T E N

"I don't even know who you are anymore!"

This doesn't feel right.

Lilly's kissing him, her lips moving over his in strange and amazing ways, but Oliver can't get over the fact that she's Lilly, not Miley, and kissing Lilly just doesn't feel right anymore. Miley is different, so, so different; her lips taste like strawberries and she's just intoxicating, smothering. Lilly reminds him of cinnamon; spicy and sweet at the same time, like autumn, or something. It's just different.

Better, he thinks, kissing Miley is better. He pulls away abruptly, Lilly's eyes scrunch up and she asks what's wrong.

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling well. I'll, um, I'll see you later," he mumbles as he all but runs away.

---

Two days later, he's with Lilly at one of Miley's concerts.

She's onstage, belting out the chorus to her latest hit, and he keeps thinking about her. Keeps picturing that night, the way she looked, layed out before him in the moonlight. And her hair, he keeps thinking about how pretty her hair was; chestnut brown, twisted in his fingers, pretty, pretty, not blonde -

"Oliver?"

What is he doing? Standing here like some sort of freak with his eyes closed, thinking about a girl who isn't even his girlfriend.

"Yeah. Yeah?"

What?

"Are you okay?" Lilly asks, her eyes showing concern.

"I'm fine. Yeah just thinking about... things."

Lilly opens her mouth to speak, but at that moment Miley jogs off the stage, her face stretched into a big smile. He loves seeing her like this, sweaty, alive, beautiful; he loses himself when she's like this, and -

"That was amazing, Miles."

He snaps back to reality, and what the fuck is wrong with him? Seriously, does he have ADD or something?

"Thanks," she smiles, "The crowd was really on tonight."

Lilly smiles and Oliver does his best not to look like a spaz. He's a mess.

"I was thinking about maybe going out; I'm just so amped. What d'you guys think?"

"Uhh, I don't know..."

"Oh, come on, Lil! It'll be fun! Oliver wants to go, right, Oliver?"

She turns her eyes on him, and he almost stutters, but he somehow manages to sound like a normal human being.

"Yeah, I'm totally up for it."

"See? Please, Lilly." Cue the puppy dog face.

"Fine, fine. Let's go."

He doesn't know if this is going to be a good or bad thing.

---

Bad.

Definitely bad, he decides as he watches Miley spin circles around him. She's captured the whole room's attention, her hips swaying and her hair flipping all over the place. Lilly's talking to someone about something, he can't even remember, and he's left watching the girl of his dreams drop it like it's hot.

He doesn't think she's trying to make his life hell, but she's still doing it all the same.

She does a body roll, and he resists the urge to touch her, just touch her, that's all he wants to do, put his hands on her hips and feel the rhythm that's beating through her body -

Oliver, get a grip!, he mentally screams at himself. This can't happen, okay, Oliver? This cannot happen.

He turns around, walks away as fast as he can, and when he sees Lilly staring at him from across the room, he doesn't slow down.

---

are you ok? why did you leave?

It's just a text message, he tells himself, don't get too excited.

i'm fine just don't feel well

He wants to tell her that he can't stop thinking about her, that everything he does comes back to that night and it's driving him fucking crazy. Why isn't she thinking about it? Why isn't it freaking her out? Why isn't she - does she even care?

He groans, rolls over in his bed.

He can't take this. This is just. Bad. This is bad. And everything revolves around Miley, it makes him shake; that's how bad he wants her. That's how much it sucks, and he's starting to think that if he had the chance, he would take it all back, because he had no idea that it would be like this.

---

"Oliver? Oliver, you haven't answered any of my calls, so open the fucking door!"

Lilly's voice is not a pleasant thing to hear this early in the morning. It's - he looks at his clock - 8 am! Seriously? She can yell all she wants, he's just going to pretend that he's not home; she can't prove anything.

"Oliver! I know you're home! Your car is in the driveway you idiot!"

Shit. He stumbles tiredly to the door, rubbing his eyes and trying to wish her away.

"Hey, Lil - "

"Don't 'hey Lil' me!" She screeches, hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry?"

She shoves him, stomps in through the space that he left behind.

"You bailed last night. You looked right at me, and then you just kept walking."

She stops pacing, turns to glare at him.

"What's going on, Oliver?"

He scrambles for an explanation, and he has nothing, but it's not like he can just tell her the truth, so he goes with:

"I wasn't feeling well, I'm sor - "

"No, no, don't tell me that. Tell me the truth." Her eyes are staring straight into his, and he never asked for this, okay? He just wants to go back, because the feelings that are breaking him apart, yeah, they are too complicated and they hurt too much and he just wants that old simplicity back.

"That is the truth, Lilly."

Oh God, is she going to cry? What the fuck?

"No, it's not."

"Lilly, what are you - "

"Just shut up! Shut. Up. You're lying, Oliver! You're standing there, lying to my face."

He wants to say something, but he can't -

"I don't even know who you are anymore."

Ouch, he thinks, but I can't - she doesn't really want to know the truth because it would tear her world apart.

"I'm sorry," he says, it sounds hollow and she barks out a bitter laugh that scares him a little.

"Whatever. We're done, okay? Later, Oliver."

And she leaves, just walks out of his life.

Oliver Oken just lost the best thing that ever happened to him, and that other girl, yeah, he's still hoping that she'll give him the time of day.

yeah, that kinda sucked too. sorry. oh, I'm super-excited for the next one! maybe you'll like it, and hopefully this wasn't too disappointing :)