Chapter Three
"Enough shitting around," Johanna declares, "we've wasted enough time over the past few weeks just milling around doing nothing. If we're serious about doing this then we have to talk about it. And, realistically, start to work when we return after the Halloween holidays."
We're all sitting in the classroom where Johanna tutors the Physics students. Nobody questions why we're sitting in a classroom during lunch-because, really, most of them prefer us out of their way-and we can discuss this openly without worry of being overheard. Clove couldn't make it because she has a film club meeting and we don't want any suspicion aroused by her not showing up.
"I agree," says Finch. "We're wasting precious time."
"But realistically, what can we do?" asks Annie. "It's not as simple as opening the students' eyes to how corrupt Snow is. How are we supposed to pull those who feel the same as us out of the cracks? We barely had the bravery to do it ourselves!"
The room laps into silence as we try to think it over.
"Do you think if we complain to the school board, they'd make a case out of it?" Finnick purposes.
"Depends on if they want to listen to a bunch of angsty teenagers," I reply. "And Snow would have had to have done something really bad. Like relationship with a student sort of bad."
Johanna, who sits on the desk at the front of the classroom like she owns the joint, taps her chin thoughtfully with her fingernails. "We need to have some adults on our side," she concludes. "Are there any teachers we can trust?"
"Mr Abernathy," I say immediately. "When we were in the hospital waiting room together he said he couldn't wait until he retired. He hates Principal Snow, just like us."
"Miss Trinket seems alright too," says Finnick.
"Well that's easily explained: they're both fucking," Johanna scoffs.
We stare at her. "What?" Finch is the first to ask.
"Oh come on! Don't pretend you don't know!" Johanna insists. "They're always sneaking off together; stealing glances and shit."
I roll my eyes. Ridiculous. If Mr Abernathy and Miss Trinket had a relationship, we'd all know about it. Something like that can't be hidden, right? I look at Peeta, who's still eating his lunch bit by bit, and ask, "You doing okay?"
"Yeah," he answered, allow he doesn't look too good.
"You've eaten some," I say. "Don't force yourself."
"I have to though," he replies.
"No." I gently remove his lunchbox from the table and put it underneath. "Out of sight, out of mind. You may have to eat but you can't force yourself to if you're feeling ill." I thread our fingers together and we hold hands on top of the table. I feel his hand shaking a little in mine and I lean forward and kiss it gently.
"Are you two okay?" Johanna asks.
"We're fine," I say.
"Do you think Madge would be willing to join us?" Finch asks.
"I don't see a reason why not," Finnick answers. "Katniss was the one who got suspended after that brawl with Cato and Gale even though Gale said some very inappropriate things about Madge without even getting so much as a slap on the wrists."
"We should definitely ask her," Johanna concludes.
I hope Madge is willing to join us. We need as many people as we can get. If we end up having to just go to the school board then we're going to need as much students as we can get to prove that Snow is corrupt.
Annie is chewing viciously on her fingernails. She does this when she's lost in thought. Our eyes fall on her and she doesn't notice until Finnick gives her a little nudge. "What?" she blinks.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I ask.
"Oh." Annie places both her hands on the table, her eyes scrunched as she stares at her chewed up fingernails. "I just have a thought in mind. It mightn't work though until I know all the details so I'd rather not share it just yet."
Johanna picks her satchel off the floor and pulls her pill box out of her bag. She has one of those long days of the week ones for her mood stabilisers and-I only discovered recently-antidepressants. I feel bad for submitting to peer pressure and calling her Polar Bear. I made up Peeta's nickname but the rest came from other people. Foxface, Nuts and Polar Bear weren't from my head.
Johanna throws her pills into her mouth and downs some water to make the swallowing easier. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and sighs. "So that's all we've got?" she says. "Talking to Mr Abernathy, Miss Trinket and Madge to try to get them on our sides?"
"It's a start," Peeta says.
"I will find out more about my plan for when we come back after Halloween," Annie promises.
Johanna rubs her eyes with exhaustion. "You're right, Peeta," she sighs. "It's a start. I'm just worried that we won't be able to do this."
"We will," Finch says, tying to sound confident. "At least we have a foothold to start with. It might spread the word a little."
"What if Snow hears about it?" Johanna asks.
