I do not own JoJo or Persona, and credit goes to Hiimdaisy for the parody comic.
"So let me tell you about this time I changed your diaper..."
"Please don't." Johnny groaned out as he looked upon the bowl of rice in front of him. He reached out for the chopsticks next to the bowl, but as soon as his skin made contact with the wood it erupted into flame. "What the hell!?"
"Pfft. You're half-Japanese and you don't know how to handle chopsticks in the way that prevents combustion? What are you, younger than Nanako?" Dojima asked as he continued to wolf down his rice, ignoring the distressed look on Nanako's face.
"They are wood! Why the hell would wood just suddenly light on fire after you touch it!?"
"Didn't your mom teach you anything?"
"You...! You...!"
You are enjoying a nice, peaceful dinner with your new family!
"No I'm not you ass!" Johnny shouted up to the ceiling, as if it were where the voice was originating from.
All it succeed in doing was making him look crazy.
"A pansy and insane huh? Wow. What a combin-" Dojima was stopped from his latest 'compliment' when his phone suddenly rang. Quick as a whip, he picked it up and said, "Dojima here!"
"Dojima sir!" A voice came out from the other end, letting Johnny and Nanako hear the conversation. "They're selling those cute little ice-cream things you like for half-off at Junes!"
"I'M ON THE CASE!" Dojima shouted loudly and professionally, shutting his phone and getting off of his couch to walk to the door. "Daddy's got some..." Dojima licked his lips. "criminals to apprehend."
The door then shut down, leaving Johnny to stare at the door with a face that screamed of murder and Nanako frowning with teary eyes.
The voice in Johnny's head decided to leave its own two cents.
HATE! PLOT! HATE! PLOT! HATEPLOTHATEPLOTHATEPLOTHATEPLOT!
"I'm going to my room not to punch anything or smash my face into a pillow crying!"Johnny shouted as he got onto his wheelchair and quickly pushed himself to the stairs leading to his room. Quickly grabbed onto the railing, lifted himself off... then fell down face-first onto the stairs. "Son of a John Ford!"
"Um, you okay...?" Nanako tentatively asked, and Johnny turned his head to show her his glaring eyes coupled with tears flowing from his eyes.
"N-N-YES! I'M FINE! I DON'T NEED HELP!"
Johnny's scream caused Nanako to sniffle and then cry. "WAAAAH!" She wailed before running to her room and shutting the door.
Wow. Off to a great start huh?
"Piss off!"Johnny then looked back to the stairs. "Oh Batman, son of god... please give me strength..."
Later that night...
"WAAAAH! MY BROTHER IS DEAD!" Johnny shouted as he hugged a small medal while sitting on the floor.
Plot!
Later than that.
Johnny slept peacefully, clutching a small stuffed horse while lying on the bed.
Then, the room flooded in fog and a mysterious figure hovered over Johnny.
"Heeeelloooo Jooooeeeesstaaaarrr..."
Johnny opened his eyes and stared at the figure. "...Hi?"
"Ploooooooottttt..." The figure whispered before it suddenly disappeared, leaving Johnny alone to keep staring up with widened eyes.
And no American went to sleep that night...
But thankfully!
Hey!
Johnny paused while eating the normal Japanese breakfast (According to anime) bread in mouth. "Hm?"
It's time for school!
Johnny's face fell. "Ugh..."
Johnny then left the house, ignoring Nanako's stricken face as he pushed himself down the path to school in his uniform, munching on bread and ignoring the standard Sakura petals blowing.
You wondered what fun, exciting adventures await for you in your new school!
"Not really." Johnny declared, completely ignoring the giggling little groups of high school girls and pushing away normal high school boys trying to talk to him. "I'll probably get a teacher who's a real pain in the ass."
Then when Johnny arrived at school...
"EBERYBODY IN DIS SCHOOL IS A WHORE!" The creature that was only known as King Moron declared as soon as Johnny entered the room, right into his face, spitting all over Johnny's rather handsome looks. "NOW TAKE YER CHASITY BELT AND SIDDOWN!"
Wow. You weren't kidding.
Johnny then looked at his class, which was staring back at him.
Time to make a good first impression!
Johnny looked back at King Moron and shouted, "Fuck the man!"
Smooth...
Before anyone could react, the loudspeaker suddenly blared out, "Someone got killed. Now go home."
Johnny blinked. "Wait. Someone got killed?"
Eh. Probably not important.
"Feels pretty damn important to me!"
"Hey there American transfer student!" A girl shouted, breaking Johnny's attention from his inward discussion and look at the girl his age with short brown hair and a green jacket flagged by another girl wearing red with long black hair. "You're Johnny Joestar right? I'm Chie Satonaka!"
"And I'm uncomfortable..." The other girl whispered out, causing Chie to grin as she elbowed her on the arm.
"And this is Yukiko Amagi! We were wondering if you would be interested in helping us go ho-!"
"Piss off." Johnny interrupted as he got onto his chair and began to push himself away.
Chie just stared at him, frozen in shock for a second, before glaring and shouting. "What? Are you too good for us or something you jerk!?" Johnny then stopped, frozen in place as Chie continued. "You jerkish jerk! We're two girls who want to hang out with you and you tell us to piss off!? Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!"
Johnny then slowly turned around, and Chie was taken aback by the serene expression on his face. "Nobody has called me that before."
"Um..." Chie began to look as uncomfortable as Yukiko.
What?
Johnny then pushed himself off of his chair and hugged Chie's waist. "I'll be with you until the day you die!"
"W-What?!"
"Call me a jerk again! Call me other things! Asshole! Dick! Anything! Please!"
I'm starting to think you have issues man.
"A-At least you want to go with us...?" Chie stated with a strained smile on her face.
This is a start of a... friendship? I guess?
To Be Continued...?
Note: While you all wait for the next update of ADKoT, please enjoy this thing I just came up with.
Also anyone is welcome to add their own little snippets on this 'abridged' thing as well! Just send them to me and they'll be posted whenever!
Be sure to leave reviews on both this and A Different Kind of Truth. Any and all feedback will be much appreciated!