Okay so I was listening to the Beach Boys and Britney Spears doing this so this should be pretty interesting… Oh and Part 1 of 2.

Buford rubbed tiredly at his eyes as he walked down the stairs clad in his black board shorts and black tank top that showed off his well muscled arms, chest and back, cell phone and keys in his hands. Last night had been a disaster. Not only did he seem like as ass (which quite frankly he really could care less) but it seemed like Bartholomew and Baljeet were getting really close. Not a good sign. Buford also felt betrayed last night. Baljeet didn't believe him. Him. The guy that has been his bully and friend for all these years. Instead he picks to be neutral and leave the party. And Bartholomew was pissed at him for forcing Baljeet to leave (though once again Buford could care less) but still, a pissed off Bartholomew was not a safe Bartholomew. Buford turned into the kitchen to see his mother finishing up on some fried eggs on toast for him. "'Morning son." She greeted him as she set his plate before him as well as a glass of orange juice and as he placed his phone and keys down.

"'Morning ma." Buford greeted back as he picked up one to the two slices of toast and took a big chunk out of it. His mom hummed to herself as she started to pick up around the kitchen and Buford ate in silence. Soon he reached the center of the fried egg and the center oozed out and started to fall down the side of his hand. He lapped up the egg yolk periodically as he finished his first slice. Before taking a large swig of orange juice Buford looked around and noticed that the house was quiet. Too quiet. "Where's Bartholomew?" Buford asked setting his drink down and picking up the last piece of toast. "Don't tell me college boy's still sleepin'."

Biffany shook her head. "He left about an hour ago."

"Where?" Buford asked with his mouth full before, with his free hand, he took the orange juice and took a few gulps of the juice.

"He didn't say. But he said that most likely he'll be around town trying to find some of his old friends."

Buford scoffed and shoved the rest of his toast in his mouth. "Friends?" He asked with his mouth full once more. "Who would want to be friends with 'im?"

"Buford, don't talk with your mouth full." She scolded him. "And Bart is a nice and kind person—"Buford scoffed again and rolled his eyes and he downed the remainder of his juice. "—and he treats all of his friends well."

"Yeah, 'cept for when he thinks of you as an ant he can torture." Buford grumbled.

"Buford, don't speak about your cousin that way. He wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Then you, mother, don't know 'im like you think you do." Buford said as he stood to walk to the sink and wash his hands and plate. "I'm leavin'." Buford simply said when he was done. He picked up his things and started to walk off.

"Buford!" Biffany called after him. "When do you think you'll be home?"

"Later!" Buford yelled back, closing the front door behind him.

The beach was as crowded as ever. Since summer just started people were starting to flock to the shores to spend most of their summer sunbathing and surfing in the ocean. Others were fancier. They're taking trips to other places, exotic places, to go to the beaches there, either way a beach is a beach and the Danville Beach was no exception. Buford pulled his truck onto the beach and drove down the beach looking for a whole bunch of cars. Last night he received a text from Guillermo with the information for a beach party. The whole thing was going to last well into the night, ending with a major bonfire. Buford eventually spotted Guillermo's silver Mercedes M-Class, which was really his parents' car but they have their own Mercedes that they use. Buford parked next to the crossover in a spot that was an unspoken claim for him. Buford turned off his truck and jumped out of it and locked it with the keypad before walking over to the open area with all of the football players and their girlfriends. Guillermo, wearing nothing but his red and white board shorts, spotted him and rushed towards his friend. "Hola mi amigo!" Guillermo shouted excitedly. "You got my text!"

"What'd you'd expect? I wouldn't miss a beach party thrown by the team."

Guillermo shook his friend's shoulders and led him towards the large dancing and partying group. "Yeah, you wouldn't miss a party but you missed the celebratory football last night." It was like a tradition for the football team to play a game of football on the last day of school to celebrate.

Buford shrugged. "I went to another party."

"The Flynn-Fletcher's?" Buford nodded and Guillermo shrugged in result. "I bet it was awesome."

"It would have been." Buford mumbled.

"What'd you say?" Guillermo asked.

"Nothing."

