Chapter three: kiss me like a hysterical joke

Marshall blinked at her question. She wanted him to do what?

"Huh?"

"I haven't really experience normal kisses with FP because he was literally always on fire, and I haven't experienced sexy kisses either. Could you maybe show me since you're the one who's explaining things to me?" She asked again.

"You…you want me to kiss you?" He stammered. She blushed and looked down at the couch.

"Uh, yeah, if you wouldn't mind," she muttered. Marshall thought for a moment, she was literally asking him to kiss her. Was this some kind of prank?

"You want me to kiss you? Me. The Vampire King. Killer of the night. Heir to the night o'sphere, and son of a demon. You want me to kiss you?" He questioned.

"I trust you, okay? If you don't want to just say so. Don't rub it in." That caught him by surprise. Fionna trusted him. Like, fully trusted him. Trusted him enough to kiss her and not end up fucking her brains out.

"I never said I didn't want to," he said. Her eyes snapped up to his from the red material underneath them. "I was just making sure you know who you're asking to do this," he smirked and moved himself to face her.

"Of course I know who I'm asking, I've known you for years," she reminded him. He chuckled.

"I'm aware, but sometimes you forget just how dangerous I really am," he pointed out. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, you couldn't hurt me if you tried," she sassed crossing her arms. A flirtatious smile spread across his pale face, and she remembered her request and blushed.

"Hold still, buns, I don't wanna accidentally cut you," he said showing off his fangs and cupping the sides of her face. He could feel her pulse under her fingers and his smile got 30% flirtier. Fionna took a deep breath as he leaned forward coming closer, and closer, and closer to her mouth. She could feel his cool breath on her cheek as he tilted his head and hovered his lips over hers. Her heart felt like it was about to explode, her body stiff as a board as he grinned.

"Bunny, relax. This is the normal kiss," he assured her, smoothing his thumb under her cheek bone.

"I know…you're just really…close," she murmured, closing her eyes.

"I kinda have to be if you want me to kiss you," he told her.

"No duh, Marshall," she snarked.

He laughed and finally brushed his lips against hers. She inhaled sharply at the contact, and completely stiffened again. His lips were softer than she imagined, and the kiss was sweeter than anything she's ever tasted. As soon her body started to relax and lean in to him he pulled away a smiled at her.

"See? That wasn't too bad," he said and patted her shoulder. She giggled nervously.

"Yeah, I guess it wasn't bad at all," she smiled. His smile widened in response when it suddenly turned back to flirty. She watched his eyes turn from warm and happy to misty and alluring right in front of her.

"Now for the other one," he whispered seductively and roughly pulled her closer.

She squeaked once his lips returned over hers, his hand was on her lower back and pushed her body against his. This time his lips did more than simply press against hers. Instead he kneaded them, pressing shortly yet roughly and making her melt in his arms. Fionna let her eyes roll back as he continued. He got more and more aggressive to the point where he clamped her bottom lip between his teeth and ran his tough over it. Fi couldn't feel her brain, but could feel everything in her body. His kisses made her warm and her heart race, his hand on her back made her want to be closer to him, and his tongue pushed for a different sensation. She moaned shortly as he explored her mouth and held her tighter. He grinned at the noise and pulled away to look down at the panting girl in front of him.

"And that was a 'sexy' kiss," he said letting go of her waist and scooting back to his spot on the couch. Fionna blinked in shock as he smiled at her. It was a smug smile, and she didn't like it. She frowned an shook away her surprise, wiping the spit from her mouth and clearing her throat.

"Meh," was her response. Marshall raised a brow.

"Meh?" He questioned. She shrugged.

"I dunno, it just wasn't that exciting," she lied. He gave her an are-you-serious look and turned himself back to face her.

"I dunno if you noticed, sweetheart, but I made you moan just by kissing you," he reminded her.

"So? I seriously doubt that was the best you could do." He leaned forward to intimidate her, his stare hard as he place a hand on her knee.

"Baby, you couldn't handle my best," he snarked. Fionna appeared to be unfazed by his suggestive remark, but it excited her more than any chance at adventure.

"Try me," she said stubbornly and crossing her arms.

