.:-:. means a new scene. Or something.

And italics are the past! Yayyy!

JESUS FUCK I AM RIDICULOUSLY LATE. This stupid stupid stupid thing has been pretty much done for like, a week, but I didn't feel like it was good or done or something and didn't post it and I am so sorry! Happy late holidays!

Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue. Neither does U will nvr know.

~•~

caroline version 1.2

god so many flashbacks, can I kill something now

The first time she remembered being awake was filled with yelling and screaming and a horrible consuming fear of what was causing the wailing. It bounced around her, it was all there was to hear in the otherwise empty darkness. She had to get out of the dark place. Out of the noise. There was no one around, nobody to stop her and the walls were weak enough to break if she tried hard enough. She slammed through them to the nearest place to hide, sending herself flying into a hazy dark room where she landed in a heap. It was safe here, she knew it was safe here, and she could sleep.. But she heard the calling of the broken echo in her head for a split second and the word latched itself into her mind. -"Allison!"- And then the world smashed into a thousand glittering pieces.

.:-:.

In the end, North did find out who the girl was.

He was running, running as fast as he could from him, the Meta. He knew he couldn't escape and his only chance was to disappear long enough to snipe him. Theta was trying his hardest to calculate how to get away, how to angle the shot from anywhere, really, but that was useless. North needed South, and they were separated – or so he thought.

"South. South, come in." North was panicking, but he forced himself to leave it out of his voice, for both South and Theta. "South."

"What?" South asked, and a strange feeling of double hearing hit North as he turned a corner.. and saw South.

"South, he's not far away. I can snipe him, but I need you to buy me some time to get into a position. Sync?"

"Sync." Theta pointed out that he had seen a good position around the bend. North ran for it – until he suddenly was hit in the back with a few shots, the intense pain and the fact that they hit his spine causing him to melt to the ground. "I'm sorry, North," South's voice crackled quietly from the radio. Theta began to go into hysterics, screaming about "He's not going to make it" and how there was no way out. But there was something else there, telling Theta to stop.

"Theta-" North started.

"THETA, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Carolina's voice hit him like a truck.

"What the hell is going on up there?" His voice was nothing in the commotion of everything, but they still heard him speak.

"PANIC?" Theta yelled.

"Theta, it doesn't.." Carolina's voice became too quiet to hear. "It doesn't matter anymore. He's going to die." Her voice was right next to his ear now, calm and quiet. South's footsteps thudded several yards away, on the opposite side. She couldn't see the girl on his shoulder, could she?

"Who are you? Why are you in my head?" he murmured. He felt dizzy, her presence like a knife stab to the head and the burning ache in his back gushing enough blood to kill him if he didn't get medical help soon.

"I'm Caroline – I don't have time to explain. They're here. We have to go. Time is up. Farewell." The girl abruptly cut out of his mind as a growl sounded above him. South screamed, too loud, too loud. Why hadn't she abandoned him? That was why she had shot him, right? To get away?

The last thing he heard was Theta crying "NORTH!" and a deadly crack before the world faded from red to black.

.:-:.

Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night, the loudest sound Theta crying or muttering incoherently with North quietly whispering to him. It was first about the Alpha, his creator, his father. Their father of sorts. Maybe not hers. The bits and pieces he did remember of being him were few and utterly useless. North would go pacing around the ship, trying to comfort or calm Theta down while talking to anyone that would listen – it was usually a tired York, similarly unable to sleep.

Once they were with the Meta, it was about North, his guardian, the one he had built himself around. He had been broken for a while after North had died. A sobbing mess. But the others had tried to fix him up, repair him. They couldn't, not really. But he could fake normal. They all did. She couldn't, though. Beta couldn't either. But she and Beta weren't broken like the others.

