Welcome to the Hero Helper Application

by Cat Grant

The rules and expected behaviors for membership on phone apps are sometimes extremely amusing to read. Pokémon Go was particularly humorous when the makers had to add for users to watch where they were going and to not play while driving. Common sense was somewhere else, apparently. Seems getting hurt or dying while texting during inappropriate vehicular moments wasn't foolhardy enough. It took a backseat (no pun intended. Was that a pun?) when compared to the uneducated masses trying to catch a Squrtle.

And those were just warnings.

The latest and newest craze; apps now could have actual bylaws, rules, codes of conduct and violation penalties that were enforceable. If you hacked the aforementioned Pokémon Go in the hopes of being able to sit at home while your avatar was walking in circles to hatch some eggs, you could get kicked out and banned from playing. And all for just a game. Which begged the obvious question: was it worse to get hurt and maybe die, or to be forced not to play?

According to my son, Hermione Granger had thought expulsion was the worser fate than death... and since that was the opinion of the supposed "smartest witch of her age", then maybe she was on to something and we should all simply follow along.

Like sheep.

Lemmings off the cliff side.

Yes. I upped the stakes even further. Imagine my audacity at helping to create a phone app (in this case, the Hero Helper Application), an exclusive app for L-Phone users, that was invitation only... and there was no immediate way of realizing how to become eligible for an invitation until after you accepted said invitation. The process was simple in its execution, once in the know, but actually reaching the achieved levels and status to be recognized was trickier than trying to understand how the last episode of Lost could ever have been considered good, even if you threw in those unaired fifteen minutes of Hurley as the new Jacob.

(Relax. My son just pointed out that some of my references are dated. I'll try to stop. It's not like I referenced a snow globe and St. Elsewhere, is it?

Or some satanic looking 'dancing baby' to some ooga-chakka ooga-chakka.)

To oh-so-super (another pun!) secret process on the road to gaining the invite began simply enough by being a member and subscriber to the CatCo sponsored Super Spotter Application. I know, it sounds like self promotion, but all L-Phone apps have sponsors. CatCo simply put its brand above the title. And at this point, there's really no need to go into how the app worked, is there? The SSA was about all things Supergirl. And, hey... if you had to purchase a paid subscription to the National City Tribune and the other monthly and/or weekly publications CatCo had for sale, it was all worth it in the end for the exclusive content, right? But I digress.

Onto the invitation...

So, membership and PAID subscription to the SSA? Check.

Next, you had to be more than just a lurker troll type. Sure, you could simply enjoy the alerts when Supergirl was spotted. Read witness reports and quick blurbs that didn't make it into the actual printed articles. And candid photos. But it was the SSA Message Board that suddenly brought the whole thing to life in a way that the I, as creator and founder, had not foreseen.

Username StargateIsMyJam (identified as Jeffrey Malcolm, age thirteen) started it all. He posted an L-Chat selfie showing his family safe and sound after being saved by Supergirl... with said Hero alongside Jeffrey. Her arm casually draped on the thirteen year old's shoulder. But it's how the photo came about that's interesting. The Malcolm family home had been in the middle of a home invasion; and, hiding in his bedroom closet, a brave young Jeffrey posted on the SSA Message Board that he and his family were in trouble. Supergirl arrived within three minutes of his posting for aid.

(Now for the disclaimer)

There has never been any concrete proof that the Last Daughter of Krypton was an SSA subscriber, though there is now ample enough evidence that lends to the thought. But more on that later.

After the now famous StargateIsMyJam posting and subsequent photo, the message board lit up. Within two hours and, of course, the application crashed. A long, grueling forty-seven minutes later when it came back online, it crashed again. This would be the case for the next three weeks. (Twenty-one freaking days!). But even down, the SSA was being subscribed to by hundreds of L-Phone users per minute. Within twenty-four hours, the L-Phone was sold out within two hundred miles outside of the National City limits and the online L-Corp store had a listed delivery date of two months away.

I will admit here and now that I never envisioned that an app designed to keep up with National City's very own superhero, as well as to visually increase the CatCo logo, would turn into what it had become. Now, instead of small puff writings (that my assistant spends way too much time reading when she should be working!) from the Tribune, as well as a place to pick up some candid photographs of the Maiden of Might at cost, together we created an online forum that worked so much better than a spotlight in the sky or a silly red phone that was a direct line to the police commissioner.

(A moment, please... A spotlight? Really? Just commit crimes during the day!)

We had created a direct line to a Hero. But it wasn't just to Supergirl we wrote. Once enough servers were brought online to support the SSA (and the message board calmed down), postings from various users sought out help for their various problems... and other subscribers answered.

Take my favorite example:

GloryLives1998 (identified as Claire Kramer) posted to the SSA Message Board that she was worried about her kids walking home from school and having to walk past the park at Thirteenth Avenue and Main. In response, ImYourHuckleberry2 (identified Samuel Bode, a retired National City Postal Worker) now patrols the walkway at the park for those kids and the children of others. For free.

G1rlPow3rN0w (identified as Maria Bernechilli), owner and proprietor of the The Hole Truth Food Truck (the best gourmet doughnut holes in National City according to my assistant), also now sits her truck at that park in the afternoons, surprisingly enough at just the time when school lets out. I shouldn't mention that The Hole Truth gives out free samples to all schoolchildren between 3 and 4 every day that she's parked there.

I shouldn't also mention that a small blurb about the actions of said food truck made it into the CatCo online feed. That same week, the Super Spotter App went nuts to find Supergirl candidly stopping by The Hole Truth at closing time one evening and buying all of the available leftover doughnut holes.

