Okay, since I've been lazy about replying to reviews individually, let me just say that I'm thankful for all of the feedback and I look forward to finding out what comes next as much as anyone else.
I've been asked why I've essentially made Anna the villain. I do not like that character at all and always found that her control freak nature led her to do some pretty awful things that hurt her child (namely, blocking all access to April once Luke challenged her, even though April loved and missed Luke by that point). Her personality hasn't changed: it is just being reflected in this story in a different way.
I also kind of wanted to switch Luke and Lorelai's parenting roles: here, he is completely on his own while she is the one that has to co-parent. Both of them will deal with their exes, and there will be no romanticizing how things could or should have been. They lived with those people and tried to raise children with them, but it failed, and now they have to deal with them rationally.
So enough of the infodump, and please enjoy. Feel free to drop me any suggestions as I'm still very early in working this out in my head.
Lorelai started to time her visits to the diner to coincide with Luke (and April's) presence shortly after their impromptu shared dinner.
She wasn't aware of it at first. The house was mostly finished, and she wasn't really scrambling financially anymore to cover the costs of furnishing and upkeeping a larger space. She and Rory were finally free to eat out instead of cobbling together a meal at home while she worked on dressmaking projects in her spare time. They had to eat somewhere, didn't they? And she wasn't exactly stalking him: she was just curious. She had asked around about April, but she hadn't been able to get much information: little was known about her mother, and even Patty and Babette said that they had never seen her. Most of Stars Hollow hadn't even known of her existence until Luke had shown up with a chestnut-haired toddler on the heels of his sister's latest departure, and since then he and April had mostly kept to themselves. It had been relatively easy for Lorelai to remain oblivious to the presence of Luke's mystery child while she hunkered down and dealt with the details of yet another major life change.
Lorelai had noticed that if she scurried to the diner immediately at five without running home to change clothes that she and Rory could sit down to dinner with Luke and April in the diner. Rory usually wasn't receptive to that, and it was rare that she could leave work that early, so it didn't happen often. If she strolled in at six o clock, she would often miss Luke completely: if they made it close to seven, she could catch him without April. Lorelai noticed that he always kept a baby monitor clipped to his belt (she wondered how she had missed this before and why she oddly found it enhanced his manly man persona) and that he disappeared upstairs for five minutes intervals about every half hour.
She supposed that he and April lived above the diner. She wondered why she had never thought about it before.
One night, Lorelai ventured to the diner alone at seven after dropping Rory off at Lane's so that they could finish a school project together, and kept an eye out for Luke. She ordered her usual burger and fries and waited for him to wander over to her table so that they could engage in the combination of teasing and single parent commiseration that now comprised the bulk of their everyday banter. She was thinking lately that maybe she and Rory needed a little break from each other, especially since Rory seemed slightly annoyed whenever the subject of Luke or April came up at this point. She loved her daughter with all of her heart, but occasionally it was nice for each of them to enjoy a little company with someone their own age.
Luke didn't show up. Lorelai frowned and finished her burger, wondering if she should have stayed at home tonight and watched some television instead. She didn't see anyone in the diner she wanted to strike up a conversation with, and maybe the set timer on her VCR could use a break these days. She could always make her way over to Sookie's, but Sookie and Jackson were in the middle of some insane obsession with cobbling together vegetarian casseroles in their spare time and it was best not to intervene.
Cesar emerged from the curtain behind the diner, grumbling as he made his way back to the kitchen. Lorelai decided to stay put and ordered some pie.
Ten minutes later, one of Luke's waiters quickly disappeared behind the curtain and Lorelai heard the slight echo of his footsteps ascending a flight of stairs. He returned to the diner a few moments later, had a quick conversation with a flustered Cesar, and then brought the pie around to Lorelai's table.
"Sorry about that," he apologized to Lorelai as he placed a slice of warm strawberry pie in front of her.
"Where's Luke tonight, Jon?" Lorelai asked.
Just at that moment, Lorelai heard a familiar echo from above them: the impassioned cry of a miserable toddler, followed by the steady sound of footsteps pacing across the floor.
Jon shrugged. "Parenting crisis, I guess," he explained. "It's just me and Cesar tonight."
Lorelai nodded. "Been there," she told him as he moved to another table.
Lorelai finished her pie and went to the counter to pay the bill just as an exasperated Cesar emerged from behind the curtain.
