Insomnia... is not fun. But I bet you people love it now; I don't sleep, and you get a chapter. I'm just gonna start sleeping whenever I can. Fuck regular sleeping schedules. I assume band camp will fix those, anyways, by tiring me the fuck out.

But I guess you didn't come here to hear me rant. You came here to read my story, and that's all you care about. Not the authoress herself. -in corner-

This chapter, again, is not beta'd. My beta is asleep, and I wanna go ahead and get this published. See problems? Deal with them. You know what I meant, and everyone makes mistakes. Plus, Madarao is too pissed right now to care. Fuck sleeping.

Disclaimer: I do not, and never have nor will I ever, own Fullmetal Alchemist. I... am not a glasses-wearing cow, therefore I am not Hiromu Arakawa. Sound familiar? Yeah, that's the name at the bottom of the FMA volumes. See the name at the top of this page? Hiromu Arakawa DOES NOT EQUAL Madarao. If you think it does... kindly get some medical help and do not sit outside my bedroom window, you crazy stalker people.

Warnings: Hard-to-get, mostly crude Madarao-humor. Foul language (I should stop even saying this. If you're reading my stories, you should know I cuss like a sailor, and therefore there is a lot of cussing in my stories.) TEH LEMONZ! Cha!

Enjoy the last chapter of How Do I Say 'I Love You?' (Yes, there is a fucking question mark at the end, but FF won't show it! Fuck. -.-)

One of three things could be happening: One, the entire world could be shaking; two, he could be on a bed being shaken by two crazy people having sex at his feet, which he would not be happy about and be forced to kick their asses; three, he overslept again and Hawkeye was shaking him awake... and coming to kill him with that damn gun that she handled so lovingly. Faced with this situation, there was only one thing he could do: He brought hand from out of the covers, flapped it around weakly, mumbled something that sounded like "Mmm mtym tm smlp hm." and flopped over onto his other side. Unfortunately, that put him where the light was angled directly into his face. It burned and it was too damn bright. So he pulled the thick comforter up over his head. It muffled the exasperated sigh from whoever had been shaking him.

That knocked out option number one.

"Edward, come on and get up; we've got to go to work."

And that knocked out options two and three.

"Roy?" he grumbled to the pillow, nuzzling his nose farther into it.

"Who else would it be? Now come on. I've got breakfast waiting for you downstairs. You might want to hurry along with it, because we've got about forty-five minutes before we have to leave."

Ed ate like the food would be taken away from him. He showered like the water was acid. But when they got to dressing and putting his hair up? He moved as if he had all the time in the world. Roy urged him on, trying to coax him to move faster; nothing worked. Not even promising him food, which surprised him greatly. Instead of walking as was the usual mode of transportation to work, they wound up taking the car because the younger alchemist took so long brushing his hair and putting it up into a sleek ponytail, one that would shine in the light and swing merrily with every step he took. Needless to say, it was hard for the general to stay mad at him for too long.

The drive was short. Roy had decided not to live very far away as he himself had a terrible habit of oversleeping. Those mornings, he had to rush to work, often skipping breakfast, and living closer to Central Headquarters was an advantage. One he was rather happy to have.

Do not paw the Fullmetal Alchemist. Do not paw the Fullmetal Alchemist. Don't. Fucking. Touch. The Fullmetal Alchemist. It was a mantra that was played over and over in his head as he sat behind his desk, grip on his pen tight and head tilted down. But just because it looked like his eyes were on the stack of requests in front of him didn't mean they actually were. In fact, it was quite the opposite; they had rolled up so as to have a lovely view of Edward's ass as he stretched up to grab yet another book off of one of the many bookshelves in his new office. He'd gotten them in hopes that the young alchemist might stick around the office for a little bit longer than necessary. No such luck. Ed settled back on his right foot, set just a little bit behind the left foot, and flipped the cover of the book he'd chosen open. Dammit. He just needs to sit his ass down and not move. His hold on the pen slackened a bit and one corner of his mouth tilted down. No, that probably wouldn't work. He'd sprawl across the couch in that careless way of his and that would be just as bad.

Havoc wasn't in yet, which was both unusual and obviously distressing the young alchemist standing at the book case. Roy, of course, wasn't quite sure of the reason. Yesterday, he'd seemed quite happy to get out of the same building as the smoker. And now he was anxiously awaiting the man's arrival? Something wasn't right.