The photo of Supergirl standing alongside Mrs. Bernechilli holds a place of honor next to the pictures of her son's college graduation, I'm told, on her home's wall of happiest memories.

Supergirl inspires us to be better... and we should be better, because we have the power to inspire her.

So, this is your official welcome to the Hero Helper Application.

If you haven't figured it out yet, it's your willingness and desire to be more than just another sheep or lemming that has afforded you this opportunity to join a community that wants to be something other than a cryer for help. Like me, you wish for National City to be THE place to live. We want the biggest and the brightest. And while we have Supergirl to lead our charge, even she needs support. Our support.

Can you provide that? If the answer's yes? Check.

As a member of the HHA, all subscription fees previously paid to the SSA (keep up with these acronyms, got it?) have already been refunded back into whichever banking institution from which it was paid. In cases of money orders or closed accounts and L-Sore gift cards, the monies were donated into various known Supergirl supported charities. We do encourage you to donate your refunded fees to any of these wonderful charities.

Second, you remember all of those rules and bylaws and codes of conduct I laughingly told you about at the beginning of this? Yes, it's time to look them over. This is non negotiable. Please take the time to read over each point... and yes, there's a lot of them, but nothing worth having comes easily. You will find the link HERE. Your HHA membership will be considered inactive until this is completed.

Once that is finished, next you will receive your initial Rank Classification between Rank One to Rank Six. This has caused a lot of controversy in the past, so I will try and explain it as simply as I can (even my assistant finally got it): the world isn't fair.

Understand?

In all honesty, however, the real reason your HHA starting Ranks can differ is that the SSA has thousands upon thousands of members. We estimate that the entire population of National City and its surrounding areas (excluding those obvious exclusions) will have membership within the next two years. And because of that, there is simply no logistically possible way to go through every eligible SSA member and offer them HHA membership at the exact same level. To that, please trust that the Moderators of the the HHA are carefully screening all invitees and are offering the appropriate Rank.

If you get offered Rank One, you got an early invite. Congrats. If you're Rank Two through Six... sorry. We're late. Have a higher Rank as an apology.

See? As fair as we here at HHA can make it in this unfair world (that will keep my assistant from pouting. A pitiful sight to see, I promise you).

And lastly, there is golden rule I live by. This rule has been affectionately referred to as Cat's Law. I didn't name it, but I had (past tense, you notice) enough respect for the person who came up with it that I let it slide for too long, and once the HHA Message Board got a hold of it, well... all I will say on the matter now is to never let affection for lose less fortunate than you cloud good business judgement. So here it is...

Cat's Law - Never allow THE SECRET to be known.

The Hero Helper Application is about many things, some of which I've discussed here, as well as many other points of order mentioned in the Rules and Regulations page. With each Rank achieved, new perks and considerations are provided. Service begets reward, and I am generous with those I find worthy. But above all else, this application is about helping Supergirl.

It is to my everlasting shame that I, in a fit of hubris, once attempted to break Cat's Law. And worse, I attempted to break Cat's Law directly with the focus of said Secret. It almost cost me everything. I still suffer nightmares about all of the "what if's" that might have been suffered due to my forgetting how important peace of mind had to be maintained to actually be Supergirl. I will never forget again. I pray you never have to learn in the way I did.

Please. If you cannot abide by Cat's Law, please refuse this invitation.

There have been, to date, twenty-two rejections of this invitation. In all but one instance, I applauded the reasoning behind the decline, and my respect for those individuals rose to previously unheard of heights. The lone remaining refusal I still don't understand, but I'm sure they had their reasons, whatever those might be.

Failure to adhere to Cat's Law is an entirely different matter. So far, there have been nine hundred eighty-six attempts to break said Law, with only seventy-three of those having been classified as accidental.

In regards to those seventy-three, each instance was investigated thoroughly and the appropriate steps were taken to minimize any short term and long term possible problems that might occur. Each guilty member was subject to the appropriate censure, up to possibly including dismissal from the HHA.

For the nine hundred thirteen intentional violations of Cat's Law, which include disgruntled members, as well as the occasional hopeful rising super villain, each was dealt with harshly and without reservation. Remember people, Supergirl has the support of our fine city's municipal workers (police, emergency, fire, etc.) and Federal approval (anyone remember Madam President Marsdin?). The HHA has some high ranking members.

And hello? Cat Grant here.

Here is your first and final warning. Keep Cat's Law close to your heart... and heaven help you if you choose not to, because no one else will.

But I don't like talking about that anymore.

Let's go back to being happy.

The Hero Helper Application is about being proactive. About helping, not only Supergirl, but to each other. To help make National City the crown of the free world.

I want to be the very first to say "welcome", but I also get to be the first to officially say "thank you" for all that you have done... and for all that you and I will do, together. The Hero Helper Application can be all that you want it to be and more. We are a community based around service, but we are so much more. We are friends, brothers, sisters; we offer deals and benefits. Membership DOES have its advantages.

So, let's get started.

If you've not already completed the Rules and Regulations as indicated somewhere above, here's another LINK to do so. Now. Full membership will not be activated until you do so. And, hey... you'll get to all of the really good stuff after you're signed in.

The HHA can be one of the most fulfilling memberships you have the opportunity to be a part of. Drink the Kool-Aid. Trust me (can I put in the maniacal laugh now?). Don't let this opportunity slip past you. I know the waters look dark, but it will be okay. We're all here to support you, and we want you to help support us. Dive in.

It'll be worth it.

Sincerely,

Cat Grant, CEO

CatCo Worldwide Media

Creator & Founder of the Super Spotter Application

Second Official Member of the Hero Helper Application

(Second? Weren't expecting that, were you?)