ASC 3
Toulouse-Lautrec
BPOV
I heard the doorbell and went to answer it, clutching my wineglass in one hand. I was glad I had insisted on wearing my Con's as I worked my through the ocean of black skull-and-crossbones balloons to the front door. I was pretty well on my way to the land of inebriation, and floor balloons are major handicaps to the drunk and high-heeled. There were at least two dozen people already at our party, and if many more showed up the fire department might take issue. Alice had the experience and foresight to contact all our neighbors ahead of time, so hopefully no one would complain. Most of our neighbors were here, in fact.
I opened the door, shouting "Welcome to the House of No Love!" Emmett was there, taking up the whole doorway. He grinned and swept me up in a huge hug. My feet dangled off the ground.
"Swan, my little love monkey! How the hell are you?" he boomed. I squealed and gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. He squeezed me until I thought my eyes would pop.
"Put me down, you elephant!"
Emmett carried me into the living room and set me down. I tried to smooth down my blue dress with one hand, and gave it up as a bad deal. I looked up to see he had two people with him. Neither looked happy. The first was a tall buxom blonde. She was absolutely gorgeous in a long cream colored knit wrap over a black dress, but she had a scowl that would put Lauren to shame. She was eying me with undisguised animosity. I realized this must be Emmett's new girlfriend. Emmett's affectionate display was not winning me any points on her meter.
The other person was … the model from Berty's class. He was staring at me with shock and disgust, as if I had cut a fart under his nose.
I decided to try to make things better, as much as I could. Weaving only slightly from all the wine, I smiled at the blonde and stuck out my hand.
"Hi, there, I'm Bella." The blonde glared at Emmett and then took my hand. She smiled icily.
"Rosalie. Nice to meet you." She released my hand and went back to glaring at Emmett.
"Is Jasper here already? Where should I put this, Swan?" Emmett asked, holding out the bottle of Jack Daniels I hadn't noticed him holding. I waved him towards the kitchen where I had last seen Alice and Jasper, talking. I giggled thinking about it. Emmett took Rosalie's hand and pulled her though the balloons and partiers.
I reluctantly turned to the beautiful man, trying my best not to think about how he looked naked. Not working. The memory of his naked form was too powerful. He had a scruff of beard on his face that hadn't been there when I saw him before. I wanted to touch that stubble. I could feel my face heating up and hoped the lighting was just bad enough to hide how red I was. Trying to be the good hostess I put my hand out to the absurdly handsome man.
"B-Bella." I stammered.
"Edward," he said, almost too low to be heard. He took my hand tentatively and I gasped and stumbled to the side. He looked alarmed.
When his hand had touched mine I had felt a thrill of contact all over my body, from my fingertips to the ends of my hair, and deep inside to my very center. I think I might have had an orgasm, just from a handshake.
Edward let go of my hand and tried to catch me but I stumbled away from him without a word, leaving him to fend for himself.
I spent the next two hours avoiding Edward. I chatted up the neighbors. I busied myself making sure there was enough ice and helped cut Alice's black chocolate ganache skull-and-crossbones cake. If I saw Edward drawing near I found a reason to walk away. He didn't seem to be following me, but whenever I looked up I found his eyes on me, cool and thoughtful.
The music was a bit loud for normal conversation so I just drank my wine and avoided our neighbor James' attempts to tell me yet again how floral design is an art form and should be taught at the School for Fine Art. I avoided the drinking game that was going on in the dining room, and the full-body groping disguised as dancing in the living room. From time to time I spotted Edward lounging about or chatting animatedly with Emmett or Jasper, but he always seemed to be looking at me. It was not an encouraging sort of look, more of a 'what the hell is wrong with that chick' look.
The strange tension I felt around Edward was killing me. I wanted to talk to him, flirt with him, maybe even just stand near him and listen to that hot voice, but I was still too embarrassed by my livestock rant on Tuesday to open my mouth around him. To find out on top of that he was Emmett's friend was even worse. So not only did he get to hear me spout off about some guy's monster dick, it was his friend's monster dick.
