Bad Archer!

So, here's the third chapter. I was kinda running low on ideas, so sorry if this isn't up to your standards.

Just a fair warning – this may contain traces of Wally/Artemis. I tried not to, but I'm a fan of the pairing and this particular chapter has a lot of their interaction. Rest assured those who don't like them, that it's hardly fluffy romance stuff.

Disclaimer: I'm a fourteen year old girl who is not a prodigy and/or a producer of any extremely awesome shows. Or any shows, for that matter. So, therefore I do not own YJ.

"It's wrong if I think it's totally okay for her to kill him, right?" Robin sighed, folding his arms.

"Normally it would be. But I can see how your patience might have worn thin." Kaldur sighed.

Artemis was attempting to strangle Kid Flash with a skipping rope. How she got the skipping rope was anyone's guess.

"What did he do this time?" Conner asked, folding his arms.

"…I don't know." Robin frowned.

M'gann was looking surprisingly unconcerned for such a sweet and sensitive girl watching one of her best friends attempting to kill another best friend. Repetition dulled the worry, apparently. "Who has to stop them this time?" She sighed.

Robin reached into his utility belt and pulled out four drinking straws. One had been cut in half.

He adjusted them in his hand, and then held them in a fist. "Short one has to break it up." He held his fist out, looking casual for someone who's best friend was being murdered in front of his eyes.

The other three reached forwards and each pulled out a straw. All were full sized.

Robin opened his hand again to reveal the short one. "Aw, man." The Boy Wonder groaned.

"Tough luck." Conner shrugged, unsympathetic.

"Yeah, I know." Robin sighed.

He walked over to the archer attempting to strangle the speedster. "Yo, Artemis." He nudged her with a foot.

"What is it, Robin?" Artemis snapped, looking up from her vantage point on top of Kid Flash. The yellow clad speedster was struggling to pull the skipping rope off his neck.

"I drew the short straw."

"So?" She turned back to Kid Flash below her.

"So I've been designated to save Kid Flash's life. Up you get."

"Not until he's dead!" Artemis growled, hitting away one of Wally's hands.

"Yeah, no." Robin sighed, crouching down. "Come on Arty. Let him go."

"No!"

"Fine." Robin sighed, pulling a batarang out of his utility belt. He snapped through the skipping rope in one lithe motion, freeing Wally.

Wally breathed in relief, then scrambled away from Artemis as Robin pulled her off. "Thanks Rob."

"Yeah, yeah." Robin brushed it aside, and then stepped in the way as Artemis leaped for KF. "So, what did you do this time?"

"Uh…"

"Never mind, I don't want to know." Robin interrupted, catching Artemis again. "Stop that!"

"Not until I murder Baywatch and spread his ashes out to the four corners of the globe!"

Robin stared at her, and then glanced at the watching three heroes. "You can jump in at any time you know."

"You drew the short straw." Conner shrugged.

"Thanks." Robin muttered, grabbing her arm tightly to pull her back.

Automatically he reached for his utility belt to find something that might be useful in this situation.

Batarang… no. Bat-breather… useless. Taser… effective but a last resort. Pack of cards… not likely. Spray-bottle… why not?

Robin pulled the sprayer out and pointed it at her. "Bad Archer!" He shouted, spraying her.

Artemis stopped struggling with surprise and then glowered at him. "Robin!"

"Bad Archer! Bad Archer! Bad Archer!"

Kid Flash was slowly backing away, his eyes not leaving the fuming blonde girl.

"Robin, enough!"

"Well, I can't let you kill him." Robin stated as he saw Kid Flash vanish.

"You would if you knew what he did." Artemis scowled, folding her arms.

"I really doubt it, if it's anything like last time you tried to kill him." Robin sighed. "I mean, I get you being mad. But a bit of hair-gel in your shampoo does not warrant death. You didn't even look that bad with sticking out hair."

Artemis glowered at him.

"Now why don't you go work your frustration out on the training field or something? I'll even print out a picture of KF for you to use as target practise."

Artemis laughed. Robin grinned, glad that he'd broken her out of her murderous desire… well, at least he'd turned it to a desire to maim instead. Baby steps.

"Thanks, but I've got my own." The archer smirked.

"…Wait, really?" Robin blinked. "Okay then." He spun her around and began to push her away. "You go there and work some of that frustration out. See ya later Arty!" He pushed her out.

Then he spun to the other three. "So, who's up for a new way of trying to convince people to stop with a bad habit?" Robin grinned.

"This one will never succeed." Kaldur predicted.

"Yeah, but at least we'll have tried. And who knows? We might even just lessen it a little – or we'll keep it just to physical torture." The Boy Wonder mused. "So she can yell at him all she wants or play jokes or get incriminating photos or whatever but when it gets dangerous we'll stop. You know, unless it's something that he totally deserves."

"She is being rather… brutal lately." M'gann agreed.

Conner and Kaldur glanced at each other. "Okay then."

X

"Artemis, it's just a training exercise!" Black Canary snapped, watching the archer pound the speedster.

"She's obviously taking his very presence personally." Conner shrugged.

