Peeta

Antiseptic.

The smell of it burns through my senses before I can register anything else.

It's all wrong, though. I was gone from there. Free. Katniss had come and taken me far away from Snow and the screaming and the burning and the too bright darkness. She was there, I know it. I tasted her skin and felt her lips and breathed her scent. Katniss was there and she promised she wouldn't leave.

The light behind my eyelids isn't the painful brightness from the interrogation rooms. It might not hurt to see if I could actually manage to open my eyes.

Everything is fuzzy. I can't quite feel my fingers or my toes, even when I try to wiggle them. My head is stuffed full of cotton wool, something the antiseptic isn't burning away quick enough.

I want Katniss back.

The world lurches around me when I finally manage to blink my eyes open. I can manage only a few seconds of the teetering swirl before I have to close my eyes against the sudden rising nausea in the pit of my stomach. The sharp buzzing in my ears churns it up even more.

The hand on my arm is sudden and jarring... but it's the wrong one. It's not Katniss. The hand's too big and the calluses are in the wrong spots and it's just not her.

"No." I try to pull my arm away from that hand, but it only holds on tighter, squeezing to the point of being painful. "Le' go."

There's a shuffling sound off to my right, so I force my eyes open again and search out the source. It's all a blur at first, but then I focus and I see the needles. See the medical equipment that I know all too well now. I know which ones are meant to slice through flesh and muscle and which ones send shocks of electricity screaming through nerve endings.

The man in the lab coat is holding a needle. A needle filled with a shocking blue liquid. Too blue. The too red liquid burned like fire. Snow had liked to watch them inject me with it. He'd loved to watch me writhe and scream and beg for them to stop. They never stopped, though. Again and again until he was completely sure that I knew nothing about the Rebellion. Then he ordered them to do it again just to show that he could.

While the man is busy flicking the air out of the needle, I lunge at him. I shove him away and then roll in the other direction. The world's tilting alarmingly and my stomach's roiling, but I don't need to go far. I just have to find a door. I have to find a door and get out. I have to find Katniss. I have to—

The floor comes up far too quickly. I don't even have time to brace myself before my entire body impacts with the cold tiles. My right shoulder takes the brunt of it, but I push it aside. There's nothing for me to haul myself up with, so I try to push myself up and end up crawling towards the nearest wall.

There are hands—too many hands—grabbing at my legs and arms, trying to stop me. I twist onto my back, shoving at them and kicking out. Somewhere, in the background, I hear a crash, and some of those hands are gone. The faces above me blur, never completely in focus. The white coats fill most of my vision.

"Peeta!"

The lab coats fade away and there's only Katniss.

I reach out to her as soon as she's close enough, grabbing hold of her upper arms. She gathers me close, her fingers moving through my hair and along my cheeks and neck. Her grey eyes are worried and creased in the corners, but there's no fear.

"It's okay, Peeta. You're in the hospital. You're safe here," Katniss promises, her thumb running over my bottom lip. "It's over."

There's no lie in her face, no hesitation. A few shorter strands of hair have fallen free of her braid and are ticking my cheeks and neck as she leans over me. My eyes drift shut, blocking out all of the swirling chaos that's still around the room and stirring the nausea again. Her lips press against my forehead and her scent fills my nose. It's enough to ground me and calm my still erratically beating heart.

"Stay with me." I force my eyes open as I make the request, searching out her eyes.

There's not even a moment's hesitation before Katniss nods her head. Her mouth is moving, but everything's becoming fuzzy again and I can't make out the words. I want to fight it, to stay awake with her, but each time I blink it's harder to keep my eyes open.

Between one blink and the next I go from being wrapped in Katniss' arms on the floor to lying on a hospital bed with Katniss holding my hand. It's impossible to tell how much time has passed in the artificial light, but I don't think it's been too long. The same few strands of hair seem to be framing her face, curling against her jaw and ghosting over her collarbones. There are a few more creases in the corner of her eyes, but those fade quickly enough when she sees me looking at her.

The antiseptic smell is still there, but Katniss' thumb sliding over my knuckles and her fingers brushing through my hair quells the worst of the panic that smell creates. I lift our joined hands to my lips, kissing her thumb then her wrist. Her lips against my forehead are soft and soothing.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," Katniss apologizes, her eyes soft and her fingers still moving through my hair. "Haymitch slipped something into my tea and they took me out when I fell asleep."

"S'okay," I yawn, shifting about on the bed to try and find a more comfortable position. It's only as I'm trying to push myself upwards a bit with my heels that I realize I can only get any traction from my right foot. Looking down, the indent my left leg makes under the thin blanket ends just below my knee. "Are they worried I'll try to make a run for it again?"

