Oh. My. Flying Spaghetti Monster. I HAD A SNOW DAY! Finally!
Mimi: Weren't you just out sick for three days? And you've had like five snow days in the last two weeks...
Me: Shut up! Snow days me smile~ X3
Mimi: Yes, I suppose. Hey, do you own Naruto, my all powerful creator?
Naruto: HECK NO SHE DOESN'T!
Me: Hey... YOU AREN'T IN THE STORY YET! Leave my presence!
Naruto *leaves*
Mimi: That's enough of this. It's taking up my screen time.
Me: 'Kay! ON WITH THE STORY!
"Welcome to Konoha bath house. Follow me please."
It was the same routine over and over. Greet costumers, clean baths, chase perverts, repeat.
Not that I minded much. It was a lazy, peaceful (for the most part) life, and it was enough for me.
The villagers apparently thought it was adorable for a child to work in a bath house, so business was good. Mostly. Every now and then, people from rival clans would get into arguments, which usually ended in me cleaning up all of the chipped wood, broken glass, and the owner's terrified cat, Suzu.
The old bat had me wear a bandanna on my head with an apron to match. Sigh.
It had been three months. Three months of cleaning, shopping for the old lady's groceries, and feeding a cat. Three months of living in a world that didn't exist.
I'm actually pretty happy here, though. Tranquil place, Konoha.
*Time skip, six years*
It took me six long, and frankly scary years, but I was finally back at my proper age. I was really uncomfortable with the fact that I'd have to endure puberty all alone, seeing as Owner-san died in the Kyuubi attack when my body was ten. Or was I really not thirteen anymore, but nineteen? Blah! Hobos shall be the death of us all.
I scowled as I stalked through the marketplace, a bag of groceries in one hand and my customary broom in the other.
I also noticed with an inward smirk that many of the male population were looking at it in fear. At least one good thing came out of this mess...
Turning at a corner, I saw a blur of black then I saw the glimmer of something very sharp at a familiar blond five year old's throat. My broom fell from my hand, it's clatter way too loud as it hit the ground. The whole market was suddenly silent, you could hear a pin drop.
"L-let me go and this boy will live!" The sweating man that held the kunai shouted at a small group of ninja, his hands shaking from exhaustion.
"That's low!" One shouted back. "Using a civilian to save your own hide? And a kid no less!"
"You make me sick." Snarled a furious kunoichi, suddenly going into a complicated series of hand seals.
"Wait, don't bother, Kurenai-san." Another shinobi smirked.
"Are you insane? You want the traitor to kill an innocent child?"
"It's just the demon brat. We should let him get rid of it before we take him in."
The man holding Naruto hostage suddenly fell to the ground, no longer breathing.
An ANBU with a dog mask appeared, checking the tiny boy for injuries. Apparently finding none, he ordered the other ninjas to leave before leaving himself.
Slowly, the life and movement returned to the marketplace. I picked up my broom, still half in shock.
"Geez." I muttered. "You can't even go shopping in this town without seeing some kid almost get killed."
I began walking home.
*Special No Jutsu!: The Problem with fangirls*
Today I met an Uchiha. In all my years of... um, being the greeter of a bathhouse, an Uchiha has never set foot in this place (they most likely have their own at their freakishly huge compound.)
He was ten, a jounin, and he was the future slayer of the entire Uchiha clan. Also known as Uchiha Itachi. Joy.
Naturally, I treated him like all male patrons.
"Hello," I bowed politely. "Welcome to the Konoha bath house. Please follow me, and if I catch you near the woman's bath I'll kill you with a post-it."
He blinked, his face totally without emotion. "A post-it?"
"It's a very slow death." I shrugged, beginning to walk toward the bath. "It'll have to do until I can get a new broom."
"Hn."
Hn. The Uchiha catchphrase, and the greatest way to end conversations known to man.
"Please enjoy your visit." I bowed again, then I went back to greet any other costumers.
The place was full of girls, aging eight to fourteen. The killing intent coming from them was tangible. Crap, the bane of my existence. Fangirls.
"Um... may I help you?"
"WERE IS ITACHI-KUN, YOU SKANK!" One of them screeched in a voice that would put most chalkboards to shame.
"He's taking a bath; that's what one typically does in a bath house, ne?"
Instantly, they swooned in unison, most likely fantasising about things that would make the most emotionally detached shinobi; blush and get the mother of all nosebleeds.
I sweatdropped, very slowly beginning to edge away from them. Unfortunately, one girl noticed.
"WAIT!"
"What?"
"... WHICH WAY IS HE!"
"Oh! Look at the time. Sorry, you'll have to look for him on your own, it's time for me to chase away perverts now. Ta-Ta!" I hightailed it, effectively avoiding the incoming stampede of hopeless fangirls. This was the first time I had to chase females from the male baths. It wasn't the last.
*Special No Jutsu! Kai!*
It's finally over! I had to restart this chapter like five times before I got something I liked! BORING!
... Review or I'll convince Mimi to eat your soul.
Mimi: Not without salt!
Me: FINE! YOU CAN HAVE YOU STUPID SALT!
Mimi: ^_^