"Right. Anyways check this—"

"Buford!" Krysta called out as she left her fellow cheerleader friends and walked over to the two of them wearing a revealing white bikini. "There's our quarterback. We missed you at the game last night. Willie here had to take over your spot."

Buford shrugged once more. "I had other plans, whatdya want from me?"

"Absolutely nothing." Krysta said. Buford raised a brow at her. She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Fine I lied. Get the unpopulars off the beach."

"Phineas and the others are here?" Buford heard himself ask.

"Yeah and they're pulling away some of the others. Get them out."

"Come on Krysta…" Guillermo drawled out slowly. "They're just having their own party down there. Maybe we should combine our parties to make one super party."

"No." Krysta said determinedly. "I am not hanging out with them."

Buford rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to—"He couldn't finish his sentence for soon a familiar voice ranged in his ears.

"Hey cuz."

Buford turned his head and his eyes collided with Bartholomew's. Buford's cousin wore blue board shorts and blue sandals and an obnoxious grin on his face. "Bartholomew." Buford greeted behind clenched teeth. "What're you doin' here?"

"I'm here with friends." Bartholomew replied pointing with his thumb behind him towards where, in the distance, was clearly another party, Phineas' and Ferb's party.

"Mom said you were hangin' out with old friends."

"No, your friends." Bartholomew said blankly.

Krysta looked at Bartholomew, her eyes running up and down the older Van Stomm's finely chiseled chest. Unlike Buford Bartholomew never was overweight and always worked out so his body was more defined than his younger cousin's. "So… You're Buford's cousin?"

Bartholomew looked at the blonde and smiled faintly. "And you're his girlfriend?"

"She's my girlfriend." Guillermo chimed in.

Bartholomew looked at the Spanish teen and nodded. "And what are you? Punter?"

"Running back." Guillermo answered, slightly annoyed.

"Hm…" Bartholomew sounded as he turned his head back to Buford. "You know cuz I'm glad I ran into you. Could you answer something for me?"

"No."

Bartholomew ignored him. "What would you say if I told you that I'm hanging out with Baljeet this weekend?"

Buford twitched slightly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Bartholomew shrugged. "It's just that you know him more than I and I was wondering if you could tell me what he likes I mean you're his friend aren't you?"

"I'm not telling you shit."

"Watch the damn language cuz." Bartholomew said grinning. "Fine. Don't tell me then. See you at home." Before leaving he glanced at Krysta and then Guillermo. "Bye slut, bye bigot." He said to them respectfully and walked away.

"What?" The couple sounded angrily.

"What did he just call me?" Krysta growled. "I am not a slut!"

Guillermo groaned. "What's his damn problem?"

Buford sighed. "That's Bartholomew alright." Though Buford had to hand it to his cousin, he was extremely good at reading people. Krysta was a slut. She probably had sex with almost every popular guy since she moved to Danville in the hopes to get popular and Guillermo was extremely self-orientated when it came to opinions, it's either his way or the highway. "I'll be right back." Buford said as he left the power couple of Danville High to fume. He followed Bartholomew's steps and walked towards the other beach party where there were more people. Buford looked around and stayed behind everything, hoping to blend into the background and of course, a big guy like him would never blend into the background.

"Hello Buford." Baljeet sounded from behind him. Buford spun around and saw the tiny Indian teen holding two drinks in his hands.

"…Nerd." Buford greeted flatly.

Baljeet refrained from rolling his eyes but sighed deeply. "Are you still angry from last night because I would not agree with you about your cousin? Really Buford, you really should not expect that I will agree with you for everything."

Buford's eyes narrowed. "You'd better agree with me nerd." He threatened. Though Buford did know that Baljeet wouldn't agree with him on everything. That much was clear when they were kids at the Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention.

"Well I will not agree with you on this Buford." Baljeet said with astoundingly no fear or worry whatsoever. "Not until I have the proof that Bartholomew is as bad as you say he is."

Buford scoffed. Typical. Baljeet would want some evidence. "Fine. You want proof? When Bartholomew and I were kids he—"

"Thanks Baljeet for the soda." Bartholomew said as he walked up and took one of the drinks from Baljeet. "Oh and cuz? We need to stop running into each other like this." Bartholomew said as he placed his arm around Buford's shoulders.