Katniss shakes her head, her lips quirking slightly in amusement. "They're more worried about you getting some kind of infection. The end of your leg's in bad shape, so they want to keep the prosthetic off for a while."

We're both quiet for a little while then. There's so much I want to ask, so much I need to know about what's been happening since the Arena exploded. Those first few days are a bit of a blur. I remember Katniss screaming my name and flying through the air with pieces of trees and clumps of dirt ricocheting against my body before I slammed into the ground. I was pretty sure I was dead when I saw the claw lowering down over me. The last thing I think I can clearly remember for a very long time is the too strong smell of roses and blood. After that it was all pain and confusion until they were feeding me lines to say to Caesar Flickerman. Words about rebellions and cease-fires that somehow involved Katniss.

"Well well well if it isn't the happy couple."

Haymitch sounds as surly as ever. It's good to know that there's at least one thing that can be counted on even with the rest of Panem crumbling down around us.

"There are still plenty of pointy things I can stab you with," Katniss informs him, her voice deceptively sweet even though I'm certain she's completely serious. "So if you have any liquids with you, it would be a good idea to leave now."

"Really, sweetheart, have a little faith," Haymitch chuckles as he walks further into the room. He stops near the end of my bed, gripping the edge. "Now that loverboy's out of danger, we figure that you'll start to remember about those odd little bodily functions like sleeping and eating."

"What do you want, Haymitch?" she asks instead, not rising to his bait. There's a small crease forming between her eyes. It fades a bit when I lift her hand to my lips and kiss her thumb again.

"Who says I want anything?"

Haymitch is lying, but whatever the real reason for his visit, he's not saying. He and Katniss exchange inconsequential barbs for a few minutes until Haymitch hears whatever it is he's been waiting for. The way he's staring at both of us, there's obviously something he's trying to figure out and he must have found it. What it is, I don't know, and I don't really care. Not yet, anyway.

"Enjoy the quiet while you can," Haymitch calls over his shoulders as he strolls back out of the room. "You can't hide away forever."

I stare at the closed door for several long minutes after Haymitch leaves, not quite sure what to make about the whole exchange. There's still a lot that I don't know. Things that I hope to find out once my head's no longer quite so fuzzy and I don't have difficulty staying awake for more than ten minutes.

"You should get some rest," Katniss murmurs, squeezing my hand briefly.

I shake my head, trying to deny my need to sleep, but a yawn forces its way past my jaws. Katniss smiles fondly, her hand sliding down from my hair to cup my cheek. Her thumb smoothes lightly just under my eye and I turn my head so I can catch the heel of her palm with my lips.

"You should sleep, too."

Katniss starts to shake her head. "I'm fine. The drug Haymitch gave me knocked me out for a few hours and—"

"Please?"

"I don't want to leave," Katniss protests, pursing her lips once she realizes what she just admitted to.

I shrug and start to shift to the far side of my hospital bed. There are bars up this time to make it harder for me to roll out. "So don't. There's enough room for both of us."

Katniss is hesitant. She glances at the door a few times before lifting the edge of the blanket and carefully climbing into the bed. She moves slowly, very aware of every movement. I want to tell her that it doesn't matter, that I can stand a few moments of pain if it means I get to hold her again. So far she's the one who's been holding me and I'm desperate to have her in my arms again.

"I missed you," I whisper into her hair as she settles her head on my shoulder. "I dreamed about you every time I fell asleep, but it wasn't the same."

"Most of my dreams were nightmares," Katniss admits, her voice trembling against my collarbone. "Especially after the second interview. When you warned us about the bombs... I really thought he'd kill you after that."

I kiss her forehead and hug her more tightly against my side. I want to promise her that Snow won't hurt us anymore, but we'd both know it would be a lie. That as long as this war is going on none of us is safe. Not us, her mother, Prim, Gale, or anyone else. Katniss told me about my family when we were on the hovercraft and even though I'll miss them for the rest of my life, at least they're safe from Snow and whatever's coming.

Katniss' fingers ghosting along my side is threatening to lull me into sleep and I'm not ready for that to happen yet. I want to stay awake for a little bit longer just in case I am actually dreaming all of this. In case this is just a hallucination caused by that too blue liquid I remember from earlier.

"You're here. Real or not real?" I ask, struggling to swallow another yawn.

Katniss shuffles about, lifting herself up on one elbow. She smiles softly, lightly stroking my shoulder and chest with her free hand. "Real."

"We're not in the Capitol. Real or not real?"

"Real." Her eyes are starting to look a bit glassy, but she's still smiling.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

Katniss leans forward, fitting her lips to mine. The kiss is soft and fills me with warmth all the way to the tips of my toes. I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her tight against my side.

"Real," she breathes against my lips. I can feel the shape of her smile as she kisses me again. "Very real."