I scoff. "It's unlikely he'd believe that we can do anything."
"I suppose you're right," Johanna admits. She blows a raspberry and scratches her head. "So . . . plans for Halloween?"
"None," Finch answers.
"Non-existent," Annie sighs.
"Peeta and I are going on our first date on Friday but I don't think we have anything planned for Saturday," I explain.
Finch frowns. "Your first date?" she asks.
"You've been dating for three weeks now," says Finnick.
"True," says Peeta. "But we haven't exactly had a date-date yet."
"You know, where you go out to eat or to see a film etcetera?" I add.
I was kind of surprised when Peeta and I realized that we hadn't had a proper date yet. Everything had just been such a jumble. What with Peeta going into hospital, my realizing that I truly liked him, my suspension, the pregnancy . . . we never got a chance to actually go out together on a date. So after my appointment with the midwife, we're going to go to the Diner 'District 10' that isn't too far from the hospital.
The thought of the appointment with the midwife makes my stomach churn. I place my hand on my stomach and look down, thankful that I'm not showing.
"Well, then, enjoy it," says Johanna. "More than we're doing."
"Even Prim has got plans . . . She's going to a party," I mutter.
"Ooooh, does she have a date?" asks Annie.
My nose subconsciously scrunches up. "Rory Hawthorne," I say.
Johanna starts to laugh while the others look somewhat surprised. "Really?" Finch asks in disbelief.
"Yeah, I know. Fate is a bit of a bitch," I say.
"Don't let him hear anything about our plans," Finnick says. "I don't know a lot about that kid. He always kept to himself when I was at Gale's house. I don't know if we could trust him or not."
"I personally think that we can," says Peeta. "He was very kind to Katniss."
"But you're hardwired to see the best in people," Johanna reminds Peeta.
"Which you say like it's a bad thing," Peeta smiles.
I squeeze Peeta's hand and he directs his smile at me. I beam back, proud to be able to call such a lovely person my boyfriend. He was able to see the best in me and that wasn't an easy feat, especially considering the way I was at the beginning of the year. I just hope that we're able to overcome the obstacles ahead without tripping and falling.
I'm not sure I'll be able to get back up if I fall over.
~xXx~
The hospital is daunting. As soon as Peeta and I set foot in the building I'm reminded of many things. Of when my dad was rushed in here after his accident. Of how Prim and I were sent home with one of mum's friends because we were too young to stay sitting around in a waiting room. Of when I ran with Mr Abernathy after the paramedics as they wheeled Peeta through A&E after he went into cardiac arrest.
I hate hospitals.
The only difference now is that my hand is safe in Peeta's. My heart is beating fast in my chest and the warmth provided by having Peeta's hand around mine keeps me sane. I'm worried about what this appointment is going to be like. Even if it's irrational, I keep feeling scared that I'm going to be told that the baby is going to have to be removed by a gigantic hook or something instead of natural labour because I'm so young.
"It'll all be okay," Peeta tells me, seeing the concern on my face after we check in.
"What if the Midwife treats me differently because I'm so young? Like I'm a slut or something?" I reply.
"It's not her job to judge you," says Peeta. "She won't anyway. You'd be surprised how understanding they can be here."
"When they're not bumping up my mum's hours, that is," I mutter.
We pass a waiting room on the way to the stairs. I notice a blob of yellow out of the corner of my eye but wouldn't have thought anything of it if I hadn't been pulled to a halt by the voice. "Katniss? What are you doing here?"
It's clearly a sneer. A sneer I wouldn't mistake anywhere.
Glimmer gets off her seat and approaches us. It's weird seeing her in such a casual environment. I've only ever really interacted with her in school or at parties. Her skinny jeans are so tight on her legs that I wonder if she just painted her legs navy to pass them off as jeans. There's a grid penned onto her forearm. I can only see half of it because of how her hand rests on her hip.
I panic for something to say to her. I can't say I'm in for a midwife appointment, she'd spread it like wildfire! She'd make stuff up, things that aren't even true! Maybe say that Peeta's the father and we're planning to elope together to Greece to avoid the shame that we've brought on our families!
"I'm having a check-up," Peeta lies smoothly. "I've been having them ever since I got out of hospital and Katniss always comes with me for moral support."
