NS: Man, I honestly can't remember all the plot I planned on cramming into this fic...and so I sit down to WRITE another chapter after, oh...I don't know, a year at least? And attempt a plot! ...w00t! xD So srsly guys...any help would be WONDERFUL. I do have a very thinly spread plot over the toast of ficdom, but other than that I'm blank. Ah well. I suppose less plot means less fic, meaning less work and THAT means I might finish the fic! Woo! Heh. Anyways, enjoy!

OMG! I DON'T OWN NARUTO! ...DUH. :)

Oh, and let it be known that all flames will be used to toast marshmallows. If you have a problem with yaoi, NaruSasu, Naruto in general, anime, language or the like...WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?! Ahem, that is all. 0:)

Start Date: oo...I forget...
Finish Date: 7/31/07

Chapter 3: Dull Ache

By the time I left that house, the sky was growing dimmer by the second, casting a long shadow from my form. I walked past a patch of white flowers that slowly opened their buds while echoing ravens called out in the distance. I heaved a sigh and ran a hand through my hair. There was something going on that I simply couldn't comprehend. They said Naruto was sick, that he wouldn't make it past Christmas. But none of the doctors knew how to make him better or ever what was wrong with him in the first place. So why weren't they trying to figure it out?! Why weren't they trying to stop whatever was happening to what was mentally still a little boy?

Then there was the other problem.

What was this feeling I had lately? Everytime I saw the little Dobe, sensations surged through me. It made my skin tingle. It made my stomach flutter. It made my head spin. It even made my heart ache. And I had no idea why. All of these symptoms began when I saw Naruto the previous day, asking Sakura out on my way to the bathroom.

No.

That's not right. These symptoms began far before that--back in the acadamy when someone had pushed him into me. Our lips collided and a jolt of electricity that began in my mouth shook my whole body. It pooled in my stomach and lower abdomen and a shudder tore through me from the inside out. I didn't know what it meant. I was a twelve-year-old boy who wasn't even sure what gender he preferred, if any at all. And although that should have been a good enough wake-up call me, it wasn't. I ignored it just like I ignored everything else.

I ignored it everytime Naruto asked Sakura out, everytime Hinata glanced nervously at him from across the room. During practice when Kakashi would get so very close to him, showing him new techniques. I tried so hard to ignore it all. But it was too much. All the touching when we sparred, the closeness I felt when his sweaty form hovered inches away from mine, the slightest touch of hand, the sideways glance and a crooked smile. It was everything, it was nothing, and no matter how hard I tried to deny it, no matter how long I was able to put it out of my mind, I finally realized it was time that I had to face it.

I was in love with Naruto.

That was the only explanation for it all. What else could it have been, afterall? I was jealous of everyone else that wanted him and everyone else that he wanted. I wanted him. I wanted to have him all for myself. But I never could. It wouldn't matter how hard I tried and it didn't matter that I desired him so much it ached, there was no way he would like me. After all the work of covering up what I always knew I felt. All the pain and humiliation I caused him. There was not enough time to make up for it. I had only until Christmas.

Christmas.

Never before has a single word made me cringe so deeply, hurt so badly, flinch so violently. Not even Itachi. And perhaps I could never make up for what would happen, or the way I had treated him, but I could try. And I would. I would put forth every ounce of spare energy to let him know that people care. That someone in this village did care about him, and that person was me.

I stopped dead in my tracks right where I stood and made that promise to myself. The promise that even if Naruto had to...die...he wouldn't do it alone. I started back up again and when I took a look around, I realized that I had not gone home. Lost in my thoughts, I had wandered down to my team's old training grounds. We still came back every now and again to spar, but...it really wasn't the same as it had once been. Nothing was.

My gaze turn skywards to the head of a huge wooden cylinder. There were two others just alike on either side of it, but those didn't matter, for it was the center pole that Naruto had once been tied to. Before I realized it, I was reaching out towards it with both hands, and my strong arms wrapped around the wood.

A rumbling gathered above me in the skies and I smiled, eyebrows turned upward, welcoming the warm embrace of rain clouds, falling to wipe away my tears.

Soaked and miserable, I hoped to find refuge somewhere in the part of the village that wouldn't be busy in such dark weather that had fallen so suddenly and so ominously over us. As suspected, I could count the number of people outside on both hands. The rain continued to beat at my back while I apathetically searched for some form of refuge. Somehow, I stumbled my way into an old tavern.

No one seemed to notice that I was far underage, or maybe they just didn't care. I kept my head down and skulked to the back, seating myself at an empty table. The lightbulb hanging above it had been forceably busted and bits of the white glass still lay in shattered fragments on the table.

There weren't many people in the place. There was the bartender, a burly man who looked like he had seen better days with his greasy, slicked-down hair and filthy clothes. Sitting at the bar was a man by himself who was clearly a ninja. He wasn't one I had seen before, but he wore the usual jounin attire and a leaf headband was tied at his left beltbucket where I could clearly make it out. There were dozens of shotglasses in various positions in front of him and one was in his hand. He looked as though he had certainly had enough, but no one bothered to cut him off.

