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Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.
Dreams Don't Turn to Dust
Chapter 3 – Attack
(BPOV)
"How did she get in here?" an angry male voice asked. I could still recognize the voice even though I hadn't heard it for almost five years. It was the voice that I used to anticipate and love.
"She deserves to be here. She is Nessie's mother, if you forgot," a female voice, Esme argued.
Nice, they were fighting about me. Couldn't it get any worse? I need to stop them. Esme does not deserve to be treated like that by him.
I opened my eyes, I saw that Nessie was still sleeping and she was cuddled on my chest. She looked so peaceful to be woken up. I kissed her forehead and I took the pillow beside me to take my place. When I placed her on top on the pillow, she stirred, but she didn't wake up. I kissed her cheek once more before going towards the door.
As I reached for the doorknob, my hands became numb. My stomach was turning and I'm afraid that I'll throw up. I'm feeling so anxious and nervous in seeing him again. I mean, it had been so long since I last saw him, and it was when he was with a blonde on his bed.
And their images together flashed back to my mind. It was all what it took for me to finally give up on the nausea. I ran to the bathroom and I emptied my stomach. I didn't notice that I was crying. I am actually shaking. I hugged myself to stop my shaking, but I wouldn't. I was also having hard time breathing because of my crying. This was one of my bad days. I don't know when this will stop.
I hate him. I really hate him for making me feel this way. I hate him for hurting me. I hate him for cheating on me. And most of all, I hate him for teaching me how to love him, but never taught me how to stop.
Minutes must've passed, or hell, even hours. I stopped shaking, because my tears stopped. I just feel weak right now. I forgot to turn off the faucet and the sink was overflowing with water. I felt so weak to stand so I just watched as the water fell down the tiled floor. I could also feel myself sweating, but I can't move my hand wipe off the sweat on my face. My eyes shifted on the pale yellow walls. It was like they were getting closer and closer to me, as if the room was getting smaller and smaller by each second.
(EPOV)
She was here.
I couldn't still believe that she would come back. After leaving me and Nessie for so long, she finally decided to show up. After all those years of searching for her, it was here who came to us. Hell, we wasted a lot of time and resources for her and in the end, she would just come back.
I had given up on her two years ago. I figured out that maybe, she had a better life and she was happy. She had chosen a life where she could enjoy. And maybe, she had even found a guy that made her happy. But that was still unfair; she left her daughter just to have another life. She should've thought of what her daughter might feel when she was not there anymore. I hate to say this, but she was selfish.
I'll admit it, I am angry at her. Not because of leaving me, but because she left our daughter. But half of my blame was on me. In the first place, it was my fault why she left. Maybe if I didn't get drunk during the party, I never ended up on my bed with that blonde. I didn't even remember her name. Everything was just so fast at that time. When Bella entered my room that was just when I realized what I had been doing.
I actually thought that it was Bella who was with me and not that nameless blonde. I don't know why I thought of that, maybe it was the excessive amount of alcohol mixed by my longing for Bella. I tried to go after her, but I had a hard time making the blonde let go of me. So I was forced to make her get off me the harder way, and it was the first time that I had ever hurt a girl. But I didn't felt bad. She deserved what she got.
When I was decent enough to go out of my apartment, I went out and I searched for Bella. I searched until two in the morning, but I didn't found her. I even looked for her at the nearest hotels, but I had no luck. I thought that maybe she went back to Seattle. Well, I was right, she did came back home, my mom confirmed that. I was relieved and worried at the same time. I wanted to take a flight back there and apologize to her, but I couldn't since I had to finish important school works.
It was after a week when I finally got a leave from school and I went home. And when I arrived at our house, she was not there. I thought that maybe she just had went shopping with Alice. When I asked mom where Bella was, she just cried at me. She told me that Bella left and she couldn't tell me since she didn't want me to have problems at school.
I was angry at her for that. She should have told me earlier so that I had a time finding Bella. Another thing, she left Renesmee too.
We searched for her for a whole year. But we didn't find any traces of her. She was so good at hiding. There were times that we thought that we already found her, but it was a different person who just happened to have some traits like her. And those times will just leave me broken and even longing for her more.
Bella was only girl that I had ever loved. She was my first love and what I thought would be my last.
As I had said, that love was replaced by anger. If she just waited for me and she let me explain, things would've have been better. We could've bought our dream house and probably we would be living there now. I could still remember when she was still pregnant; there were times where we would talk about what we wanted for the future. We even stayed until midnight just talking about her plans. Hell, we probably had a very long list.
When I learned that she was at the hospital with Nessie, my blood boiled. How could she just come back for Nessie when she was ill? Does that mean that if ever Nessie wasn't sick, she would never have decided to come back?
Mom and I argued for almost half an hour because she was the reason why Bella was here. I told her that she shouldn't have done that because Nessie would surely be broken when she leaves again and I don't want Nessie to be sad again because of her. She might just be baby when Bella left, but she knew that there was something missing on her. Even though mom was there so she could have an image of a mother, she still longed for her mom. I decide to give her a picture just to be fair with her. Even though her mom couldn't be there with her, it was just right for her to know her mother.
Whenever Nessie asks about Bella, I would just change the topic. I just can't tell her now the reason, maybe when she was older, she could even understand better at that time.
So after arguing to my mom, I had decided to talk to Bella. We need to talk, BADLY.
I ignored all my mom's protests and I barged in Nessie's room. When I entered, Bella was not there. I looked all over the room, Nessie was sleeping and the water was running in the bathroom.
I thought that she was just doing her personal necessities in the bathroom. So I waited and waited until it was already an hour. It was weird for someone to be that long inside. What if she passed out inside?
I went in front of the bathroom door and I knocked six times. She wasn't opening it, and even though I hated to admit it, she made me worry.
I immediately decided to open the door without even knocking. I was shocked with what I saw. Bella was there, sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around herself and she was wet. The water was overflowing the sink and the water was still running. I quickly turned off the faucet and I took Bella from the floor.
I looked at her, but she was staring at nothingness. She was pale, cold and sweating. Her eyes were bloodshot and there were dried tears on her cheeks and it was as if she had been crying. It was like she had an anxiety attack.
It felt weird holding her again. I don't know what I was feeling, but it was weird.
I hurriedly brought her to the ER and I asked my father to check on her. I don't think that I could handle seeing her again, after all the years that she was gone.
I hope the attack was believable. I just researched on it, and I had never experienced it so I don't know how it went.
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-ishi :)
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