" Sasuke remembered this speech by heart. Kisame had taught him this when he was fourteen. He hadn't really needed it but since Kisame said it would be helpful in his life he took note of it.
"What do you mean I'm not getting anymore?" Ami narrowed her eyes at Sasuke. Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman, I better be careful.
"He means you're a one night stand," Sai nosily cut in, thus making Ami's eyes practically red.
"I was not, just-just yesterday h-he said he…" Ami face was red from either madness or embarrassment. Sasuke noted that she was stuttering and hoped she was just embarrasses. Five months ago he made a girl mad at him and she went to his school and she sold videos of him in the shower. That is illegal right? Sasuke didn't even give her permission. Thank god for Itachi.
"He said you were pretty and used a cheap and corny pick up line of how beautiful you are? Yeah, happens to everyone nowadays." Sai turned to Sasuke and patted him on the shoulder, "Sasuke, try better lines next time."
"Umm… okay…" Sasuke uncertainly said. He was slightly abashed at Ami's manner. Sasuke barely remembered her. He was drunk.
"B-but Sasuke, you said y-yo-you…" Ami trailed off and took off her earring. What the hell? Is she going to pierce my ear? That's not very original Sai did it already.
"If I can't have you no one can!" Ami shouted and charged at Sasuke holding the earring and stabbed it into Sasuke's arm. Ouch, crazy bitch. It's only bleeding a bit, is she stupid?
Akatsuki was quiet. Very quiet. Apparently the DJ, Sasori, stopped the music so Sasuke would get embarrassed. Ami broke the silence by screaming and hugging Sasuke and repeating how she killed Sasuke. I'm not dead. I'm not even unconscious, gosh; I'm barely even hurt if you can call it that. Now Ami was crying on Sasuke's suit and Sasuke stood very still and tensed when he saw Naruto and Gaara looking at him.
"Sasuke! Why, my dear? Why did I kill you?" Ami bawled unfathomably.
Sai chose this time to break out laughing and muttering something about earring as a weapon and how stupid Sasuke looked. Sasuke glared at him and scoffed.
"NOOOOOOOOO! I killed my darling!" Ami bawled into Sasuke's ear. Ouch.
"I'm not dead! Geeze, leave me alone. Earrings can't kill… especially if you poke it in my arm, you bitch," Sasuke barked at Ami.
"NO, my baby is dead. I'm only seventeen; I'll never find someone else!"
"I'm not dead for heaven's sake!" Sasuke growled. This is so embarrassing. Sai was still laughing. Sasuke could feel Ami tighten her grip on him. Damn clingy girls.
"Everyone, go on to what you were doing before," Itachi ordered in a firm tone. The DJ starred a new song and people started dancing again including Gaara and Naruto who danced together again.
Ami was still crying on Sasuke's shirt. "Stop crying," Sasuke tried to imitate Itachi's voice but failed royally.
"Sasuke, you're alive!" Ami, if you scream one more time…
"Yes, he is, now please get off him," Itachi requested politely. He was irritated that Ami had disrupted his nightclub.
"No… I won't leave him in his time of need," Ami sure was persistent. Sasuke wanted to push her off but was unable since she was hugging him and his arms.
"How about you let go of him and leave and we won't sue you?"
"Fine, but know that I will always love you, Sasuke! Farewell!" Ami shouted off running out of the door. What the hell?
"Sasuke, that was funny!" Sai cheered, pulling the earring out of Sasuke's arm. Ouch, everyone is out to hurt me today.
Once the song ended Sasuke told Naruto that he was quite tired, Naruto had agreed and they went back with Sai. Neji and Gaara called their drivers (5) or something, Sasuke wasn't paying attention. Itachi had stayed behind.
Sasuke's House
Sasuke walked upstairs and waited for Naruto to follow. Itachi said it was his duty to show Naruto his room. Luckily, there was a guest room across from Sasuke's room.
"That's your room, Naruto," Sasuke motioned to the mahogany door on the other side of the hallway. Sai popped up out of nowhere and watched Sasuke closely.
