Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters.
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"Okay?"

Please let me have heard right, Seth prayed. For a second the look on Ty's face screamed no. He had even frowned when he looked at him. That had been answer enough for Seth. He had stood up to leave because his heart couldn't take hearing Ty say no. But then Seth's prayers had been answered when he heard him say okay.

"Okay." Trowa repeated.

Thank you, Seth said silently just before he gave him a brief kiss.

"I already want you so badly. Anything deeper and I won't want to stop." Seth said explaining the kiss. "I refuse to get arrested on the same day we get engaged so let's head to the hotel."

Trowa smirked at him as they gathered their things and headed toward the hotel. He knew that Seth was afraid that he had been going to say no. Truthfully, just before he did agree he thought about saying no. And once he did agree he questioned his sanity for doing so. So many questions had flown through his mind. Did he want this level of commitment? Was he ready? And if he was, did he want to marry Seth? Did he love him enough to? But all of those questions were forgotten when he asked himself why shouldn't he say yes. There really wasn't any reason for him not to. He had dealt with his commitment issues. And because of it was already committed to Seth. Trowa cared for him, lived with him, slept with him, and was starting a business with him. Why not marry him?

Quatre, his mind reminded him. You still love him.

Trowa mentally sighed. It all came back to the blonde in the end, even when it shouldn't. They were over and there was no going back. As for still loving him... Trowa had already acknowledged that he still loved Quatre. A large part of him always would. But not only had he acknowledged, he had accepted that they were over. Hell, they never even really began. What he and Quatre had was a sexual fling that got out of hand.

It was more than that and you know it, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Quatre's said.

Trowa ignored it because what it was or wasn't didn't matter anymore. Bottom line was Trowa left and Quatre got married. That had severed all ties between them. And if the rumors were true, Quatre and his wife were soon to have children. That, more than anything else, signaled the end of what was or could ever be between them. Quatre would never leave his child. And frankly he wouldn't be the person Trowa had loved if he did. Trowa's thoughts were interrupted when he felt himself being pushed up against a wall. He looked at Seth who was smirking.

"That's one way to get your attention. You zoned out on me again. You okay?"

He looked around and realized that they were now in the hotel room. He had really spaced out to not notice.

"Just thinking."

"I gave you a lot to think about today didn't I?"

Trowa answered by nodding his head. Seth sighed and stepped back slightly.

"I didn't plan today with the intention of asking you to marry me."

"I know."

"You didn't really have any time to think before you agreed. So if you feel like I backed you into a corner..." he started. "If you need more time to think it over or just want to say no, just tell me. I told you from the beginning that I'd wait. You're worth it."

A deep sense of quilt came over Trowa. Never before had he realized how uneven his relationship with Seth was. Seth gave his whole self to their relationship while Trowa had one foot out the door. And the fact that Seth seemed to know this made Trowa feel worse. He had even given him an out of the engagement. All he had to do was take him up on his offer and he'd be free. The question was, did he want to take it. Surprisingly, Trowa didn't need to think about it.

"No."

"No, what?" Seth asked, a chill going down his spine.

Trowa suddenly reversed their positions. He began to unbutton Seth's shirt.

"No, I don't need time to think some more and no I don't want to say no." he explained. "I really meant it when I agreed. I'm not going to change my mind. Unless you want to."

"No."

"I didn't think so. Now let's drop this subject and get back to celebrating."

"Sounds good to me. Here's to the engagement of Seth Hill and Tyler Marsh."

Seth pulled Trowa closer and kissed him. Trowa paused briefly before he responded. That one statement reminded Trowa that he had forgotten one huge fact. Seth still didn't know the truth about him. While Trowa had no problem lying about things he didn't want to marry Seth while withholding an enormous chunk of his life. But telling the truth would lead to much bigger troubles and questions. His whole damn life was either a lie or should be kept secret. So how much truth would he tell? Even telling the bare facts could led to questions he didn't want to or couldn't answer. Was he really ready to talk about his past as a mercenary, Preventor, or Gundam pilot? Okay, scratch the last one. Talk about being a Gundam pilot was definitely off limits. For their safety and those around them, he and the other pilots agreed that the less people who knew they were pilots, the better. And was he really ready to talk about the things he did as a mercenary or how he became a Preventor at such a young age? And what about his name being Trowa Barton and at the same time not? How did he think he was going to explain why he lied in the first place? Trowa's thoughts were interrupted when Seth bit his neck. Damn it, that has always been his spot so he couldn't help the slight groan that came out in response. It made him realize that he had better things to focus on. The lies, the proposal, feelings he did or didn't have, Quatre, the fact that today was the day that they had ended. Trowa hadn't forgotten about it. Due to another mistake on the part of the guy he paid to forge his papers, it was also his "birthday". He had just shoved it out of his mind, and with everything else that had gone on today, it had been easy. All of that could be dealt with later. Right now Trowa was going to push everything out of his mind and enjoy being with Seth.

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Just a few more hours and this day will finally be over, Quatre thought as he opened the front door for his wife. They had just spent the last few hours having dinner with one of Quatre's sisters. While he loved spending time with his family, there were times when they were just too much. Like today when Quatre just wanted to be alone. He locked up and followed Liliana up to their bedroom.

"The girls looked so cute in their matching dresses." she said.

Quatre nodded his head and quickly walked into his huge dressing room to change clothes. This way he didn't have to look at Lilliana. She had that look on her face again. The one that screamed her desire for kids. It was never a secret that Lilliana, Lily as her friends called her, had wanted kids. But after a long talk, Quatre had persuaded... manipulated he quickly amended... her to agree to wait five years before they started trying.

