Against Doctor's advice

by Miggyrow

In which Meredith makes a disturbing discovery, in which Derek's will is opened and chaos ensued, in which someone is in dire need of medical attention, in which Alex and Jo are surprisingly still a thing, in which Maggie is asked out in the most awkward circumstances, in which Amelia and Owen decide to take the next step together, in which Christina has two lovers.

3. The lies we tell ourselves

-3-

The quiet lies we tell ourselves

Unstoppable – Sia

We know that youth vanishes in a strange way. It just won't happen in one day. Nope, you need to trust that it is a slow and tender progression, and it mostly happened without you ever remembering how it all started to begin with. One day you wake up in that adult body with all these new responsibilities, these new set of goals, this dangerous awareness that the end might be near. Your heart is hardened through battle and hardships. Things had happened to you. Even if you know that, it would be damn near impossible to explain to anyone what exactly changed. Well, life goes on, uncertain; an inconstant stream of hazard and choices, and sometimes it comes to mind that we must enjoy it while we can. Some other time, we are just too afraid and we cling on the idea, the powerful idea, that nothing has changed and that we are still young.

Meredith Grey told herself that it was not shame. She was not even trying to be that discreet, climbing the stairs to the Grey home on the tip of her toes, her high-heel boots abandoned in the closet dresser downstairs. It was almost midnight with a full moon. The suburban world outside was quiet and still deep in sleep. Meredith grimaced as one of the steps creaked under her feet. She froze and looked over her shoulder anxiously before resuming her short trek to the first floor.

Three little months ago, she made a resolution to stop wallowing in self-pity. She wanted to get rid off the sad widow's etiquette people had pinned on her back like the scarlet letter. Obviously, she still missed him and the simple thought of having to spend the rest of her life without him will be forever sickening to her. But some people had more problems than her... So she thought she at least owed it to the rest of the world to try and fix her shit together and get better at this solo thing. She was on her own.

It finally sunk in. Yes, it did.

Despite the induced nausea, she could very well live without Derek Shepherd. It was not too bold a statement considering she's pretty much done it for a year and a half now. Meredith breathed in the delicious Jasmine aroma coming from the garden. She let go of her hair, scratching her neck. It barely reached her shoulders. She cut it three months earlier like she promised herself. It felt great... just like shedding an old skin. Meredith looked around her. Hundreds memories still clung to these walls. She could remember him here when they were fresh and young... and maybe a bit silly.

" Oh my mother' s not dead. She's... you know what? We don't have to do the thing.

- - Oh. We can do anything you want.

- - Not the thing. Exchange the details, pretend we care. Look I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower. Okay and when I get back down here, you won't be here. So... um... goodbye... uh...

- - Derek.

- - Derek. Right, Meredith.

- - Meredith.

She remembered when they were staring at each other like they were some kind of accident waiting to happen again, as if there was a troubling emergency, as if they were something new and fascinating and... that smile she couldn't keep off her lips. What was she thinking then? It could have... maybe should have ended there. But it didn't.

- - Yeah. Mmmhmm.

- - Nice meeting you.

That smile of his... He could get anything from her with it. She couldn't even do a simple thing to help herself on that day. She couldn't even close the door on him. No, she stood there wishing he moved, wishing he made that choice for them. Then when really, all hope was gone, she ran off to the bathroom.

- - Bye Derek."

It was supposed to be the end of it all.

We all know how that turned out.

Meredith didn't want to dwell on the past anymore. He was gone. She had to clean up that closet. Yup, she literally had to clean up Derek's closet, and put his stuffs into square boxes and tried to turn the pages of that chapter in her life.

