I'm a Whole New Person
It's been a five months since Tori's email. Ever since then I have been jumpy, like at any
moment someone could point at me and tell me I'm dangerous.
What she said didn't make since. I was not dangerous. I couldn't hurt anybody, so why do
people think I could. It's been bothering me for the last months. I am glad I am more than
halfway done with the wait. It's been the most awful time waiting for Tori to explain herself.
At school all we have been doing is going over each of the different factions, so we don't
walk in there totally unprepared. I have been paying close attention to Dauntless.
It's a very interesting faction. It seems like all the academics are physical. They train you to be
strong, and to be fierce. Those are two things I am not. They also train you to be fearless, which
I thought was impossible. I don't exactly know what my fears are, but I'm sure I will never be
completely fearless. That might be a problem. I am determined to learn all of these things in my
Dauntless life, so people treat me like a real Dauntless. I'm hoping it comes naturally for me, so
I don't have to keep pretending I'm something I'm not.
These last few months I have been trying less and less to hide the fact that I am not
made for Abnegation. I just don't get the point if everyone already knows, to hide the fact.
I have hidden it for my whole life and covered the secrets with a girl that was born to be
Abnegation. The only thing people didn't know was there was someone beneath that girl, in
hiding, and now she is ready to come out. That girl just happens to be me.
I don't think anyone has seen the real me, besides Tobias. He knows that I'm not made
for Abnegation by the way I get mad so easily. I hate to admit that he of all people knows the real
me, but it's true. This month, everybody is starting to get to know the real me, and it feels great.
I feel like I can finally let loose without being scolded, because they already know I'm not
Abnegation. I tend to smile more and just seem more genuinely happy.
I just can't wait until I'm out of this place and in Dauntless.
The only thing I'll miss are my parents, but I know they will always love me. Plus, I will visit them
once I'm a member to the faction community. I just want these last weeks to fly by, so before I
know it I'm at Dauntless, in a new country.
Tomorrow is the choosing ceremony, and my parents confronted me.
They told me they knew I wouldn't stay, and how they are okay with it.
For some reason that hurt, because it was like they were willing to give me up, but I knew they
meant it in a nice way. But I have to keep reminding myself that despite my parent's feelings,
mine matter more at this moment. I need to do what's best for me, so I am content for the rest of
my life. I get ready for tomorrow before I go to bed. I pick out fancier clothes than I would usually
wear, since the leaders of all the factions would be there. The choosing ceremony is held in
Abnegation, since our faction is the leader of the overall faction system.
It's not like Abnegation leaders make all the decisions, more just keep everything in line.
I pick out something that looks Dauntless with a side of fancy. It's black leather pants
that are tight, with a crop top that rides right on my belly button. It's a loose fitting crop top with
lace trimmings along the hem of the shirt. I will wear my black combat boots along with it, just to
add to that Dauntless theme. I never put time into my outfits, but in this case I feel it's needed.
I don't think I'll be able to get to sleep tonight, because of the fact that my whole body is
practically shaking with excitement. When mom saw me, she couldn't help herself.
She burst out in laughter. She knows, definitely. She knows I'm not staying with her, but I know
that she's happy for me. I lay in bed with my thoughts, finally drifting to sleep.
"Beatrice, wake up. You have three hours until choosing ceremony. I suggest getting up
and preparing yourself." mom proposes, shaking me awake. I nod my head and get out of bed
with a groan. Her words settle in and my eyes grow wide, along with my smile.
Three hours until choosing ceremony. I shake my head and the tiredness that was there a few
moments ago is replaced with anxiety and excitement. I'll be a completely new person in just
three hours. I take my time with getting myself ready. I brush my hair, eat breakfast, and throw
on my clothes. I examine myself in the mirror. I look Dauntless. I will easily fit in.
I slip on my combat boots and walk downstairs. I glance up at the clock. One and a half hours.
One and a half hours until I am a new person, with a new beginning. Clean slate. My parent's
me a questioning look, then look at each other.
"Hon, your mother and I would like to talk to you about something," dad tells me.
I hum as an answer.
