Chapter Three: Double the Trouble
"Welcome to our Pokemon Center! We can heal your Pokemon back to perfect health!" a Nurse Joy joyfully greeted the girl on the other side of the counter with a joyful beam that contained much joyous joy. "Shall we heal your Pokemon?"
"Fo shizzle, home dog-diggity-dawg!" was the girl's responding exclamation, which completely took the poor nurse off guard and put her in a joyful state of mild shock.
The child had been holding her Pikachu upside-down the entire time she carried her to Pewter City's Pokemon Center, and the Pokemon believed she would have an aneurism at any time from the amount of blood that rushed to her head. The newbie trainer placed the electric rodent on the counter in the same position, the poor creature tipping over and landing face-down, groans muffled by the face full of counter. At least the clean smell of disinfectant was pleasant.
Looming above the Pokemon Center was a hot air balloon, the actual balloon sporting the image of Robin Williams. Aboard were two humans garbed in black uniforms with a large "R" branded on the chest and a Farfetch'd. The male stood a little taller than his female counterpart, his hair short and brown. His partner's red hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail with freckles dotting across her face. The wild duck Pokemon was looking quite sharp, as he refused to be seen by other people and Pokemon without a black bowtie.
They were an unusual trio, having made it their life goal to emulate their idols. What was unusual about them was that they looked up to two Team Rocket grunts and a Meowth from an anime that didn't even exist in this world. No one even knew how it was even possible how they came across such an anime. Not even they did, however, the man suggested a possibility that involved a hippopotamus in a tutu and sixty-seven pancakes wearing nine-and-a-half sombreros.
Leaping out of the balloon, the young woman landed a belly flop upon the Pokemon Center's skylight, originally hoping to have made a graceful land upon her feet. Apparently, she learned that just because she was raised by cat Pokemon, she didn't gain their abilities. Her partner followed suit, his body squishing her against the glass. Shoving him off, she bashed him in the head with her balled fist.
After taking a moment to rub the goose egg on his head, the male Rocket grunt removed the coil of rope from his arm. Securing one end, he assisted her in breaking an opening in the skylight with a couple of crepes-which was odd, considering the fact that the weight of their bodies failed to inflict a single crack when they fell. As the coil of rope was tossed into the new opening, it unraveled and swung around until it ceased almost all movement.
The building's inhabitants looked on in a mixture of curiosity and amusement as the Rocket grunts made their way down the length of the rope. The pair were almost mid-length when the rope snapped. Fortune was with them, for the author has forbidden death and bodily harm onto them and they survived the fall with no injuries. After a pair of minutes of pained groaning and checking themselves for injuries since they were unaware that they were in a world controlled by the aforementioned author, they scrambled to their feet. Dusting themselves off from anything that had been on the floor that might have stuck to their uniforms, the male turned on a record player that hadn't been there minutes prior. From the player blared the theme music belonging to a certain Team Rocket duo that existed in the earlier stated anime that didn't exist in their realm, the couple proceeded to recite their own version of the motto.
"Prepare for trouble!" cried the female grunt.
"Make it double!" the male followed.
"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"
"To pelt them all with smelly meats!"
"To relinquish society of junk mail!"
"To go to the mall and see what's on sale!"
"Jean!"
"Roy!"
"Team Rocket blast off with speed and might!"
"Surrender now or else we will bite!"
Fluttering down from above was the Farfetch'd. Allowing himself to land in front of the two posing humans, he twirled the leek in his primary feathers and stood proudly and menacingly-or he would have, if he wasn't a small duck.
"Farfetch'd! Aww yeeeaaah!"
Record scratching and music coming to a halt, the spectators exchanged glances with each other. There was a collective mixture of confusion, shock, discomfort, and possibly gallstones, before out came the response in uproarious laughter. Expressions of scorn replaced the smug expressions of the Rocket grunts and Farfetch'd.
"Stop laughing at us!" Jean roared, her very being on the verge of shaking from the amount of rage brewing within her. Startled by the display of fury, every single person quieted.
"We're here to take every last Pokemon here!" Roy declared.
