Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, I'm trying not to think about that. In my own perfect world, I own it.

You guys are seriously, seriously, amazing! I've never felt so confident with reviews before. Thank you so much. Oh, and did anyone see Ellen at the SAG Awards...GORGEOUS. I haven't seen photos of them all yet, but the ones I saw...I'm proud to be a Grey's fan, thats for sure.

"Miranda!" Derek practically screamed down the hallway for the second time that day, "You have to tell me whats going on. I saw her in the procedure room. Miranda, I saw her...she was getting a lumbar puncture!" Derek felt the grief instantly swarm over him. He knew that something was terribly wrong with Meredith, yet he didn't know exactly what he could do about it.

"Look at me, Shepherd," Bailey walked closer to the attending, practically getting into his face, "You may be an attending, but you don't scare me. You broke that poor girl more than once. You hurt her in ways that no one ever deserves to be hurt, and if I tell you what is wrong with her, you are going to try to save her. If you do that, I'm at risk for you hurting her again and I will NOT let you hurt her again on my watch, do you understand?!"

"Well," Derek cleared his voice, taking a step back, "That doesn't mean I won't try to save her anyways." He sighed, turning around and heading back towards the nurses station, he had to find out what was going on with Meredith.

"Damn stupid," Bailey muttered under her breath, walking the other direction.

"Meredith!" Izzie cried, storming into her room followed by an equally distressed George and Alex, "Why would you not tell us that you were admitted? We had to hear it from the chatty nurses!"

Meredith groaned, leaning back into the pillows. Her head was starting to hurt again and Izzie's endless banter was not helping. She knew that she should have told her friends earlier, but her gut was stopping her. The severity of her situation had yet to hit her and she was honestly quite distressed.

"Whats the matter?" Alex asked, taking another step into the room. He instantly blamed himself, just as he had been doing his whole life. He should have noticed that she was losing weight and that her palor was changing, yet he still didn't know was was wrong.

"Can you please just tell us what is wrong?" Izzie begged, "Meredith, we had to hear from Rose that you passed out in the middle of McAsshole's surgery, that was not what I was expecting to hear from her."

Meredith took a deep breath and looked over at Cristina, who wasn't providing much back-up for her person, "So...I'm pregnant." She hesitated, thinking about how to word the next phrase, "But also..."

"There's a but also?" Izzie asked worriedly, sitting on the side of Meredith's bed, "Mer, what's the but?"

"I...I have acute lymphoblastic leukemia with a brain lesion," she frowned. No matter the number of times she had said and heard it, she couldn't get used to the face that she was dying.

Izzie, George, and Alex all froze. Izzie looked like a deer in headlights and George looked as if he had just seen a ghost. Alex turned the other direction, running his hands through his hair in a distressed manner.

"Mer..." Izzie began, solemnly, "I'm, I'm sorry."

"I'm having surgery in two days," she smiled softly, trying to ease the tension in the room, "According to Bailey, Addison is coming up here to help with the baby and figure out a treatment plan that won't harm the baby. I know that I have a choice right now...between keeping the baby and...but I want to keep the baby, I can't...I can't not."

Izzie reached forward and pulled Meredith into an awkward hug, but relaxed in her friend's arms. Meredith was the glue of the interns, she was the one that held them together; she didn't even want to think what life would be like if she didn't make it.

Derek had wanted to hear it from Meredith, but he didn't. He had to hear it through a nurse in the hall. Apparently, Rose was storming around angrily, thinking that Derek had been cheating on her while Derek felt his world crashing around him.

She was sick. She was dying. She was potentially dying. She was having brain surgery, and he was not allowed to perform it. Feeling tears threaten to spill from his eyes, he laid his head on his desk, not willing to move. He wanted to rush into Meredith's hospital room, scoop her into his arms, and tell her that it would be okay; but in actuality, he didn't know if everything was going to be okay.

Instead of going to Meredith's room and trying to reconcile what he had obviously broken, he remained in solitude, head on his desk, wondering when things went wrong and why Meredith Grey never got a break from the hardships that she always was facing.