I promised myself I would check my smart mouth, and not say snotty sarcastic things any more. Hell, who was I kidding, I would always be saying things like that. It would be better if next time I just looked behind me first.
Perhaps, I thought, I should just apologize and try to start over fresh with him.
Eventually I was worn out from the dance of denial. I sat on the sofa with Jasper. Although he was talking to me his eyes quietly followed Alice as she flitted from one clot of conversing guests to the next.
"How have you been?" Jasper asked, his eyes never leaving Alice.
"Well, I suppose. You?" Jasper shrugged. He frowned suddenly and I followed his gaze to see Alice talking to a good-looking guy from the ceramics department. Figaro? Fellini? Felix. I was having a hard time focusing.
"I've been okay. Do you have anything to enter in the student show?" He was distracted. It was a stock question this time of year.
"Yeah, I think I do. How about you?" Jasper didn't respond and with that the small talk petered out completely. Jasper was completely focused on Alice. I decided to test this inattention.
"You know, Jazz, I'm planning on a sex-change operation. I'm scheduled for spring break. I'm going to change my name from Isabella to Isaac and convert to Judaism, which of course means I'll have to have a bris. What do you think?" I kept my voice quietly conversational, as if I were discussing traffic on the Santa Monica Freeway.
"Yeah, sounds good." He was definitely not paying attention.
"Yeah, I think it would be a boost to my art career. Maybe I can keep the coochie and get a job in the Valley starring in hermaphrodite films."
"Hmm. Nice." Nope, no attention for Bella. Felix was laughing at something Alice said and Alice had put her tiny hand on his arm. If she was trying to make Jasper jealous it was working well. Jasper's jaw was clenched. I swallowed the last bit of my wine and took Jasper's hand.
"Jasper." He looked at me, his expression dazed. I reached out and pushed his stringy blonde hair out of his face. He was getting fuzzy but even drunk I knew this was the right thing to do.
"Yeah, Bella?"
"Just go get her already."
"What?" Jasper's eyes opened wide.
"You heard me. Get off the sofa and go get Alice and take her to her room and fuck her brains out. She wants it, you want it. I'm tired of you not listening while I tell you about my hermaphroditic fantasies so get out of my sight and get busy. Tell Alice I'll hold down the party fort."
Jasper gawked at me. Then he lifted himself off the sofa and ambled off to pry Alice away from Felix. I watched as Jasper whispered in Alice's ear and her eyes widened before she excused herself from Felix and dragged Jasper off down the hallway. It gave me a warm feeling to see those wacky kids together.
Humming along to the music a little I wove my way to the kitchen to pour myself another glass of wine. Alice, over-achiever that she is, had so many boxes of booze in our tiny kitchen that it looked like she was trying to open a Trader Joe's. I busied myself for a few minutes with refreshing the snacks and checking the ice. I heard a noise and there was Edward, blocking the door between the kitchen and the dining room.
Don't think of him naked. Think of his clothes. He's got that kind of James Dean thing going, with the jeans and leather jacket and crazy brown hair. Not androgynous, but so damn pretty.
"Can I do you -- something? Do something for you?" I stuttered out nervously.
Edward gestured with his empty beer bottle. "Do you recycle?" I pointed towards a blue bin in the breakfast nook and he tossed the bottle in casually. He smiled at me and reached into the tub on the counter to fish another bottle of Chihuahua beer out of the melting ice.
I watched, hypnotized by his presence, as Edward popped the cap off the beer and took a long swig. I fumbled about for something to say that wouldn't sound stupid. All that came to mind was 'I want to lick you from your chin to that mole on your hip.' I cleared my throat and turned to rearrange the bags of snacks on the counter. Peripherally I could see that Edward wasn't moving, just standing by the door drinking his beer. I tried to remind myself of my plan to apologize for the verbal vomit earlier in the week. Maybe I could start with small talk and work my way up.
