A/N Sorry I've been M.I.A but I'm back and hoping to update more! Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy!
It's been a month since I last saw Bek's ghost. Since then we saved Jackson and he's now part of the pack and the Alpha pack has made t it clear that they are coming for us. I have been training the betas every day before and after school. I know they probably hate me right now, but they need to be safe no one is going to die… not if I can help it.
"Derek can we stop? I have two paper's to write and a test tomorrow to study for!" Scott whined as he blocked a punch from Boyd. "We have another hour of training left." I growled. "But Derek we have finals next week and projects due…" Erica growled as she got a hit in on Jackson. He let out a growl and began to swing wildly at Erica. She easily dodged his clumsy attacks. I stepped between them and shoved Jackson back. He lost his balance and stumbled back hitting nearby weight equipment. "What the hell Derek?" He roared as I let out a growl.
"Look at it this way if you don't train every day like we have been you won't have to worry about finals and school…" I said glaring at each of my betas. "Um… Derek how would that be a bad thing? I wouldn't mind skipping these sessions and school." Stiles said with a smile as he and Isaac circled each other. I turned my glare to the human and I laughed as I saw him flinch. "Well Stiles you won't have to worry about school if you skip out on training because you'll be dead." I said flatly. "What are you going to rip my throat out with your teeth?" Stiles asked looking over at me. Isaac saw his chance and he landed a good punch to Stiles face. "No that would be a mercy killing. Not only do you have to worry about Hunter's there's an Alpha pack after us. They will not hesitate to torture you and tear you to shreds… So go ahead and miss training, but you will be killed." I growled as each of the betas met my gaze. An eerie silence filled the basement as they took in my words.
"Derek what are you doing? This isn't you." Rebekah's voice said echoing off the walls.I looked around frantically for her, but she was nowhere to be found. "I have to protect them." I growled under my breath. "What was that?" Isaac asked studying me for a moment. "I said get back to work!" I barked snapping the betas back into action. 45 minutes later Peter walked down the stairs holding his cell phone. He walked over to me and studied me for a long moment. "I'm ordering pizza for dinner how many should I get?" I looked over at the betas and then back at my uncle. "8" I answered shortly. He only nodded and headed back up the stairs. 15 minutes later I sent the betas upstairs to get washed up for dinner.
I was walking up the basement stairs when I heard her voice again. "This anger isn't you… You can protect them without your rage Derek." "No I have to make sure they can protect themselves… they have to be ready." I growled back making my way up the stairs and shutting the door. I wanted into the kitchen and my heart ached at the scene. The pack was seated around the table digging into the pizza'a and laughing happily. I smiled at the scene and then my heart fell when I realized Rebekah wouldn't be walking into the room. "Come eat you big sourwolf!" Erica teased patting the chair next to her. I sat down and filled my plate with pizza. I ate silently taking in the betas banter. I finished my food and then stood. "Ok get your homework done tonight… help each other study…" I said awkwardly as I began to walk away. "Derek are you encouraging us to cheat?" Boyd asked with a smile. "I didn't say that!" I growled as I made my way up the stairs to my room.
I walked in and smiled as Rebekah's scent hit me. I quickly pulled off my shirt and laid down on the bed. I was watching the ceiling fan go around as the pack began to study and ask each other for answers on homework. I laughed as I heard Scott begging Stiles for help with his math homework. "He's smarter than everyone gives him credit for." Rebekah said appearing by the open window. My heart nearly stopped as I saw her. The moonlight reflected off of her pale skin and her eyes reflected violet in the light. "He is… when he focuses…" I said with a laugh as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Derek why are you letting your rage fuel you?" she asked softly reaching for my hand. I quickly pulled away and looked up at her. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you for a month." I growled. "I thought you didn't want to see me… so I've been watching you, but keeping my distance." "So why are you back?" I growled. "I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself anymore. You're better than that Derek!" "I'm not destroying myself Rebekah… I'm protecting my pack…" "How are you protecting them? You're not letting yourself feel! You're going to break one day and then what will your pack do without you!" She growled grabbing my hand and pulling my hand towards her so I was forced to meet her eyes.
My heart shattered all over again as my eyes met hers. The reality of her death hit me like a ton of bricks and left me gasping for air. I quickly regained my composure as her grip tightened on my hand. "Rebekah no one died when I let my rage take me over… everyone was safe. Then I let happiness and my other emotions take over and look what happened! You died Rebekah and it's all my fault! I am not going to let anyone else die! I don't care if I'm never happy again as long as it means my pack is safe! They won't die because of me!" I roared. Rebekah's eyes filled with sorrow as she took in my words. "My love you can't go on like this forever and if you're really thinking about your pack you would understand that by holding everything back and keeping it pent up you're going to break down and put them in more danger…" she said softly. She leaned down and kissed my hand. "I'll always be here for you Derek all you have to do is call me and I'll find you… I love you…" She said softly. I felt her eyes studying me for a few long moments and then she disappeared.
I was left alone with her words echoing around my mind. The room felt empty and cold as her presence in the room faded like a memory. I felt like I was about to break down and cry, but instead of tears falling I cursed myself for letting her get to me.