Chapter Two: Roxane When Worlds Collide
When Julia awakened me the following morning, I hurried to the chamber pot to vomit up food from the night before. "Are you well, Roxane?" she asked me as I retched and heaved into the pot.
"I will be fine," I replied as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "I believe the child within me did not agree with the grapes I ate last night." Julia smiled gently as she fetched me a glass of water so that I could rinse out of my mouth. I patted my abdomen soothingly as though I were trying to reassure the life within that all was well. No matter how much reassuring I did to calm myself there was no denying that I was still a stranger in a strange land. Even though I was married to Rome's emperor and the mother of the heir to the throne, she still considered me a foreigner. Unwanted and unwelcome by its politicians and referred to as Caesar's whore by the populace. No matter how many others have told me that Rome regarded me with its highest honor, the whispers of the people were louder than the words of friends. I gave up my freedom to spare my people a war with Rome…only to be greeted as a paid prostitute by the citizens of the Empire.
"Here you go," Julia said, breaking my train of thought as she handed me the glass of water. She went into the dressing room to find a suitable dress for me to wear. After I rinsed out my mouth, I walked out onto the veranda that overlooked the main courtyard. I greeted with the sight of seeing Commodus walking arm and arm with his new mistress, Marcia. Thought it was no secret that I did not care for her company nor her presence in the palace, I was always tolerant towards her. I must admit that it was difficult seeing my husband with her. Marcia was a dark-haired beauty with hazel eyes, soft skin, and pearly teeth. It was obvious that she was a flirt for she would wear dresses that would show off her full bosom, much to the like of Commodus. "How dare he flash her in your face in such a manner," Julia said, resting her hands upon my shoulders. "How can he disrespect the mother of his children by keeping company with a whore like that!"
"Because he can, Julia," I softly replied, watching as he and Marcia shared a laugh about something.
"That whore has been nothing but trouble since the first day Senator Cornelius brought her here. I get the feeling that she wants to replace you in everyway to Commodus. A woman like that ought to learn her place is with the filth in this world."
I looked over my shoulder at her then turned my attention back to the scene outside. "I didn't realize that you disliked her so much, Julia."
"The common whore had the nerve to tell me that I do not know how to serve a fine lady. And I have served you well for many years, have I not, Roxane?"
"Yes, you have served me very well," I replied before going back inside the palace.
Commodus was alone in the atrium by the time I was dressed and ready to show my face to the world. "You look beautiful, my lovely," he said when he saw me. I wore a Persian blue gown edged with gold ribbon with a matching thin veil over my hair, which was pulled back in a loose knot. He took my hand and kissed it then stood up and kissed my cheek. "And you smell lovely too."
"Jasmine imported from Egypt," I said to him. A wave of nausea came over me as he wrapped his arms about my waist but I managed to hold it back. "Will you accompany me to the Curia this morning?" he asked softly.
"You need me there?"
"Yes, Roxane, you have more of a mind for political discussions than I do. Besides, I just love to see the dumbfounded look in the faces of the senators when you outwit them." I smiled slightly at him.
"I suppose so. I will ask Julia to look after Marcus Antonius while I'm away."
"Mother," I heard a small voice say as I turned and came face to face with Marcia and my son. He ran up to me and wrapped his small arms tightly around my waist. "You look lovely, mother," he said as he buried his face in my abdomen. "You always look lovely."
"He was looking for you," Marcia said. "I told him that you were probably in here."
"Thank you for bringing him," I forced myself to say in a calm manner. She smiled at me as she stood there and watched us. As I watched her in return, I had the feeling that Commodus' life was not the only one that was in danger at the moment.
"Please excuse me, your Grace and your Highness," she said, "but I must take my leave." With that, she bowed before us before disappearing into the hall. I could tell that she was up to something, but what I had no idea.
"Mother, will you take me to the harbor today?" Marcus Antonius asked me, his green eyes pleading.
"Your mother has business to attend to first, my son," Commodus said to him. "However, if all is settled quickly then she will take you."
