They were four days into their one month journey. Kirk signed off from his Captain's log and watched his crew work. Chekov was busily working calculations on their navigation and position. The programming was the same as the Enterprise, but the unfamiliar layout caused him to keep pressing the wrong buttons. He muttered something in Russian. Carissa was at her own station, not far away. She laughed.

"I didn't know you had such a mouth on you, Ensign."

Pavel looked up, his eyes wide with shock. "You speak my natiwe tongue?"

Carissa smiled at him and replied "Казалось бы, это так, не так ли?" [It would appear so, wouldn't it?]

Chekov blushed. "You will heff to forgiff me for my crudeness."

Carissa gave a small laugh again. "Don't sweat it. You should hear what Sulu says."

Sulu's head shot up from his station. He looked her over. "Nihongo o hanashimasu ka?" [you speak Japanese?]

"Watashi wa mottomo tashika ni yaru."[I most certainly do.]

Sulu looked at her for a few more seconds before breaking out in a grin. Uhura span around from her station to face Carissa. Her arms were crossed, her face was set in a cool indifference.

"tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'?" [Do you speak Klingon?]

Carissa looked at Uhura evenly. "HIja'. loQ vIjatlhlaH" [Yes, I speak a little.]

Uhura's eyes narrowed slightly. Her mouth was opening to say something else but a voice behind Kirk spoke. Jim jumped, not realizing that Spock had been behind him.

He spoke in Vulcan, rolling his tongue with the inflections of the language. The bridge was silent. Spock hardly ever spoke in his native language. Carissa looked up at him. She replied to him in the same tongue, her words hesitant and careful. Spock tilted his head ever so slightly. He spoke another sentence. Carissa nodded and gave a small smile and said one word. Spock inclined his head and left the bridge.

Everyone remained silent. Carissa turned back and began working. Everyone around her began following suit. Kirk sat in his chair, thinking about the exchange he had just witnessed. What had they said to each other?

Finally his curiosity got the better of him. But he didn't want to talk to Carissa. He got up, telling Sulu that control was his. He was going to put an end to this pointless silence.

Spock's voice was level and devoid of emotion as he gave Kirk permission to come in. Spock was laying in his bed, his long slender fingers steepled on his chest. He had been meditating.

Spock sat up as Jim walked into the room. If he was surprised at Kirk's presence, he did not show it.

"May I help you with something, Captain?"

"Yeah, you can cut all of this out."

Spock's face remained impassive. "You will have to be more specific, Captain."

"You know damned well what I'm talking about!" Kirk shouted. He stopped himself and forced himself to take a few breaths. "I know what I did, okay? And I hate myself for it. I know I'm going to be paying for my mistakes for years, maybe even the rest of my life. But please, don't make me pay-" He motioned to Spock "-like this."

Spock rose from his bed, clasping his hands behind his back.

"You mistake my intentions, Captain. The attitude I have exhibited has merely been for self preservation, not as a form of punishment, as you have assumed."

Kirk sputtered, not knowing how to respond. Spock waited patiently as Jim battled with his emotions. He finally looked up to meet Spock's cool, calculating gaze.

"Do you really feel that way? That being my friend...that being close to me will destroy you?"

Spock stared intently at Jim, his eyes never wavering. Kirk searched the deep brown depths of Spock's gaze, but couldn't find anything under the emotionless mask. Spock's answer came slowly.

"I believe a relationship such as ours is hazardous. It is only logical to remove myself from such a situation. I hope that you see that it is the only way to avoid any other such grievances, Captain."

Jim smiled bitterly. "Okay then. So you're gonna turn me away the moment I need you the most, is that it? Well that's fine, that's just fine."

He turned to leave the room.

"Jim."

Spock said it so quietly, he almost didn't hear it. Kirk didn't turn around, but he stopped.

Spock continued on, his voice low, almost soothing.

"Not all of the blame is on your conscious. I, as your first officer, did nothing to hinder your decision. Do not believe that you are the only one who was in error. And do not believe that you are the only one who suffers now."

Kirk gave a small laugh. "Yeah, you sure are suffering, right? Why don't you just call up that new recruit. She seems to help take your mind off of things."

"If you are referring to Ensign Carissa, you are correct. She has been instrumental in my mental health."

Kirk couldn't help but turn around to face Spock again.

"So you've replaced me? Just like that? And not even a second thought." He made a noise in the back of his throat, another laugh, though it sounded more like a choked sob.

"You are truly, truly unbelievable, Spock."

Spock stepped closer, his eyes shining fiercely with an emotion his face refused to show.

"I assure you that Ensign Carissa is not a substitute. As a person, you are irreplaceable. She is merely a second, more logical option. But do not think that she is any less than you. She is just as irreplaceable and precious to me."

Kirk didn't know how to respond to that. Spock's demeanor was still calm, but his eyes revealed the emotional turmoil that raged inside him. The tips of his pointed ears were a delicate shade of green.

This whole confrontation had drained Jim. His shoulders sagged slightly.

"Fine." He said simply, turning away again.

This time, Spock didn't stop him as he walked through the door. As it slid shut behind him, Jim felt that it was sliding shut on something that he would never get back.