It happened just two weeks after Warren was gone. She gathered everyone together around a nice lunch. Then around dessert, she invited them to pick whatever they wanted into the pile of dusty junk that was Derek and Meredith's married life. She donated a lot of stuff on that day. She forced Alex to take all his shoes. They were the same size and it would have been a waste to just throw them in the trash. And then Owen dropped by, Meredith was almost over with the whole process already. So, she gave Derek's fishing and hunting equipment to Cristina's ex. And that was it, the deed was done. She just had five boxes left and the boys moved them in the garage. Amelia got what she wanted, a full box of Derek's albums and some other stuff from when they were children. There were all doing okay until came the time to say goodbye and Amelia wanted to talk to her. Things turned sour and bitter then. Amelia wanted to buy the house. Meredith didn't quite understand her request at first. It seems, Owen and Amelia wanted to start a family in her house. Owen was telling her to think about all the advantages or something like that. Amelia said she would take great care of her brother's memento. Honestly, Amelia was talking too much like always. Meredith was not in a selling mood. She may have denied Amelia's request a little too harshly. They argued a bit. No, Amelia said her piece. Amelia got loud. Amelia got in her face. Meredith stood there coldly and simply asked her to leave... Maybe she said to never come back again... Maybe she said that they were not sisters... that they were nothing for each other... Honestly, she didn't really remember who said what? She just knew she was in such a mood afterwards that she almost revoked Owen's right to stay on her land when he tried to defend his girlfriend. But Alex, Maggie and Callie managed to talk her out of it. They didn't exactly speak since that day. They were not really sisters since that day. She did something to Amelia it seems and it was long before Amelia even asked for Meredith's "crappy" gift. Meredith did something and she never apologized for it. It helped that she didn't know what exactly she did. It helped that she didn't care about it. She sincerely could not care less about anything since Derek's things were in five boxes in the garage and her whole body felt like it was all kind of wrong. Meredith just stood there, half-broken again, until Callie offered to fix her whole with her own special brand of Margarita. It didn't really work but hey... At least, she tried. After Amelia's departure, they exchanged some more memories. They cried some more. They laughed some more. Even if they didn't stay the night, the children were happy to play around in their old room. Despite the Amelia incident, it had been nice to be back just for that brief moment.

Just for a brief moment.

She never went back there again. These past months, she had been pretty busy taking over the General surgery department for Bailey. She had been busy trying to juggle the kids and everything else. Maybe it just hadn't feel like it was the right time. Maybe it was something else. Who knew?

Three little months and she could feel tissue scars all over that wound, she was healing. It may still hurt like hell at times. But she was doing better but life had a way to remind her at times just how much someone up there hated her and her stupid goofy smile. April disappeared. In the midst of all that happened, her friend just left, vanished, without saying goodbye, without even taking her things, leaving a trail of anxious unanswered questions behind her. There was so many things Meredith was unsure of these days. What if she talked to April on that day? What if she really took the time? She had been so absorbed in her grief. In her way, she was still wrapped up in it, still fighting the melancholia, wishing that maybe, just maybe she could got back to the Meredith that was young and fresh and ready to love.

Life also got so messy on its own. This thing became her thing and she just didn't know why. She just knew she needed to be out of that house from time to time, relieving her tensions. She just knew she needed this thing no matter how temporary and unsatisfying it was.

Maybe that was his fault.

Warren.

Maybe he did something to her and she was losing her damn mind trying to replicate that fleeting feeling of completion she felt that night. She'd sucked at trying to decipher these things. Anyway, it's not like they kept in touch. Okay, that wasn't entirely true. They exchanged texts for weeks after that. He sent her a picture of his Medical Center captioned "My home". She sent him a picture of a Pectus Excavatum in the OR, she captioned "A day at work". He sent her a picture of his dog pooping on his sofa. She sent a picture of Ellis's diapers on a Friday. Then, the texts gradually came less frequently. And to be fair, she felt sort of relieved at that. She really didn't need to turn whatever they had into something. She was not even a little bit sad about it. She liked this brief thing they had going on. It seemed she needed that, to lose what she calls now, her widow's cherry. He would always be the guy who took that special cherry of hers. It had been nice and satisfying. He was a good lover. She was reminded at how good she was herself. She could perfectly go on with her life after that.

She looked through the glass door. Maggie was sleeping across the bed quite ungracefully. Meredith smiled at the familiar sight. Well, she probably needed to make amends to her sister. She knew Maggie had meant well when she offered to help her with the renovation costs. She also knew Maggie worked hard to be the head of cardio. She probably deserved every good thing that came with the status. She opened Zola's room and tucked her daughter back under the cover, picking up a few toys on the floor on her way out. She dropped everything in the toy box quietly. She smiled. It felt rather good to be at home. She checked on Ellie and Bailey. Bailey's bed was empty. She crossed rapidly the hallway to get to her bedroom. Bailey immediately bolted upright as she opened the door.

"Hey baby!"

He yawned. He had grown so much in a couple of weeks.

"You're late Mommy..."

"I know... I was busy... at the hospital... You should get back to sleep."