"He destroyed my English assignment!" Artemis snapped, kicking out. Wally stumbled backwards, holding his stomach.

"So… you're trying to kill him? Not an overreaction at all." Robin drawled.

Artemis pulled a fist back and punched Kid Flash hard in the face. He jumped backwards, holding his eye. "Ow, Artemis! That hurts!"

"Good!"

"At what point do we intervene?" Kaldur asked their trainer.

"Not yet…" Black Canary winced as Artemis did a flip and kicked Wally in the back. "But maybe soon…"

Wally retaliated by kicking out hard and fast. His legs were naturally pretty strong, so when his foot connected with the blonde girl's shin she yelped, grabbing it.

With a quick foot-swipe, Wally knocked her to the ground.

"He's getting better." Black Canary observed, watching Kid Flash move forwards to check if she was okay.

Artemis reached out and her arm grabbed his shirt. With a flip she threw him to the ground, jumping on top of him. Her hands surrounded his throat.

"But not smarter." Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask.

"Fail – Kid Flash." The computer drawled.

"Artemis, you've won. Let him go." Kaldur ordered.

"Not until he turns another few shades of blue!" Artemis snapped, fingers tightening around his neck.

"Oh, brother. Artemis!" Black Canary marched up. "Let Wally go – huh?"

Robin had darted up to her, M'gann right behind him. Both had pulled out little spray-bottles and pointed it at the blonde girl.

"Bad Archer!" M'gann shouted, and both sprayed her.

Artemis winced but kept her fingers around Wally's neck.

"Bad Archer! Bad Archer! Bad Archer!"

Black Canary's jaw dropped. She turned to the other two. "What's going on here?"

"Uh… it's a long story." Kaldur said sheepishly.

Conner joined them, pulling his own spray bottle out. "Bad Archer! Bad Archer!"

"Aqualad… what is going on?" Black Canary said slowly, dangerously.

Kaldur hesitated.

Artemis gave in to peer pressure and released Kid, getting to her feet. She kept one of them on his chest. "Are you seriously going to do that every single time I attack Baywatch?" She snapped.

"Um, on Mars it is not classified as social custom to attack a friend." M'gann said, hovering nervously.

"It's not usual on Earth either." Robin assured her, sending a sharp glance at Artemis.

"And spraying team-mates with water is?" Black Canary folded her arms.

"Uh… well, technically no, but…"

"Hey, we're not exactly usual." Wally said lightly from the ground.

Artemis jammed her foot down harder. Wally gasped.

"Bad Archer!" They all sprayed her, including Kaldur.

Black Canary stared for a second longer, and then slowly turned around and walked away.

X

Artemis rapped on the front of the door, dressed in her hero costume with her bow held lightly between her fingers.

The class all looked up, staring in confusion. Everyone except for a red-haired boy with freckles, who'd fallen backwards in his chair in horror.

"Hi there." The teacher blinked. "Um, what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for a friend of mine." Artemis growled.

"Wait, aren't you that archer girl? Green Arrow's sidekick?" A boy in the back of the class blurted out.

"Yeah." Artemis snarled, scanning the area. Her eyes locked upon Wally's face and darkened. Wally gulped nervously.

"But… I thought you were blonde?"

Artemis flipped her bright purple hair out of her face. "I am. This is just a temporary situation, which I intend to fix soon. I just have one more important problem." She growled.

Wally looked at the door that Artemis was standing in, trying to figure out if he could run fast enough to get out without anyone realising anything.

Okay, he hadn't really meant to dye her hair purple… he was just using his aunt's empty shampoo bottle as a chemical container. It wasn't his fault that someone had put it away in the girl's bathroom – and how was he supposed to know that Artemis used the same type?

"I'm looking for-" She began, before a green gloved hand covered her mouth.

If the students were surprised before, now they were stunned. After all, it was one thing to have a sidekick to a lesser-known hero who barely anyone in Central City could remember in your class. It was quite another to see the Dark Squire himself, protégé of Batman, the Boy Wonder there.

Robin pulled out a little spray-bottle with the hand that wasn't gagging Artemis. "Bad Archer!" He snapped, spraying her.

"What? Robin, let me go!" Artemis managed to push his hand off.

"Bad Archer!" Robin sprayed her again. "Bad Archer! Bad Archer! Bad Archer!"

"How did you even know I was here?" She snapped grumpily.

"I was raised by Batman." Robin shrugged. "Bad Archer!"

She glowered, but the water was reminding her just how dumb it was to go off in costume after a civilian. Or at least a civilian identity.

"Fine." Artemis growled, sending a glower right at Wally. She spun on her heel and stalked off.

Robin followed her, chanting "Bad Archer! Bad Archer!" repeatedly.

The class was silent for a split second before bursting into conversation about what had just happened.

Wally, on the other hand, let loose a breath of relief and made a mental note to thank Robin later.

X

"Where's everyone else?" Artemis folded her arms.

"Not here." Kid Flash glanced up from the T.V.

"Hey, wait, is that Ninja Zombie Smackdown?" Artemis blinked, moving forwards and absent mindedly sitting down next to him.