The remaining people with the exception of Yellow and the nurse fled the building out of fear of being separated from their beloved Pokemon. Both grunts eyeing the Pikachu on the counter with envy, grabbed their respective Poke' Balls and tossed them to free their own Pokemon.
"Go, Sandshrew!" said Jean. Ball cracking open, a yellow shrew Pokemon materialized on the floor.
"Go, Cubone!" Roy followed suit, his Pokemon appearing alongside his partner's.
Both creatures falling into battle stances, they eagerly awaited their trainers' instructions.
"El derpo?" Yellow uttered with her usual idiocy, clueless smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"Do I have to do everything?" the Pikachu groaned in irritation as she slid herself off of the counter and plopped onto the tiled floor below.
"Hold on! Two against one isn't fair!" Nurse Joy joyfully intercepted, holding up an extended hand in joyous noncompliance. "Besides, Pikachu is still in bad condition!"
"I can take 'em," the Pikachu confidently squeaked. "I bet that Sandshrew is so slow, she can't land critical hits!"
"That's so mean!" the Sandshrew whimpered, her bravado collapsing.
Acknowledging the scuffs on Sparkle's body, Jean scoffed, turning up her nose smugly.
"This will be a cakewalk."
Jean's words sparking excitement in her partner, the young man promptly turned vainly in every single direction.
"Cake?! Where?!"
Roy's vain search for the sweet confectionery was cut as he received a bashing in the head by his comrade.
"Sparkle! Zap their animus!" Yellow ordered, unwilling to just hand over the best friend she ever had. Besides one of her mother's imaginary leprechauns. Her Pokemon was well aware that her electric attacks would have no effect on both Ground-types, but fired away anyway. Perhaps it was the only way she would learn.
"Idiot! Electric attacks don't work on Ground-type Pokemon!" Jean huffed, even though the child had just received a live demonstration.
"Sparkle's attack didn't work!" Yellow exclaimed. "That can only mean her batteries have run dry!"
Where the girl drew that conclusion from, the remaining humans and Pokemon had no clue. Though, they did figure out that electricity's ineffectiveness to Ground-types had not sank in.
"Cubone, Bonemerang!" Roy instructed, rubbing the second goose egg left by his companion's fist.
"I'm an emo Pokemon!" Cubone exclaimed as he brought back his bone-weilding arm and hurled it forth, sending the object spinning at the opposing rodent.
Anticipating the attack, Sparkle adeptly darted out of the way.
"Missed meeeee," she taunted, turning her rear into the direction of her enemies and giving it a wiggle.
"Sandshrew, Sand Attack!" Jean instructed, her frustration over the Pikachu's smug attitude grating down on her final nerves.
"I'll critical hit you!" Sandshrew hissed, summoning clumps of sand from her paws, kicking them straight at Sparkle's face and subsequently blinding her.
"Let's try this again. Cubone, Bonemerang!" Roy repeated, certain that the attack would land now that the target's sight was obscured. For the second time, Cubone's bone went flying, and this time it didn't miss.
Sparkle managed to rub most of the sand from her eyes, but the blow to her head blurred her vision and impeded her ability to move steadily.
"Sandshrew, Scratch!"
"Cubone, Bone Club!"
Yellow winced, her heart crying out as she witnessed her Pokemon collapse and await the beating. She implored her to get up after the assault, but she was unable to do so. Just when her hopes sank to an all-time low, her attention was grasped by duel screeches of two bird Pokemon. A Pidgey and Spearow swooped in to intervene. The avians rammed into the Ground-types with unavoidable Quick Attacks and brutal Fury Attacks until they had fallen.
"Nooooooo!" Jean, Roy, and Farfetch'd despaired in unison as their Pokemon were defeated.
"Yaaaaaaay!" Yellow and Nurse Joy rejoiced joyfully.
"You!" a voice cut across the room, grasping everyone's attention. A dark-skinned Cooltrainer pinned a glare upon Yellow, fists clenched at her sides. "You with the Pikachu!"
"Me?" Yellow queried, glancing around for anyone else with a Pikachu in their possession.
