[ II ]

The night sky was still dark and murky, brightened by the light pollution from the city surrounding the building below. It was cold walking around on the roof with nothing but a thin shirt, but it was also hard to care when there were far more distracting things to worry about, such as the seeming inevitability of your suspect slash friend slash fake friend slash co-worker killing you, laughing in your dying moments, and probably humping your grave triumphantly afterwards.

Wait, where had that come from?

...Probably best not to question it.

L stood and bristled, still unable to shake the feeling of invisible laughter off of his back. Could this be a joke? A simulation of real events by the Shinigami themselves? Of course, it wasn't implausible that immortal(?) beings of death could find a way to manipulate life as well, but why would they want to bring back a human? More importantly, why would they want to bring back the opposition to Kira? Nothing made any sense, and until something did, there was no reason to act. No hasty decisions. He'd already made one poor decision too many.

L realised he could convict Kira himself this time.

If this was real. If, an increasingly-likely if, but an if all the same.

It would only be a matter of placing cameras in the helicopter and finding how exactly the bastard had managed to write Higuchi's name. Assuming his opponent had no recollection of former – or later - events, it really would be as simple as that.

But…

Soft pinpricks were landing at his feet. It was beginning to drizzle. L found it hard not to smile; the rain had always relaxed him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on nothing but each drop as it hit his skin. His head already hurt from all this confusion. If the rain had been the last thing he had known before the end last time, then to be bathed again in it felt something like a rebirth; at the very least a pleasant and refreshing sensation. L could almost feel his thoughts beginning to clear up -

…But.

He could only remember now how it had all been a mistake. He'd never been willing to give up his pride, neither of them had, and that was why, in the end, he'd chosen Kira.

And that pride had done nothing but lead L to his death.

At first, following that strange change of character during Light Yagami's confinement, he had been wary. To see such sudden… innocence. At times the boy's acting had been good enough to appear almost genuine, but the eyes were what gave everyone away, no matter how good. 'But he's Kira. I know he's Kira, so why…?' There had been no end to L's confusion at first. It had been shocking to think that his enemy could have finally become good enough to fool him…

And it was that thought - that fear of being fooled. It was what truly shut him off; what made him push the other away so constantly.

Light-kun is my first ever friend.

A lie. A necessary lie to test the integrity of his opponent.

But as soon as Light had agreed so …earnestly to work on the case, and as they were bound together… as soon as Kira had seemingly left, it was as if that lie had been believed by him.

L could see it in every hidden glance.

Every genuine smile.

Every patient nod, every enthusiastic promise.

Every hesitated question. Every touch, every look of determination.

Every never mind, Ryuuzaki, it's not important to the case.

Light Yagami, or at least one side of him, had believed L's lie. He had wanted to be friends, and L had very carefully denied this request –

Because at least one side of him wanted it too.

And L had denied it all for that fear. All for that base paranoia of being betrayed. And only to find out that all that time, Light had been telling the truth every time he said he wasn't Kira. He meant it every single time, and L had never cared to listen. But how could he have reasonably known? Suspecting someone, never fully trusting someone; keeping all possibilities open at once was what L was supposed to do.

It had been far too late to realise that he had killed Light himself. To realise he'd already failed, that he'd signed his own death sentence. He could've monitored him in the helicopter, he could've observed him every inch of the way.

But L gave up.

And it was why he chose to delegate the case to his successors.

But even if I hadn't chosen Kira, even if I'd decided to trust Light, what difference would it have made? He disposed of me all the same. There were tears in his eyes, I remember, and he screamed – at first. And I have no way of knowing if any of it at all was true.

'It'll be lonely, won't it?'

I have no way of knowing what was going through his head when I said goodbye. Or even if we'd had just a little more time.

L opened his eyes.

…More time.

That was exactly what he'd just been given. But he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was horribly off. That this wouldn't just happen without something behind it. Was there any point in reliving this again? Was any of it real?

L inhaled sharply as he stepped closer to the edge of the building's roof. The rain could be seen in thin streaks caught in the lights from below as they fell. He felt his chest clench, his breathing begin to quicken as he stared down, unable to see the ground.

