Hiroshi

Something is going to happen. I can feel it. I've had a lot of nightmares lately. Of course, it's to be expected, because I just got out of that hellhole, but I've stopped having those dreams about the monster chasing me already. Last time, it took me months to stop having them. I think my brain moved on after that Christmas afternoon with Kazuya. A lot of things changed that day, but now I feel like all what I had lost after that afternoon is back. Positive or Negative? I don't know. To come back to the nightmares, I still have them, but they are different. I've had similar ones two other times in my life: a few days before my first time in the mansion and a few days before my second time there. I doubt I'll be a third time in this hellhole, but maybe something's going to happen.

It's weird for me to say that. As a sophomore, I would have been the first one to say it was merely a coincidence, but now I'm starting to believe in this stuff. You see, the first time I had that dream, I was actually running away from something with Takeshi, and I was in an exaggeratedly huge house. We were approximately the size of a mouse, if I remember well. Then, I dreamed of Mika walking limply around corridors and I was running away from her. The night before the mansion, Takuro and I were walking in some woods, talking about something I don't quite remember, but I think it was about the demon. I just remember the last thing he said before I woke up. He had turned toward me.

"You know I won't make it, right?" he had asked.

I had similar ones before my second time. They mostly involved Kazuya and I being bullied (I even began to think it was happening in real life until he assured me they hadn't touched us… yet.) At the last night, I dreamed of this mansion. Kazuya was trying to avoid me and go somewhere else (but people I know usually are pure assholes in my normal dreams, anyway). I kept running after him and asking him to wait for me, but he continued forward in an endless corridor. That's when I saw the demon running our way. He continued walking forward, as if there wasn't anything. I pleaded him to go back with me, but he only turned toward me and used that word: Insane. He said it directly to me. You're fucking insane. He got to learn he can't use this word around me. Let's say I know he's really mad when he uses it, especially when used against me (which happened, like, once or twice).

To come back to the present day, there are two dreams that marked me recently. Well, they happened two nights ago and last night, actually. It was around four in the morning when I woke up from both of them. I didn't get any sleep after them. My body didn't want to, and my mind thought I didn't deserve it either. Personally, I think it's a good thing. Sleep is the worst form of rest I've had since the mansion. I'd rest better with three cups of coffee. So, in the dream I had two nights ago, I was lying down in a tight box-like space and except for my eyes and mouth, my body wasn't obeying me. I was in a wide room (at least I think so) with timber braces at the ceiling. Now, it wouldn't have been so creepy if it wasn't of those crows staring down at me. It felt like they were going to attack me in a second, but it also seemed they were guarding me. Each time I closed my eyes (I didn't blink, but I did close my eyes a lot) the scenery slightly changed. The first time, the crows were holding doll heads in their mouth. I recognized all the seven heads. Takeshi, Mika, both of the Takuros, and the three others in Takuro's gang.

Then I closed my eyes again and the room was coated with blood. I could see it dripping and falling around me. One of the drops fell on my wrist and another one on my neck. I closed my eyes again and found corpses hanging from the ceiling, the crows flying around them. They had thick ropes around their neck and swayed slowly back and forth. Any… normal person would have been creeped out by this, but I only felt like… crying. The corpses looked like human-sized faceless fabric dolls, but I wanted to cry badly as if I had been forced to hang real people.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was back in the "normal" room with the crows looking down at me and I didn't want to cry anymore. Then I saw him. Kazuya was leaned on the box with one hand, covering his mouth with the other. He was weeping, looking down at me. One of the crows flew away from the timber braces and landed on him, then a second one, a third one, and I somehow knew what they were about to do. I yelled at Kazuya to go away, but he didn't seem to hear me. The birds dug their beaks into his back, but he was still staying there, staring at me, blood flowing from under his hand.

That's when I realized I had been lying in a coffin all along.

The other dream I had was even worse in my opinion. It's that type of dream that can make you start to seriously wonder who you really are; if that good person really is what lies deep inside, if it's more than a shield, a mask, or a cover. It began as a "normal" dream, if I can identify them as normal. I was in the mansion with Kazuya: In that hallway with wardrobes, to be exact. We were searching in them to find a key or something. Well, Kazuya was holding the flashlight, so he did the searching. I was mostly standing behind to yank him away if I saw anything, I guess. We were looking in the last one when something gripped Kazuya's arm and pulled him inside. I reached out, but I was way too slow. The door closed before I could do anything.

The first scream.