"I can't reason with him," he told Jon. "He says he'll be out tomorrow too. He's going to try to call in someone else, but – "
"Maybe I can help," Lorelai interjected.
"You don't work here," Jon said with a chuckle.
"That's not what I meant," Lorelai replied. "Maybe I can go up, talk to him, help him out with whatever the crisis is. I am raising a kid by myself too, you know."
Cesar sighed. "It couldn't hurt," he said. "The stairs are to the left of the curtain, office is on the right. Just don't get too alarmed if he won't let you in."
Lorelai nodded as she tucked her change back in her purse and ventured behind the curtain, pondering to herself just how a single man and his two-year-old could live inside William Danes's tiny office.
She had dealt with worse, but not everyone was up to the task. She had learned that the hard way the few times she had tried to befriend other single moms.
Lorelai gingerly tapped on the office door still displaying the William's Hardware lettering on the glass, and received no answer.
She tried again, this time a little louder.
Luke opened the door, looking more rumpled and exhausted than she could ever remember seeing him. His hat and flannel had been discarded, and he was clutching April to his chest, his gray T-shirt slightly damp with the detritus of parenting.
Lorelai smiled to herself when she noticed April's pajamas – pink, decorated with tiny fish, fishing rods, and miniature fishermen. Prototypical pajamas designed for a single dad raising a daughter. She wondered where Luke had got them.
"I'm not coming down tonight," he told Lorelai firmly. "I've told Cesar that twice."
"I know," Lorelai said as she shuffled her heels. "I just wanted to know if you two were okay. I wanted to see if I could help."
"I've got it," Luke insisted. "We're fine. I've got it handled."
"Luke, do you remember what I told you a couple of weeks ago about not being afraid to ask for assistance when you needed it?" Lorelai said softly.
"I remember," Luke replied. "But I don't need help. I can take care of my daughter by myself."
Lorelai inwardly cringed as she remembered barking those words out to anyone who tried to meddle in her stubbornness over the years. Her parents, Chris's parents, Mia, Babette, Sookie, Luke's father –
Sometimes she had been right. And sometimes she hadn't.
"I understand that," Lorelai said. "But you know, as someone who's been there before, and who looked in vain for someone to talk to about it, over and over and over again, until I thought I was going insane, and there was no one – "
Luke sighed, and Lorelai grinned, sensing an opening.
"– I figure you might as least want to talk to someone about it. Because that someone is on your front door, offering herself up to you on a platter. And you might as well want to stay on her good side. At least for twenty minutes or so, before she has to pick up her own kid and put her to bed. It's probably not the worst idea in the world."
Luke grumbled in acquiescence, and Lorelai's let out a subdued squeal of triumph. "Fine. She's asleep now anyway. Just let me put her to bed. And remember, we've got to be quiet."
"I'll be quiet," Lorelai promised as she stepped into Luke's office/makeshift home for the first time and closed the door behind them.
The inside of Luke's office wasn't exactly what she was expecting.
Lorelai had been up here years ago when it belonged to William, shortly after she moved into the Independence Inn with Rory. Most of the old family pictures were still up on the walls, but some of the fishing memorabilia had been replaced with newer pictures. There were a couple of phots of what looked like April as a baby, as well as some pictures of Luke with his sister and her son, who Lorelai recognized from their infrequent stays in Stars Hollow. William's desk had been removed and replaced with a sofa and small dresser, and a small kitchen had been laid down as well as a bedroom behind it. Lorelai sat down on the sofa as Luke crossed over to the bedroom to put April to bed.
Lorelai could see him carefully smooth down the covers and lay April in her tiny toddler bed – still propped up by rails so she wouldn't fall out – before tucking the blanket over her and turning out the lamp on what appeared to be a small dresser. Lorelai observed the glow-in-the-dark stars and moon stickers scattered across her roof, and could see the dim outlines of furniture reflected in their florescent light: a toy chest stacked on the opposite wall, the bed, the dresser with a few stuffed animals stacked haphazardly on top of it next to the lamp.
There was practically nothing on his side of the room except for a small built-in bookcase that looked to be overloaded with paperwork. There was no TV, no bed, nothing except for the sofa and the dresser. It was a completely spartan plane of existence, except for the space painstakingly set aside for April.
It was all for April. Everything was for her.
Lorelai remained silent as she watched Luke putter around the kitchen, heating up a cup of coffee for her and tea for himself. She was reminded of her first apartment with Rory, where she had slept in the living room while Rory slept in the bedroom. She hadn't bothered to decorate any part of the apartment other than Rory's room.