"Oh." I immediately felt sorry for him for I had promised him a fortnight ago that I would take him. Oh how I hated myself for disappointing him. I ran my fingers through his thick brown-black hair as he tightened his embrace as much his small arms would allow.
"I promised that I would take you and I will," I said gently to him. "However, another matter begs of my attention. But once I am done, I promise you and I will spend all day at the harbor."
"Really?"
"Yes, my love. Now be a good boy and go find Julia. Stay with her until your father and I return."
"Yes, mother." I then bent low so that he could kiss me on the cheek. He quickly planted a wet kiss on my cheek then ran off to find my chambermaid. My son was indeed my heart and soul and I could not imagine what my life would be without him. 'Empty, unfulfilled, and cold," the voice within me echoed. His energy and smile brought solace to me for the choice I had made. He made my life in this place more bearable. Could I rob him of his father? Would I be able to justify to him why I took his father's life without having him come to hate me? If I were to go along with this assassination plot, my actions would have severe consequences.
"Come, Roxane," Commodus said, bringing me back to reality. "We have much to do." I nodded as he took my arm and we walked out of the palace to a waiting carriage.
Marcia played with one of her dark curls as she waited for her guest to arrive at her apartment. Lavishly decorated with carpets, sheets made of silk covering her bed, and other expensive furnishings; she was quite pleased with how much Commodus was willing to give for her affections. She smiled with satisfaction when she thought of how much she was getting under Roxane's skin. Just to see the former Persian queen squirm was the highlight of Marcia's day. 'I wonder if Commodus is as generous with the Persian whore as he is with me?' she thought to herself. 'Roxane does not realize what a lofty position he holds her in….but soon he will hold me in just as high esteem.' A knock interrupted her train of thoughts as she went to answer the door; her guest had finally arrived. "Come inside," Marcia said to her guest. "When you told me that it was an urgent matter I made arrangements for us to meet alone."
"I see my brother provides well for you," Lucilla said as she looked around Marcia's chambers.
"Yes he does. It is a pity that his wife doesn't enjoy the lavish gifts that he gives her. Please, sit down." Lucilla sat on one end of a couch and Marcia sat on the other end. "So Lucilla, what is the urgent matter that you wanted to speak to me about?"
She eyed her brother's mistress suspiciously for a moment before finally speaking: "Your honest opinion of my brother."
Marcia laughed heartily as she said, "Your brother is a terrible emperor but a very capable and twisted lover. He spoils me; in fact, he has spent more nights in my bed than he does in Roxane's."
Lucilla rolled her eyes for the subject of Commodus' illicit affairs with his mistresses never interested her. She did pity Roxane in that respect for he paraded his mistresses before Roxane without consideration for her feelings. "Do you believe that he's a good emperor?"
"Heavens no, Lucilla. Nero and Caligula made better emperors than Commodus," she replied. A dog would make a better emperor than your brother. If only his prowlness in bed was exhibited in his political life. And that wife of his is of no help either."
"What do you mean?" Lucilla asked, keenly interested in what the emperor's mistress had to say.
"Well she is a former queen but she doesn't show any intelligence when it comes to politics here. I have heard many say that she's a highly intelligent and capable woman, however, I have yet to see any of that come out in Commodus."
"You must remember, Marcia, that she lives in fear of him."
"In fear of Commodus, ha! The woman is the in the most supreme position, she is the wife of the most powerful man in the world. Roxane fails to see that she has what every woman in the Empire wants. Surely if what everyone says is true, she would show what made her a very powerful queen in her homeland."
"Perhaps you are right and perhaps she's being smart and playing it safe around Commodus," said Lucilla.
"I say that we should get rid of both of them, Lucilla. The Persian bitch has more guards in Rome than Rome has in Persia."
"I will not have you speaking ill of Roxane, Marcia. She made a sacrifice that most of us would never dream of making, not even if it meant saving our own lives in the process."
"I never knew that you felt so strongly about her," Marcia sighed, picking at the rings on her fingers. "But she is only human. A poor, pitiful woman who doesn't speak up when needed."