"You know this movie?"

"What? I'm not allowed to watch mindless entertainment with pathetic effects and baseless plots? It takes my mind off things."

"Hey! Ninja Zombie Smackdown is a classic!"

"Come on. Abby, the girl who's been fighting bullies and standing up for everyone and actually knows how to use the shotgun gets killed and sad little Nina who screams and sobs and runs away survived? How realistic is that?"

"Hey, I like Nina."

"Only because she has no concept of the word 'decency'. Seriously, you're being chased by zombies and are picking out rations. Your clothes should not include a miniskirt or a low-cut tube top."

"She's better than Abby. Abby's just a harpy."

"Why? Because she stood up for herself? Or is it because she wore sneakers, moveable jeans and a warm shirt that you hate her?"

"Actually, while I'll admit that Nina looked good I'll have to say that you have a point with the clothes. But Abby just shot Chris for no reason."

"He got bitten."

"There was no certainty that he would have changed. Some people don't."

"Oh come on. Of course he would have – she was just killing him before he turned any of them."

"Would you kill any of us?"

"To save the rest of the team because they're about to turn into a zombie? Yep. And I give you complete permission to kill me in case we ever get into something like that."

"Oh, don't worry. I'd love to. At least it would shut you up."

"Why you…" Artemis pounded her fist together, turning around to punch Wally.

"Bad Archer!" Robin shouted suddenly, spraying her.

Where he had come from was anyone's guess. All they knew was Robin was in civvies and standing behind the couch.

And of course that he was spraying Artemis.

"Bad Archer! Bad Archer! Bad Archer!"

Artemis glowered and got up without a word, walking out of the room calmly with not so much as a look at Kid Flash.

Wally blinked and watched her go.

"Hey, Ninja Zombie Smackdown 3?" Robin leaped lightly over the couch and landed next to his friend. "Sweet."

X

Wally just wanted to get a reaction from her.

Every time he annoyed her, she'd just walk away. If he pulled her pony-tail, she'd simply brush it off. If he called her Arty, then she'd just go away. She had barely spoken two words to him in the past three days.

Sure, the not being viciously attacked was a plus, but really, he could handle it. He had a quick heal factor, and just because his rogue gallery weren't quite as bad as some of the others hardly meant that he wasn't experienced in the art of pain.

It was nice of his friends – and funny – for them to try and stop her from killing him, but he was a big boy. He could handle himself.

And anything was better than her ignoring him. Come on, he was Kid Flash, the Fastest Boy Alive. He was not accustomed to being ignored and he certainly didn't like the idea of her being the one who ignored him.

Wally lay down in front of the T.V, his science textbooks spread out in front of him. He gently flipped through the pages, looking for a way to distract him from his Artemis dilemma.

After a few seconds he'd finished the first book and moved to the second. This was an older one that he'd brought online, one from the 1930s.

He stopped flipping through the pages when his eyes locked on the recipe for a stink-bomb. A slow smile crossed his face.

Conner wrinkled his nose. "What's that smell?"

Robin sniffed too, and then winced. "Smells like… something crashed in Kid Flash's socks after he spent a full day running, then gorged itself on cat-food before dying and rotting for three weeks in the desert."

"And you have experience with this?" Kaldur glanced at him.

"Well not technically but…"

"Wait." Conner held up a hand. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Robin asked.

There was an explosion of feet and suddenly Wally was in the room. "Hey guys." He grinned sheepishly.

The door flung open. Artemis stormed in.

"Man, Artemis, what did you step in?" Robin yelped, covering his mouth and nose with his hand.

Artemis just growled. "You're dead Baywatch."

Wally grinned.

With a vicious war cry Artemis jumped forwards and caught him by the neck. She flung him to the ground and kneeled on his chest, throttling him.

Kid Flash kicked out and the archer automatically let go. Kid Flash ran backwards, out of the way.

"Come back here and die like a man!" Artemis shrieked, leaping towards him.

Wally just cackled and zoomed away again.

"Should we intervene?" M'gann asked, watching Artemis storm out the door, bringing her bow out to full size.

Robin groaned. "No." He winced, absent-mindedly tapping his spray-bottle that apparently would not be used on Artemis for this particular time.

"Wally was kinda asking for it." Conner agreed.

"I must agree." Kaldur sighed. "While I dislike failure on any mission, this task we set ourselves is impossible."

"Hey, we gave it our best shot." Robin shrugged.

"I just made a fresh batch of cookies. Would you like to try some?" M'gann asked as there was another explosion in the background.

"Please, no, Artemis, please!"

"Die, you stupid speedster!"

"What type?" Robin asked.

"Chocolate chip."

"Sure." Robin agreed, getting up.

"Okay." Conner shrugged.

"Certainly, M'gann." Kaldur agreed, rising.

M'gann beamed.

"Help! Mad Archer on the loose! Bad Archer on the loose!"

You know, I still need a few ideas for 'Bad Atlantean' and 'Bad Superboy' – not the least of which is what they're actually going to be calling Conner when spraying him. So, help? Please?