"I wouldn't think you would have kept coffee here," Lorelai said as Luke sat beside her on the sofa.
"My sister left some behind the last time she stayed here," Luke said in a rasp. He placed his cup on the coffee table and ran his hand through his hair. He looked absolutely depleted of energy.
"I like what you did with the stickers," Lorelai said, gesturing to the homemade planetarium splattered against the roof of April's nursery. "I wish I'd thought of that."
"Thanks," Luke said. "I'm trying to teach April constellations," he admitted sheepishly.
"How's that going?" Lorelai asked as she picked up her cup and sipped some coffee.
Luke scoffed. "Well, she's two, so you can imagine," he said. "I think she likes it when I tell her the stories."
"You really set up a nice place," Lorelai said sincerely. "I didn't know you lived up here."
"I don't," Luke said quickly. "We've got an apartment over on B Street."
"B Street," Lorelai said. "Rory and I used to live there, about five or six years ago. That means – "
She hit his arm as it suddenly came to her. "He's your landlord!" she exclaimed.
"Shh," Luke said, turning his head in the direction towards April's side of the non-apartment. Both he and Lorelai paused while they listened for any signs of activity.
"It's okay," he said after a few seconds. "She's actually not a light sleeper, believe it or not."
"Your landlord, Luke," Lorelai said in quieter voice, steering him back to the topic. "Taylor Doose is your landlord." She giggled. "This explains so much."
"I got it for my sister a few years ago," Luke explained. "She left almost right away and we moved in. Liz probably would have caused a lot more trouble than we do. No overnight guests, no loud parties and whenever I get pissed off at him the worst I do is let April ride her tricycle on the grass. He finds plenty of other ways to pester me."
"Right before we left, Rory and I decorated the entire driveway in sidewalk chalk," Lorelai revealed. "Nothing permanent, just momentarily garish, you know? I'm pretty sure he pressure-washed the entire thing the minute we were gone."
"I remember," Luke said as he shot her a wry smile. "Jess and Rory did the same thing to the driveway of my dad's house the next day."
"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Lorelai asked. "I could have come over and helped clean it up."
He shrugged. "It washed off when it rained the next day," he said. "Besides, Liz and Jess were living in the house that summer. It wasn't really my call."
"It's so strange that we've lived in the same town for so long, that Rory and Jess have played with each other since they were kids, and we didn't really know each other until you opened this place," Lorelai mused.
"We both had a lot going on during the past ten years," Luke said softly.
"We did," Lorelai agreed. She turned to face him. "Luke, I've got to ask you why you're put together such an elaborate nursery for April if you're not living here."
"We've kind of got a routine," Luke explained. "My friend Maisy keeps her in the morning, and then after the lunch run is through, I pick her up and we have the afternoons to ourselves. We eat dinner in the diner, I put her to bed here, and then after the diner closes, we go home. That room is her bedroom four, five nights a week. I wanted her to be comfortable, to not know the difference. It's probably not the most conventional set up in the world, but – "He shrugged. 'It's what works for us. At least right now, anyway."
"Luke, I lived in the garden shed at the Independence for the first three years Rory and I lived here," Lorelai said. "My childcare until she was four involved her following me around from room to room while I cleaned them." She took a sip of coffee. "Trust me, what you're doing is a lot better for her than what I had to do."
"I guess," Luke replied. He sounded unconvinced.
"What happened tonight?" Lorelai asked. "I'm guessing whatever crisis that called you up here was unexpected."
Luke sighed. "April's mother called, wanted to take her on an overnight visit. She had a stomach virus last week, so I was wary, but Anna really wanted to do it. And it's only been a couple of months since she had April overnight, so I wasn't that concerned. Besides, she missed taking April out last month, so I figure it's good for them to spend some time with each other. April is supposedly her kid, too, right?"
Her voice was starting to grow increasingly bitter, and Lorelai wondered if he was unwittingly revealing more than he intended to when he invited her in tonight.
However, by this point she also knew Luke well enough not to stop him when he was in the middle of a rant. She wasn't about to interrupt him now.