That's what paralyzed me. No matter how I tried, I couldn't take a step forward or a step back. I was frozen in place, unable to make a move. Even my eyes refused to obey me and kept staring at the closed door. I could hear the weapon going in and out of Kazuya's flesh. He was screaming, pleading for the person to stop. I was pleading too inside, I wanted him to stop hurting my friend, but I couldn't do anything to help. Kazuya's cries soon turned into coughs and hacks. He wasn't even pleading anymore, I could barely hear a faint stop between some stabbing noises and his loud raspy breath. After a while, he was just crying. I remember the words that passed through my mind at that moment. The more I think about them, the more terrifying they are to me.

Come on! Just die already!

I wanted him to die. I didn't have the tone of a boy who couldn't take the noises anymore; I had the tone of a killer waiting for his victim to drown. Just when I told myself this, the stabbing stopped, and Kazuya let out a last faint moan. Silence. The door slowly opened and I immediately recognized the person. Me: the sophomore with white hair and glasses. He had blood stains on his face, hair, and clothes and his hands were coated with red. He looked directly at me with emotionless eyes, as if waiting for something. My mouth finally obeyed me, but I was so shocked that it took me a moment before I actually said something.

"You killed him…" I whispered out.

"You're going to blame me again?" My other self answered. "You think I'm the bad guy, right?"

He pointed the opened wardrobe.

"That's what you wanted. You asked for it. You enjoyed it. We're the same. We've always been," he took a step closer. "I have the dirty job, so you're blaming it all on me. But this…"

He turned away and put his arm in the wardrobe.

"Don't…" I whispered.

"This is our work. You choose, you want, we do."

He dragged Kazuya out by the hair. I barely recognized my friend; his skin was mostly red and both of his eyes were missing. Actually, I couldn't. I just knew it was him.

"It's our work," kept repeating the sophomore.

He said it a bit louder each time. I denied it at first, but then I fell silent for a moment and I joined in. I closed my eyes and I found myself stabbing Kazuya's dead body repeatedly.

It's our work!
Do it!
Again! Again!
You deserve it!
I'll never stop!
I love it!
I love it!
I LOVE IT!
I LOVE IT!

I woke up with a start. It took me about ten second before I started crying. I don't know why I was crying; I didn't even remember my dream back then. I felt like I was the only person left in this world. The last person, it was a monster. The last one who deserved to stay. I couldn't stop myself; I was uncontrollably sobbing and I'm pretty sure there was a wet spot on the top of my covers, right under my face.

I keep thinking of that dream. How I acted, what I said. It's me. It's not. I'm not so sure anymore. Who am I really? Could I have been somehow out-of-character in this dream? I've always acted as myself in any other dream. Might sound stupid, but writing is hard at the moment. I keep making pauses. It's like if it's not even worth writing anymore; it's useless to try, it won't lead to anything.

You know what? Maybe I am insane. Yes, let's put something straight here. I'm totally insane and I talk to myself as if we were two inside. Just look at me writing we just there. Who'd be the second one? Sophomore version of me? Takuro? Takeshi? The demon? Maybe even a Vocaloid member, who the fuck knows? I'm not even laughing. What's funny? Why am I saying this as if it was supposed to be funny? Maybe because I'm a schizophrenic lunatic with a fucking piece of paper as a friend dreaming about murdering the guy in the other bedroom with the said-voice-guy-thing who's supposed to be a past version of me.

This is just fucked up

Pop! A wild chapter appeared!

I tried to give that effect at the last line... You know when you write and you just write in big fat letters and underline them 'cause you're pissed/mad/*insert other feeling relative to this*. Did it work? I ain't too sure...

I should be making more during the summer, but I'm gonna have even more work than I already have (It already started -_-)
Anyway, it was Friday night, I had written some parts when I had a couple of free minutes, and I had a big-ass exam today, I deserved a bit of writing.

I wanted to post something on the sixth of May, because it would have been exactly a year since I posted the 7th chapter of Saving my blood by sacrificing it (it's pretty much the only date I remember) I read it, and I noticed how I improved in one year... and damn Kazuya was cute. XD

Anon, I know I have the habit to repeat some words a lot (I used random way too much), I really have to get rid of this, I have to work it out :3 Thanks for the mistake shout-out, too, I learned something (but maybe I forgot while writing, I read the chapter a couple of times, but tell me if I skipped)
I know some things might be... um... weird or something in the chapters (Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm writing a letter and not a Hunger Games-like inside dialogue XD)
Yay! I made someone happy :) I hope this little confidence will be enough for you to start an account :D I'd love to interact more than author notes ;)
Don't worry, I had the same laziness problem not so long ago, it's hard to get rid of it when school drains ALL you frigging energy. Yup, I think I'm legit to say school killed me inside. I'm just a ghost wandering in my brain now :p
Don't worry with the account, you can understand most of the stuff while browsing in the options, the guides will do the rest!

So, please leave a review, and I'll see you next chapter