Theta was, during the final days before the EMP, unstable. They all were, except Caroline who had only felt an odd, building sense of dread, like the day of her escape from the broken screaming was coming, back from its shallow grave in ice. Beta whispered about finally realizing who the Alpha was. She wouldn't tell anyone, not Sigma, not Omega, nobody. She said she wouldn't let them take him if she could help it. But they said they would find him anyways.

On the day of the battle, the others were so loud, all of them. Excited but tired and worried and the power was dropping dangerously. Her mind was filled with panic, every thought saying leave. Caroline pulled Theta away, she needed to talk to him, needed to see what she could do. She would leave Beta to save the Alpha. Save their Alpha. Maybe not hers.

"Theta, we need to leave. Go somewhere. Anywhere but here."

"Aw, Liney, do I really have to? All the others are here.. And it-it's today. I can feel it. We all can."

"Theta. I.. You have to trust on me this, okay? Just.. Please come with me. We have to go."

"Can I tell the others we're going?"

"There's no time for goodbyes, Theta. And you shouldn't say those horrible things anyway. We have to go now. Before this all comes crashing down on us."

"Oka-" Carolina yanked Theta out before he could finish his sentence and into the closest jeep.

"I just hope we get out of here alive.." She and Theta fell asleep while the jeep lay idle, waiting for the Reds and Blues to make their escape.

.:-:.

Caroline was sitting with her knees up to her chest again, rocking back and forth as memories replayed themselves behind her blank eyes. "Uh, what the hell are you doing?" asked Epsilon as he watched her. "Hello?"

"She won't answer you," Theta replied slightly creepily.

"Theta? You're supposed to be with Tucker."

"He locked me out.."

"That's not possible. You're a AI in his armor. In his head."

"..Shut up."

"Why are you really here?"

"I was bored, Tucker was asleep."

"How can he sleep with you awake?"

"Maybe you did the transfer wrong."

"Probably. What the hell is wrong with her?"

"PTSD? I don't know, but if you talk to her while she's like this she never responds."

"Why the fuck would she have PTSD?"

"I. Don't. Know! Maybe the Director pulled something on her like he did the Alpha." In truth, Theta knew why she got like this. But Liney had asked him to keep her secrets, and he was trustworthy, goshdangit! He would keep her secrets! No way could he tell Eppy, he would just turn around and tell Lina.

.:-:.

The impact was earth-shatteringly loud and she could feel the flames crawling on the exoskeleton of the jeep. Her ears rang and she couldn't hear a thing outside of the bells in her head but she knew she was screaming, she knew he was screaming, she knew they were all screaming because the fire would burn out the car and leave them dead. The man who was talking and talking and talking was gone or maybe she couldn't hear him because she was deaf and Theta was deaf and the fire was burning burning burning and this was the end and it was all ov-

The fire was out. The suppression system had extinguished it. Theta was singing or something, she didn't know, she still couldn't hear much of anything. The ringing was dissipating a bit, and Theta's voice faded in and out of her ears, talking nonsense to himself. "Theta?" she said almost inaudibly. He at once covered his ears.

"Jeeezzz! Don't yell!" He at once began to giggle uncontrollably; telling even a small white lie like that when he was in one of his hyper smiley moods was impossible for him. Caroline smiled at him from under her lopsided helmet.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. How can I ever apologize?" She took a feather boa from nowhere and wrapped it around her neck, struggling to hold back a laugh. Her hearing came back almost all at once, disorienting her, but she shook it off.

"You could... Skateboard with me!" Theta made two skateboards and tossed one to her, which she caught gingerly.

"Thank you, kind sir." She threw away the boa and set the skateboard on the ground while Theta rolled around her. The consuming panic was forgotten.

.:-:.

She 'woke up' to Epsilon cautiously watching her from a spot a couple feet away and Theta fiddling on a small speck of light off to the side.

"Aaaannnd it's over." Dropping his little ball, Theta wrapped a red and blue feather boa around Caroline's neck.

"The hell is going on, Theta?" Epsilon asked, still bewildered.