A few seats away from him was a skantily dressed woman in black, strapy heels that cleared up her thigh. Long, blond hair fell in waves down her back and her lipstick was a shade or two darker than the red dress that barely covered her. A very annoyed expression highlighted her face as a drunken business man tried to get her to go home with him. It appeared as though she wasn't going anywhere with him.

The only other person in the place was a man with abnormally long tresses the color of dark blue--almost black. He sat at the piano, playing away at a sad, tinkly song that made me feel even more miserable. He looked to be the only other sober person in the bar, so after the song was finished, I walked over to him.

"Did you write that?" I asked in a voice that didn't feel like my own. He looked up at me and smiled, but didn't respond. I asked him again. MY eyebrows flew up when I saw him raise his hands and begin presenting symbols to me. I tensed, first believing that were handsigns for a ninjutsu. Then I realized it, it was sign language. "You're...mute?" I asked shakily. He nodded and tried the signs again. I held them still. "It won't do any good. I can't read any sign language. I'm sorry." He lowered his hands, but I made no move to take mine away. I sat beside him on the padded seat.

"So did you write that song?" I asked again, hoping for an answer. He nodded, shrugging his hands free, and picked up a sheet of music. I took it and scanned the song. It was called 'Sadness and Sorrow' by... Shizu Ichigawa. "Is that your name? Shizu?" He nodded again and set back to work on the music. I picked up a pen that was sitting by the stack of music and a black sheet. I scribbled on it, "My name is Sasuke." And I cursed myself for never learning any sign language.

The song was over in less than two minutes and I handed him the paper. He looked and me and mouthed the words, "I know." He smiled proudly and shifted through his music, picking one out and handing it to me. This one had lyrics. Wait...

"I thought you were mute?"

He nodded and mouthed, "I am."

"Then...how are you going to...?" He stopped me and took my hands, bringing them in a swinging motion from my mouth downwards. "What...does that mean?" He took the paper I had written my name on and wrote a single word, 'Sing'. "What?! No...I don't sing. I have a horrible voice..." Another smile from him and he took my hands and placed the paper in them, repeating the sing motion with his own hand. "I will, but only a little. And you can't tell anyone I did."

The truth was that I felt kind of bad for the boy. He wasn't any older than sixteen or seventeen and here he was, mute and playing piano in a tavern. The music started up and I had to admit that it sounded really good and only took me a moment to get the rhythem of it. He nodded at me when the lyrics started and I began,

"Atemonaku hitori samayoi arukitsuzuketa. Kasuka na toiki o tada shiroku somete. Utsuri kawari yuku kisetsu no sono hakanasa ni. Wake mo naku namida ga koboreta. Ima mo aishite iru..." I stumbled a bit before the next part played, but it was faster and I caught up quickly, "Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru. Zutto sora o miageteta. Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara. Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete."

The music slowed back down and he nodded again when the lyrics came back in, "Wakari aenakute nandomo kizutsuketeita. Sonna toki demo itsumo yasashikute. Fui ni watasareta yubiwa ni kizamareteita. Futari no yakusoku wa kanawanai mama ni. Ima mo oboeteiru..." I took a deep breath and prepared for the next stanza, but his fingers ceased their dance upon the keys and he let out a short sigh. I assumed it was over.

"You're really good. You have a great talent." The name of that song was apparently called, 'Last Song'. I stared quizically at the title, but brushed it off as nothing. It was a sad love song. It told about someone who only wanted to hold and love the person they had once been with again, but they were rejected and sent away. It worried me slightly that this smiling man would write something so sorrowful. The only two songs of his I had heard thus far were emotional and damn near tear-jerking.

I frowned. Shizu was gathering up his papers and pens in his arms. I assumed that meant he was leaving.

"Are you going home?" I asked stupidly. Shizu nodded with that same bright smile and waved to the bartender, who grunted in response. I glanced from the interior of the tavern to the door where Shizu was headed. After a moment of deliberation, I decided to follow him. I rested my hand on his shoulder. "Mind if I come with you?"

NS: Okay, I decided on a whim while WRITING today to make this fic longer and more interesting. I have a whole extra storyline ready to be typed, so there will be at least 10 chapters total, but I'm actually hoping for more like 15-20. That means It's going to be years before I finish (lol), but yeah. Who is this mysterious 'Shizu' and what is Sasuke's sudden interest in him? You shall see...

Hokai, Shizu Ichigawa is MY OWN character. PM me or email me to see a pic of him. However...the song, 'Sadness and Sorrow' is a background song on Naruto. I don't know who plays it, but there IS a piano version (I listened to it typing this) and that's what he was playing. The other song is called 'Last Song' and its by Gackt, a japanese rock band. I think that should be all. Ja!