Disclaimer: I do not own bleach

Thank you to all those people who have reviewed, you guys make me so big headed :-) 3

Duties

I'm making food right now. I ended up making everything I think he would like because our conversation went like this:

"Ichigo I'm hungry?"

"You got two legs and two arms."

"I want you to cook it as my wife."

"Last time I checked I have a dick, I cannot be a girl."

"You wanna bet?"

"No, I could pull it out and after you suck it we can come to a consensus."

I started floating.

"Da, fuck!"

"What are you cooking?"

"Put me the fuck down!"

"Either my lap or those spikes under where you are floating."

I looked down; there are pointy spikes on the floor. I swear one just shined at me or winked or …how the fuck did they get there in the first place? They started getting closer; I touch the tip of one which as soon as I touched it drew blood.

"We grind cows on them or threw them, they are so sharp, and do you wanna play a game with them?"

"Grimmjow what the fuck do you want to eat?"

"The blood on your finger will suffice."

"Cook able asshole."

"Your finger"

"Food wise"

"Your finger"

"Something that is an animal."

"You're technically an animal."

"Not human!"

"I don't know, surprise me and you better not be wrong!"

He dropped me abruptly and I freaked thinking that the spikes were going to turn me into a human piece of cheese with too many holes but I fell on the hard floor. I looked at Grimmjow who was smirking menacingly.

Now I was cooking everything from chicken wings to devil's food cake. I really don't know what the fuck that bastard eats, for all I know he may eat his own foot and then watch it grow back. Okay he may not eat his self but I am so tired and I wish he would because it would serves for two things. He will no longer be hungry and then I will enjoy his pain as he does it.

I just finished cooking for 3 days straight. He's been eating everything that I cooked. I'm mentally taking notes on the things it takes him a shorter time to eat and the ones he picks up first. That is so I do not have to do this again. I turned around and put the last dish on the somehow growing table. Looking at it I felt proud of myself and now I was going to head into the living room and …..

"Hey babe, I want you to bathe me!"

"Oh hell naw, Ichigo ain't got time for this. I just got through cooking for a starving village." Protested Ichigo.

"Yeah it was great, now I want bubbles climbing up the wall and I want you to use the green brush because the bristles are harder."

"I'm taking a damn nap!"

"Yeah after you clean the living room, it has food in it."

"That you put there."

"But you're the one who cooked it, let's not play the blame game and clean this kitchen up will ya."

I looked at Grimmjow dumbfounded. He just smiled at me with his nail in between his teeth as a toothpick. He just turned around and scratched his head and left. I breathed out hard and run my fingers through my hair. He was trying to kill me.

The kitchen

" Fucking Grimmjow, he thinks he's the devil's son but I'm going show him real torture. I'm going to dip his cock in tar and then put chicken feathers on him and then I'm going to throw acid on that. Then I'm going to give him a STD bath and then I'm going to boil him until his skin comes off and then I'm going to use it as lamp skin. Then I'm going to take his tongue and feed it to the three-headed dog outside, so he can't scream when I do what I'm going to do next. I'm going to take his toenails off one at a time and then glue them on his eyelashes and then take the skin on his back and glue it to his front. Then I'm going to skin his nuts and then-"

"Wow, bra you love me way too much. We're just married, that's all."

"Ya damn fucker! You are not supposed to be in here!"

The Living Room

"How the fucks do you get macaroni on the ceiling and I think that is ice cream beside it."

"I'm sure that isn't ice cream, try jack off record."

"You mean?" I said pointing at it

"Yup, I say it should stay there for at least a week"

This motherfucker jacked off and wanted to leave his cum on the fucking ceiling beside macaroni! How the fuck do you even go that high? Second how the fuck do you…. you know what, I'm just going to stop asking how for a while.

"Oh, yeah and don't touch the one on the lamp, the TV, and the door."

"Who the fuck do you think you are, the amazing ejaculating Spiderman!? You are not a damn machine gun! Hell no! I'm cleaning it all up and if you even think about doing this again, I'm cutting your nuts off!"

"You could do that but they will only just grow back!"

"UGH!"

The bath

"I want you to use your hands now."

"Grimmjow let me scrub your legs so I can go."

"You forgot my priv-"

"No I didn't I am not scrubbing your nuts."

"I said use your hands."

"Fuck this."

I got up to leave and he laughed. The door closed just as I touched the door knob. I tried it and it was in fact locked.

"You're not leaving until I'm clean."

"I can't even touch the water; you can bowl ramen noodles instantly with that."

"You could have made that instead of all that food."

"Turn your ass over; it's time for Ichigo to whoop some ass. I'm tried of this shit!"

"Ooh didn't know you were kinky, you're a sadist also?"

I turned around and kicked the door as hard as I could because I was mad and I actually broke it down. Grimmjow for the moment in a first time was not laughing at me. He was surprised.

"Feisty huh?"

I turned and left.

In the Bed

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZ kill Grimmjow zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z okay i wish that was the truth but it turns out i didn't get any sleep. the guy from hell has made sure of that. i'mma tell you what happened...

A/N Nope can't because i haven't thought of it yet. :-) thanks R&R xoxoxoxoxox