Buford shrugged the arm off and stepped away from Bartholomew and closer to Baljeet. "And you need to get the hell out of my life."

"Buford!" Baljeet and Bartholomew sounded. They chuckled softly and smiled at each other faintly before Bartholomew continued.

"You are one troubled little boy Buford, I think you need an appointment with Dr. Van Stomm."

"Like the hell I—"

"Oh yes he does!" Baljeet interrupted. Buford found himself staring at him for interrupting people was something the Indian teen hardly ever did. Baljeet looked at Buford, a grin on his face and Buford felt his insides twist for some strange reason and Buford couldn't understand why. "You should most definitely talk to your cousin! He is helping me and he will help you!"

Buford's jaw dropped slightly. "He's helpin' ya with what?"

Bartholomew walked to Baljeet and threw his arm over his shoulders. At first Buford felt anger but then the emotion changed into something that really tore at him when Baljeet looked down at the ground shyly, a noticeable blush spreading across his cheeks. "Nothing of importance yet." Bartholomew commented. "But soon, soon Baljeet here will finally be able to be himself."

Buford was no idiot. Buford could see exactly what Bartholomew meant, he could see it on Baljeet too. But what really pissed him off was what Bartholomew was sending out. "Fuck you Bartholomew."

Baljeet's head shot up, his eyes wide and Bartholomew raised a brow at his cousin, his face un-amused. "What is your problem? Really?"

"I get it. Baljeet thinks he's gay—"Baljeet eyes grew even bigger and stuttered out intelligently as Buford continued. "—But don't you dare lie to him."

Bartholomew sighed. "What exactly are you referring to?"

"I'm not stupid Bartholomew. You're tellin' him your gay aren't ya?"

Bartholomew scoffed. "Yeah I am." Buford opened his mouth but Bartholomew cut him off. "And before you say anything… I am gay alright? I know the last time you talked to me I was straight but that was nearly three years ago. A lot can happen."

Buford shook his head. "You're not gay. I know you Bartholomew, you have a—"

"You don't know me Buford."

"As you keep sayin' but no matter how many times you say it, it won't come true. This isn't the Wizard of Oz."

"What kind of reference is that?"

"It's—"

"I get it." Baljeet said at the same time Buford began to speak. "He is talking about the part where Dorothy clicked her heals together and she had to say 'There is no place like home' a few times to get back home."

Bartholomew smiled and nodded his head. "He got it."

Buford rolled his eyes in result. Guillermo and Krysta came up and stood beside Buford. "Amigo, ¿cuál es tú problema?"

"Nada Guillermo. Mi primo es simplemente ser difícil." Buford replied in Spanish.

"You know I do understand Spanish." Bartholomew said. "And French and a little bit of Italian. They're all pretty closely related to each other."

Guillermo, still pretty mad from Bartholomew's insult before glared at him. "Oh yeah? Understand this. Te desafío a una fiesta en la playa, cara a cara."

Bartholomew exhaled softly. "A Beach party face-off? I don't know… I'm not the one that makes that decision." Bartholomew then whistled extremely loud bringing the attention of the other party goers on the Phineas and Ferb side. "Yo Phineas! We're being challenged to a party face off! Get over here!"

Like moths to a flame Phineas, Ferb and the gang surrounded them, all clad in their own respective shorts and bikinis. "Cool. A face-off." Phineas commented grinning largely. "What are you going to do for it?"

"A dance off." Krysta said. "And singing."

Baljeet awkwardly clapped his hands together since he was still holding his own drink in one of his hands. "This is exciting! We have never really had a sudden song and dance number since we were children!"

"Wait you did this all the time?" Bartholomew asked glancing down at Baljeet.

"Yes, yes we did." Baljeet replied grinning.

Ferb nodded once. "And we used to say 'Where's Perry' every day."

"That reminds me…" Phineas drawled out slowly. All together the good old group of friends said "Where's Perry?"

Meanwhile Perry stood and put on his fedora as a bush came up and he jumped down into the pipe slide for yet another battle with Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Next chapter will be the actual face-off with an original song! I mean I would have put part 2 in this chapter but I needed to think up a song so… Yeah, bad planning on my part. Oh well. If you need translations tell me because I will provide them. PLEASE REVIEW!