A weight lifts off my chest and I exhale with relief. I lean my head against Peeta's arm and enjoy the look of dissatisfaction that our answer has given Glimmer. She was definitely looking for gossip. Maybe something along the lines of STD treatment. "What are you doing here, Glimmer?"
"If you must know I'm being tested for allergies," Glimmer sniffs. She picks at the grid on her arm. I can see it better now. On each square of the grid, there's a tiny bump. Except for one near the bottom, which has swollen up like a balloon.
"My god, what is that?!" I exclaim.
"Each square represents something different. The huge one is tracker jacker venom." Glimmer huffs in agitation. "The fact that it's swollen means I'm allergic."
Tracker Jackers are a species of wasp. Their venom is extremely painful and can cause hallucinations but not death. If you don't take the stingers out of your skin immediately then it can cause an infection and maybe you'll get a limb chopped off but I've never heard of anyone dying from it. It seems that a sting is lethal to Glimmer now.
"Urgh, whatever," says Glimmer, throwing her arm down by her side. "I'm not going to be seen talking to you losers any longer." With that, she spins around and returns to her seat.
Peeta and I head up to the third floor of the hospital, where the Midwifery is located. There aren't many others in the waiting room. This puts me at ease. I don't think that I'm in danger of meeting anyone I know here-especially not in the Midwifery-but after running into Glimmer I already feel a little at risk.
My Midwife is a kindly lady called Portia. She asks me a couple of questions about my family history and when my last period was. My bloods are also taken, so is my blood pressure, and I'm asked to give a urine sample. It's safe to say that I've never been more embarrassed in my entire life. I had to hand Portia a container of my pee while my boyfriend was sitting right beside me!
I'm a little overwhelmed by the end of the appointment but I'm glad it's done and it's something I can check off my list.
"You're just over eight weeks, right?" asks Portia.
"Yes," I answer.
"Then I'll book you in for a dating scan in three weeks' time. Does that suit okay?"
I nod numbly. I'm going to see the baby that soon? Is it even so much as a blob yet?
"Do you know what you intend to do with your child?" asks Portia as she pens herself a note about booking my scan for me. "Are you planning to keep it and put them into care while you go to school or . . . ?"
"Oh, no. I'm putting it up for adoption," I reply.
Portia nods her understanding and adds that to her notes about me. "I'd recommend keeping an eye out in your local area for people who may be interested in adopting your child. Sometimes having your baby close at hand is more comforting than having them taken away to the other side of the world."
I doubt there's anyone in my area wanting a baby. They're all capable of doing it themselves. I don't even know how I feel about the idea of having my baby so close at hand. It's a little unnerving for me to even think about. When it grows older, what will they think if their mother was so close but didn't want to care for them?
I tell Portia I'll try.
"From what I can tell from what you've told me, I'd say your due date will be sometime in the middle of May," says Portia, shifting through her notes just to make sure. "Was that what you expected?"
"Yes, something like that," I tell her.
"I understand from what your mother tells me of your situation that the father is unaware of the fact that you're pregnant," Portia continues.
I nod. "That's right."
"Do you intend to ever tell him?"
Peeta takes my hand and I'm glad for something to hold onto. "Am I obligated to?" I enquire.
"You aren't obligated to do anything," Portia answers. She plays with her pen, threading it through her fingers over and over again. I watch the pen with extreme focus, glad for a place to put my eyes. "It's more a question of morality. Since the baby is going to be put up for adoption, do you really want the father to know of its existence?"
"I don't even think he'd care," I sigh.
Portia seems to understand what I'm saying but she doesn't let the subject matter go. "I would recommend telling him," she says. "You don't have to do it immediately but it is in both your and the baby's interests. If the baby has a defect then we'd need to know the father's medical history."
She has a point. Everything she is saying makes sense and I hate her for it.
"As I've said, you don't have to do it immediately," says Portia. "It's just something to think about." She signs a prescription for some vitamins and hands it to me. "I'll see you in eight weeks, Katniss."
I nod, the numb sensation in my body feeling like it has swallowed me up completely.
A/N: I apologize for there not being an update for Kindred last week. It was a very busy week for me and I was lacking in inspiration for it. I'll try to get a new chapter written and posted for this Friday, as usual :-)