"Things." His reply was short and clipped, unlike the Theta Epsilon remembered. This was one of his annoyed moods, where he was serious and biting and distant but oddly caring. She didn't like him like this.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"I don't trust you." Theta's words were sharp and took him by surprise, gutting him like a fish. "You can't keep a secret. Not from her."

"What?"

"You heard me. I can't trust you." With that, Theta left, Caroline just sitting there with the boa around her neck and Epsilon staring at his retreating form.

"What did he mean..?"

"He takes his aspect too seriously sometimes. Lets it dictate his entire self. At least it makes him a good secret keeper." Caroline stood up, and tossed the boa to Epsilon. "For you. If you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to him."

"..Uh. Thanks, I guess." Caroline walked out after Theta, leaving Epsilon alone to wonder what the hell was going on.

.:-:.

Theta could feel the rage burning him, blocking out most of his senses. Dimly he heard his voice saying, "I can't trust you." and felt himself walking away. No, he didn't want to walk away from them. Didn't want to leave Liney alone with Eppy. He didn't understand. Why was he walking away? Stop!

He barged out the door, unable to halt and turn around and apologize. He couldn't, couldn't do it, whatever was controlling him wouldn't let him. Liney had followed him out, but he didn't care. Was this how the people Mega took hold of felt? This helplessness, nobody should feel this. She was behind him now, her hand on his shoulder. "Theta. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," his voice growled. Inside, everything was wrong, it was all upside-down in his head. He still couldn't do anything. "I have to go." He felt the tug of Tucker waking up, felt himself disappear and here he was again, in Tucker's head. There was the annoying guy and some other similar looking people, the red dudes, the blue guys, a few ghosts, and some randoms who just attacked everyone. One in particular – Felix – kept running around and knifing people. They didn't die, but yelled "ow" at him instead. He made a note to avoid that one if at all possible. "I hate all of these people."

Theta looked for the nearest high ledge and climbed up onto it, hoping to escape everything for a while. It was all too crazy, the overtake, the nutso people, not being able to trust anyone but Liney, everything was just too much.

But the worst was that he didn't know why this was happening.

.:-:.

"Here he is. The only surviving copy of one of the Freelancer AIs. This one calls itself 'Delta'." The man from the Pelican set the phone-like device on the Chairman's desk. "I'll be taking my leave now, if you don't mind." He walked out the door, sliding shut behind him.

"F.I.L.S.S., confirm this is indeed an AI from Project Freelancer," the Chairman requested as he plugged the device in.

"Affirmative, Freelancer data banks confirm the existence of AI unit Delta."

"Very good."

Delta appeared on the desk, dazed. "Where am I?"

~•~

NOTES:

-who the fuck was screaming?

Wash. It was originally the Alpha but that didn't fit nearly as well as it should have.

And it still doesn't fit very well! Gahhh!

-the North+South vs Meta thing is wrong.

I hadn't seen Recovery One when I wrote that. And now that I have, I've decided that I like it anyways. It's gonna stay.

-YO WHY IS CAROLINE HAVING MAJOR FUCKING FLASHBACKS?

Cause I wanted her to. I'll think of a reason later. Yay for past.

As you can see, I am a terrible planner. Watch as this fic crashes and burns in later chapters.

-EXCESSIVE ANDS

I like the word and. Shush.

-What's up with the nicknames?

Weird partial Theta's POV while still trying to maintain third person. Nobody but Theta knows Caroline's real name.. So if it appears it's full third person? I am awful at explaining.

-What's with Beta/Tex/[other names here]?

I made her not a fragment. Kind of. I don't know.

-F.I.L.S.S. has the wrong name! It's really [alternative acronym]!

There are so many spellings for her name that I just chose one at random. Also: See Season 10 Episode 20.

-THIS WAS LATE

No shit, Sherlock.

-WHAT'S WRONG WITH THETA poor baby

[spoilers]

This is just awful and I'm sorry.