A/N: MH here. Here's the third chapter of 'It's A Matter of Convenience!!!

By the way: I can guarantee you right here and now that Ed will not have a pairing with any OC in this story. EDWIN FOREVER!!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist. If I did, I'd make Ed wield a PLASTIC SWORD instead of automail. XD XD XD XD XD XD XD. Beat that, Soluna!!!!

(Soluna: That was low, Maiwyn. Just to let all of you readers know, we are both mentally stable. We're just having a bit of a disclaimer war here. Nothing to worry about.)

(Chapter Three)

Roy looked over the papers scattered over his desk once more. "One more thing." Rhina and Edward stopped in their tracks.

"I'm officially naming FullMetal the assignment leader."

"What!?" Rhina exclaimed, incredulous. "You can't give Major Shrimp authority over me!"

"WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSMALLHECAN'TBECALLEDANASSIGNMENTLEADERCUZHE'SSOTINYHE'DBESQUISHEDBYTHEOPPOSITIONINTWOSECONDS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Ed screamed, steam billowing out of his ears (translation: Who are you calling so small he can't be called an assignment leader cuz he's so tiny he'd be squished by the opposition in two seconds!?)

Roy rolled his coal black eyes in annoyance. "Comparing your judgment with Edward's, his reasoning is much more polished than yours… which says something about your own logic that needs help." He explained casually, smirking at the now steamed Lt. Colonel.

"I'm only one rank lower than you, Uncle!! ONE!!! I'm clearly the one better suited to be the head of this assignment-"

"Uncle, huh?" Ed smirked mischievously (the last time Rhina referred to Roy as 'uncle' was when the height-challenged alchemist was ranting, and so was not paying attention). "Seems that nepotism doesn't affect you, Colonel."

"Actually, I chose you because you're not usually drinking gallons of brain-muddling coffee." Mustang replied. "If not for that, I would have chose Rhina in an instant." Now Edward was the one fuming mad alongside Rhina.

"I've got not time for useless bickering. Just go. The faster you finish this assignment, the better." Roy waved them out of the office.

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The next day, Ed and Rhina (Al had been forbidden by Mustang from coming) boarded the train that the Colonel had scheduled for them to go on.

So, to be honest, Ed had no idea whatsoever where they were going. The blond alchemist dropped into the bench, sighing. Rhina sat across from him, a determined frown on her face as she drank her beloved coffee. Edward looked out the window, bored out of his mind.

Almost minutes later it seemed, Rhina started talking.

"So you're called 'FullMetal', huh? How come? Why d'you have such a short fuse? Why're you so short? Don't you drink milk?" Ed decided to ignore all the questions, but the last two questions pricked his ears.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Ed exclaimed, his face suddenly bright red.

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"So um… where are we, 'leader'?" Rhina asked sarcastically, crossing her arms.

Edward's eyebrow twitched, it was the fifth time the Lt. Colonel had asked the question, making for a very angered Edward Elric.

"For…the…last…time…I…don't…know…" Edward growled, gnashing his teeth together.

"Oh, well you could've just said that the first time."

"I did say that the first time!!"

"Whatever."

The two state alchemists were interrupted in the middle of their conversation by a scrap of paper thrust into Edward's hand by a suspicious looking man in a long coat, his eyes hooded. Ed could make out a bit of spiky blond hair peeking out of the hat he wore.

"Um…" Ed murmured, looking at the small folded scrap with puzzlement.

"Just open it!!" Rhina exclaimed in exasperation. Edward unfolded the paper.

'Jasper is in the forest to the far west.' It said simply, not giving any other directions.

"…Well, since this is the only lead we have, I'm guessing… WEST!" Rhina yelled in her coffee-induced hyper period. Ed quickly shut her up with a whack on her head courtesy of his automail arm.

"Shut up, or you'll give us away!" Ed hissed, "What if the organization has spies set up at the station?"

"I'm sure I can beat em' to a pulp."

"… You drink too much coffee."

"So they tell me."

"This is pathetic!"

"Yeah, you are."

"Not me, this conversation!!"

"Really? I was under the impression that you were bashing yourself."

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Two hours later, after heated argument, Ed and Rhina had finally caught a cab to go west (after paying 7000 sens). Their ride dropped them off around fourteen miles from their destination.

Edward and Rhina picked up their small suitcases and started trudging forward through the lush and treacherous forest.

After what seemed like days of walking (even though it had been four hours), a building appeared just barely visible through the thick green. An hour later, Edward and Rhina reached the fortress. It was composed almost entirely of granite, though most of the walls were covered in vines and other types of greenery.

"…Geez, just put a sign here that says 'J.A.S.P.E.R Organization building', will ya?" Ed mumbled, staring at the headquarters, complete with armed guards, attack dogs, and ominous music.

Before Rhina could jump into a fight, Ed grabbed her by the back of her collar and jerked her back behind the wall of vegetation they were hiding behind.

"Don't be stupid." Ed growled.

"But-"

The two state alchemists were interrupted by a sudden hail of bullets soaring past Edward's ear.

"Hey! I think there's someone peeking behind the trees!" One of the guards shouted.

"Well, looks like we've been found out!" Rhina said happily, placing her hand on the ground and immediately transmuted a length of silk from the rocks on the forest floor. The Lt. Colonel dove straight into the fortress's guards, and the sound of punching and kicking was soon heard.

Edward abandoned all sense of order and logic and dove straight into battle as well. Five minutes later, 20 guards, 5 attack dogs, and an orchestra were knocked out by the formidable pair.

"Okay, now that that's done…"

"INTO THE FORTRESS!!!!" Rhina yelled, zooming into the fortress.

"Hey, wait a minute- Argh!" Edward groaned and followed his partner into the headquarters.

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MH: Well!? Waddya think?????

…Soluna, beat that!!!! Just kidding.

Just in case, if anyone missed the authoress' note at the top, Ed won't be paired with any OCs in this fic, kay?