Chapter 3: Day 1, Part 2
A/N: I can't speak French guys! So Google Translate will have to do.
Japan had done the smart thing and got a map and a pen to cross out the many, many stores they'd been to. So far everyone they asked about a key looked at them like they were insane. Whenever it was a girl, they set Italy on her, when it was a guy, Germany. Even with the various tactics they'd used they'd been to seventeen stores already and no one had even the slightest clue as to where the damn key was. For all they knew it wasn't even in the mall. But no one wanted to think about that.
The groups on the bottom floors had taken care of the big two-level stores so at least that wasn't on the daunting to do list.
They were currently in Hometown China making a beeline for the checkout counter.
"Excuse me, bella signora, do you happen to know anything about a key?" Germany and Japan stood back, watching the man work his magic.
Come on, come on. Please know something… They watched the magic fail once again with a shake of the woman's head and Italy nearly had the "black cloud of depression" over his head as he trudged back to them.
Japan simply scratched out another store on the map and they kept on moving.
-Line Break-
They should have known from the beginning that unleashing the Bad Touch Trio on an innocent American mall was a bad idea. No store clerk was safe- male or female- from the three Europeans.
France, Spain, and Prussia had been trailblazing through their section of the mall, splitting up within their sector to cover more ground faster.
The problem was, some people didn't like their… forwardness. Long Story short France was currently being held by mall security but had the "I regret nothing" expression on. So it was just the two of them going door to door asking for a simple key they knew nothing about for a reason they knew nothing about.
Spain was currently in Yankee Candle talking it up with the cashier about the different scents, even after she declined knowing where the key was. At that moment Prussia walked by the window and backpedaled to wordlessly drag the Spaniard out of the store, apologizing with a salute to the kind lady at the counter who just waved.
"Kesesese, you're looking good, Toni." Prussia said, clapping him on the shoulder with pride.
"Gracias, mi amigo. Have you found it yet?" The albino sadly shook his head.
"Nein, but I did talk to a lovely hostess at the Cheesecake Factory who was drooling over my awesome accent."
"Americans, so easy. What do we have left?" Antonio dug the map out of his back pocket and checked over it. "I have… Coach and Gymboree left."
"Really? Wow, even without Francy-pants we're done fast. I just finished my last one." They left to the two final stores, not really expecting to find anything.
-Line Break-
"I'm not going in there."
"Come on Mattie, it won't be that bad."
"Al, I'm not walking in there. You do it."
"Be a man, bro! At least it's not that Intimacy place on the top floor. Imagine Ivan walking in there!"
The two of them stood outside Victoria's Secret. The hot pink she-demon den had two whole stores in one mall, so someone else had to suffer this with them at least. But that provided Canada with very little comfort.
It's not like anyone would recognize him or anything but still. That place was for girls or guys with girlfriends- neither of which fit the Canadian.
"Just don't tell anyone alright?"
"Relax dude, either Ludwig, Kiku, or Feli had to go in the other one. I'm pretty sure none of them want to bring it up either."
I can do this. I can… do this. He squared his shoulders and crossed the threshold, determined to not look at the various scandalous lingerie literally everywhere or the various females attacking each other over them.
England better be enjoying the Apple store. He thought bitterly, trying to avoid touching anything. Just make it to the counter. It's ten feet dead ahead. It seemed the Murphy was not letting him skate through scot free, because a woman that should not have been shopping there backed into him and he fell back onto a massive pile of panties.
They're touching me! Get it off! Get it off! The woman turned to see a very panicked Canada mentally flipping out.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." She held out a hand and he graciously took it, brushing himself off.
"M-Merci beaucoup." He stuttered, frantic mind reverting to French.
Her eyes lit up, "De rien." She answered, walking away.
Canada was still red in the face upon reaching the counter.
"Are you alright sir?" The woman at the counter asked, having seen the entire thing.
France can never know about this. Ever. "U-um yes. I am now. Do you know anything about a key? Maybe dropped off in the mall sometime this morning or earlier in the week?"
She thought for a second before shaking her head. "No, I'm sorry. But I did hear someone talking about having to let some guys in suits in before the mall opened yesterday."