So when the second lieutenant finally did walk through the door and Edward didn't even seem to notice, Roy was practically a rag doll in his chair, dumbstruck and wondering what the hell was going on. Then the blond cast a smile at him, and what could he do but smile back. That was when he noticed that Havoc was intently watching Ed, and the way he turned to give the smile to the general gave the office crew a clear view of the dark love mark on the side of his neck. Breda and Falman didn't notice, of course, but Fuery let out a surprised gasp. Hawkeye stared at it a moment, then sighed and turned back to her work. Havoc looked completely livid; he was actually beginning to turn purple.

... Oh.

"Ed, I think we need to talk." That was Havoc, trying to act calm and collected. Everyone could hear the pure, burning anger and control in his voice. The blond didn't help himself by simply blinking innocently at his ex-boyfriend.

"What do you mean? Why? It's not like we're together anymore or anything." Which didn't do anyone any good; sometimes, Roy wished Edward would learn to shut his damn mouth. If possible, the second lieutenant looked even more mad, and Ed simply arched a brow questioningly at him. "Problems, Havoc?"

"Who?"

"Excuse me, what was that?"

"Who the hell gave you... that?" He was growling through his teeth now, narrowing his eyes at the mark on the other man's neck. Ed smiled, pointed to it. One eyebrow arched delicately to ask Oh, you mean this? The look on Havoc's face gave him his answer.

"Doesn't matter." the young alchemist replied aloofly, shrugging his shoulders and turning back to the bookcase. Carefully, he slid the book back into its place, picked up another that drew his attention. Behind him, his ex-boyfriend was gaping at him, still flushed with anger. "But I will tell you... he's everything you aren't, you bastard."

At his desk, Roy smirked. Fuery gasped loudly. Hawkeye stopped, arms full of files, and stared. Breda and Falman actually noticed something was going on. And Havoc... his jaw hit the desk, eyes bugging out of his skull and attempting to run for cover. Again, he did the impossible: he looked so pissed Roy was sure that he was going to explode.

For once, the entire office was silent. It was almost as scary as the vibes radiating from the second lieutenant.

Edward looked over his shoulder, obviously feeling the many stares- and one glare- boring into his shoulder blades. He blinked innocently again, frowned, and said, "Shouldn't you be working?"

Roy nearly fell out of his desk chair laughing, clutching his side at the sharp pain there. Hawkeye shook her head disapprovingly, turning back to her filing. Fuery looked terrified; he was the one standing closest to Havoc. Breda and Falman cracked unsure smiles; they didn't know what was going on, Breda having been distracted by tracing patterns on the ceiling and Falman by signing papers. Needless to say, Havoc wasn't doing so well.

Seeming to have found a book that would occupy his interest for the time he'd be staying here, Edward flopped across the couch carelessly. Instantly, the already-dying chuckles bubbling from Roy's lips- there had been no way to stop them, as he'd tried everything he could think of- abruptly stopped and he was riveted. Ed was leaning back against the arm of the couch, automail hand holding the top corner of the book open and the flesh hand resting on his forehead, elbow propped on the back of the couch. His left leg dangled over the side, and the other was resting- bent- against the back like his elbow. There was a look of concentration in his eyes; though if it was really for the book or for something else entirely, he didn't know. But damn it was intoxicating. He could certainly get used to that sprawled on his couch every morning. Or on his bed. No! Don't think like that! Not here!

For a while, everything was back to normal. They did their work quietly. Roy signed paper after paper, skimming most and giving a half-assed attempt at reading the others. Every once in a while, he'd chance a glance at his almost-lover. A few times, their eyes met, and Ed smiled. How could he not smile back? So he did. It probably hadn't been the smartest decision on their part, especially after the incident from earlier. And considering that Havoc was sitting right there and more than likely watching Edward like a hawk- a pissed off hawk, that was.

When Havoc stood up so quickly his chair fell back, everyone was startled out of their skin, even Hawkeye. He stomped around and grabbed Edward's steel wrist, roughly jerked him to a standing position, and dragged him out of the office. Which left Roy to sit at his desk and wonder if he should follow.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? What the hell is your problem? You're going around flaunting where some... some... sex addict has sucked on your neck two days after we broke up." Havoc hissed, roughly jerking Ed's head to the side using his bangs to show the mark. "I mean... what the hell, Ed? I didn't know you were some kind of slut."