"Yes, you!" The Cooltrainer then pointed an accusing finger. "Your Pokemon stole my ice cream!"
Yellow looked to the vulnerable form of Sparkle.
"Did you take her ice cream, Sparkle?"
"I'm close to losing consciousness, but I'm awake enough to say that I didn't," Sparkle answered in her usual Pikachu language.
"She didn't do it," Yellow cheerfully chirped as she returned her attention to the other girl.
"Not your Pikachu! Your Nidoran!" the Cooltrainer heatedly corrected.
"What's a Nidoran?"
The Cooltrainer's eyes widened in fury. Whipping her attention to her birds, she opened her mouth to deliver a command.
"Pidgey! Spearow! Check all her Poke' Balls!"
"What's a Poke' Ball?" Yellow's questions went unanswered as the Flying-types pecked at the spherical objects at her waist, eventually coming upon the one containing the Nidoran. The Poison Pin Pokemon popped out of the Ball, eating out of a bowl of sugar that somehow got inside. "Bunny!"
"Hey! What about us?" Roy whined.
"Can you wait?!" the Cooltrainer roared, causing the man to cringe in fear.
"Only I can yell at my partner like that!" Jean bellowed. "We are Team Rocket! Prepare for trouble!"
"M-make it double," Roy squeaked, still in the process of recovering from getting yelled at by a girl.
"To protect the world from dangerous freaks!"
"To p-pelt them all w-with smelly meats…"
"To-"
"Shaddap!" the Cooltrainer cut in, clearly not in the mood.
"Never interrupt the motto!" Shifting her attention to the wild duck standing between her and Roy, she gently nudged him forth with her boot. "Go, Farfetch'd!"
"Ya gotta be kiddin' me!" the Farfetch'd incredulously said.
"GO!"
"Fine!" Farfetch'd gazed up at the hovering birds, feeling himself grow nervous as they sized him up with piercing gazes. Idea sprouting in his brain, he dramatically extended his leek into the direction located behind them. "Look over there! Twinkies!"
Pidgey and Spearow immediately about faced in eager anticipation for delicious cream-filled sponge cakes.
"Take this, ya overgrown feather dusters!" he exclaimed, lunging forth to relentlessly beat both bird Pokemon with his leek. It didn't take too long before Pidgey and Spearow dropped to the floor, defeated.
"Pidgey! Spearow!" the Cooltrainer despaired, her outrage disappearing and being replaced with heavy concern.
"What are we going to do?!" Nurse Joy joyfully cried out.
"Muahahahahahahaha! You'll give us that Pikachu and every last Pokemon in this dump!" Jean replied with triumphant confidence.
"Never!" the nurse defied, joyfully collapsing to the floor to sob joyfully. There was much irony.
The Nidoran looked from her sugar bowl, to the celebrating Rockets, and to the sulking humans who feared their Pokemon would be whisked away. Lifting the bowl, she chugged the rest of the sugar. Charging up on a sugar drive, the record player blared a familiar tune that one would hear whenever Popeye consumed spinach. Hyper and jittery, she stepped forth to challenge Team Rocket.
"Ya want some too?" Farfetch'd questioned, twirling his leek in preparation to strike.
As he swung his edible weapon, Nidoran zipped out of the way, powered by her sugar-drivenness. Lifting a fifty pound bag of sugar that she had procured out of thin air, the Poison-type slammed Farfetch'd with it, the wild duck instantly fainting from the blow. Turning to the remaining members of Team Rocket, she did the same thing with them, sending them flying with enough power to crash right through the roof.
"I'm flying! Wheeeeee!" squealed Roy in joy right before he and the rest of his teammates disappeared over the horizon.
"Yaaay! We win!" Yellow cheered, throwing her hands skyward.
Nurse Joy joyfully leaped to her feet with a celebratory cry. Sparkle couldn't respond in such a manner, as she had succumbed to unconsciousness half-way during the battle between the three bird Pokemon. Nidoran proceeded to indulge herself by consuming twenty pounds of sugar in 12.4 seconds. As for the Cooltrainer, she just gazed at the gaping hole in the ceiling, brain processing what had just taken place.