Another chapter up! Read and enjoy. AND, review.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was the very next morning at breakfast when Anakin's perfect image of his master began to blur. They'd sat down at their usual table together, their breakfast already set in place. It consisted of eggs, toast, the usual. The meals served at the Jedi temple were always quite simple, despite how simple their lives were not. Despite all of the excitement Jedi experienced, their life styles were hardly what one might call 'exciting'. But maybe that was the point. You didn't need material luxuries to live life to its fullest. Well, that was one of the many things that Obi-Wan Kenobi had lectured Anakin Skywalker on in all his years of training under him. And it was something the young jedi had complained about bitterly. However, it wasn't so much the material possessions that bothered him,-though it could be a pain- as much as it was the fact that Jedi could not love. In some form, were love and compassion not the same thing? Well, it is not as though it mattered. He and Obi-Wan were very much in love. And they would be together forever.

...Wouldn't they?

Anakin sat over his plain meal, his prosthetic hand entangled in his dirty blond locks and the other hand on his fork as he gradually picked the food apart. Yes, he did have quite an appetite that morning and was looking forward to getting some actual nourishment. With his thoughts and feelings recently, he'd not been able to stomach much. Then, Obi-Wan spoke up. He sort of hesitated before speaking, looking over his young apprentice carefully. "Anakin, I should tell you something."

Anakin tensed somewhat at these words, his grip tightening on his fork. "What's that, master?" he replied, glancing to the other. He did not offer up any evidence of the paranoia he'd been feeling recently. In fact, he'd more or less expected master's next words. "I'm afraid that..." he paused a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I have not been entirely truthful with you." he looked at his former padawan, trying to read his expression. Anakin sat up properly, swallowing hard. He supposed, he'd not, in truth, been expecting it quite yet. "What do you mean, master?" "I mean that with everything that has happened with Master Jinn, I... do not know how I feel any longer."

At this, Anakin took in a sharp breath. What was Obi-Wan trying to say? Was he truly going to leave him? After everything, after the night prior even? His master spoke once again. "Do not take this the wrong way, Anakin... When I say-" he paused, looking around himself cautiously. "When I say I love you, I do mean it. Do not think for a second that I have lied to you." Anakin lost his appetite then, looking away. "Please, master, make your point." Obi-Wan went on. "With everything that has happened," he repeated, "I fear I may need some space."

...Space? Anakin was dumbstruck. Surely his master could come up with a much better wording than 'space'. Maybe 'I'm leaving you. I don't love you anymore. I love Qui-Gon.' would have sufficed. "Master, please explain this to me. You owe me that atleast." Anakin once again looked to his master, his expression slightly cold. Taken aback, the Jedi master thought on his words once more before speaking. "You have to understand, Ani, that this is a very confusing time for me. Master Jinn was formerly the love of my life. Losing him was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Now that he has returned from the essence of the Force, you can understand how much this has confused me."

Anakin's eyes were in a downcast. He thought on this for a moment. Was Obi-Wan not considering him in all of this? What about his own confusion? But, nonetheless, he composed himself before placing a hand over the other's affectionately. "Master, I love you, more than anything. And I will give you as much time as you need." A sort of pitiful grimace graced Obi-Wan's features for naught but a moment. "I thank you, Anakin."

It was then that the young apprentice stood, bowing to his master before moving quickly out of the room. He wanted to scream. No, he wanted to die. What was his master thinking? Was he trying to spare his feelings? There was no need, Anakin had seen this coming light years away. His master, his dear master, was going to leave him for another man. And in his distraught, Anakin ran right into this other man, his face colliding with Qui-Gon Jinn's shoulder. Anakin moved back, looking up at the older man. It was sort of nostalgic in a way. Master Jinn looked exactly the same as he did all those years ago back on Tatooine. Even being so young, Anakin could still remember quite clearly. Oh, he could remember Obi-Wan as a padawan as well. The thought made him shiver a little. However, at the moment he did not want his thoughts to linger on his beloved master. Qui-Gon had been very good looking as well, and still was. This was something Anakin could not deny. The long, slightly greying hair, beard and kind blue eyes were something he could relate with finding attractive. But, Anakin still found Obi-Wan's beard much more... for lack of a better term, sexy.