I just want you to have something for yourself... Travel, live a little... Don't you want to be known as more than Quatre Winner's wife or mother of his children?

Quatre flinched as he remembered parts of that conversation. He really had been an unfair bastard. Playing with her like that. But lately, he saw the longing look on her face every time she saw mothers with their children or babies. It didn't help that after catching Lily buy a present for a pregnant friend, the tabloids kept announcing that they were expecting. Even though their five years weren't up, Quatre knew that it was only a matter of time before she started bringing up wanting children. Somehow he doubted pushing her to think only of herself and indulging her ever whim and hobby to the fullest was going to work anymore. And trying to avoid having sex with her wasn't even an option. Quatre was already having the least amount of sex with her to keep her from getting suspicious. The sad thing about it all was that he wasn't against having children. He just didn't want Lily to have any. If she had his child... Quatre paused.

...it would be harder to get rid of her if Trowa came back, a his own mocking voice finished for him.

It was a cruel thing to think but unfortunately it was true. He would give up his marriage if Trowa came back. Wouldn't people love to know that the sweet angelic Quatre Winner was actually a selfish bastard? Because he most certainly was, especially when it came to Trowa. But not even for Trowa would he leave his child. The scent of sweet smelling perfume alerted Quatre to the fact that Lily had walked up behind him. She wrapped her arms around him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

She had been talking about throwing one of his niece's a birthday party when she noticed that he hadn't been paying any attention to her. To her frustration it wasn't the first time. Lately he had been extremely distracted. When she asked he told her that it was a business deal he was working on, but something told her that wasn't the truth. Especially today he seemed so withdrawn, not talking or smiling or acting like he usually did.

"I think I may be coming down with something."

And the lies keep rolling off of his tongue.

"Well, go lay down while I go make you some tea."

"I can get it myself."

"I was going to make myself some so you don't need to go."

Lily gave him a brief kiss and left. Quatre sighed and sat down on the bench in his dressing room. He felt sick alright. Sick of the lies, of the manipulating, of the waiting. It had been three years since Trowa left. At this point, Quatre doubted he was coming back. He needed to acknowledge it, deal with it and move on. It was time to stop devoting his time to Trowa and place it where it belong. Lily. Out of everyone involved she was the one most wronged. She never asked for a fiance that willingly engaged in a one night that quickly turned into a long time affair. A wave of guilt rolled through Quatre at the thought of her waiting to marry him while he never really gave her any thought. He'd visit her every now and then to get to know her but otherwise, he was too busy with his relationship with Trowa. While they may have denied it, that was exactly what they had. A lot of what they did, like living together, spending time together, sharing things, and sleeping together, could be explained away by the whole friends with benefits thing. But it was the smaller things that came along with it that changed everything. Like more often than not sharing a bedroom even though they had their own, spending time together even if it was just sitting in total silence, sharing their pasts and hopes for the future, intimately touching each other and sharing a bed even when they didn't plan to have sex. They were so incredibly stupid and blind to what they really had. But then Quatre had to show Trowa that damned invitation. That had successfully ended it all, three years ago today to be precise. So much had happened then.

You are cordially invited...wedding...Miss Lilliana Elizabeth Harlin to Quatre Raberba Winner.

Is there really anything worth saying? This isn't a shock to us. We both came into this knowing that it wasn't meant to last.

We can't do this. It's time to end it for good.
Trowa, I love you.
Don't say that to me. You don't love me Quatre. And I don't love you.

He left.
Excuse me?
Trowa's gone.

Can I come in?
Quatre, this isn't a good time.
We need to talk.
I'm not alone.

I now pronounce you husband and wife... Please give a hand for Mr. and Mrs. Quatre Winner.

Quatre ran his hand through hair and tugged slightly. There was no use to rehash any of that. It was in the past and there wasn't anything he could do to change it. No more, he thought. I'm tired.

"Then go to bed if you're tired." Lily said as she walked in.

He looked at her with a "did I just say that out loud" look and she nodded her head yes. She sat down the tea tray that she was carrying and grabbed his hand.

"I'll deal with the tea later. Come on, let's get to bed."

Quatre didn't put up any argument as she led him to the bed. She got in the bed beside him and began to slowly rub his temples.

"This is called resting. You need to stop working so hard and do this more often." she said.

He couldn't help but to smile. No matter how many times he told her not to, she always worried about him.

"It's not so bad is it?"

Quatre shook his head no and actually meant it. No, lying there next to her wasn't so bad. It was at this second that he realized that it was time to let go. Trowa was his past and dwelling in it wasn't making him happy. In fact, it was dragging him down. From this day forth, Trowa was in the past. Lily was going to be his future. He would learn to love Lily like a wife and be happy with her. It wasn't going to be easy because he loved Trowa more than anything and being with him was only thing that made him truly happy. But he forfeited all of that when he made his choice to marry Lily. Time to live with it and make the most of it. And if Trowa ever came back...

"Stop whatever you're thinking." Lily told him. "It's not so important that it can't wait until you feel better. Go to sleep."

If only you knew. Although, a goodnight sleep might be exactly what he needs. Tomorrow he would start a new part of his life. A Trowa free life. Quatre just nodded his head in agreement and closed his eyes.

Goodbye Trowa. Whatever you're doing, I hope you're happy. I just wish it could've been with me.