"Why you smell so good?" He asked and Meredith was tempted to roll her eyes.

"I...put on some... perfume. Your daddy gave it to me."

"It's too much...It stinks... I don't like it."

Meredith frowned comically.

"Okay, I will not... do it again. I guess."

"But you always do it... Then you sneak back into your bed...and pretend you never left the house but you did. We should tell someone before you get grounded at work." Bailey said, looking very concerned.

Meredith's face was priceless. She bit her lips not to laugh. Bailey did not look like he was joking though. He had his shepherd's game face on. As he got older, he was looking like his dad more and more.

"What? I... don't... sneak... "

"You have nightmares, so you take strolls. I understand Mommy. I'm the same."

"Oh!"

"I don't take strolls...though." He said.

"Good, you should never get out of this house without an adult. Understand?"

Bailey nodded firmly, his arms across his chest. It almost reminded her of Thatcher ! Meredith quietly sat down on the bed.

"I have nightmares too."

"I'm sorry about that. I thought it was getting better."

"Not really... I try not to cry anymore because I'm big now."

"But you're my baby... You will always be my baby. I don't want you to hurt... You can tell Mommy if you're hurt. It's okay."

" I don't want to cry. It's useless. I don't want to make Daddy sad where he is..."

The smile faded on her face. Meredith looked into his baby blue eyes.

" Bailey, he is really proud of you whatever you do, you know that."

Bailey shrugged.

"He loved you so much."

"But he is gone..."

"It wasn't his choice."

"Doesn't matter... Can we watch cartoons? I'm not really sleepy anymore."

"Alright! But you always say that... and then you always fall asleep... and you won't wake up in the morning."

"Mommy, you're no better. You should stay home even when the nightmare hurts. It's dangerous outside."

"You're right, wise mouth. I will try... I won't do it again. You're really a Shepherd, just like your Daddy... Nothing gets past you. No one gets a pass."

Bailey shrugged again. It was not his fault if he was just a very rational clever boy.

"Cartoon it is then!"

She picked up the remote and flicked through the channels. But Meredith froze when she reached a CNN special. The title read "A decades of oppressed photojournalism". It was succession of archive footage from various author. It was then that a younger version of Warren stood behind a reading desk while a horde of journalists was waiting for him. Meredith frowned. She saw him hesitate. He looked up at that camera before looking down again. When he finally did spoke, he did it with a tone so foreign, Meredith had to double-check twice that it was really him.

"...Dyshiki... I mean... Lloyd was... He was an amazing individual. He could stir people into action with the strength of his vision. He believed since he was a kid that the world was a beautiful place. He just couldn't get enough of it. With a pen or a camera, he wanted to represent it in all its glory with a blunt honesty that could not hide the love and passion he had for it. It is with the deepest sadness that my family and I learned today of the authorities decision to declare my brother Lloyd "Dyshiki" Paul Fresker legally presumed dead. Despite the pain it brought us, my family is grateful for this country, our beloved country, doing everything humanly possible to bring Lloyd back, to his wife, his children... We are forever indebted to all the people who express their supports and that entailed the strong voice of the international community. Thank you."

" I'm really sorry. You really didn't answer the question, Dr Fresker? Do you really believe that your brother is dead? Why? What was the authorities' take on what happened to him? "

Warren looked up from the paper he was reading to stare coldly at that journalist. Meredith felt a tear on her neck. She silently breathed in.

" We have to assume that beyond any reasonable doubt, my brother died doing what he love the most..."

"I understand your grief, Dr Fresker. I'm sorry to have to insist. But what if your brother was still alive out there?" The woman insisted.

He said nothing but Meredith could see the turmoil in his eyes. Dead is dead.

"What proof do you have? There is a rumor about a video surfacing showing your brother and his captors... It is more than a rumor even. I have seen the video! After expertise, we could trace it back to just a couple of weeks ago. Do you know anything about this? Do you know who send it to the authorities? Are there more videos out there? Why weren't them made public then? People who admired your brother's work want to know the truth."

Warren stood in that same position.

"That would be all. Thank you very much. "

"Mommy, I wanna watch Cartoons... You promise!"

Meredith came out of her dazed state to look at Bailey to her sides.

"Sorry... I just saw someone I thought I knew on tv."

"You don't know him...now..."

"No...not really. I don't think I ever knew him really."