Good enough! "Thank you." He said, taking extra care to watch his feet upon leaving the store, leveling it equivalent to that of a minefield.
Thankfully, America didn't see the incident and just gave him a comforting hug when he returned. "It's okay, you did great in there."
"The lady said the mall let guys in suits in yesterday morning before they opened. Meaning we're probably not all wasting our time walking around this place."
"That's great! Come on, Arthur just headed over to the British store on the other side, we've still the rest of the floor to cover." The twins started walking again, heading toward The Limited and far, far away from the pink menace.
-Line Break-
The cashier at American Eagle watched as a tall Russian man, grumpy Italian man, and dour Chinese… man? Walked through the doors of the store and headed straight for her. Definitely the oddest trio she'd ever seen.
Immediately the Italian switched attitudes upon seeing her, "Ah, bella signora, I was wondering if you could help me with something." He flashed the best smile he could, also the one he'd been using all day, hoping this time it would get somewhere.
She smiled back, then stopped faking. "Yeah, it isn't going to work, dude. I've got a boyfriend from Spain."
For his part, Romano's guise didn't falter, even after China and Russia chuckled in the background. He asked the same question he'd been asking all day, and received the same answer he'd been receiving all day- nada.
As fast as they appeared they were gone, leaving a very bored cashier behind.
"Next customer!"
-Line Break-
"Alright, this is the last row of stores. The damn key has to be here somewhere." England and the twins had met up after they'd cleared their sections to cover the last three stores on their floor.
Canada cheerily entered the Build-A-Bear, mumbling something about Kumayana while America walked off to the hat store, Lids, leaving England with Kay. The jewelry store was busy that day, all floor staff were assisting real customers so England just stood there waiting for one to finally notice him.
Just as he was about to get incredibly impatient, America ran up to him with Canada right behind him holding something in his hand.
"We got it!" The blonde cheered, stepping aside so Canada could show off the piece of metal they'd been searching two hours for.
The key was an aged brass, shiny on parts that had been worn down with use. It looked at least a hundred years old, possibly belonging to either a chest of drawers or maybe an old trunk. It was rather unassuming overall, nothing special.
"Well it's about bloody time, I'd say. Tell the others yet?" He was already creating a group text when the two said no.
"Come on, let's head back to the entrance, it's gonna take a while for the others to get here."
"Wait." England really looked at the key for once and saw something etched in the side. "There's something written here." America none too graciously ripped the key from his grasp and examined it himself.
"1 8 0 3. A date maybe? D'you think the other keys will be the same?" Whether or not the other keys would contain clues wasn't the question they should have been asking. They should have been asking just how long America's boss- if it even had been just him- had been planning this little excursion.
On the way back America bought himself and Canada one of those big soft pretzels covered in cinnamon while they waited. It didn't take too long and once everyone reunited Canada passed the key around for everyone to see. They quickly got someone to take their picture with the key in front of a mall sign for proof, the photographer raising an eyebrow at the odd request.
"Of course America, myself, Italy, and Russia are the only ones smiling." Canada said, noticing how everyone else just looked either bored or pissed to be there.
"So we have one key down, twelve more to go." China said once they'd gotten back in the RV.
America read the packet for their next destination, "The closest suggested campsite is about six hours from here if traffic is good. If we want to make good time I say a very fast lunch on the road so we can set up camp before it gets too dark out."
"We are not getting fast food, America." France declared, almost daring someone to challenge him.
"I didn't say that, but we don't have time for a sit-down meal. Look, not all my fast food restaurants are terrible- why not Chick-fil-A? It's got real meat and everything!"
"It's still fried food."
"They have grilled!"
"Arguing about it will get us nowhere!" Germany yelled. "I've eaten there before one of the last times we had a meeting over here- I'll vouch for it if it means we get moving."
So that was how, nearly forty minutes later, they all sat around the RV tossing waffle fries at each other and drowning themselves in lemonade. No one shoved their pride and actually admitted it was good food, but America didn't need to hear it to see it clearly written on their faces.
"Pittsburg here we come."
A/N: Yes, King of Prussia and its mall are both real places in Pennsylvania. And all fast food restaurants have equal merit, ish. I still need suggestions West of Kentucky else the butchering will continue. It's obviously not the full clue but you can still guess!