A/N: Hey guys thanks for stopping by once again, and unfortunaly this is the last chapter for my roast of Gundam Wing. It turns out when you write things on paper and then type them up they're not as many pages as you thought you had. This update is a little longer than the last update and there is a link embedded into the story to give you a better visual of the slideshow that plays near the end. If you comment on it, that's great, just bear in mind that I've never done anything like that and is meant to capture the feelings of the roast, the good, the bad, and the funny. Also if anyone knows how to make AMVs on a Mac with iMovie, PM me or email me! Once again, this is the last update for this story and if you're a Gundam Wing fan, check out the stories on my profile list. :) Thanks again for giving this story a chance and may your lives be full of laughter. Oh, and the video has been up for a while just to see if it would work, and, lol, I think someone already commented on it. I tried putting the link on this story but it didn't work so it's going to be on my profile is anyone wants to see it incase it doesn't work this time.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or things that are obviously owned by other people or entities. Remember, this is a roast and everyone is going to get bashed, some more than others based on how they were portrayed by the anime, so bare that in mind. And remember, this story is rated M for language and sexually oriented jokes.
CA Presents: The Roast of Gundam Wing—Finale!
Trowa got off the clown chair and made his way towards Atreyu.
"Ah, the suicidal clown that would not even get hired at Dorothy's birthday party. At least he adds some form of comic relief as a clown, unlike Heero."
Atreyu gave a nervous smile towards Trowa and backed away from the mic.
"The thing that I want to know is why do people pair me up with Une. Really? If I'm not 'mentally stable' as some people put it, why put me with that nut job." asked Trowa half serious and half humorously.
The crowd had a mixed reaction towards the silent soldier, as they weren't sure if he was being funny or serious.
The small awkward silence was broken by none other than Duo as he stood up and yelled, "'Cause you can't do your sister!"
That broke the silence as the crowd laughed and the monitor cameras focused on Catherine as she crossed her arms and shook her head.
Duo, now by Trowa's side said, "It's okay buddy, there are a couple of people who put you with queen bee over there," as he placed his arm around Trowa's shoulders and pointed to Relena.
"Eh, that's okay, I guess."
"Yeah, not to mention you also get a lot of action from blondie over there," said Duo as he winked in Quatre's direction.
Trwoa blinked and couldn't help but turn a little red at the sight of the look on his sister's face. A combination of shock and "I've always had a hunch."
Trowa tried to say something in his defense but couldn't get it out, so he just walked away knowing that this was a roast and he couldn't do much about it.
"And on that note, Heero you have a terrible taste in women. You can do much better than Duo!" yelled Dorothy while standing.
"Hey! You're a psycho bitch ya know!"
"Well at least I've never had to clarify my gender!" she yelled at Duo who was now standing in front of her.
"Dorothy, you have to admit, stabbing someone for trying to give you advice is totally a sign of being a psycho bitch. I mean poor Quatre!"
Half of the crowd "ooh"-ed and the other half was surprised that Heero was getting up to say something.
"Heero!"
"I love you!"
"I wanna have your baby!"
Yelled several fans amongst the crowd that had several "1xR" signs with a red circle and a slash through it and had a "1x2" with a heart around it.
"For all the times I don't have a gun on me," said Dorothy.
"Oh boy, you and me both girl. The last time Heero stood up in front of a crowd it was in class and he killed the people's souls of sheer boredom, and he was only introducing himself. And he used my name! Making me look like a total loser," said Duo as he crossed his arms and stood next to Dorothy's seat.
"Maxwell you already are one. I don't know who's more emo, you calling yourself the God of Death or Trowa with that hair of his."
The crowd, Quatre, Relena, and Dorothy chuckled.
"And as a matter of fact, I didn't know who's more fucked up here on stage. Trowa for rarely talking, you for talking too much, or hot shot over there for hosting this thing."
The crowd laughed again as Atreyu gulgped in fear of what the perfect soldier could do to him if he encountered him again, but laughed at Heero's attempt at stand up comedy.
"Aw, hey now, I have yet to blow myself up He-man," said Atreyu as he put a hand on his shoulder.
He received an icy glare from Heero but knew he had to relieve the mic from him.
Duo gave a sigh of relief and Dorothy said, "And that's why I carry a bottle of Grey Goose in the limo."
"Dorothy! Shh!" said Relena with a finger over her lips with a scowl.
"Relena don't get me started. I've seen how you get with those martinis," Dorothy spat back.