She finally put on the kid channel.

"I love this one. I used to watch it with Daddy all the time."

Meredith smiled back as she got under the cover with Bailey. She dropped her phone and pager on the side-table. She sighed with a smile. She had everything she needed just right here. Embracing Bailey, she settled comfortably.

"I know." She kissed his temple.

I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today [x3]
I'm unstoppable today

Warren reached for his second beer in the cooler, twinkling his naked toes on the sandy shore. He took off his tie with one hand. Just a few meters from him, The Sidibe silently rolled against the wave with a distinct grace, with the sleek balance of white-and-transparent fiberglass so many modern cruisers harbored these days. The boat was at least twenty years old but was a secondhand and had a bloody history to boot since its first owner died caught in the propeller during a swim. Dyshiki had found the story fascinating and strangely amusing. Needless to say, he didn't even negotiate the price. It's not like he was paying. Dyshiki had that special brand of cynicism developed by years of traveling through war zones. He could report to you with a straight face untold human savagery, never losing his appetite over the most gruesome details. He would have made for a great surgeons if he had been less intellectually lazy and restless. When you witness a UN helicopter saving her few expensive paintings from a blazing foreign embassy while civilians are still roasting inside, when you saw this kind of things, you practically could scream you've seen it all, you were immune for life against the hypocrisy of men. Not that Dyshiki and him ever needed further proof that the world was screwed with the childhood they had. The wind blew softly in the dark, and the waves broke on the shore with more violence. He could smell the rain in the air. Still, he loved that inherently screwed up world with all his being, in all its grisly beauty.

His phone beeped to signal an incoming message from Meredith. There was a picture of Dyshiki in his best reporter without borders attire, captioned "Dead is dead?"

He didn't need to know where she learned that. It didn't even come to his mind to question why she would send him a message so late or why she would choose to bring his dead brother as a way to break the ice between them after so many weeks of silent treatment.

"I miss you." He texted.

It was the truth. He did miss her. He missed her bluntness, and her hips, and the sometimes salty moisture on her neck, and her propensity for attracting disasters all around her. He also missed Seattle Grey Sloan in a weird way.

"I did not. Not at all in fact. "

He smiled.

"Liar."

"Are you asleep? Did I wake you?"

"I'm watching Sidibe."

"Who is that?"

"My best girl and you..."

"I'm watching my son..."

"Name?"

"Bailey. He is almost 3 years old. Are you drunk?"

"I am. "

"I'm not."

"I pity you."

"Still missing me?"

"Like crazy."

" How's your wife?"

"My wife?"

"You must have a wife. She must be as beautiful as she is naïve...You're a cheating bastard."

"I don't have a wife. Is that why you didn't text me back?"

"No, I did not text you because I worked hard."

"Is working the only thing that's keeping you from texting to your friends?"

"We are not friends."

"You are breaking my heart."

"Who is Sidibe then?"

"My boat."

"Right? Really?"

"Really."

" Sorry. You're not a cheating bastard."

" Or maybe I am."

"Are we going to talk about your brother? Your very dead brother..."

"Nope."

"That's rude. I told you everything about my dead husband."

"How is he doing by the way?"

"Well, then goodnight Warren."

"Goodnight Meredith."

The windows were large like a store-front, glazed and so clear that New York stood below in high definition, so close and so distant at once. The sky was an opaque map with no stars and no clouds. The people filled the streets endlessly, going about their various businesses in this city that never sleep. Police sirens could be heard far away. The penthouse on the seventh floor was dimly-lit. Candle lights drew heavy shadows on the walls. The door of the bedroom was ajar. The bed in the left corner was empty. Moans and cries obstructed the serenity of the place.

Her prey was squirming in its shackles. The ropes were intricately tied around her body, pinning the slender blonde to the cross on the wall. Vika tilted her head in silent concentration, wearing nothing but leather boots with razor-sharp heels. Her body came into the yellow light, the shadows framing the rough drawings on her skin. She stood in front of the small desk putting down the whip with other various eccentric tools. She grabbed the automatic machine gun with a smile and walked slowly to her victim. She stopped to charge the ammunition, a rather large vibrating dildo.

Vika playfully shook her head, seemingly changing her mind as she went back to her station to drop the gun. She walked again to the blonde and grabbed her face with one hand, slapped her breasts with the other. The mirth in her eyes had turned into something akin to lust and depravation.