"She speaks when it is necessary. It is because of her actions and the courage that she has shown that the people of Persia are alive and the lives of her family were spared."
The emperor's mistress once again sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well you most certainly know that she doesn't like me."
"She tolerates you. Like any other man with a mistress, she tolerates you only because she realizes that her husband will have his women and has to learn to live with it. I never understood why you think so little of her."
"Because she thinks little of me, Lucilla. I pleasure her husband under her nose; she knows this and despises me for it."
Lucilla sighed and massaged her throbbing temples. "I informed Roxane of our plan and you must get along with her should she decide to go along with us."
"You did what?" said Marcia as she got to her feet. "Lucilla, how could you tell that bitch of our plans?"
"First of all, you must remember they are my plans. Second, the Senators are for carrying out an assassination. And last, she has just as much of a reason to want Commodus dead as you and I do."
"What if she goes and tells him everything?"
Lucilla rose to her full height and looked Marcia deeply in the eyes. "She won't tell him a word. I have known Roxane for as long as I can remember and she would never breathe a secret to anyone, including Commodus."
"How do you know this?"
"Because of something that happened a very long time ago," Lucilla quietly said. "Only she and I know the truth no one else. She swore to me that she would never breathe a word to another living soul and to this day she has kept her word."
"I see. I still have my doubts that she is trustworthy."
"If you trust my judgment, Marcia, then you will trust Roxane," Lucilla said. "I must make a leave before we are discovered together. It is common knowledge that I never associate with my brother's women and for our well being we must keep up all appearances."
"Agreed," said Marcia. With those words, Lucilla left Marcia's private chambers and quickly made her way across the courtyard back to the palace. "Alone at last," Marcia said aloud to herself as she plopped back down upon the couch. A sly grin played across her full mouth as she thought of Lucilla and Commodus. From the first moment she met the two, she sensed that there was a silent rivalry and forbidden desires passing between them. "Soon we shall be free of one; soon we shall be free..."
Roxane
"First on the agenda is basic sanitation of the Greek quarter," Gracchus said as he addressed Commodus. "It is needed to combat the plague that is cropping up there." The emperor sat and spun the sword around in his hand, the tip of the weapon placed firmly on the floor. I sat nearby, seen but not heard. I had the feeling that this session was going to become very tense for Commodus and Senator Gracchus had never gotten along from the moment Commodus became the ruler of Rome.
"Ssh, can't you hear that?" he asked the Senator. "For so long the people have long been neglected by the politicians. My father spent all his time in study; spending his quiet time in study reading scrolls from the Senate and philosophy. All the while the people were being ignored."
"But we are the people," said Gracchus, "chosen from among the people to speak for the people."
"I don't believe the people eat as well as you do, Gracchus. Or have such splendid mistresses, Gaius." A chuckle from the other senators echoed throughout the Curia and a small grin played upon my lips for a moment but quickly faded once I realized that Commodus was watching me. "Do you not agree with me, Roxane?"
My eyes widen for the attention of the entire Senate was now upon me. "Rumors, your Highness. I have only heard those rumors from the mouth of a well-born drunk." The Senate erupted in laughter at my comment.
"Very well said, my dear wife," he replied. "However, how would you solve the city's problem with the plague?"
"I would take Gracchus' advice and sanitize the Greek quarter. It would cost the Empire much less to do that than to bury the plague's victims."
"Hmm…ever always the queen." I knew that he was mocking me and several senators knew it as well and did not say a word. I was used to the humiliation that he would sometimes put me through; he was not the perfect husband. He treated me well most of the time and was a good father to our son; however, from time to time he would humiliate me in public when it suited him, especially before the Senate. I then bowed my head slightly and said nothing more.
"I agree with her Majesty," Gaius said. "I would cost far less in the long run."
Commodus glared at me, which in turn caused me to look away. I knew that I would pay for this later when we were alone but I set my mind to work quickly on how I could avoid him. "Very well," the Emperor said. "Let it be done."