"Wait Sasuke, who's Ami? Is she your girlfriend?" Naruto inquired. He sounded a bit nervous.
"No, Naruto. No, she isn't my girlfriend," Sasuke gave him a reassuring smile and could feel a blood rush up into his face.
"Okay."
"Sasuke opened his door and walked into his room… or at least tried to. There was something in the way, like a force or something. What the hell?
Sai started laughing and pointing at Sasuke, Naruto also laughed. Sai high-fived Naruto and they leaned on each other for support. What the fuck is happening here?
"Sai! What did you do?" Sasuke was confused, mad and embarrassed. Embarrassed because he fell into Sai's prank in front of Naruto.
"Don't just blame me, Naruto helped out too."
"Naruto helped out?"
"Yeah, I did," Naruto proudly pointed to himself. Naruto and Sai stopped laughing when they heard Sasuke growl. Then they looked at each other and started laughing harder than before.
"What did you guys do?"
"W-we, oh gosh this is too funny." Seems like Sai is having trouble breathing. Sasuke smirked as Sai started coughing.
"Sai, are you okay?" Naruto had stopped laughing and sounded concerned and panicky.
"Yep, fine," Sai coughed a few more times and before finally catching his breath.
"So, what did you do?" Sasuke questioned angrily.
"We taped clear plastic wrap onto your door frame and to your floor so it looks normal, yet you can't walk into your room!" Sai exclaimed. Well, he looks happy.
"You can just take the tape off though, Sasuke," Naruto was getting nervous. Perhaps he shouldn't have done this to Sasuke. "Sorry, I just thought it would be funny."
"Don't worry, it is funny, Naruto," Sai insisted.
"It's okay Naruto, it was my evil cousin's influence," Sasuke gave Naruto another reassuring smile causing Naruto to flush. "Well, I'm going to bed after a shower," Sasuke stated taking the tape off, "maybe you should get some sleep too."
"Okay, good night, Sasuke," Naruto responded. He had another cute grin on his face, but this one seemed different. Sasuke entered him room after hearing Sai declare he was going to Sasuke's school tomorrow.
Sasuke's Room
Sasuke took a quick shower and changed into footy pajamas. They were his deadly secret. If anyone knew about his pajamas he would be screwed over and it would ruin his reputation. Worst of all, Naruto might shun him or laugh and call him stupid.
Unluckily for Sasuke, Naruto chose this moment to burst through the door calling his name. Sasuke's mind went blank. Naruto just stood there and examined Sasuke for two minutes. "Sasuke…"
(1) No offense to anyone whatsoever. This is for entertainment. Sorry to offend anyone.
(2) You know in shows and movies when people line up to get into a nightclub or party. Yeah… those
(3) The whole 'twinkle boy' incident happened to my cousin and his friends. I really don't know what it means… right… e-mail me or contact me or something if you do please.
(4) Ami is NOT an original character. If you've watched episode 41, in Sakura's flashback, there's a girl who was bullying Sakura and then Ino threw three flowers into her mouth. That's Ami. Also, in episode 132, in Naruto's flashback/thoughts, Ami was one of Sasuke's fan girls (standing on the far left, next to a boy or someone who looks like a boy). I'm not sure if her hair is black or purple but Idecided tomake itpurple. I just added the pink streaks forfun. She firstshows up in manga chapter71.
(NOTE: Sai is also not an OC… He shows up later in the mangas. Sasori is also not a OC. He is a member of Akatsuki.)
(5) Neji is a Hyuuga therefore he's most likely to be rich. Gaara is attending Konoha High so he's rich too. I just thought since Gaara's father was the kazekage in the anime he might as well be rich.
Thank you so much for reviewing everyone. Sorry for the corny scenes… Oh right, please review for this chapter! Next chapter should be up near July 11 or something because I have to attend to something. Please, please review with cherries, whipped cream and everything you like and aren't allergic to on top! Thank you for reading Whirlpool chapter 3!