"We are happy that you are going to go to Dauntless, really. It's just, when you are dressing up
Like you have already left, it hurts. You do know you are still our daughter, and right now you are
still Abnegation." dad explains. I can't help it. My jaw drops open, but I quickly close it.
Along with my jaw, so does my heart. How could I be so selfish, and play my parent's feelings
like that?
"Mom, dad. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you felt that way, and I have been acting so selfish. I just
wanted to, um, dress like Dauntless, so I would fit in." I mutter, immediately ashamed of myself.
They shake their heads in unison and apologize, but I quickly shut them down. They shouldn't
apologize, I should. I don't change, since I do have a reason for wearing the things I am.
I do act like their daughter though, hugging them and telling them I love them. It might be the last
time for a few years. We take a bus down to the choosing ceremony, held in a huge stadium,
which used to be used for sports. It can fit all the factions, so it was the ideal place to hold the
ceremony. Once we arrive, we split into our factions. I wish the ceremony wasn't held in
Abnegation, just so I would have an excuse to travel. We walk in and sit where advised. Mom
and dad both have their arm around me, smiling proud. Soon enough, the whole stadium quiets.
Marcus, Tobias' father and the leader of Abnegation begins speaking. He talks to us about how
Important it is to have a happy life, and how college affects that greatly. I tune him out, because
I've heard this speech many times before. Since dad is a leader as well, he has to attend these
every year, and I gladly go with him. It's kind of like tradition, and I enjoy it. I get to see the
different factions, and their personalities. Sometimes I even get to talk to them, but it's rare.
Arbitrarily, Marcus stops and looks me. I must have been really out of it, because he's already
started to call names, and he has just called mine. Mom whispers for me to go, and I stand up.
I get up to the stage, and see the five different factions in a hologram. I've always liked the way
they transitioned you from a child to an adult. A member of the faction system. They make a
hologram of you, and then you tap on the hologram faction you are interested in. There, your
hologram breaks into a million tiny pieces, and floats into the desired faction.
I walk up to the stage and watch as my hologram is made. I can see Tobias staring me down,
eyes never looking away. I ignore it and look at my parents. They are smiling at me
encouragingly. Even though I've had my mind set on Dauntless this whole time, I'm still not
sure I'm making the right decision.
My hologram is made, and I'm in awe how impressive it is. Marcus gestures towards the
factions and tells me to choose. I take a deep breath in, and then tap on Dauntless. There are
gasps coming from Dauntless, probably surprised a Stiff is joining them, but that's about it.
Abnegation isn't surprised, because they know what I'm truly capable of. I see my parent's and
go numb. I just left them. A few months ago I told them I would never do what Caleb did, but is
this worse. Their only child is gone, and I've never felt more guilty in my life. My body is shaking
uncontrolably, and there is no way I can stop it. I walk over to the Dauntless section, and
collapse into my chair. I get pats on the shoulders and cheers, but don't acknowledge them.
I made the right choice.
Before I know it, the ceremony is over. I hear whoops and cheers coming from Dauntless, and I
join them. I smile and realize I will finally visit another country. The Dauntless begin to sprint out
the building, and I know I need to follow them.
"Hey Beatrice!" I hear from my side. I am panting at this moment but manage to get a glimpse of
him.
Tobias.
I gasp. I had no idea. "Can I ever get away from you?" I complain.
Tobias laughs and gives me a cocky grin and I scowl. I try to run ahead of him but he's too fast.
I look at Tobias, and realized that he is built like a Dauntless. He's got muscle, he's tall and
broad. Me, on the other hand, is the opposite. But hopefully looks don't matter.
"Do you know where we're going?" I ask him.
"Yeah because I've totally done this before." Tobias answers sarcastically. I roll my eyes.
"Whatever," I mutter. I hear him laughing beside me and I plant a playful punch on his shoulder.
"Can I call you Tris?" Tobias asks me after a while.
"Why not. Can I call you Toby?" I ask, but immediately feel like it doesn't suit him.
He looks at me with a "what the hell kind of name is that" face. I laugh and then continue thinking.
"You can call me Four. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think it's a badass name,
so yeah. Four." he tells me. I nod. Four does suit him more than Toby.
"Fine. I say we start over, because that's what we are doing anyways. Nice to meet you Four,
I'm Tris." I say, extending my hand. Four shakes his head and laughs.