"So, I pack up the clothes and the medicine and give her the extra phone numbers, just in case. I'm thinking I should give in and get a cell phone for these occasions and then I'm thinking that's crazy, what do I need with a cell phone? I should be able to trust her. This is her mother. I pack her off, and two hours later I get a call from security at the Hartford art museum because for some reason Anna thought it was a great idea to bring a two-year-old there during the hours she should be taking a nap. And she bought her some juice, which wouldn't have been a big deal except April got frightened by all the crowds and she was tired and that combined with the juice ended up with her throwing a tantrum in the middle of the museum and vomiting all over some rich person's shoes. I'm the one who gets called down there because I'm the custodial parent and Anna can't handle anything by herself. I run in there, April is weeping, Anna is screaming, and all I can think about is how stupid I was to let down my guard again."
Luke let out a deep breath and rested back against the cushions. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "You weren't expecting that."
Lorelai smiled slightly. "I think you needed it," she told him.
"I guess you were right," Luke said. "I did need to talk to somebody about what had happened. About what keeps happening."
"Anna's mother being sick – that's not the real reason why you're taking care of April all by yourself, is it?" Lorelai guessed.
"No," Luke admitted. "Anna's always been like this. It's just gradually gotten worse. Sometimes I think it would be simpler if she just didn't try anymore, but every time she does try and something happens that's not under her complete control she tends to freak out like she did today." He turns to her. "You're divorced. How did you do it? How did you make your ex do what they were supposed to do?"
"I've never really had the same problems that you have, Luke," Lorelai admitted. "Well, that's not entirely true. I did have those problems while I was married." She let out a bitter laugh of her own. "That sounds completely crazy, doesn't it?"
"Not entirely," Luke said, his azure gaze locked on her own.
"By the time it ended, Christopher and I were doing everything possible to avoid each other's company," Lorelai explained. "We'd moved from his parent's house to my mom's pool house, and it just – it just wasn't working out. It was easier for him not to spend time with Rory if it meant he didn't have to spend time with me. I just couldn't do that to her, you know? I wanted to be with my daughter. Avoiding her wasn't an option."
"Right," Luke agreed, her eyes still locked on hers. She knew that he felt the same way about April.
"I did the usual teenage things," Lorelai continued. "I begged. I picked fights with him. I tried to manipulate him. I said I would tattle on him to his mother. I don't recommend any of those things. I was seventeen and crazy and exhausted and I didn't see a way out. The only thing that worked was threatening to check up on him every five minutes when he was with Rory. Christopher asked me not to do that, told me that it was stupid to continue doing that if I wanted him to spend time with Rory. And I let logic invade my brain and I kind of realized that maybe we were better parents if we didn't get in each other's way. That we owed it to Rory to try to be good parents to her without having whatever was going on with us be a part of it. I sat down and talked with him about it and he agreed. That's when we decided to break up."
"You haven't had any problems since then?" Luke asked in an incredulous voice.
"I'm not going to claim that," Lorelai said. "The fact that we were young and kind of winging it probably helped, though. We tried to be married, we failed, and we had to learn the rest of it on our own. We wanted to do it on our own. The plans our parents had for us didn't work, so we had to figure out something else. And Christopher left the state when Rory was six, but it doesn't mean I'm completely rid of him. He stays involved because he wants to be, but I don't deal with him as much as I would otherwise." She took another sip from her cup of coffee. "I'm not sure how much that helps you."
Luke laughed. "It doesn't." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Anna doesn't want to be involved," he stated baldly. "She'll put in some effort every now and then, but only on her terms or when she feels guilty. I've always known it was going to end up to be just April and me. I'm fine with that part. It's just the other stuff I don't know what to do about."
"Is April still sick?" Lorelai asked. "I mean, do you need any help in that department?"
"I don't think so," Luke said. "She was just tired and in a strange place with a lot of strange people yelling at her – "he sighed. "I think she was just frightened. I'm going to stay home with her tomorrow, just in case."
Lorelai drained the last of her cup of coffee and stood up. "I'm due to pick Rory up in about fifteen minutes," she said as Luke stood up beside her. "I'll call and check on you guys tomorrow, okay?"
"You don't have to," Luke protested.
"I want to," Lorelai told him. "That's what friends do for each other, right? And us single parents have to watch out for each other." She stopped to look him in the eye. "I hope that I helped just a tiny bit tonight."
"You did," Luke told her honestly. "You helped a lot."
At that moment, both of them heard April whimper from her bed.
"Duty calls," Luke said as he turned to hug her goodbye before crossing the room to tend to April.
Lorelai shut the door behind her and turned to depart just as she heard the strains of Luke soothing his daughter disappear behind her.