FRENCH FILE NO. 3:

Denmark

A fair-haired man from the North. Usually acts before thinks, loud. Is in union with Norway.

England destroyed his whole fleet not so long ago, so it should be quite easy to convince him to be my ally. Revenge is always a good motive.

Norway

Denmark's housemate. Looks drowsy, but he has common sense. His little brother Iceland also lives with them.

... ... ... ...

Fall, 1807

Denmark was half-sitting, half-lying on his big chair. His feet were on the table. They had a guest, but Denmark wanted to show him that at his home, he was the one who made the rules. In reality, their guest made him rather nervous.

France had captured his neighbors, just like that, and spread the French revolutionary principles in countries who were now under his rule. Denmark had heard that some of the reforms were actually great –unless France forced his poor captives to praise them without reason – but that didn't mean some foreign ruler could come to tell Denmark how he should live his life! Denmark was half sure France had some weird orgies with his new underlings. The thought was disturbing.

Norway was sitting beside him, leaning his chin in his palm. You could never be sure was he listening or had he escaped to some magical world in his mind. To a magical world where lived pink bunnies, magical trolls, giant butterflies and who knows what else. He really believed that the magical creatures were for real, and Denmark would have only laughed at that hadn't he seen a real giant troll with Norway. So maybe those others things existed as well…

Norway was rather weird, but important to Denmark nevertheless. His best friend, like a brother, maybe even more. The thought made Denmark to glance at Norway, who in turn glanced back at him. He was looking rather angry, Denmark noticed. Maybe they should finally get to the point with France and ask what the heck he wanted from them. Enough of small talk, they weren't very good with it anyway.

"So, France. Why did you come to visit us today? If you want us to join to your orgy, forget it" he blurted.

"Hmm, pardon?" France seemed to be a bit puzzled.

"Taking into account your recent habit to conquer other nations, this is hardly a courtesy visit?" Norway continues in a monotone voice.

"No, no! You have understood me wrong. I'm not here to declare war on you, no." France chuckles "I'm here because I need a small favor. And only you two have the skills to help me out."

"Well, if you need someone skillful, you have come to talk to the right man." Denmark was more curious about the subject now.

"If we agree, how does it benefit us?" Norway asked still looking disinterested.

"You want to know what the payment is even before you know what I'm asking from you? Maybe I should tell you the whole plan before we think about the payment?" France tilted his head. It's probably easier to make Denmark to agree than Norway, but that should be enough.

"So, tell us" Denmark urges.

France nods his head in agreement and then spreads a map on the table. "As you see from the map, my only possible enemy right now is England." he says and slaps his hand on the said enemy.

"What else is new?" Norway says sarcastically, but France ignores him.

"I need to isolate him. I want him to be lonely and totally helpless – ready to be picked up. That's why I'm asking you to stop all the trade with him."

"I'm sorry if I repeat myself, but how does that benefit us?" Norway asks again.

"Oh, I'm sure Denmark knows." France smiles and nods at Denmark who now seems to be looking into the emptiness.

"Yeah, my navy…" he almost whispers.

"Not that again." Norway sighs.

"England bombarded my city – Copenhagen… forced me to surrender my navy and naval stores. Only because he was so paranoid and thought that I will ally with you. I was neutral, I told that to him a hundred times. But did he listen, no, of course not."

"Then maybe you should really become my ally? You were accused of that already before, so what would that matter anymore, hm?" France suggests "You could taste the sweet revenge."

"I think we should make him pay, but you shouldn't be involved in it. You aren't the most reliable person either right now, I'm sure you understand." Norway tries to interrupt but Denmark jumps up from his chair.

"I'm in! From the great empire into a French maid is the best possible punishment he could get. If it makes me lose some trade money, then so be it." he slams his fist on the map.

"Great! You are much more cooperative than Portugal… or Sweden, in the matter of fact. You don't even know how many times Russia has tried to talk some sense in him." France states with satisfaction as they sign the treaty.

"Sweden has always been a stubborn idiot. Do you need any help with him? I have some old scores to settle with him too." Denmark asks.

"Maybe later. It seems Russia may need to use more harsh means with Sweden soon. But nice that you asked, I'm sure this is just the beginning of a great friendship." France says before he leaves. The duo says goodbyes to their guest.

"I think you just made a big mistake." Norway says after the door is closed again.

"What do you mean?" Denmark asks, puzzled.

"I trade a lot with England. Do you even understand what might happen to me if I need to stop that now? You may lose more than just 'some trade money'…"