"I swear I will do whatever you want for the rest of my life...Whatever you want...just ask... You're making me crazy. I'm crazy, Mistress. Help me."

Vika kissed her open mouth softly, sucking her tongue hard.

"Your mistress will go down on you. What do you say, little bitch?" She said caressing Reid's legs.

"Thank you!" She whispered barely able to form a coherent thought as a wave of pleasure hit her, leaving her body convulsing.

A few hours later, the blond came out of the shower first, leaving Vika behind to enjoy a slow running tantalizingly hot shower. She pulled on a satin kimono and sat on the bed, wiping her hair with a towel.

She was lighting a cigarette when Vika reappeared in tight jeans and a black shirt, carrying a pizza box with her. Reid let out a deep laugh as it was typical of Vika to make a beeline for the fridge as soon as her other needs were satiated. The two women sat facing each other on the bed.

"You're so good at this."

"I know..." Vika said shrugging.

It would be kind of lame if she sucked at this very thing she loved so much.

Reid leaned with a taunting smile.

"Sharing?"

"I'm famished. Why don't you go grab something else?" Vika said, her mouth full.

"You're always famished, Vik. You don't always share."

"Then you should know not to ask..."

Vika straightened up and stretched her legs lightly.

"I missed you so much. I can't believe you stopped... And why? Why did you stop? You're not Slutty Cinderella. Warren is definitely not fucking Prince Charming! That guy is an ass by all human being standards. "

"He saved your life."

"Well, he did but I had to stop working then. So I kinda hate him a bit... a lot. He is a demanding asshole."

"He saved your life and you have a pretty functioning vagina, I might add. He did some of his most amazing work there. It's a work of beauty really. I was still in med school. I'm still disappointed I didn't get to scrub in on that procedure."

"Well... I'm pretty pleased with his work. But..."

"What but?"

" Did he think I didn't have bills to pay? Did he think this wonderful loft in the big Apple came as a free gift from one of my many suitors? Does he think my life is glamorous like that?"

"It is a gift from Pietrov. The asshole is in jail and your life is indeed very glamorous compared to our humble beginnings. I say we did well for ourselves. Let's not ruin it by complaining. You look old when you pout, Reid. Remember, Warren did call NYU for you... And then you got your daughter back."

"He can be... nice... It's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying he is not likeable. He is... He is very likeable. But I don't want to like him. He took you away from me. I won't forgive him. Now I lost my golden goose and I have to go back to school."

"Did you just call me a goose? Do you want me to spank you again, you bad girl."

"I'm not ungrateful but I'm not like you. I don't need school. I don't need a degree to know who I am."

"True, you're an awesome businesswoman."

" Damn right. Business is running fine. Girls come from all over the country so I can shepherd them in the cercle. My client list is only composed of the crème of the crop of society. I'm the best in this town."

"Yes, but...now you're all legal, thanks to him. Almost legal... "

"Okay, but eventually I would have thought of that... I'm smart."

"Yes, you are."

"We make real money here. Give me a number. What do they pay you there? I'm sure I'm making twice that."

"It's not difficult. It doesn't pay much to be a resident."

"See..."

"But I'm good, Reid. I get to cut people open for a living and it's perfectly legal too. It' a dream come true."

"This... was your dream and you're the best I've ever seen. You're needed here."

"How is Eve?" Vika changed the subject.

"She is doing great. You want to see a picture. She asked for you all the time." She grabbed her phone on the side table. Vika looked distantly at it.

"That's my little girl. She is very bright. She is in Junior high already. She even got a boyfriend."

"She looks like you. I don't mean that as a compliment."

"Bitch!"

They remained silent for a while after that, both seemingly lost in thoughts.

"Hey Vik, are you happy? Like really happy?"

"Yes, I am."

"I can't believe you."

"Then why ask?"

"You can't be happy. You like your freedom too much. It can't be that easy for you to give that up."

" I gave nothing up. I'm still very much free. I'm here, am I not? Warren and I, it's nothing like you imagined and at the same time it's probably way more."

"What I mean is..."

"I'm free. I don't have a care in the world. I get to have fun. Every day is new. Three months ago, we saved a dying kid's life and it was the most amazing feeling. It was raw and real. I've never felt so alive. "

"I thought he didn't do surgery anymore."

"It wasn't with Warren. It was with... someone else. He is one of the top surgeons in the country."