"You're a friend of Emmett's?" I asked. Edward nodded. "Where have you been, because I've known Emmett for over a year and I've never seen you." I didn't mention that I hadn't seen Emmett at all for nearly four months, but I figured it was irrelevant. We'd spent enough time together last spring and summer.
"Well, I've known Emmett since seventh grade, and I've never seen you either," Edward said with a touch of defiance. He leaned his hip against the counter. It would be a great pose for life class, the classic Greek contraposto stance. I tried again not to think of how nice he would look naked. Naked in my kitchen. Avoid that image.
He took a swig of his beer and I blurted, "You look really good with your clothes on." He snorted beer all over himself. I mentally slapped myself. Ugh. I hadn't meant to say it out loud, and that definitely wasn't an apology. I must be drunker than I realized.
Edward cursed at the beer he'd aspirated on himself and I grabbed a towel, trying to wipe beer off his t-shirt. He held his arms up, looking down at me as I patted at his chest. I stopped and looked up at him. It was a moment. He had a slight smile on his beautiful lips, and his eyes were so very green as he gazed at me with heavy-lidded eyes. What my mother would have called bedroom eyes. I became hyper-conscious of my hand on his chest, just a t-shirt and a towel between me and Edward's smooth skin...
He just stared down at me. For a time all I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears, all I could feel was the slight rise and fall of his chest as he drew breaths. Then I dropped the towel on the counter and pushed past Edward back into the noise and crowd of the party. There were fewer people, and things were very definitely winding down, but it was still crowded enough. I put as much distance between me and my continuing embarrassment as I could.
I sat on the armchair in the farthest corner of the living room. It was only then I realized I had left my refilled wineglass in the kitchen. Well, it would just stay there. I had probably had enough, anyway. No reason to completely expose myself as an idiot to the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen. I'd spoken to him once? Twice? Each time it has been embarrassing, falling over my feet or over my tongue.
Just because he's beautiful doesn't mean anything. He's still a person, Bella, I reminded myself. He takes his pants off one leg at a time … Wow, that visual was not helping. I put my head in my hand and sighed.
Emmett came over and crammed himself next to me on the armchair, forcing me to the side. I was glad it was a big chair or I might have been flattened.
"So, my little sticky bun," he laughed. He was obviously catching up with my drunk. "How have you been? Do I have any competition here?"
"I'm fine, Em. Would you give the endearments a rest, though? I'm worried Rosalie might disembowel me with a frilly toothpick. It's bad enough that half the art department thinks we're a couple without you encouraging it."
"Oh, you're breaking my heart, Bella!" Emmett said with mock-passion. "We are a couple. A couple of what, now that's the question." I punched his arm.
"Be serious, Em. I've been getting teased about us."
"Who? I'll mess them up for giving you a hard time." He changed from cheerfully flirtatious to murderous in a heartbeat. I didn't want him getting mad at Lauren, but he had to stop acting like we were something we weren't.
"Don't do that, Emmett, just try to limit the sweet cheeks comments, okay?" I lurched to my feet. I had spied Rosalie giving me the stink-eye from where she was talking to Edward in the dining room. "I've gotta go … bathroom," I said, gesturing vaguely. I headed for the hall. On the way Rosalie waylaid me.
"Hey, Bella, it's nice to finally meet you. Emmett showed me the performance video …" I didn't want to discuss that, so I cut her off rudely.
"Yeah, it's great to meet you, too. You seem really great, perfect for Emmett. Look, I think I'm going to barf, so…"
She let me go. Once in the bathroom I just sat on the closed toilet lid and put my head on the edge of the sink. The party wasn't quite a disaster but it wasn't going well for me. My buddy Seth hadn't shown. Emmett and his overt affection were wearing me out. I worried Rosalie was the jealous type and might be seeing me as the competition. I cursed Emmett for showing her the video we made for our Intermedia course last year. Jasper and Alice were hopefully entertaining each other. Edward ….
I knew I was being a lousy surrogate hostess, but I was too confused by my feelings to care.