"Yeah, remember, you ended up letting a little girl keep you hostage, all for having a 'few' before that meeting," said Quatre on top of Momo who could be heard clearly thanks to a hidden mic on the area Quatre was sitting on.
"She had people ready to kill me! What did you expect me to do? I had no one!" yelled Relena defensively.
"Yeah, but that's what you get for being too annoying for people to defend you," retorted Dorothy.
"This is not fair. Don't everyone shoot me all at once," huffed Relena as she crossed her arms.
"But it's true. You set yourself up for these kinds of things woman. I would've killed you, had I had the opportunity," said Wu Fei.
"Yeah, but great job you did. All you did was wear a skirt and suck Dekim's dick," snapped Relena.
The crowd laughed and Duo yelled, "That's two strikes against you Chang!"
"All right, all right, calm down dumplings, daddy's still here," said Atreyu with an amused look on his face from them doing their roast from where they sat, and thought that it would be best to interrupt and possibly wrap all of this up.
"Never the less, I hope that no one kills themselves, Trowa," snuck in the name in a pretend cough," and that everyone had fun from the politically incorrect to the quiet. Oh and Relena the proper word for dick is penis. Such crude comments from someone considering herself a lady," said Atreyu you mockingly as he shook his head with a "tisk tisk" as the crowd chuckled with him.
"I have to say that this has been fun guys and I'm glad every one also got to say something and that no one got hurt. So I hope now that the fans of the cast don't hunt me down along with the cast and kill me," said Atreyu as he could see various signs of all sorts of colors with all sorts of pairings floating amongst the crowd.
"I love all of you guys and was glad that I had the opportunity to do this!" said Atreyu as he fished out a little remote from his coat pocket with a big grin on his face.
The monitors switched from various faces of people attending the show, to those on the tables in front of the stage, and of the pilots to little chibi versions of everyone on stage dancing to some random and catchy song. The chibi cartoons were shaking their hips left and right and had their little hands up above their heads bouncing up and down.
The crowd laughed.
"Remember guys, it's not about the size of the ship, it's about the motion of the ocean!"
The crowd laughed, the pilots flushed, and Dorothy grinned.
The video on the monitors went black and began showing a slideshow of the pilots from the show and others of them doing various things, including silly hysterical ones, and had White Reflections playing in the background by Two-Mix ( /watchvRMSGHRFhOzc ).
As the video played, five people dressed up as the doctors who engineered the Gundams went up to their respective pilots and offered their hands out as escorts. Quatre's of course waited from him to come down off of Momo. Someone cosplaying as Heero took Relena's hand and Atreyu took Dorothy's.
"Come on guys, they won't bite. If anything I should be worried about that happening to me," said Atreyu as Dorothy took his hand with a graceful smile on her lips and pressed the heel of her stiletto onto his toe as she stood up. Atreyu winced but did his best to cover up the pain with a smiled and leaned in to whisper, "I like you."
Dorothy gave him a smug smile and walked off stage with Atreyu as the others followed suit towards the back off the stage.
The people who sat at the tables in front of the stage stood up and clapped as they walked to the back with various fan girls and boys yelling for random pairings, "I love yous," hoots and cat calls.
Backstage everyone was talking amongst themselves waiting for their limos to come and pick them up on the rear exit for guests.
"Now that was fun," said Duo as he pooped the top off of a Coke can.
"Yeah, it was interesting to say the least," said Quartre as he put down his cup of fruit punch.
"Hey guys, you're rides are here," said Atreyu as he was dusting cookie crumbs off from his coat.
Pegan stood outside Relena's limo holding the door open for her as she got in. Another driver had opened the door for the pilots to get in but Dorothy grabbed Quatre and Heero and threw them in her limo so quickly that not even they knew what was going on until she came back, opened the door, and threw Atreyu in and shut the door behind her.
The pilots and Atreyu looked at Dorothy as she opened a bottle of Grey Goose and began pouring some in a glass.
"Anyone thirsty?"
Heero, Quatre, and Atreyu looked at one another with an expression of "Oh shit…" on their faces.
Dorothy's limo was the first to take off as it passed the limo that Quatre had gotten for himself and the pilots, they could see Wu Fei and Trowa shaking their heads but they soon disappeared as Duo mooned them as they passed.
As they passed Relena's limo, the dome lights were still on and she could be seen slamming her fists on the window and yelling.
Dorothy smiled at that site and said, "Tonight will be an interesting night."
Atreyu, Heero, and Quatre all took a shot of the vodka after she said that as the limo continued to drive off into the night.