There's always that one moment in your life where your decision means the world; not just to you, but to somebody else too. For a lot of us, that moment comes much earlier than we're able to make the right decision, whether we know so or not. The rest are either extremely misfortunate people who have to suffer this even earlier, or lucky bastards who get to make it late in life. And sometimes this means seeing there is no right choice, only a choice that can do the least damage.
I, like the majority of sleazy humanity, was given a choice; shown two paths; dealt a hand to bet on; when I was too young. Too foolish. Too much of an arrogant prat.
Though I didn't know it, I had it all. It never seemed like I did, though. Father never thought I was good enough. Mother never stood up to Father. And no matter what, I could never be as great as the precious Potter, or become the Anti-Potter I dreamt of being. But I had everything. I had money and love, and really, what more could anyone ask for? Ginny was the reason I hadn't killed myself yet, and yet somewhere along the way, Ginny was gone. Gone forever. And I couldn't help but know that it was all my fault, that if only I'd stayed in that hotel room with her, if I could've protected her better, then she wouldn't be gone.
She was so lively, so lovely, so simply alive. Everything she did was full of spirit and her brightness and her loving energy. Her eyes use to watch me with so much gentle intensity that I couldn't help but love her. But now, she's gone, the money's gone, and there's nothing left, no one left.
Nothing left but memories slipping through my fingers like shimmering beads of water through my palm.
Nothing left but an ache for what should have been done, what I should have done.
Nothing left but the antagonizing guilt that slices through my soul worse than any curse could do; guilt for what I did do.
Nothing left.
Nothing.
A/N So… What'd you think? This is more angsty than what I normally write, so tell me how you liked/disliked it, with just a click of that special little button labeled, Review!