This is WWWWAAAAAAAAYYYYY too domestic. I might have some drama next chapter to even it out. This doesn't have a whole lot of one on one with Tony and Steve, it's a team interaction piece, mostly. I basically listened to Mushroom Hunting, Cats on Mars, the Egg and I, and Tank from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack.
I do not own any of the characters, just the ridiculously fluffy, domestic plotline they reside in for this one shot.
"Tony, the Fruity Puffs are for everyone. You have to share."
'No! You are staying in my tower, and I now demand you pay rent!'
"Stop being ridiculous! Besides, those are Clint's, not mine, and you need to share."
Tony stepped back from Steve, grabbed the box of cereal, and clutched it close to his chest. His face was very clear on what he thought about sharing.
'Come and take it.'
Steve sighed and rubbed his forehead, seriously considering doing just that. But if he did, then he would be falling to Tony's level of childishness. He already felt like half-way there just by arguing with him. That was when Clint and Natasha walked in, bags full of weapons slung over their shoulders hitting the ground next to the couch before they continued to the kitchen, where Steve and Tony were verbally sparring-not fighting-over the Fruity Puffs.
"How was your night?" Steve asked, smiling tightly.
"Boring. Hey Tony-no. Just no. Not the Fruity Puffs." Clint glowered, stepping towards Tony. Tony stepped back and glared.
'I claim them as mine. You cannot have them.' he half-signed, half expressed, placing the table between them.
"Tony, will you please just give them back?" Steve moaned, running a hand through his hair.
"Ohhhh no, Cap. You ain't getting any either. Those are mine." Clint quipped, leaping over the table in a graceful move and attempting to swipe the box from Tony. Tony rolled under the table and bolted for the elevator, almost running into Natasha along the way.
"Damn it, man! Give me my cereal!" Clint howled, leaping over the table again not quite so gracefully as last time and taking a few plates with him as he tried to get to the elevator before it closed. Tony stuck his tongue out as the doors shut before Clint could make it.
Not being daunted at all, Clint bolted to the freezer and yanked out...a crowbar.
"What...?" Steve started as Clint rushed past him and started trying to force the doors open.
"Clint, stop." Natasha sighed, shaking her head. "One, he doesn't have milk. Two, he doesn't even have the Fruity Puffs anymore. He has Cheerios." she added, holding up the box of Fruity Puffs. Clint abandoned his efforts in favor of pouring himself a bowl.
"Clint, why was there a crowbar in the freezer?" Steve asked, even though something told him he really didn't want to know.
"In case I needed to use it, obviously." Clint supplied through a mouthful of cereal.
Steve frowned, tilting his head to the side and feeling a headache coming on. That...had made absolutely no sense.
"He also has a Napalm Blowtorch behind the mirror in one of the guest bathrooms." Natasha offered, relaxing on top of the kitchen island and reading the newspaper.
Steve couldn't find anything to respond to that. Nothing at all. Instead, he opted for sighing and gathering what he needed to make waffles. Which was just as well, because the elevator dinged and Tony stalked out, Bruce trailing tiredly behind him.
'This is not my rent.' Tony signed after slamming the box of Cheerios on the table as though it was an insult to humankind. Then he pointed to the Fruity Puffs. 'That is.'
"Hah! Like you could evict me if you tried!" Clint crowed, grinning evilly.
Bruce shook his head and sat down across from Clint, picking up a slice of toast and buttering it.
"Steve, can I have some waffles too?" Bruce asked politely, at the same time watching the conversation between Tony and Clint wearily.
"No you wouldn't."
'I would. I will post all over the internet pictures of you in a ridiculous outfit consisting of mostly purple and a feather-infested bird mask.'
"I'll tell Fury you were the one who decided to graffiti his office wall."
'You wouldn't dare. I'll tell him you were the one who drew pictures of cats all over his mission reports.'
"Oh yeah? I'll tell Pepper you were the one who broke her favorite vase."
Tony let out a soundless gasp, placing his hand over his Arc Reactor. Then his eyes narrowed, and he nodded grudgingly.
'You win this time, Bird. You win this time.'
Clint shoved a huge helping of the cereal into his face as a reward to himself, Tony went to go sulk at Steve's shoulder, and Bruce buried his face in his hands in exasperation.
Mornings after Steve had found out that Tony wasn't ignoring him had been a bit more lively. It also turned out that Steve understood Tony-talk better than any of them (except Hulk), resulting in Tony usually being in the same area of the tower Steve was in.
"Bruce, do we have enough poptarts?" Natasha asked lazily from her position as she turned a page.
"I think so, yes." He hazard a guess, knowing they would probably still have to go out and buy some more in preparation for Thor's return.
"No, Tony, I'm not letting you put ice cream on your waffles." Steve sighed as Tony frowned.
'But I want...' Tony started, before looking at Steve's face and sighing, scuffing his foot on the floor. 'Fine...'
"Ki~nd of creepy." Clint muttered, taking another bite of his cereal. Bruce looked up and raised an eyebrow. "How well Steve understands him. A few weeks ago, they weren't in the same room for more than six minutes at a time. Now..." he trailed off, nodding towards where it looked as though Steve was having a conversation with himself, because Tony was only signing half of what he meant.
Bruce smiled, taking a bite of his toast.
"I think it's nice." He said mildly, raising an eyebrow at Clint.
"...Are you getting jealous, Clint?"
Clint choked on his next spoonful of cereal, spraying it everywhere.
"Hmmm..." Bruce muttered ambiguously, setting down his cereal splattered toast and using the clean side of a napkin to wipe down his face.
"No! God, no! Bruce, what the Hell?" Clint coughed hoarsely, drawing the attention of Tony and Steve. Natasha, as usual, had been paying attention to everyone in the kitchen, and was still reading the newspaper, and so didn't care.
"Just a guess." Bruce smiled, folding his hands neatly in his lap.
"The Hell it was!" Clint hissed, picking up another spoonful of cereal, only to notice it had chunks of already chewed cereal and spit in it. "I've ruined my cereal. Thanks."
'Poor Bird.' Tony signed as he sidled up beside Clint and leaned on his shoulder. 'Do I need to pay more attention to you?'
"No." Clint said, edging away from Tony as best he could while still remaining in the chair. "No, you really don't."
'J!' Tony signed, calling JARVIS' attention as he stopped leaning on Clint and walked towards the elevator, picking up the crowbar and tucking it under his arm along the way.
"Yes Sir?"
'Redecorate Bird's bedroom. Theme it after me.' Tony instructed as he stepped into the elevator and then started rapidly pushing the door close button with a manic smile on his face as Clint launched himself from the table.
"Of course, Sir." JARVIS said, sounding amused as the doors closed before Clint could get to Tony.
Clint attempted to grab the crowbar before remembering that Tony had it.
"Damn it! Tony, I swear, I will tell Pepper all about that damn vase-!" he started, only to be interrupted by Natasha.
"Clint, don't forget to clean up your mess."
"Natasha, what...?"
"The plates on the floor. Clean them up."
"But Tony-!"
"Clint, I would really appreciate it if you would clean up your mess." Bruce added in, making himself some more toast. Clint stared at them incredulously before hissing though his teeth and stalking over to the mess he had made earlier.
"Stupid Tony. Always stealing my things. Messing up my room. Stupid. Stupid Natasha. Making me clean."
Clint grumbled under his breath as he started picking up the plates and food-bits.
"What was that last bit?" Natasha asked as she went completely still.
"...Nothing."
Natasha turned another page.
"I thought so."