After maybe fifteen minutes of my bathroom pity party and realizing that wallowing in moroseness and wine would not make me puke, I left the bathroom, checking the hall to make sure Rosalie wasn't lying in wait. I slipped out the hall and towards the back yard, stopping to get my cloves from the kitchen counter. Alice disapproves of smoking, so I moved in only with the condition I only smoke outside. Being California, I was lucky to be able to smoke anywhere.
I went out the back door, closing it carefully behind me. I lit my clove while standing on the dark back step. It was cold, but my dress had long sleeves. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered as I blew out smoke.
"Chilly?" Edward said from right beside me. I yelped and jumped.
"Crap! You scared me."
"Sorry, I just came out here to get some air," Edward said gesturing with a lit cigarette. He was slouched in one of the patio chairs we had gotten at Target, sitting just to the side of the steps where I stood. In the faint light coming from the kitchen window he was little more than a shadow with a bright orange speck of ember.
"I'm just escaping." I sat on the step and shivered. Edward nodded but didn't say anything.
I thought of my plan to make amends for my big mouth and decided this was as good a time as any. I girded on my booze balls and turned to look at him. As my eyes adjusted to the light I could see him a little better, especially when he turned to look at me, letting the diffused light fall across his face.
As he was looking at me right now.
"Did you say something?" he asked just as I took a deep breath to apologize. Baffled, I shook my head but then I heard it, too.
It was a rhythmic noise, and I could hear the mumble of voices but not quite words: a high giggle and the deeper rumble of a man's voice. A loud groan. I blushed to realize we were just under the window to Alice's room.
Jasper had obviously taken my advice literally.
"What...?" Edward cocked his head to the side to listen intently. His eyes widened. "Is that what I think it is?" he whispered. I dropped my head between my knees and focused on breathing in and out, trying to prevent the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out of me.
This just made my humiliation complete. If Edward didn't already think I was some deranged, filter-free, donkey-fucking perv, now we were sitting in the freezing cold listening to my friends shag. Alice was in full voice tonight. The noise from the window was getting louder.
"Yes, Jazz! Yes, Jazz! Just! Like! THAT!" James' dog, in the yard next to us, began to howl along with Alice. I wanted to bang my head on the cement of the patio until I lost consciousness. Jasper was groaning loudly now. Then Jasper and Alice exclaimed loudly and in unison and fell silent. Edward and I were silent, too.
I knew if I looked at Edward right now I would start laughing, so I kept my head down, my hair hanging over my face. I should just accept that nothing would ever go right around this man and go sleep off the three or four bottles of wine I had polished off.
I stubbed out my clove and stood up.
"Right, then, show's over," I muttered and stumbled back into the kitchen. The party was still going on, but it seemed mellower and quieter than before I went outside.
I located my wine glass and emptied it in one draught. I poured a huge glass of water and carried it with me to my bedroom. Just as I was about to go in my room Alice came dancing out of her room. Her face was radiant and her feet were bare, but otherwise she looked as perfect as before her liaison. If not for the stunning audio I wouldn't have known about her and Jasper.
"Hey, Ali," I said, "I'm going to retire for the night before my fucking mouth gets me into more trouble. G'night." I closed the door before Alice could respond.
I peeled off my blue dress, and leggings, and removed my sneakers. In socks, bra and panties I lay on the bed with my wineglass and pulled out my sketchbook and pencil. I began doodling, drawing Edward's profile from memory. The sketches glared at me from the page the way he had glared at me all evening. I wondered what he had been thinking, when he had looked at me. Probably, oh, there goes the girl with no verbal filter! Or maybe, gosh, she doesn't look like the type to do donkeys. Or really horrifyingly, yeah, I could totally see her with a donkey.
Why do I care? I asked myself. Even if he's a friend of Emmett's, I might never see him again. He's just some life model. I snorted at my lame attempts at self-delusion. Admit it, girl, you think he's hot and you want him to think well of you. You do not want him to think you are deranged, which is surely what he thinks now.
I threw my sketch book on the floor in a fit of pique. Fuck that. If I saw him again, I'd apologize. Sober. I put in my earplugs, crawled under the duvet, and fell asleep.