"That's a lovely name, Tris. I wonder who thought of that." he says stupidly. I glare at him, then
giggle. I like Four way better than Tobias. We finally stop, and I realize we are at the train station.
Well, not at it, on the other side. Then it all clicks together in my mind. We are going to a different
country. We can't just drive there. We need a faster form of transportation. Also, the train runs
under water, so we can get from one body of land to the other. I hear the train coming, and soon
it's in front of me. It is slow, but not completely stopped yet. I look over at the Dauntless
members and realize they are jumping on the train. My jaw drops.
"Are they expecting us to do that?" I ask Four, who doesn't look as shocked as I do.
All he does is nod, then hauls himself onto the moving train. I run to catch up to his car, and
then hoist myself up with my arms. They are burning from the strain I put on them. I glance up to
see Four smirking at me, and my cheeks get hot. I am so weak for a Dauntless. I glare at him
and sit against the wall, across from him. He gets up and sits next to me. I am exhausted, even
though I have barely done any physical activity. I lay my head down on Four's shoulders and
,thankfully, he didn't protest. I could feel his body bobbing up and down from the train. I don't
sleep, I just sat there for a while.
After what seemed like hours, we finally heard yelling. When I looked outside, I could see
the sun was starting to set. I looked outside the window of the train, and saw people jumping out
of the train, and onto a platform. The doors in our car was closed, and I was unsure how to open
them. I stepped back and let the Dauntless members figure it out. By the time we started
jumping out, we were reaching the end of the platform. I began to panick and saw Four has
already jumped. I took a deep breath, and jumped. I hit the ground hard, and I skinned my elbow.
I winced in pain and I saw Four above me, offering me a hand. I gladly took it, and got up. So far,
the first day in Dauntless was hard as hell.
"Initiates. That's what you are called now. You are trying to pass college here. If you don't pass,
you will be kicked out of Dauntless. We will grade you with numbers. Along with academics,
physical activity is the number one thing you will learn in Dauntless. You will learn to be strong.
You will also learn how to be brave. Now, to show me you are brave, jump off this roof." an older
man says from the ledge.
I gasp when he orders us to jump off the roof. Was he serious? I glanced at Four, who looked
as pale as sunscreen. I gave him a reassuring smile, but it didn't help.
"Who wants to go first?" the man asks.
Everyone looks around and, not offering to do it. I decide to suck it up and go ahead.
"Me." I shout, raising my hand. The man smirks at me and laughs to himself. Probably because I'm a Stiff.
"Really? Are you sure you're brave enough?" the man taunts me. I glare at him and step to the
edge of roof. I look down, and I am unable to see anything. I let out a shaky breath. I can't do
this, I tell myself.
"I'll go with her." Four says from behind me. I quickly turn around to look at Four. What was he thinking.
"Aw, do the Stiff's need some moral support?" the man teases. This time we both glare at him.
Before he can say anything else, I grab Four's hand and jump, bringing him with me. I can't
manage to scream, with the rush of air cutting off my vocal chords. It seemed like a never
ending fall. I hit something stretchy, that caught me and kept me from falling to my death. I let
out a hysterical laugh, the adrenaline rushing through me like electricity. I glance at Four and he
looks like he has just saw a ghost. I look around to realize I'm surrounded by net. I shimmy my
way towards the edge, and fall to the ground with a loud thump. There's a man above me,
smirking down at me.
"What's your name?" he asks me, sounding bored.
"Uh, Tris." I answer him. He looks up at Four and asks him the same question.
"First jumpers, Four and Tris!" he exclaims.
"I hope you know that's the first time anyone has ever jumped in a pair. Eric is gonna be pissed, so prepare yourself," the man says. "Also, I'm Brian."
Four and I nod and smile at each other. We were the first jumpers.
A/N
Please let me know if you want me to continue like it is in Divergent, or change it up. I need ideas. Review what you think, and also tell me if this is easy to read. I am really trying my best to make it easier to read, but I don't know if it's working. TrueDivergent and Wrenlovesreading, your advice is really helpful, thank you! Also I know I said I will post every Tuesay, but I really love writing this so I couldn't wait. Lol.