"Let go of me, you bastard." the shorter growled, slapping his wrist with his automail hand. "That hurt,, dammit! And it's not like I'm the only one with someone else. It's the whole reason you broke up with me. At least I waited until after you broke up with me. So this is your fault, and you have no right to be mad at me." He took a step away from his ex, but wound up backing into a wall and simply looked away. "If you wanted me, you should've thought about that. Besides, how can you call him a sex addict? You don't even know him! And all we ever did was fuck 'cause you wanted to!" Snarling, he shoved Havoc's shoulder, hands fisting at his sides. "So don't go calling him a sex addict!"

"What the hell are you protecting him for? You've only been with him a day."

"So? He treats me better than you ever did; he always has. I love him, and I'm not afraid to say it. I'd say it to him right now if he were out here."

"Who is it?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Just tell me."

For a moment, Edward simply nibbled on his lip. If he told, wouldn't that make his ex-boyfriend more jealous? And wasn't that what he wanted. "Roy." When Havoc burst out laughing, he was startled. "What?"

"You're so stupid! Do you not know his game? He'll make you feel like you're on top of the world, like you're his number one, and then he'll dump you and make you feel like shit."

"I'm sorry, Havoc, but I think you're confusing him with yourself." he snapped, turning to go back into the office. Fingers wrapped tightly around his flesh wrist and jerked him back. There were more fingers in his hair, jerking his head back by the bangs again.

"Is there a problem out here?" Ed didn't even have to look to know who it was, but he pulled his hair from the strong grip to see anyways. Roy was standing just outside of the door to his office, arms crossed over his strong chest and a frown on his face. The blond grinned up at his soon-to-be lover and Havoc let him go, standing erect.

"No, sir."

"Good. Return to your work."

"Yes, sir." the smoker replied bitterly, snapping a half-assed salute and trudging back into the office. But not before he pushed his ex out of his way, grumbling, "Stupid fag." at him.

Roy stepped forward, got down onto a knee, and caught Ed's face between his hands."Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" For an answer, he got lips capturing his, sliding and licking and nipping. Then Ed suddenly pulled away and gave him one of those looks- one of the 'I need to ask these, but I really don't want to' looks.

"Am I just a part of a game to you?" the blond mumbled, unable to look at his superior when he asked it. The general sputtered, shocked. Did Edward really think he would do that? After all that had happened yesterday and all he'd confessed.

"No! Who the hell told you tha- Havoc." Roy shook his head and pulled his soon-to-be lover against his chest, chuckling slightly in his ear. "Havoc wants to hurt you in any way possible, and he'll lie about my intentions to do so. Don't believe him, Ed. I'm not playing any kind of game with you. Everything I said was true. And... I don't want you to get hurt or change your mind after we've... done something."

"Why do you think I'll decide I don't want it afterwards?" Ed asked, tone tinged with nearly-concealed hurt. "Do you not trust me? Do you think I don't know what I want? I've always known what I want, and you know that. So why are you doubting it now?"

"Because, Ed... this is different than all that. It's bigger and more important than most of that." The general sighed and shook his head, then continued, "What I mean is, you might think that this is really what you want, and then it'll turn out that it's not. So I wanted to give you some time to be sure."

"I'm sure. I'm absolutely sure. I've thought about it long before yesterday, so I know."

"We should get back before Hawkeye decides to kill me. We can finish this at home."

"As if that isn't an over-used line." But he huffed off back to the office behind Roy.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"Are you through in there?" came a deep voice over the loud spray of the shower. Fingers threaded through golden strands, suds all over his hair and skin, a certain alchemist twisted to glare at the door. "You've been in there for fucking ages!"

"We have been through this! My hair is thick and it takes forever to wash. It's not my fault!" When there was no reply, he was surprised. He'd expected the suggestion of cutting his hair, but maybe Roy didn't want him to.

"Would you at least open the door so I can go to the bathroom?" was the request after a long silence. Considering, Ed slid his fingers through his hair, rinsing the shampoo out. After a few moments, he dropped his hands and reached out from behind the curtain to search blindly for a stark white towel to cover himself with when he went to open the door.

