If anybody's wondering, Edward will be making an appearance shortly.

I'm really sorry about the spelling mistakes in the last chapter. I was in a hurry.

Enjoy! XD

BPOV

This was very scary. I mean really, Charlie wanted to talk? I wondered what I had done as I sat on the chair opposite him. He had a grim expression on his face as if he didn't want to say what was on his mind. Here we go…

"Bella, you know I love you and I don't want to distress you. You also know that I'm not good with words, so I'm gonna come out and just say it."

I decided to play the innocent victim because at the back of my mind I had an idea where this was going. "What are you talking about?" I asked, my voice dripping with innocence.

"Bella, bear in mind that I always want the best for you. This will hurt a lot." he said, taking a deep breath. Fear bubbled up in my stomache as I thought of where this was going.

"This will sound really harsh but I have to. Bells, why are you doing this to yourself? It wasn't your fault. I need you to understand that sweetheart. Why are you beating yourself up? It was an accident Bells. Accidents happen and we've got to learn to deal with that."

Oh. My. God. He didn't just do that. He knew this topic was out bounds

"You don't want to talk about it but we have to. It was in his fate. You cannot alter the ways of anybody's fortune. It wasn't your fault. IT WASN'T. I know he was close to you, probably closer than I can imagine. He was always there for you. We all miss him. If you bottle up, then that bottle is gonna explode. Talk to me about it." Said Charlie, pleading for me talk to him. I had been frozen all this time but his words were like a trigger.

Without any warning, I exploded. Everything I had kept in now erupted out of me like fireworks.

"I know alright?! I know! But don't you see? Can't you see the monster I am? I helped fate kill him. So it was my fault!" I was screaming now, letting everything out. Somewhere along my rage I stood up. Tears streamed down my face in guilt, self-hatred and in pain."I was so impatient. So I called him and told him to hurry up. So he hurried…and crashed because he always listened to me, always. Look where it fucking got him now! HE'S DEAD!!! You really expect me to live with that knowledge? I'll always live with the guilt! Always! How can I forgive myself? Tell me Charlie… how?" my voice had gone all quiet and the dams burst.

I sobbed at the truth of these words and collapsed on Charlie's lap. So this is why I was in this state, because I didn't open up.

Throughout my little speech Charlie looked at me sadly, tears forming in his eyes. He had never seen me so vulnerable before, so hurt, guilty and confused. I cried out every ounce of grief I had kept within my being. When I calmed down, Charlie said the words that literally changed my life.

"Did you ever think about how Jake would feel if he saw you know? Would he want you to be like this? So miserable?," he said quietly."How would you feel if things were the other way around and you were dead while he was alive? What would you want him to be like?"

My answer was immediate, without any doubt.

'I would want him to be happy. Yes, at the beginning he could be sad because grief helps you recover but later, he should be happy. I would want him to move on and enjoy life for the both of us. To live as though my memory was sacred instead of a horror of his past.'

'Exactly my point. He would want the same for you. Believe me he would.' Said Charlie, stroking my hair, 'which is why I would like you to consider moving to Phoenix and living with your mother '

I looked up, aghast." You're joking." I said, not believing a word.

' No actually I'm not. You should seriously move away from here for awhile. It will help you recover.'

"But what about you? "

He laughed heartily."Me? Why I'll just become the old grandpa I should be."

"Da-ad!" I whined like a child.

Again he laughed at my behavior but then became serious.' Bella, honey, the only thing that matters right now is you getting better.' when I tried to interrupt he stopped me. 'It's the best way dear.'

I stopped and thought about it. He was right; I had to make a change. And I would,no matter what.

"Ok dad. I'll move in with Mom"

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