So it was the next week and this time Lawrence made sure to call Alison so he could see Diana, but before he headed home he stopped off at Adam's apartment. Adam was getting sick and he had no medicine. Medicine was a luxury Adam couldn't afford. Everything was a luxury. Lawrence was in Adam's bathroom putting an array of cold medication away for future use, throwing away empty advil containers as he went.
He spotted Adam's prescription for Xanax and opened it up to see only half of the pills were gone. The prescription was almost a month old. It seemed Adam was trying to make his medication for anxiety stretch since he lacked the money and medical coverage to keep it going. Lawrence felt a little bad for snooping but he was just looking out for Adam's best interest and his health, or lack thereof, truly concerned the doctor.
Lawrence could here Adam stirring in the other room and walking to the kitchen , possibly to get something to drink. He capped the prescription and put them back in place and closed the mirror medicine cabinet, straightening out his hair just slightly before he washed his hands. It was a habit, a good one, but a habit nonetheless and he just couldn't break it. The hospital had become his life.
In the other room Adam was filling up a glass of water to sooth his raw and dry throat, gulping it in earnest as if he was dying of thirst. When the water level diminished some he was able to see through the glass and what he could see was something sitting in the chair that wasn't there before. It was the same chair that puppet was sat in that night.
Adam lowered the cup to see a clown doll propped up against one of the pillows and before he knew it the glass slipped free from his fingers. It crashed to the ground with a resounding shatter and Adam was frozen in place, his pulse pounding in his ears in petrified horror. Where the hell did that clown come from anyway?
Lawrence came running, more like staggering, into the room looking absolutely deshelved with the exception of his hair. How he had perfect hair every waking moment was a mystery to Adam and it made him wonder if the doctor was even human.
"Are you okay? What happened?" Lawrence asked.
"N-nothing. The glass... It just slipped," Adam lied.
"Here, let me-" Lawrence began to say when he struggled to get to the ground to pick up the broken glass.
"No, it's fine-"
Adam went down to the floor to pick up the shards before Lawrence could and as he went for one of them him and Lawrence's hands touched. It was sappy just like a romantic comedy were the boy and the girl had feelings for eachother but were too shy to say anything. But they were grown men and for all Adam knew the fuzzy feeling wasn't mutual.
They stared wide eyed at eachother for a beat until they were both drawing their hands back with nervous smiles. Adam had the shards in hand and raised up from the ground to throw them away. He turned around to see Lawrence on his knees, using his cane to try and help him up but falling back down instead.
"Lawrence," Adam said a little concerned, rushing over to help the doctor up. He slung one of Lawrence's arms over his shoulders and attempted to heft him up, grunting slightly when his lack of strength failed him and they both fell to the ground.
Adam was flat on his back with Lawrence on top of him, pinning him firmly to the ground. He caught his breath and peered up at Lawrence who was only mere inches away from his face. Their pants of breath mingled together between them and Adam's heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. He knew it was an accident but this position left him vulnerable and open.
Lawrence was between Adam's open legs with his crotch pressing into his backside and he couldn't believe how uncomfortable Adam could be right now. He eased some of his weight off of the young man to spare him. Adam was blushing profusely when he realized his pants were too tight and he thought Lawrence could see the obvious bulge in his pants, but he lucked out. Or Lawrence was just sparing him the embarrassment of pointing it out.
He was still on top of Adam but Adam wasn't pushing him away so that was a good sign, right? But he had no idea what to do or say in that particular moment and it looked as though Adam was waiting for him to say something. He decided on cracking a tiny joke.
"Thanks for breaking my fall," Lawrence laughed weakly.
"Yeah, thanks for breaking my back," Adam retorted.
"Sorry!"
Lawrence clambered off of him and sat back as he saw Adam hunch over to rub at his back, hoping to sooth it a little. Adam looked up at Lawrence and gave him a smile, getting up to his feet to give another try at helping Lawrence up. He felt terrible for dropping him in the first place.
Adam gave Lawrence his hand this time and it proved to be useful with the extra help of Lawrence's cane. Lawrence, more or less, got to his feet and thanked Adam for helping him. Adam flushed when he realized one of Lawrence's hands was resting on his hip, steadying himself. That's what Adam told himself.
"So, uh, is that yours?" Adam inquired, pointing over at the clown doll, hoping against hope that he'd say yes.
"Yeah," Lawrence grunted. "I got it for Diana. I'm seeing her today."
"You'd think kids would be scared of those things," Adam laughed nervously.
"Not Diana. She loves clowns. Are you afraid of them?"
"Not in general. Just certain ones, I guess."
"Listen, I hate doing this, but..." Lawrence trailed off, the regret weighing heavy in his voice, "I need to get going. I can't miss my little girl again this week."
"I understand, Lawrence. She's more important," Adam said ardently, meaning every word no matter how much he hated seeing Lawrence leave. "I, um, I'll..."
"Yes?" Lawrence asked expectantly.
"Tell her I said hello."