"You just want to see me naked, wet, and soapy." he called back, finding one and stepping out to wrap it around his waist. He opened the door to reveal a grinning, dark-haired general.

"That's just a bonus." Roy replied coyly, sliding his arms around a slick waist. Edward yelped in surprise, catching the towel that was slowly descending from his hips (it had come loose and begun to slip.) Lips pressed against his forehead, then the tip of his nose, and finally his lips. "Why would you go and do a thing like that?" His cheeks heated up, but then the arms were gone and he was pissed. "You can return to your shower now." Ed growled and stomped back to the mat in front of the tub.

"Fucking tease." he snarled. The towel hit the ground and he clambered back into the tub.

"You know you love it." the general replied, turning. Which had been a mistake, considering he'd hear the automail hit something hard. His downstairs brain was very interested in what he saw, though: A firm, round ass just before it disappeared behind the shower curtain.

"Quit staring."

"I was no-"

"Yes you were."

Pause. "How'd you know?"

"Because you're a filthy pervert. And I just know." The shower turned back on. Roy groaned quietly. "Don't complain. You're the one who said no sex."

"When did I say that?" he asked, blinking as if in confusion. A wet head, (harhar, like my joke?) complete with hair that was dripping and still full of soap suds, appeared from behind the curtain, frowning.

"When have you not said it?" After a moment, the face broke out into a grin, and a steel index finger beckoned to him silently. "Do you want it?"

"Mhm." the general hummed, not quite trusting his voice.

"Then come take it." Then the curtain was jerked shut, and he heard a chuckle from behind it. His clothes hit the ground before the plastic had settled and he followed the gorgeous blond in.

"About damn time. What took you so long?" aforementioned blond complained. Almost instantly, there were fingers in his hair, a mouth on his, and he was being tugged back. He heard metal connect loudly with hard tile, and he knew that the younger man had backed up against the cool wall. But the tongue probing against his was rather distracting and he couldn't really bring himself to care. His own free hands hefted the blond's legs up and wrapped them around his waist. The other responded by rubbing eagerly against him, and it was damn sexy. Not quite as sexy as the sounds Ed was making, though; he was already moaning and grunting, whining and whimpering. Now, these could just be to turn him on more so he wouldn't be able to keep up the games for long, or the blond had been aching for it since last night- possibly before.

And then teeth dug into his lip and tugged, fingers teasing his right nipple, and he didn't give a flying fuck why. Because Edward was here, pinned between him and a wall, slick and wet, and that was what mattered.

"You want it, Ed?"

A whine. A wriggle. A gasp.

"You want it bad?"

A jerky nod. A whimper. A plead.

Edward Elric... was pleading for something. Something from him. What kind of man would he be if he refused such a request?

One hand slid down along the curve of Edward's ass, tips of his middle and index fingers near his entrance. Another gasp, then his fingers were being pressed down against. A smirk worked its way onto his face. The blond never had been patient, had he?

"Come ooooo~n, Roy. That's not what I want and you know it." he whined, wriggling again so the fingers dug in. "I don't need preparing. I just want you."

"I don't want to hurt you, Ed." the general said truthfully, even though he really just wanted to go at it.

"You won't. Didn't I tell you Havoc only ever wanted to fuck?" he moaned, grinding down against the fingers that were just barely penetrating his entrance. He made an attempt at spreading his legs even wider, trying to get those teasing fingers to go deeper. Of course, fingers weren't enough, but they were part of who he did want, and it was the only part he was getting at the moment. "If you can get two fingers in me- scissored- with no problem, then forget about prepping anymore. Okay?"

"Fine." Roy agreed, though begrudgingly. He placed a hand on the wall to hold himself up, then moved the hand on Ed's rear so he could slip the first finger in all the way.

"Next." was the immediate response. No writhing, no having to relax, no adjusting. Just... next. So he quickly moved the other finger inside along with the other. "Scissor." the blond ordered, not even grimacing.