"Oh, is he? Is he cute?"

Vika avoided her gaze and shrugged.

"Hum... Dunno...I guess he is okay." Vika said, licking her fingers of tomato sauce.

"Oh you fucked him too, didn't you ?!"

Vika shrugged.

" What an ass! He really doesn't give a crap about you! I can't believe it!" Reid burst out.

"Because I'm free to be myself and we are both free to enjoy our life to the fullest. You're not being confusing at all! What happened to you, Reid ! You were not so close-minded before."

"That's not me being close-minded. That's me being your friend... This is wrong."

"Again... that I am free to do whatever I want?"

"That's not what love is about sweetheart... What's love supposed to be! You're not supposed to be free! "

"And you're an expert since when..."

"I don't know a lot of things. I may have made a few mistakes along the way... But I loved baby... I was loved. I had great loves. You're one of them."

" Who said we were in love anyway? Not you and me... But Warren and I... "

"So what is this? Are you two best buddies shacking up together?"

"Maybe..."

"Vika..."

"If you absolutely want to put words on it..."

"I'm just trying to understand here."

"I still heart you something fierce, Reid. But don't try to understand this..."

"Will you move on from him too one day?"

"That's a weird question!?"

"I still want an answer."

"Would it be a comfort to you?"

"Yes, somehow, it would make things easier. It would make some kind of sense."

"Okay... Maybe one day when I get tired of running in circle... I'd leave his ass behind. Happy?"

Reid smiled faintly.

"If only I could believe you!"

"You know why I come back here?"

"Because I'm the only friend in your past you actually keep in touch with..."

"Who needs friends? Friends talk too much and they are annoying..."

"Because I'm amazing in bed?"

"Nine out of ten. I admit but no..."

"Because I was your favorite Boss..."

Vika shook her head.

" Because you know what words like salirophilia means... Please, call me when it's time for graduation at NYU. I love graduation parties... with the dumb studs and all. "

"You're already going?"

"Hum...hum..."

"But it's still early... The sun is not even up yet. We have time for one more session. I promise there won't be any talk about your Prince Charming."

"I don't think so. Can't get caught up in traffic jam. Can't miss my flight. He is gonna kill me if I'm late. "

"You'd love this kind of death. Come on Vika... For old time sake..."

"Like I said, Warren is gonna kill me. He wasn't exactly thrilled when I told him I was hoping in a plane for New York City. I left him he was watching Sidibe. It's never a good sign. I honestly think it's old age. "

"I hate his guts so very much. I want to come one more time, Vika."

"Sorry. Really need to go..."

Vika grabbed her leather jacket and her backpack.

"I know to be a doctor... a surgeon... in the countryside..."

"Annapolis is not the countryside."

"It is by all New-Yorkers standards. Remember who you are."

"Mufasa, come out of that body."

"Go, be a doctor... but don't come crying if your vagina ever dries up. "

"That's rough."

"That's life in the countryside. I know you will get bored eventually. I will be waiting Vika!"

Vika let out a quick snort as she close the door behind her.

"So, you did come in really late last night?"

Meredith jumped out of her reverie. She sleepily looked at her sister who sat on the opposite side of the breakfast table with Bailey and Zola on each side of them. The sun shone through the curtains giving the kitchen a radiant air. But Meredith wasn't about to let herself be lulled by this dreamy scenery, she had a feeling it was going to be a "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" kind of day. She wasn't letting that radiant sunshine outside fool her. So, she almost growled her answer in return, her hand under her chin.

"Well, it wasn't that late... "

She made it home before midnight. She even had time to catch up with an old friend. She was seriously getting good at this thing.

"You look tired..." Maggie said, looking concerned.

Meredith yawned on cue. She didn't get much sleep indeed but this was nothing new to her. Bailey, partially hidden behind his bowl of cereal, winked at her knowingly and it was the most adorable thing she's ever seen.

"I'm fine..."

Maggie swiftly finished her coffee and Meredith noticed for the first time that she tied her hair into a giant bun. She felt a shiver down her spine. Maggie only did this when she couldn't be bother. Was she still mad about last time?

"Oh too bad you have this "Opening of the will" thing! I guess there's no taking advantage of this day off for you!"