His head was beginning to spin with vertigo, but he didn't stop. He wouldn't stop. I died the first time. And now, I'm back. Logically, I could suspect that if I were to again, then…

But I have no way of finding out. Unless I was willing to find out… like this.

Now standing at the very edge, L made no effort to stop his vision from pulling out of focus; the lights below now a blurred sea of smudges. But he could hear the rain now, hear it right by his ears as it picked up, drumming against the hard surface of the ground. His hair was beginning to stick to his scalp. The feeling of the cold drops running down his skin was revitalizing – with each second that passed, it was like he was feeling more and more alive.

..u...ak…

Hmm? A sound?

..Ryu…ak…

A voice swallowed up by the rain.

L's skin began to prickle in anticipation -

Ryuuzaki…!

…Ah. It must be because he was standing here in the rain. Of course he'd remember that at a time like this.

L knew what was coming next. The entire scene was mapped out completely in his head to the last detail; there was no way he could ever forget. Yes; now, Light-kun will say –

"Why are you standing over there like that?"

Hmm. That wasn't how it went.

Wait, what?

L turned around to see the familiar figure through the shimmering rain at the other side of the roof. It was Light, calling out and now waving. Panting, like he'd been hurrying. He ran out into the rain without any hesitation and headed over, despite the downpour, calling his alias again.

"What are you doing out here?" Light shouted. "It's raining!"

L stood there, stunned, both surprised and perplexed by the determination, the… genuine concern burning in those eyes of his. He was… L blinked – he was still in his pyjamas, bare feet and all, quickly becoming soaked in the rain. All he could manage to say was the first thing that popped into his head. "You called Watari."

Light threw his arms out. "You chained me to the bed!"

"Yes…?"

Exasperated, Light gripped at his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, now shivering slightly in the cold, undoubtedly regretting his rash decision to run out into the rain. "That's not the point," he snapped. "Ryuuzaki, what the hell is wrong with you today? First you took the cuffs off and now this!"

Normally, L would be making some snarky comment about being unable to trust Light now that he was out of said cuffs, but he knew he could trust him. He knew it now, and he didn't know what exactly to do about it.

"Don't tell me this is all part of some new test to try and figure out if I'm Kira."

"I already know."

Light blinked. "What…?"

"You're Kira," L murmured.

Light sighed deeply. He was used to hearing this, of course. "Just get back inside. It's pouring, and I'd rather not –"

"No."

"What are you trying to accomplish?!"

Even if it wasn't Kira in front of him at this moment… Regardless, it was the person who had the potential to still be Kira. And L found himself curious. He found himself curious how the other might answer differently in a situation like this…

"If you want, you could ignore me," L echoed, "because nothing I say makes any sense anyway."

Light said nothing. His irritation was gone, and he was standing there, seemingly unable to think of a response.

"But…" L continued, sharpening his gaze, "I could always say the same about you."

Light stood his ground and his fists clenched slightly, rain dripping from the tips of his hair.

"Since the day you were born, has there ever been a time that you have told the truth?"

Light's eyes were the closest to Kira's L had seen since his confinement. For a moment, they narrowed; he pressed his lips together. There was no way he couldn't acknowledge his lies, even now.

But his response was not the same as before.

"Yes," was his reply, and it was full of that inexplicable warmth that L could never understand, "I told the truth when I said I was looking forward to working with you, and when I said I wanted to catch Kira with you, and when I promised we would meet the same fate –" Light's eyes widened in sudden realization and he scowled bitterly. "…But obviously, you thought… you thought I was… I was…" It was hard for L not to recognise when his suspect (not suspect anymore, culprit) was seconds away from trying to punch him in the face.

But amazingly, he kept himself controlled this time, giving L a nasty look as he continued, "Lying. You thought I was lying, didn't you? You said I was your friend. So was that a lie after all?" Light took a step closer, closing L in on the spot. "Why don't I ask you if you've ever told the truth, even once, in your entire life? That's a much more interesting question."

L stared.

"Answer me, Ryuuzaki," Light spat. When he still got no answer, his patience snapped and he grabbed L by the front of his shirt, forcing him closer.

