Embarrassed about your small horns? Feel like everyone's laughing at your tiny-
Sollux changed the channel with an eyeroll, having made himself comfortable on Karkat's couch a while ago. Kanaya sat down in the other recliner, rocking back and forth slowly as she screamed internally. Sollux was here, in Karkat's hive with her. And Karkat's body was in the fucking bathtub. Stay calm, stay calm…
"So…" said Sollux. Kanaya looked back towards him.
"What?"
"I said so."
"So… what?"
"So when did you two discover that you had the hots for each other?" asked Sollux, smirking. Kanaya bit her lip, trying to construct a lie.
"Oh, you know… just… we spoke a great deal one day. Let our feelings known. We found that we loved each other… very very much…"
"Goddamn that's fucking cute," he said, "I'm real proud of you two, seriously. Aradia and I ship the fuck out of you two. Is that weird?"
"Yes," she said, "Indeed it is."
"Well it's the goddamn truth. Ugh, Karkat's taking so fucking long… what is he even doing anyway?"
"He's…" Kanaya had to think quickly! "He's… I can't say."
Sollux turned to look at Kanaya with slight amusement. "You can't say?"
"No."
"Why not?" he asked. "Why are you acting so weird?"
"It's… a surprise…" said Kanaya. "Yes…"
"A surprise? For me? Or for you?"
"For Gamzee." Oh, just how deep is this pit of lies going to be?
"I won't tell Gamzee anything!" said Sollux. "C'mon, tell me!"
Kanaya laughed, playing coy. "Karkat told me not to tell ANYONE. He made me promise. I cannot break a promise like that." Sollux groaned.
"Fine, sheesh… A surprise for Gamzee. It better be worth it, cause hot damn. I don't wanna watch another episode of Desperate Lusii."
Just then, the doorbell rang once more. Kanaya looked to it with surprise. Was that…
"Heh. There's our favorite mutant. Come on, you open the door and I'll show him a REAL surprise," said Sollux, hiding behind the couch. Kanaya stammered in protest, before sighing. Hopefully this would go well…
Kanaya went over to the front door and checked the peephole, finding… no one? That was rather ominous. All Kanaya could see was the outside. She swallowed hard before swinging the door open. No one appeared to be there.
"...I think someone has pulled a fast one," said Kanaya, closing the door and relocking it.
"Who all up and did that?" asked Gamzee.
"I am unsure," said Kanaya, "It-WHAT?! Gamzee?" She spun around and backed off into the door. "How did you…"
"How'd I what, sis?" he asked, giving Kanaya a lazy smile. "What's going on, huh?" Sollux poked his head up from behind the couch.
"Gamzee you slippery motherfucker," he said. "When did you get here?"
"Just now, man. I all up and told this hellacious sister that I was gonna fuckin'... ease my way on in here."
Sollux looked to Kanaya. "You knew that Gamzee was coming here and you didn't tell me? Am I the only one that didn't know about you and Karkat dating?"
Gamzee gave Kanaya a surprised look. "You and Karbro are a motherfuckin' item?"
Kanaya placed a hand to her forehead and slowly inhaled, then exhaled. Why couldn't she have been the one to have died? "Yes. Karkat and I are an item, Gamzee." Kanaya tried to relax, but when she looked at Gamzee, it looked like he was… crying? She looked at him with curiosity evident on her face. "...Are you okay, Gamzee? What's wrong?"
Gamzee sniffled. "My Karbo's growing up real quick-like… he ain't even tell me nothin'."
"Pssh. He didn't tell me anything either. Probably embarrassed or something. That's real fucked, sorta. God damn it, KK."
"I…" She kept a hand at her forehead, rubbing it with exasperation. "What can I say? He loves his privacy." Another eyeroll from Sollux.
"Yeah, I guess so," he said. Sollux crossed his arms, looking a tad peeved. "Sheesh, I tell him about my relationships, but nooooo, not a damn thing from him."
Gamzee said nothing more, having ended up on the couch next to Sollux, grabbing the remote. It seems he has made himself at home. With a nervous cough, Kanaya only stands there awkwardly when Gamzee speaks again.
"When's-"
"I don't know," said Kanaya, "I don't know when Karkat is going to be here. It's…" She eyed Sollux. "It's for something important."
Sollux only nods with a smirk at Gamzee. "Yeah Gamz, it's something real important. Let's hope you like whatever it is."
"Aw shiiiet, I probably will!" replied the highblood clown. Kanaya let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and walked off.
"I need to go to the bathroom," she said with a sigh escaping her lips. Ignoring whatever Gamzee had said, she made her way to Karkat's restroom and locked herself inside. She checked the bathtub once more just in case. Sure enough, Karkat was still there, along with her bloodied clothes. God, this could not be anyone's fault except for Kanaya's. She tried to think of what she could have done differently, but instead started to recollect the events that had transpired…
"Alright," said Karkat, "Let's get this shit over and done with."
"Yes, let's," Kanaya said, smiling with eagerness. "Your blood is only the most sweet, succulent…"
"Yeah yeah, I know, you've told me. It's still creepy as fuck to hear, you know. How would you react if someone told you that? Actually you probably wouldn't give a shit."
"I can assure you with utmost certainty that I would not give a shit."