She looked him square in the eyes and smiled slightly. Marshall held her stare, gripping her knee tightly and keeping his hand still. He knew what she was waiting for, and he knew she was doing this on purpose. She was lying, and it was insanely convincing. If it hadn't been for that small moan he would've been completely convinced. As she continued to wait for him to kiss her again he started laughing, letting his head hang and his shoulders shake with his laughter. Fionna's smile disappeared and he took his hand away from her leg, starting to laugh louder. Why is he laughing so hard? Was it something she said? Did she do something she didn't realize she did?

"Marshall?" She spoke. He threw his head back and fell against the armrest, howling with laughter and clutching his stomach. Okay, now she was more annoyed than concerned. "Marshall, cut it out. What are you laughing at?" She demanded to know putting her hands on her hips.

"I almost believed you! Oh my glob, I was so ready to prove you wrong!" He snickered.

"Huh?" Now she was down right confused.

"Damn, you're a pretty good liar, but I seriously doubt you thought that was 'meh'. I mean, you've never made out with someone before so how would you know? Next time you'll have to try harder to damage my ego," he laughed and sat up. Fionna frowned as he ruffled his hair back in to place.

"I…" she paused. Judging from how hard he laughed about almost kissing her again, he really didn't…

"I think I have to go now…it's getting late and Cake might be worried."

…so she decided to drop it.

"Late? It's barely three o'clock," he told her.

"Yeah, I mean it's getting close to dinner and she might be making something. I better go see," she explained.

"Okay, do you want me to walk you home?" He asked.

"Uh no, I'm fine," she said getting up off the couch.

"Okay, and Fionna?"

"Yeah?"

"If you have any other questions about that stuff, be sure to ask me about it." She nodded.

"Got it."

"Cake! I'm home!" Fionna called as she arrived at the tree house. Cake was no where to be seen, and some of the furniture was toppled over. What happened? "Hello?"

"Fionna!" She heard Cake hiss and looked up to see her falling from to ceiling feet first.

"What the-Cake!" Fionna braced herself and covered her face with her arms as Cake landed on top of her and scrambled to her head.

"Are you alright, baby cakes? You've been at the malicious little vampires house for hours!" She mewed, sounding as if she'd been panicking ever since Fionna left. The blond sighed and pried her sister from her head.

"I'm fine, and Marsh ain't malicious," and he wasn't little either.

"He's evil, Fi! I saw him picking on the candy folks the other day!"

"He always does that, and it's not like he's eating them or killing them. He's just scaring them," Fionna defended him. She didn't know why she was, but she was.

"But still! He always looks at me like I'm his next meal, and the way he looks at you ain't any better," she shivered at the image of the vampires piercing red eyes staring in to her.

"He does not…wait, how does he look at me?" Fionna asked.

"It's terrible! He's a real piece of work. He always looks you up and down as if you're made of vampire food. He's got this look in his eyes as if he's ready to tackle you and eat you at any moment. It gives me nightmares," Cake describe, completely unaware of how Fionna imagined it. Marshall has totally been checking her out…and he was more than willing to kiss her today.

"Oh."

"And when he thinks you're not looking he totally stares at your butt! I don't know why. Maybe he ate someone's butt once and always wanted to do it again. That's nasty." Fionna blushed at this information. When he kissed her the second time, his hand was fairly low.

"Does he stare at it for a long time, or like a long long time?" Fi asked.

"A long long time, I always get nervous when you hang out with him alone. Who knows what he'll try," she growled the last part. Fionna laughed nervously.

"Oh, he's harmless, I promise. Anyways, what's with the mess?"

"Oh, I heard you open the door and thought he might've walked you home, so I kinda freaked out and clung to the ceiling," she told her. Fionna laughed.

"You really are a scary cat."

"I am not!" Cake argued. "I just don't trust that no good vampire."

"Whatever, he didn't come," Fionna assured her.

"Good, the further away he is the more comfortable I am."

"Uh, are you planning dinner soon?" She asked.

"Yeah, I was in the middle of defrosting some meat for meatloaf. Your favorite!" Cake said gleefully and returned to the kitchen counter.

"Awesome, I'm gonna go take a bath. Will it still be an hour or so?"

"About 53 minutes, yeah. Why you taking a bath though? You don't look dirty," Cake then leaned forward and sniffed her, "you don't smell dirty either."

"O-oh, I just feel kinda icky. Marshall forgot to clean his house today so I feel kinda muggy," she lied.

"That stupid vampire! Evil and messy! I don't know why you hang out with that grease ball." Fionna giggled at her hysterical sister.

"Whatever, Cake. I'll see you when I'm clean."

"Okay, have fun!"