Hours later, after a brief conversation with Miranda Bailey, Addison Montgomery strode into Seattle Grace wearing stiletto heels, a crisp white blouse, and a black pencil skirt. The second she had gotten the phone call that had changed her outlook on life, she had bought a plane ticket and boarded the plane.

She had talked to Miranda about what Derek had done to Meredith, and was on a hunt to make him understand what he had let go. Approaching his office door, she burst in, not trying to hide her anger.

"You are stupid!" she cried, hitting Derek on top of the head with her hand, just as she had done to Sam the first time visiting the practice in LA.

"Nice to see you too," he frowned, looking surprised to see his ex-wife standing in his office. His eyes were red from crying and his hair was matted in every which way. Gazing at the clock on his desk he realized it was nearly four in the morning. Hours since Meredith Grey's world had crashed around her.

"What possessed you to break Meredith Grey?" she frowned, crossing her arms, "Why would you ever hurt her?"

"Addie..." he sighed, not thinking clearly. He was confused as to why she was standing in his office, but more confused as to why she was preaching at him about Meredith, "What are you doing in Seattle at four in the morning?"

"Coming back," she shrugged, looking at her ex-husband. It was weird how her feelings for him had basically vanished, "To help with Meredith's case."

"What gives you the right to help with Meredith?" he asked angrily.

"What gives you the right to care?" she snarled, "You broke her Derek, you...I haven't gone to see her yet but from what I hear shes been a mess for the past month because of you. You could have had some decency and not flaunted your slutty scrub nurse in her face!"

"Last time I checked," she shrugged, "Meredith was the slutty intern that you didn't want flaunted in your face."

"The first time I saw the two of you standing together, I knew I was never getting you back. I know that you'll never love anyone, and I mean anyone, like you loved Meredith. You can't be that guy, the guy that hurts two women that he loves."

"Well," he sighed, running his hands through his hair, "Apparently I am that guy."

The next morning, Addison slowly walked into Meredith's hospital room, taking note of the I.V in her arm. Her hair, which Addison knew would be gone soon, was sprawled out on the pillow and she was snoring gently.

"Meredith," Addison placed a hand on Meredith's arm, "Meredith." Meredith's eyes slowly fluttered open in confusion, as the previous days events all came flooding back to her.

"Addison?" she said softly, smiling lightly, "You're here." Although Meredith knew that she had changed Addison's life forever, she immediately felt comfort in the familiar face.

"I told Dr. Bailey that we wouldn't need any interns on your case," she smiled back, remaining professional, "I need to give you an ultrasound to see how far along you are. And yes, I'm here, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Except to get my stuff."

"Thanks...Dr. M-"

"You can call me Addison, I may be your doctor, but you can call me Addison," she lifted up Meredith's hospital gown, squirting the gel on her stomach. Meredith flinched at the coldness as Addison spread it around.

"It looks to me," Addison began, moving the machine around Meredith's flat stomach, "That you're almost three months along. Did you choose to ignore the signs?"

"I...I didn't get morning sickness very bad and then Derek and I were on awful terms so I didn't want to get a pregnancy test, and then all my other symptoms came."

"You know," Addison shrugged, putting the machine back, "You're a fighter, Grey. I watched you come back from the dead. You held a bomb inside a body cavity. I'm sure you've been told this countless times, but you'll kick the cancer's ass."

"Thanks," Meredith said meekly, sinking into her covers. Nothing had hit her yet, the severity of her situation didn't even seem to be a factor in her life.

"And for what its worth," Addison sat on the edge of Meredith's bed, "I just saw Derek, who had just broken up with his scrub nurse, because he is obviously in love with you still, Meredith. I wish that he had loved me even a fraction of how he loves you. I'll come by later."

Meredith squeezed her eyes together in an attempt not to think about the love of her life. Everything was changing, and she wanted him to be with her, but she knew that for once in her life, she couldn't let a man enter whenever he felt the time was right.