The Psycho Ward: SSBM Style!
Part 3.1415... Yeah…
Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM and all that crap so whatever…
Reviews:
Alright… you liked it… yeah yeah… good job…
You can all have 15 gold stars…
This is the end of the Foobar age… we shall miss it well…
What the crud can I say… well… REEL BIG FISH!…
What else…
NEWGROUNDS!… FOAMY!… that's it then…
(Gannondorf)
Oh… Why hello there… I'm Gannondorf!…
Some of you think I might be the most evil of all evil that ever lived… But that's just wrong!
I sit there minding my own business… ya know… ITS NOT EASY BEING A FRICKIN KING YA KNOW!
But NO! as I do my work… TWO LITTLE SHITS RUN UP AND START STEALING STUFF FROM ME!
Out of nowhere I get framed as a murderer… THEN the stupid king kicks me out… I'm Like WHAT THE HELL! DUDE!
So I try to come back in… the guards made it difficult so I was forced to burn them with the fires of a thousand evils… WHAT!…
The stupid king runs and out of nowhere I get blasted from some freak in a green tunic… ARG!… everyone just keeps cheering him on though… they're all like "YAY LINK YOU RULE!"
Yea… except for the fact that he's a frickin RAPIST!…
But NO! they just laugh and watch me get beaten the crud out of by some freak named Link…
So I sit there and try to run… BUT HE JUST KEEPS SLICING ME!…
In the end I get BANISHED… ARG!… why don't YOU try spending 100,000 years in everlasting whiteness… ARG!
I am SO pissed… But those two pieces of shit just keep ATTACKING!… did you know I get about 3 mailbox bombings a DAY… ARG!… they don't SHUT UP!
And then there's the effect it's had on the children!…
I was just walking down the street… MINDING MY OWN BUISINESS… when a little kid runs up to me and SHOOTS ME WITH A LIGHT ARROW!…
I sit there screaming trying to pull that shit out as he starts laughing…
"YAY I BEAT GANNONDORF!… I CAUSED HIM PAIN!…"
WELL DUH!… THERE'S A FRICKIN ARROW… IN MY LEG!…
But they always do that shit… and as the kid runs away in glee I was forced to slap him with a ball of evil and cause him to melt!…
But of course there are all the worried parents… OH NO!… IM A BAD INFLUENCE!…
What's a worse influence… SOMEONE WHO STABS ME WITH LIGHT ARROWS AND KILLS ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT MOVES… AND TORTURES COCCOOS!
Or someone who gets frickin abused the hell out of by two kids who seem as if they're on crack!
Then in SSBM mansion… I HATE THAT PLACE!
First thing: I have to fight that piece of shit Link…
Second thing: Everyone seems to think I'm about to steal Zelda…
Third thing: THEY PUT WEIGHTS IN MY CLOTHES IN ORDER TO STOP ME FROM JUMPING!… WHAT?… apparently I'd be cheap if it was physically possible to get back on the stage when knocked off!…
I sit there with no friends except some poser Mewtwo and Bowser… WHO I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO!
So all day in one ear goes little whines about being cool… and in the other ear I hear "ROAR! ROWR!"
Yeah… why don't you try to live with it…
Then there's Samus… yeah… never mind that her games are my favorite games… I PLAY THEM ALL THE TIME!… she still shoots me with a frickin charged up blast EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME!
I'm sorry… I seem to have gone a bit crazy over the fact that nobody loves me…
And I don't seem to like it when people break into my house…
WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT THAT!…
I was just playing my organ enjoying myself when the prick ran in and beat me down with a SWORD!… I don't care if it's the Master Sword or not… IT FRICKIN HURTS!
So now I live in the mansion of PRICKS… and I have a parole officer that will get me in trouble if I even think about anything wrong… AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I THINK… SO HE THINKS I THOUGHT SOMETHING WRONG AND JUST BEATS ME WITH A HOME-RUN BAT!
But I'll get over it… And some day maybe move away from this hell-hole named Smasherville… WHAT KIND OF GAY NAME IS SMASHERVILLE ANYWAY!…
Oh… but one last thing that REALLY confuses me…
How the hell is Link suddenly able to defeat what is considered to be the ultimate power just by gaining the tri-force of… COURAGE!… I mean… knowledge can make some sense… and Power… well duh… BUT COURAGE… that just doesn't make sense… its just MIND BOGGLING!
Why cant I just live a normal life without some elf boy charging unafraid into my bathroom and treating it like some sort of courageous adventure?
And it's not like my land is any better… I mean… Gurudos must have been FRICKIN MORONS!… in all of the world that there was to settle… they picked a desert where people die every day just trying to go through a daily life!… WHO PICKS A FRICKIN DESERT LIKE THAT TO SETTLE!…
I mean crud… I try to go through to my castle… and get lost in the never-ending sandstorm… and how the HELL does that sandstorm keep up like that!…
And another shitty thing…
I LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOTHING BUT GIRLS!… now one might think… "hey that's awesome!"
Well I have news for you… WHEN ONE GIRL FINDS SOMETHING OUT… AND GOSSIP FLYS EVERYWHERE!… AND THEY ALL WANT TO TELL YOU!… AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS TO DO ANYTHING WITH… AND THEY ARE ALWAYS WANTING ROMANCE! AND WHAT THE CRUD! You wont like being surrounded by girls upon girls all giggling and talking and NEVER SHUTING UP!… and if you tell them to leave they just start whining and crying… DRILLING RIGHT INTO YOUR BRAIN!
That's why I practically lived in Hyrule… to get away from those freaks… I DON'T CARE IF OUR RACE DIES!… I AM NOT GOING BACK THERE!
But still… little kids from around the world run to me and try to kill me by whacking me with Light stuff… IT HURTS!… its nothing but a huge crowd of freaks slapping me with stuff… I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!
But maybe I'll get over it… I doubt… I just have to live in fear forever!
(Gannondorf would continue on this rant… but is suddenly stabbed in the eye with a Light arrow as a crowd of kids run over him laughing)
YAY!
Well it seems that Gannondorf's view on life is slightly paranoid… Silly Gannondorf!
Lets see if we can get a happier cuter version of life with our next guest… PICHU!
So sit down… pretend you are somehow relaxed… and watch for more!
Well… I must admit that was far from the best work… I know you will like Pichu's more… I really do know you will like him WAY more…
Goodbye then…
R&RRR… Read and Rape Retarded Reindeer (oh deer)
Claymation doesn't like me… because my three partners are LAZY!… don't look out for it… just know that I will warn you when we start making them…