Meredith smiled softly. Bailey was making his plastic firefighter lego fake jump in his bowl of cereal. It would be a matter of minute before he did the unthinkable that is to say acting on his impulse. Maggie noticed it too but was probably waiting for Meredith's intervention not wanting to overstep on her boundaries. It reminded her how much she appreciated and valued Maggie's presence. t's true they haven't talked much lately. After the fiasco the other night, which resulted in her ego being trampled, despite what she told Cristina, she kind of retreated into silence. As a result, she was pretty much cold to Maggie all week, probably unfairly even. The perks to being a surgeon and running your own department, is that you didn't even need to find excuses to avoid someone. Chances were your hectic schedule will probably do the trick on itself.

"Right!"

"Derek's mother, Caroline, will be there, huh?"

Meredith nodded.

"Yup."

"She will probably want to see the kids afterwards."

Meredith tensed. She forgot something.

"About that, I invited her for dinner tonight... It must have slipped my mind. Should have told you sooner but I didn't think you would mind."

"No at all. I don't." Maggie said shrugging it off.

"Thanks for your understanding. Anyway, it will probably come complete with the sisters... from Hell. A plane from New York unloaded a bunch of them yesterday... I saw Amelia leave early."

"I can't really believe they're that bad." Maggie smiled.

She was such a naïve soul. Derek's sisters were probably worse than anything she could describe but Meredith was determined to keep that little piece of information to herself. She worked hard to keep that smile plastered on her face. She didn't want Maggie or anyone to know how freaked out she was by the whole thing.

" Don't worry I got everything under control! I will even cook!"

"You don't cook. "

"I know. I know... When I say I will cook, I mean that I will buy something and then pretend I cooked it." She smiled mischievously.

Maggie shook her head with a snarl.

"Won't be your first lie..."

Meredith fell back into silence. Maggie took a bite of her toast.

"I mean it sounds like a wonderful idea. Speaking of...wonderful...idea... How fine was your evening? Did you relax?"

"My evening... Well, it was...just...ok... Like I said..."

Maggie was always so chatty in the morning when the rest of them poor mortals wanted to crawl back in bed.

"What did you do?"

" I met an old friend at the museum."

"Really?"

"Yes... "

"And you guys went to dinner..."

"No... No...Hum... I caught...a movie at the theater. "

"Alone? "

"Alone... I mean... It was nothing planned. It was...on an impulse. I was outside and then... I told myself why not."

"Which movie?"

"Huh... some independent stuffs?"

" There's this wonderful movie with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie forming an odd couple tore apart by the lies they tell each other. It was set on the French Riviera. Was it the one? "

"Oh no! No! It... was not this one. It was some foreign stuffs... I don't remember the name."

"I see. It's crazy we're talking about this really because Alex came by... See, he had this strange notion that you were probably getting your freak on with some stranger in some dark hotel room. Crazy right?"

Meredith's face crumbled like ashes. She looked up in panic. But Maggie but was not making eye contact. With a shrug, Maggie chugged the remnants of her glass of orange juice.

"Maggie..."

" What was even better was that he was convinced I knew? You know since we live together and all."

"It's not what you think."

" I don't think you know what I think since we're not really speaking these days... you and me... No we're not... communicating on a profound level and.. sharing our deep darkest secrets... like sisters..."

" I couldn't tell you..."

" That you were using me! Oh that I understand! Totally!"

" Maggie... It's not..."

" I'm going to be late for work."

" You will not even let me explain?!"

"See, did you let me explain the other time when you shut me out of the conversation without considering my feelings."

Meredith bit her lips. That turned ugly rather quick.

"I guess not. Let me just say we're truly sisters! Our mom must be proud!"

"Maggie, I'm sorry..."

"No, you're not... You just think I'm stupid enough to believe you again this time. Don't let me crush your bubble!"

"Listen..."

" It's okay, Meredith. Have a nice day." She said dropping her bowl in the dishwasher and leaving.

Meredith was still looking at the door long after she was gone. With a plop, Bailey's lego fell into his bowl of milk and drowned itself. Meredith finally turned to her son, who was stretching his arms behind his chair, smiling mischievously.

"Bailey, aren't you gonna finish that?"

" Didn't I tell you mommy that you were gonna be grounded?"

"Yes, you were right, Mr Shepherd. You were right. But if I were you, I'd save Buster the firefighter from drowning, let him dry on your handkerchief while I'd finish my milk. And that's not a suggestion."

"Mommy, you're so funny."