Karkat sat down on the couch and bit his lip, clearly a little nervous. "Fuck, this is always so nerve-wracking. What if you bite through one of my veins? I'd be fucking DEAD, Kanaya. You don't want that on your conscience."
"No… I would not…" she whispered, tearing up. She had really ruined everything, hadn't she? All because she was too eager and too excited. Too hungry. Impatient. And now Karkat was dead because of her. There was no doubt about it. Sitting on the ground, she tipped her head forward and pressed it against the rim of the bathtub, burying her head in her hands. Wallowing in her own remorse and self-pity.
She had to tell them, else they'd find out sooner or later, right? But how would they react? Sollux would probably scream and curse, Gamzee's a real sensitive guy, so perhaps he'd cry and refuse to ever speak to her. She wouldn't be surprised if all of her friends had avoided her, actually. Forever. Killer Kanaya Maryam.
She took a deep breath… and let it out slowly.
No, they couldn't know. No one must know…
Carefully now, she snuck out of the bathroom and inched her way towards Karkat's respiteblock. Turning her head, Kanaya could look into the living room where Sollux and Gamzee were seated, watching TV.
"Ya know," said Gamzee, "I got it up in my pan like… maybe my horns are too small. Are my horns too small, Sollux? You can be honest with a motherfucker."
"Gamzee your horns are not small, what the fucking shit. I think out of all of us, your horns are the biggest. How can you think they're too small?" Sollux just stared at him in disbelief, taking off his glasses momentarily to clean them with his shirt.
"Awwww, Sollux. That means a lot to me, bro. Come here." Gamzee held out his arms in preparation for a hug, but Sollux only recoiled.
"What? No! Fuck off, Gamz. I don't like hugs."
"Come onnnnnn bro. We're gonna do this, man."
"We will be doing NOTHING of the sort. Get away!"
Okay, they seem to be occupied… Kanaya had arrived at Karkat's room, going over to his computer. Maybe she could fake a message, make it seem like Karkat would not arrive until tomorrow. Mousing over to the instant messaging client, Kanaya muttered a curse as it appeared that Karkat's Trollian required his password. Kanaya left auto sign-in turned on. This did not appear to be the case with Vantas.
PASSWORD: _
Well fuck. What could it possibly be?
PASSWORD: FUCKYOU
INCORRECT PASSWORD!
Kanaya frowned. This could prove to be impossible.
PASSWORD: FUCKYOUSOLLUX
PASSWORD: FUCKYOUGAMZEE
INCORRECT PASSWORD!
This wasn't going to work. There had to be another way to go about this. Maybe she could ask someone… But who? Kanaya looked at her contacts, deciding to text Equius. He knew about computers too, right?
GA: Equius
CT: D - Kanaya
GA: Zahhak
CT: D - Maryam
GA: Highblood
CT: D - Lowb100d
GA: See Look This Is Fun
GA: We Are Having Fun As Only Fun Acquaintances Do
GA: Hey Can You Do Me A Favor
CT: D - I should have known you were contacting me because you were in need of something
CT: D - For what other purpose would you find yourself conversing with me at this time
GA: Look I Apologize But I Need To Be Blunt
GA: I Require That You Hack Into Karkats Trollian Account
GA: And Then Give Me The Password
CT: D - Why
GA: Because I Told You To Equius
CT: D - Okquius
GA: Thankquius
CT: D - The password is as follows
CT: D - Fuckyouterezi in all caps
CT: D - Written very STRONGLY just like that
GA: That Was Faster Than Expected
GA: Thank You Kindly
CT: D - Now then I believe you could also assist me
Kanaya was already signing into Karkat's Trollian account, breathing a sigh of relief as all of Karkat's recent messages had popped up onto the screen. She had time to think of what Karkat would say. For now, another reply to Equius. The helpful highblood needed a response.
CT: D - I grate my fingernails a% your spine and you do the same for me is this not how it works for midb100d succubi as well
GA: Ok Firstly
GA: I Am A Rainbow Drinker Not A Succubus
GA: I Lack The Seductiveness As Well As The Stamina I Think
GA: Secondly
GA: Is A% Supposed To Say "Across"
CT: D - Yes
GA: Heh That Is Nice
GA: Yes That Is How It Works Equius
GA: What Do You Need
CT: D - I would appreciate having your bodily fluids in my possession
GA: I Beg Your Pardon
CT: D - I need your dna
GA: Why The Fuck
CT: D - Allow me to e%plain
GA: Okay Give Me Approximately Ten Minutes
GA: By All Means Jot Down Your Thoughts On Just What It Is You Are Saying
She silenced her phone for now, not wanting to hear about any of this DNA business. Right now, she had a conversation to fake.
A short time later, she had gotten it done. Heading back to the living room where Sollux and Gamzee were arguing about something, Kanaya feigned a look of sadness.
"Gamzee, Sollux, listen to me. I think something has happened to my matesprit…" Gotta keep THAT lie up too, sheesh.
They turned to Kanaya with a look of surprise. "What?" said Sollux first. "The fuck happened to KK?" Kanaya's lip quivered, and she gave him her phone. He looked down at the message that Karkat had apparently left.
CG: HEY KANAYA. SOMETHING'S HAPPENED. I'LL BE GONE FOR A LOT LONGER.
CG: DON'T WAIT UP.
CG: I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOU.