iii. doppleganger

***

hello goodbye
I love you, I hate you
sunset, a light shower
a dear one, a total stranger

***

"Hello!" Nakuru chirped into the phone, her heart still pounding. "Hiiragizawa residence, Nakuru speaking!"

A voice grumbled in Japanese, "Get me Hiiragizawa-san, now, please."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Touya-kun!" she squealed, switching to Japanese, "I haven't talked to you since forever!"

"I don't have time for this, Akizuki-san-"

"Call me Nakuru!"

"-get me Hiiragizawa-san, now," he finished. His voice was a little rough, and, to Nakuru, it possessed an urgent quality. Had something happened?

Teasingly, she demanded, "First, tell me what you want."

"Akizuki-san!"

She twirled her finger around the telephone cord. "It's Nakuru, Touya-kun. Nakuru. Now tell me, or-"

"Or what?" he asked wearily.

"I don't know!" she giggled.

"Just get me Hiiragizawa-san, Nakuru! Now!"

"You called me Nakuru!" she laughed. "Now," her voice took on a whining quality, "tell me what it is."

"Give the phone to-"

"Eriol's not here." Nakuru stuck her feet onto a nearby ledge, twirling the ballpoint pen used for taking messages with her fingers. The feeling of voices whispering was still there. She tried to ignore it.

Attempt: unsuccessful.

They sounded like little girls voices: high-pitched, soft...they seemed familiar. What were they? White poplars were whispering trees, or something, weren't they? Maybe it was them...

Even in her mind that sounded stupid.

There was talking in the background of the phone. A soft, almost effeminate voice was arguing with Touya-kun...oh no. Nakuru groaned softly. It was Yukito, wasn't it?

She hated that boy. Yes, boy, her mind persisted in calling him. They were in collage (well, Nakuru wasn't...she had failed all her classes back in Japan and had been held back here in England...damn school system), and she called them boys. It didn't make sense. Nothing did, really.

When she was with Yukito, an annoyed feeling grew in her-it was even stronger then the one she had with Suppi. True sibling feelings, Eriol had mused, and Nakuru agreed. He was the older brother...or maybe a twin...it didn't really matter. She disliked him anyway.

Touya got back on the phone. "Yuki demands that I tell you what happened," he said gruffly, his voice crackling with anger.

"So, what?" Nakuru said playfully.

And he began to tell her.

***

hello, goodnight
crude, elegant
sunset, a stray cloud
a seed bed, a total stranger

Nakuru closed her eyes. Disappeared...how could it of happened?

Eriol was on the phone now, with Touya, his smooth voice glossing over any feelings of ill wishes. It had begun to rain, and the clouds felt heavy, bloated with water: a smothering blanket worse then wool.

He had told her that a few days ago, a week, actually, Tomoyo had either said or done something...They weren't sure what. Sakura had come home from school and locked herself in her room, and had called Syoaran immediately, talking on the phone with him for hours, racking up a huge phone bill...so Touya had shouted at her to get off the damn phone. Pouting sullenly, like the young teenage girl she was, she had come down to dinner. They ate, they went to bed.

The next morning, Touya walked up to her room, to wake her up; she was running late for school. Upon opening the door, he realized, there was no thirteen year old girl there...just rumpled and soiled pale pink sheets.

The radio was playing "Angel's Song", by Ayumi Hamasaki. As Touya stared at the dirty room, concave from Sakura's absence and the sudden lack of life, the song whispered:

I assured myself that I wasn't alone
running away into the night
when all was said and done, day by day,
all I was doing was making my loneliness more apparent.

Touya shouted down for his father to come upstairs.

***

I've seen it, desire controlled by the past tense,
I give up already, hurry and prove to me what's real.
I'll take away your pain.

The next day, a frantic phone call came to the Kinomoto residence. Sonomi, Tomoyo's mother, was crying, screaming: her darling girl was missing.

They couldn't believe it. They didn't want to belive it.

***

I've seen it,
love and hatred filled with a sense of beauty.

Tomoyo, too, had been running late. The night before, she had crawled into the house at midnight, tired and spent. Instead of analyzing her, Sonomi had allowed her daughter to go to bed.

Again, the next day, a maid had gone to wake up Tomoyo. The scene was all too familiar to Touya and Fujitaka. Horrified, they listened and nodded. It was the same.

Unsuspecting, the maid had found the bed unmade; however, Tomoyo's was neatly crumpled. Except, that is, for the sliver of dried and dirty blood underneath the pillow. Here, too, the radio was playing: "Keikoku" by Shiina Ringo:

The person I met this summer doesn't exist.
As it grew colder, I loved you without ever knowing you.
Its too late now, to say "It was all an act"
You cried through the reciever, but I'm the one who wants to cry.

***

"Does anyone know what happened?" Kaho asked at dinner, delicately nibbling a piece of roasted chicken.

Eriol shook his head. "They suspected foul play, but the authorities didn't think that it was very likely." He cut a green bean in half and absent-mindedly stared at it for a few minutes, pondering what had happened to Tomoyo and Sakura.

Nakuru sipped her tea. Suppi was on the floor, having fainted after woozily dancing about thanks to the strawberry shortcake Nakuru had stuffed into his mouth. Gently, she prodded him with her toe. He merely muttered something in Japanese (he always had preferred that language over English) and flopped over to his back, squashing those pretty blue wings of his.

She poked at her food once more, shoving it a little across her plate, but she knew she couldn't eat anymore. The congealed mass of fowl, and vegetables, and some strange red sauce that looked a little too much like blood for Nakuru's taste rested there as she tried to breathe without throwing up.

"Isn't this delicious, Nakuru-chan?" Kaho asked, turning to her with a warm smile on her face. "We all should be so appreciative of Eriol-kun for making this for us..."

To Nakuru's ears, the priestess' voice had grown to a dull roar, filling the room...Eriol, too, was smiling, but it looked so fake-like a clown, a jester...the room was spinning...

"Excuse me," she managed to get out as she rushed to the bathroom. Downstairs, Kaho and Eriol could hear the sound of her retching.

***

it went away,
the poltergeist that took so after myself,
I've already decided, to cause disaster and
haunt you.

I've given up, by all means show me
the way to heaven.

***

All my reviewers are so kind! Thank you so much! But, Drew--in the eternal words of Elly--"Find your happy place!"

Ryu Dragon of Light--I highly suggest visiting 'Lissa Explains It All' (www.lissaexplains.com) for all your HTML needs. She explains things much clearer then I ever could, and makes it so easy! I learned how to do HTML off that site, actually.

Since it's spring break for me, expect lots of updates! Please give feedback, and thank you so much for the feedback you've already given!