L calmly tilted his head. "Have I ever told the truth to you…? If you suspect me of being a liar, can you trust any answer I give, Light-kun?"

And this time, Light did punch him in the face.

Staggering back, L cried out, only to be caught before he could regain his own balance, grabbed by the shoulders and held in place. Light yelled down at him, droplets of rain flying around as he shook L's body violently. "If you can't trust me even a little, how are we supposed to work together? I respected you!"

Wordlessly, L shifted his legs and swept Light's ankles out from under him.

Light was knocked down, but he didn't release his hold like expected and dragged L down with him – and L lost his balance and fell wildly, everything going by in a blur as –

"No!"

The blur cleared. L stopped breathing as he glanced aside and caught sight of the endless sea of lights far below him, felt the cool chill of the air around him; the lack of surface underneath his feet.

L quickly looked anywhere else other than the death he would apparently fall to, and found Light's frantic face above his own. Light's arms holding him securely, the warmth of his body numbed by the cold of the rain.

And Light pulled him back up and onto solid ground again, breathing rapidly. L almost didn't hear him speak through the pounding of the rain.

"If… if you'd died, then I…"

Light was refusing to look his way, arms wrapped around himself as he shivered, slumped down into a sitting position, whether from the cold or anything otherwise.

"It… would have been all my fault," he murmured, and L wanted to make him shut up because it was all his own fault, he had to respond, he had to strike back without even thinking about either of their safety; he could have messed this all up for himself, he could have completely ruined his second chance to be with Light like this –

And L realized he had finally come to a decision.

"It would've been all my fault," Light repeated, voice shaky, "without even being Ki –"

L dropped to Light's level, letting the concrete scrape against his knees, and pulled his freezing, shivering body into a clumsy embrace. He felt Light jump in response, he felt his confusion, but L only hugged him closer, even closer, deepening the faint pocket of heat between them from where they were pressed together.

"Light-kun," L murmured to him, some part of himself still wondering what the hell he was doing, but the rest somehow not giving even the slightest shit. "I'll tell the truth to you now, if you want to hear it."

"Ryuu… Ryuuzaki? What are you –"

L had decided. No matter what, one thing was certain now – whether or not this was a second chance of winning.

"…I'm sorry."

Light was confused as L pulled away and got up, reaching a hand out to him. "…Why?"

L wasn't going to let himself die again. He wasn't going to let either of them die again. Not this time around.

At least, not if he could help it.

"Let's go back inside, Light-kun. We're soaked."

And that was final.

"Oh man. I really wasn't expecting him to almost fall for Kira like that."

By now, there wasn't a single Shinigami who wasn't screaming bloody murder.

"Nu, please stop," Nix begged, "Please."

"What?"

The method by which a Shinigami may be killed was known by few. In fact, they'd all been fast asleep when Rem had casually exposited it to Misa, much like they were every time either of them were on screen in general, so everyone missed out.

But there was one, very consistent way to cause a Shinigami near-mortal pain and anguish that many had come to know over the ages.

And that was puns.

"You're all being such wimps. Hmm, now, let's see…" Nu goggled at the portal to the Human world curiously. "I wonder. Is L just pretending to be his friend? I suppose the truth…"

"Nu, no…"

"…Will soon come…"

"Please, have mercy..."

"…To Light."

Someone in the back sobbed. More than likely Sidoh.

L sat staring out the rain-streaked window at the dark sky outside, towel still on head, watching and waiting without a word. Without moving. He still felt like he was in a dream, and found he wasn't inclined to believe otherwise until he had solid proof that tomorrow would indeed arrive, and that it would stay that way without any disruption.

He could feel Light's eyes on him from the bed nearby, smell his still-damp hair, and hear his unspoken questions.

L had been busy trying to predict the myriad of possibilities that this strange turn of events could lead to, but one thing he hadn't been expecting was for him to get up and sit in the chair beside him. Light did so in silence, without looking over, simply sitting down and looking out at the sky just the same.

The cold weight of the chain around L's wrist felt like a lifeline.