What the hell? Did he and Havoc really have sex that often? He always seemed so oblivious... like he'd already ever done it. the general thought in astonishment, pulling his fingers apart- both ways, just to be sure. No response. At least, not the negative one he'd been expecting. Instead, it was very much on the positive side, considering how Ed arched against his chest, ground his hips down against the fingers in a way that rubbed against Roy just right, and a loud whimper slipped off of his lips and toyed with his lover's arousal.

"Now?" There was a hint of begging to the one-word question. Again with the begging. No way he could deny that. So he nodded, sliding his fingers out, and brought that hand up to Ed's hip. Holding the wriggling body was an impossible feat; no matter what, the blond wouldn't stay still. He was forced to hold him as steady as he possibly could, and push in when there was a pause in the frantic movement.

Maybe not an entirely possible thing. The moment Roy was completely in him, Ed froze, shivered, and practically melted against the tile wall, heels digging into his lover's back.

"You like it?"

"Are we really going to do this again?" the younger man whined, rocking his hips.

"I was hoping we could."

"Just move before you kill me." He rocked again, and the other man's willpower failed. He thrust; Ed's head flew back against the tile, but he didn't even seem to care that the resounding Crack! meant he'd hit it too hard. His automail fingers pushed through dark hair, nails digging into pale skin on Roy's back. "Going too slow." he complained, panting.

"So demanding." But he sped up anyways, because Ed wasn't the only one who wanted it. He knew he hit that perfect little spot inside the smaller body when his partner practically screeched something unintelligible. He smirked, nosing the side of Ed's neck as his thrusts steadily increased, getting closer. Ed was panting and moaning and screaming above him, tossing his head.

"OH GOD OOOOOOO~H RIGHT THERE! YES, ROOOOOOO~Y!" His hips were bucking, grinding against him in a way that shouldn't work but did. He bit his lip, working hard to come up with a single thought that he knew was very important. "C-Come with m-me." he asked, lifting his head to stare intently at his partner, eyes glazed with lust.

"Wh-whatever y-you want." the general panted, leaning down so he could lick and tease the other's nipple. The blond squeaked, arched, and panted something that sounded rather like 'Cuuuu, cuuuu, cuuuu.' Roy got the idea, nodded his head against his lover's chest. Ed's inner walls tightened around him, and he suddenly fell absolutely silent. Seconds later, he released inside his partner, letting out a grunt in the crook where automail shoulder met flesh neck. They panted, both coming down from the high, before the older man pulled out and set his lover on his feet.

Which turned out to be a completely futile attempt, as the young alchemist proceeded to slide down the wall until he was sitting and simply… stare. And then he smiled. It was so content and relaxed that Roy hated to move him, but the water was turning cold. So he sighed exasperatedly, though there was a smile on his face.

"Let's get you out of here before you wind up drowning yourself." When the only reply he got was a small chuckle and a widened smile, he hauled his lover out of the tub, turning the water off and then drying them both off with a towel. "Lazy," the general commented when the other made no move to stand up. He rolled his eyes and heaved the naked alchemist up, looking with fake disapprovement at him.

"Take me to your bed." Edward finally mumbled, patting a strong, bare chest before laying his head on it.

"At least you didn't say 'Take me to your leader.'" But he carried the smaller man out of the door they'd forgotten to close earlier and down the hall.

"You already did." was the reply, and then Ed's flesh hand pointed down.

"Haha, you're so funny." Ungracefully, he dropped the other on the bed, then turned to leave again. A cool hand closed around his wrist and tugged him back so hard that he tripped and fell backwards onto the bed.

"Stay with me." It was a request he couldn't deny. Partly because of the automail hand still holding tightly to his arm.

"Fine, fine, fine. You are so demanding and needy." he mumbled, pulling the covers over them and snuggled close to the still-limp body in the bed.

"You love me."

"Mhm. Go to sleep."

There was silence for a few moments. Ed nuzzled his nose under Roy's chin, making a content sound.

"I have a question."

"What is it?"

"What the hell took you so long?"

Bahahaha! Personally, I love that last line. That's why I left it there. Anyways, that was the end of this story. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, or if you had any problems with it... shove it up your ass 'cause I don't give a flying fuck. ='D

Aren't I such a lovely person? xD You should leave me reviews and let me hear your thoughts on the story... and my personality. So... REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Or I shall quit writing. Forever. ='D

Ciao!

hugs&kisses~ Madarao