Baltimore airport was like any other airport in the world. It was brimming with the same amount of life 24/7. Her backpack on one shoulder, System of down blasting her headphones, Vika made her way past the sea of blank faces moving in and out of synch towards the exit gates.

"Dr Gucic...right here?"

She didn't look up, simply took the volumes down. It wasn't unusual for him to send a car for her if he couldn't pick her up himself. He must have gotten himself quite drunk while watching Sidibe.

"Where's the car?"

It was when they stopped in front of a yellow Lamborghini that she actually stopped and looked up.

"You..."

"Hello to you to, sunshine? Rough night?"

"Who called you?"

"Warren asked me if I could pick you up this morning. Gave me your flight number and all! You're welcome! "

"The bastard... He is punishing me..." She whispered between gritted teeth.

"What did you say ?"

"Nothing! You didn't have to do that. I could very well take a cab. It's no big deal."

"Sure... but you might be late for your first day. I don't want that at all." Kyle gave her the toothiest grin.

"Whatever you think you're doing... Stop! This... This can't work. You and me, we're a good team... at work... in the relative safety of an OR... with other people looking after us. We're not meant to be buddies. I know you're trying hard. I did everything you ask me to. I wrote your stupid papers about the miracle kid. I gave a conference about the case in D.C. in front of old surgeons. I hate conferences. I pulled some significant amount of hours in your service these past few months. I did my part. Since I was sorry things turned out this way between us... I learned a lot and I thank you for your interest in me, Dr Yeahquo. But little old me belong to General Surgery and Warren. That's all!"

She shrugged. Kyle Yeahquo leaned on the car, staring at her through heavy sunglasses.

" Not anymore."

"What?"

"Not according to the papers I just received in my mail box."

"Papers? What Papers?"

"Get in..."

She was strangely polite these days pretending like nothing ever happened between them.

"No, sir. I asked what papers?"

"These papers..."

"What's that?"

"This is your schedule for today and mine. This little form here is your request for a change in your curriculum. I'm your new resident director. You're officially mine, I'm free to torture you and harass you as I please, Vika. "

"I'm sure those papers don't say that."

"Well, torture and harass is probably not part of the game. But I can get creative; we have all year to make a surgeon out of you. So much work in perspective... Yay! Aren't you the lucky one?"

" Warren is the resident director for general surgery. He did not sign those papers. "

"He resigned and gave me his position. Surprise!"

"I'm sorry what?"

"You heard me..."

"He did not... He wouldn't do this without telling me."

"You're sure? You're really sure he wouldn't do this to you. It seems to me he's been pretty busy trying to keep the hospital from falling apart. Maybe he forgot..."

"That's not... Dammit! I can't believe he did that without telling me."

"Now will you get in! Annapolis is not a twelve-minute ride.

" I don't want you in my life, Kyle. For real, we had fun. Real fun... But I just don't."

"Why? Why must you fight it? Why must you fight it so hard? That's the question you never answered. What is so scary?"

"This...Me... I worked hard... I built myself from scratch... even before I met Warren. I built something... I did all that..."

"I know..."

"You don't know shit! You don't know anything about me... or him."

Kyle never said anything in return.

"Oh Fuck! Fuck him! What's wrong with him? I don't need anyone. For real... I'm good."

"We all need someone, Vika. Maybe I'm the one who needs you, would it make a difference? Listen, to be blunt, I have my reservation on you. Warren didn't exactly ask me how I feel. He kinda assigned me to the job arbitrarily. I'm not complaining. When was he ever wrong, I ask you? That kid is alive because he took a chance on you and me. You know I'm kinda jealous of all that power he has... on people... on you. I never got a real interest in teaching before I met you. You're a great surgeon in the making. You are talented beyond belief. It would be an honor for me to help you get there."

Vika sighed. He didn't get it.

"You don't know what it means. You have no idea what is happening, do you? You don't know."

"Then tell me..."

"I can't...I can't..."

"Vika..."

" No... It's okay. I can do this. I will deal with Warren in time. Okay, I'm your new resident... I can be your resident. It's my fifth year anyway. It doesn't change much."

"I like this positive attitude."

"But I'd rather walk than share a ride with you, Sir."

"That's quite rude."

"See you at work, boss!"

Vika crossed the streets jogging and disappeared in the subway tunnel. His hands in his pocket, Kyle started to laugh.