Lawrence's heart dropped a little to say the least, he was hoping Adam would say something about missing him or even loving him, but he didn't. He knew Adam wasn't planning on saying that, he could hear the hesitation and how he changed directions at the last moment.
"I will."
Adam nodded and looked away as if he was shy or something, not wanting to meet Lawrence's knowing gaze. The doctor stepped forward to put a warm hand against Adam's neck and pulled him towards him, their foreheads touching. Adam held his breath, his whole body freezing up down to the last synapse.
"Adam..."
Lawrence let the whisper get lost in the minimal space between them and pressed his lips softly against Adam's, lightly touching them with his. Adam pushed at his chest and shook his head, closing his eyes and licking his dry lips. Lawrence worried at his bottom lip and felt like he messed up by doing that.
"What's wrong?" Lawrence half sobbed, half choked.
"I can't, Lawrence... I don't..."
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have... I'm terrible," Lawrence muttered, pulling away and trying to retreat from Adam.
"No!" Adam said, grabbing Lawrence's wrist, "I want to kiss you, I really do. I just don't want to get you sick." Adam looked up shyly at Lawrence and blushed, his body getting warmer. He didn't know whether it was the cold or being extremely aroused.
"Adam, I'm a doctor. I can handle it. I'm around diseases all day. A little cold won't kill me," Lawrence reassured, pulling Adam into another soft kiss, barely there, a whisper of a kiss. He lost himself in a tizzy, his body and mind reeling with excitement.
He didn't expect Adam to react this way. Lawrence was just taking a leap a faith, spur of the moment kind of deal and hoped for the best. But when Adam put his hands on his shoulders and felt his lips press firmer into his, he knew. The doctor knew that Adam wanted him and he couldn't have found this out in a more unfortunate moment.
Adam squeaked when Lawrence's tongue breached his defenses and made itself at home in his mouth, making Adam's tongue move as well. Lawrence groaned and pulled away gently, ending the kiss and leaving Adam, and himself, wanting more. But they both knew Lawrence had somewhere to be.
"I got to go now," Lawrence whispered against Adam's damp lips.
"I know."
Lawrence gave him another sweet kiss, letting Adam nip at his bottom lip playfully like the young and virile man he is and Lawrence smiled through it until it ended. He pulled back to see Adam smile brightly, brighter than he'd ever seen the man do before.
Lawrence walked over to the clown doll and picked it up before heading towards the door with Adam following close behind to say goodbye. When he got to the door, Lawrence stopped in the doorway and turned around to grab Adam by the front of his shirt with his free hand. Before Adam could think any coherent thought Lawrence had crushed their mouths together in one last passionate kiss.
"Goodbye," Lawrence said tauntingly with a sly smile and a wink.
"Seeya," Adam panted after he was able to catch his breath, the biggest most idiotic grin covering his face.
The rest of the day went fairly well for Lawrence. Diana was more than pleased with the colorful clown with the silly smile and she was even more excited to see her father and spend time with him. She told him all about school and the words she learned this week, pronouncing some of them wrong but able to rattle off the definition at the drop of a hat.
Most of their time spent together was parading around the house, well mostly Diana, and drawing pictures for eachother. They played hide and seek at one point but Lawrence gave up after a couple of rounds claiming that he was no good at hiding. Diana didn't complain too much about that, she was having too much fun to care what about they were doing.
Diana told her father a story about a princess that traveled with her mother and father across the land to seek a place with amusement and happiness. How the princess had lived in an oppressive and joyless palace where having fun was a crime and anyone caught laughing would be exiled. She and her parents had found all the happiness in the world at the end of the Earth. And the princess lived there with her mommy and daddy for the rest of eternity, smiling everyday.
Lawrence was particularly fond of the story and how oblivious yet innocent it was. He was grateful the Diana never questioned why him and mommy weren't together anymore but he knew she was itching to. Maybe she understood that it was a subject he didn't want to discuss. Maybe she didn't want to know. She was such a smart little girl and Lawrence just loved her.
When Lawrence announced that it was bedtime Diana got in her pajamas and hid underneath her father's sheets, giggling with her clown doll she decided to name "Knock-Knock". Lawrence came in after her and pretended to not know where she was hiding until Diana threw the blankets back to surprise him.
"Come on, kiddo. I said it's bedtime," Lawrence smiled.
"I want to sleep with you tonight. In here where it's safe," she said softly, clutching at Knock-Knock.
"Okay, sweetheart," he soothed, patting her on the head. "Did you brush your teeth?"
"he nodded like a bobble head, showing off her teeth for inspection before she was tucked under the covers. Lawrence slid in beside her and cradled Diana in his arms until they both fell asleep, their "goodnights" and "I love you's" falling short to be consumed by the night.
And when Alison came to pick Diana up the next day he kissed her on the forehead and patted Knock-Knock on the head, saying a half-hearted hello and goodbye to Alison as they walked away. The car pulled out of the driveway and vanished soon after and it occurred to Lawrence he had forgotten something he wanted to tell Diana.
He forgot to tell Diana that Adam said hello.