Hey, sorry it's been so long, craziness has ensued and quite a bit has happened this summer. This is actually Dazzle talking for the first time. We'll probably (read: hopefully) be uploading more onto here since school's out, but I can't make any promises. Anyway, Raz and I own nothing, it all belongs to...way more people than can be properly named at the moment. Also, next chapter will have more of the characters you know and love, this is the last of the exposition crap. Anyway, read, review, flame, whatever. Hope you enjoy :)

It's official. I no longer believe in a god. My prayers went unanswered and I am now stuck with the entirety of my family.

I have also decided that since complaining is getting me nowhere, I am simply going to ignore it all. Because I, Craig Tucker, am apathetic like that. Yeah.

Anyway, after we got off the plane in Florida and caught a bus to the general vicinity of our hotel, my parents decided that food should be the next thing on our to-do list seeing as my sister looked ready to jump up and latch onto someone's face and eat them if we didn't get to a restaurant pronto. Commence bickering and use of the magical finger since my family can't agree on anything.

Finally, my mom gave in and we wound up eating at somesuch place whose name I never learned. All I know is that it was filled with way more people than is healthy in so small a place, was louder than an army of Clydes, and the food, if you could call it that, was so covered in grease that my fries looked and tasted more like overcooked noodles rolled in evil than anything. I couldn't even eat my burger.

My dad is a cheap-ass bastard. I'm still amazed that we're even going on a cruise, seeing as they're so expensive.

After our meal, Uncle Skeeter and Red met us at the hotel and I attempted to keep the two girls relatively docile as the adults drank beer and talked about whatever they talk about. I'm trying not to remember the conversation that I did hear, I don't need to think about my dad and Skeeter prancing around in tutus on a dare. That's just sick. And wrong. On so many levels.

So, dealing with the girls actually went fairly well, which is a happy thing. Satan was pretty sleepy, because apparently the four-hour plane nap wasn't enough, and she fell asleep watching...some cartoon. Red wasn't so easily subdued.

She's always been way more touchy-feely than the rest of our family, probably got it from her mom, and therefore spent the first half-hour or so hugging me in some way. She then asked me how my boyfriend was. Which was awkward seeing as I don't have one.

I told her this and she giggled, punched me in the arm (I would have punched her back but I am a gentleman...and punching her would show that she got to me...which she didn't because I don't care), and asked me how Tweak would feel about that. I told her that Tweak would probably feel just dandy about that seeing as he likes girls, which I am not. She gave this weird smile and then stayed quiet for a long while, which was quite welcome.

We talked for a bit longer until Uncle Skeeter walked in drunk and half dressed and asked where we kept the turmeric. I'm surprised he even knows what turmeric is. I kindly shoved him back into the hall and directed him towards his room.

Since Red had taken over the bathroom and I didn't know when to expect her coming out (and she doesn't exactly knock or anything) I changed in the (very small) closet. I have a pretty nice bruise on my head now from the bar the clothes hang on, and, of course, leave it to Red to joke about me literally coming out of the closet afterwards.

I slept on the couch while the two girls slept in the bed together. I fell off the couch halfway through the night and banged my arm on the coffee table. I'd say that someone up there doesn't like me, but I just declared myself an atheist and that would be kind of contradictory. So instead I'll say that I have sucky luck and leave it at that. I mean seriously, why me?

We ate breakfast at a diner that actually wasn't disgusting for once and then headed to the docks to catch our ship. Called the CoralZone. Just to make the trip extra cheesy (it can be a zone of coral or you can take out the L and it's "corazone" as in "heart", geddit?). Because apparently lame puns make the best ship names. Actually, scratch that, I don't even think that can be called a pun. It's just a lame attempt at some sort of literary device. Which I'm not thinking of because I am currently on vacation and therefore English doesn't matter. Thusly, I disclaim any and all errors in this journal.

So we're on the ship now and it's just about to leave port and then we'll be on our way. I feel nauseous. If I get seasick, I'm going to dive off the back of the ship the way Rose attempted to. Only Leonardo DoCaprio won't be there to save me, so I'll actually die.

I really need to stop comparing my life with that movie. It can't be healthy for a teen boy to imagine himself as a chick flick heroine. I think that kind of came out wrong. Whatever.

So, they're about to run a safety drill, I should probably stop writing so that I can learn what to do in case we do hit an iceberg and the ship goes down...okay, I'm seriously stopping it with Titanic now.

Tell you more when I feel like it. Probably tonight. Fuck off. Craig