"Master..." Anakin spoke, bowing to the other. "Forgive me, I did not see you there." If he'd not been "minding his feelings", as Obi-Wan frequently told him to do, his actual words towards the other might not have been so courteous. "It's quite alright, Anakin." Qui-Gon spoke, stepping back to take a look at the younger before him. "My, you've grown since the last time we met. And no doubt, you've become a fantastic jedi as I've heard." he commented, a warm grin pulling at his lips. "Yes. And you haven't changed in the slightest. It's good to see you again." Anakin replied, going along with Jinn's pleasantries. He had no reason to be hostile towards the elder man. He'd done nothing wrong, nothing but come back from the dead and steal Anakin's one and only love right out from under him. [pun intended] However much bitterness he felt towards Qui-Gon, he would hide as best as he could manage. "It truly was good speaking to you once more Master Jinn, but please I hope that you'll excuse me." "Of course, Ani."

A spark of anger flowed through Anakin then. Especially Master Jinn, the bane of any love the young Jedi had come to experience within his life, had the nerve to call him "Ani". It was only Obi-Wan who could call him by that name, only him! But... not anymore. As Anakin moved around his own master's former master, he quickly made his way back to his bedroom, thoughts of his heartache running through his head like blood. How did he know that it was his pet name anyways? Had he come up with it on his own, or had Obi-Wan been speaking of him? If so, what had he been saying? Was he speaking ill of him, or good? Was Qui-Gon aware? Was this some scheme the two of them had come up with to hurt him? So many questions, and no answers. Though thinking about it, near to none of his conclusions were something he could see Obi-Wan doing to him. He knew him better than that, didn't he?

Once he was in the privacy of his own quarters, he stopped. His hands went to his head, pressing on his temples. Oh, how he just wanted to sleep. Just wanted to forget. Anakin lay down on his bed, above the covers. His fingers twisted in the pristine linen. His head hurt, and his heart hurt. Really, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what would make the pain go away.

Oh, but there was one thing. Anakin glanced down, eyeing the lightsabre on his hip. He took the hilt in his hands, turning it over. For a moment, he brought the laser blade out, examining the brilliant blue sheen. Then, he brought it down, dangerously close to his flesh coated arm. It would make the pain go away. He just had to be careful not to sever his other arm. The burning sensation on his flesh, the charred smell...

No.

Anakin sheathed the blade again, dropping the hilt on the ground. What was this? What was he trying to do? To prove? What Obi-Wan had said to him that morning didn't mean the end of the universe. It didn't exactly mean he'd stopped loving him either. It didn't even mean they wouldn't be together in the end. But could he really blame himself for having his doubts? He held a pillow over his head in an attempt to silence the thoughts pounding through his mind. It didn't mean anything. He would give his master the time he'd requested, and it was all he could do. If Anakin really loved him, he would have to. It was the only answer.

Just then, there was a voice from outside the door. "Anakin?" No rest for the wicked, not today "It's time for you to come to training." It was Obi-Wan, of course. For a moment, he considered telling the other he was ill. But his master knew him better than that and would most likely figure he was lying. However, at the moment all he wanted was just to be alone. "Yes master, I'll be there in a moment." He called, getting up from the bed. Everything was going to be fine. And as long as he kept telling himself that, it would be. Though his confidence in his lover had indeed been shaken, it would not wane completely. But, perhaps this was for the best. After all, as a wise man had once said, maybe it was time to...

let go, of everything that he was afraid to lose.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ani's feelings are all muddled up. D: There's a battle going on in his mind between reason and conclusion. And, reason is so far winning, thank god. What're we going to do? Review, please.