Kiyoshi-pure: Hey, so I've been getting really annoyed with the lack of reviews. Is this because you simply don't think it's nessisary to show an author your support? I" get that, I've actually forgotten to review alot of stroies where I made it to the end of the first chapter or maybe a little farther but I didn't leave anything, and that's not right. So I'm going to make a pact with you guys, for every story I check out, I will make sure to leave a review with my critics and comments and thoughts before going to look for a new one. There are so many where I read the preview and the plot looks promicing but I can't stand the grammer so I go without leaving any tips about it. So whether you think my writing style sucks or you love the story and want me to update as soon as possible I want you to tell me.
I've been writing narrative stories since I was seven years old, that was almost eight years ago (yeah, I'm almost 15) and I've improved drasically (check my yahoo profile later for the details) and I'm no longer an ameture writer and I don't view myself that way at all. I've actually written my frist book, and I'm editing it, so I have a lot of respect for the writers who put a professional structure to their work and I hope you will do the same for me. If anyone new me before from all my earlier work, you'll see I'm a lot more mature with my writing, it's not something on the side with all the other fun things, it is my life's passion and I am very much in love with writing. So with that said, please enjoy all I have to offer in this chapter and those preceding it. Enjoy!
Marina sat on her bunk, freshly showered and dressed in pajamas, consisting of black flannel pajama bottoms with snowflakes ranging in different sizes and colors up and down the legs. The pants she was to wear to bed were completed with a black long-sleeved shirt with the white outline of a cartoon penguin on the chest. Her hair was pulled up into a loose bun, perfect for her quickly growing hair.
Anna walked through the door, also freshly showered, her wet golden blond locks turned a light brown with darker blond tones, pulled up into a hair-tie originating from the base of her neck. She was dressed in blue shorts and a white tank-top, quite used to sleeping in the cold. She climbed up the ladder to her bunk and sat down, pulling out New Moon with her. Marina smiled and settled down, her soft and warm green blanket wrapped tightly around the maturing frame and the black comforter draped over her. She closed her eyes, imagining what her first day in the new school would be like. She found her mind wondering every now and again, but to where she knew not.
Yumi and Aelita walked through the door, pulling Marina back from her light half-conscious sleep. Yumi had her long raven hair no longer in luscious loose curls, but pin straight from the warm shower pulled into a braided bun, she was dressed in a black tank-top and dark grey shorts, she settled on her bunk, just bellow Marina and wrapped the covers around herself. Aelita, however, had her burgundy hair resting naturally, all the way down to her back, almost a dark, yet warm, black from the wetness. She wore her familiar oversized light pink shirt with a dark pink "A" on it and white socks to keep her feet warm through the cool night.
"Goodnight" Aelita said to Marina.
"Goodnight?" Marina asked, uncertain.
"Yep, you got it right" Yumi assured her. Marina smiled to herself and buried herself into the cozy covers. The others quickly followed the suit, rather excited to see how the next day would play out.
Marina's mind switched through images of home, family, friends, before resting on one, a blond haired boy with swirling azure blue eyes.
"Hey Marina, how was sixth period?" the boy asked, looking deep into the green eyes of his best friend, a girl he had secretly liked for a few months now. Marina smiled, remembering the chaos that reeked havoc on the substitute.
"Funny" she said, a smile crossing her pale face. They walked, side by side, their direction unclear.
"Ms. Relks was okay, she must have been sober today" he joked.
"Weird, I miss that class" Marina said softly. She looked up the inch difference to her friend, the boy she had secretly liked, possibly loved, for over a year. She smiled when she was met with azure blue eyes. He smiled back, causing Marina's cheeks to flush a soft color of pink. They walked down the street, heading to Marina's house, like always.
"Marina?" Cody asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence between them. She looked up to him, she eyes dancing in curiosity. He bit back the fear, and opened his mouth. "I like you"
She eyes flashed with confusion. "I have for a few months, I really like you" he continued. Her eyes danced with joy.
"Me too" she said, smiling.
He leaned in, causing her to follow, his lips parted slightly, ready to take in the warmth they had wanted for weeks now. He could feel her warm breath, just before it caught in her throat, his following the suit. Their lips were merely a half inch apart when an excited cheer came from the house in front of them.
"Marina, the letter came!" Marina's mom called, running into the front yard. By the time she set eyes on the two, they were apart again, mentally cursing themselves for the interruption. Marina pondered over what could be so important, when the words struck her like a bat. The letter, the letter she had been waiting for, for weeks.
Her mother handed Marina the letter, not even open. Marina looked from the dark sapphire eyes of her mother, to those of Cody. They silently encouraged her to open the letter. She pulled out the letter, looking down the list of words. Her breath caught once again as she read that she had been accepted to take part in the foreign exchange program with France.
After that, neither of them brought up what had happened before the letter, waiting for the other to bring it up. The friendship had become slightly strained, and Marina only had a few days till she left.
She sat on the couch in the living room, reading a book her father had gotten her, when she heard a knock at the door. She got up and walked into the small foyer, opening the door to reveal her best friend. He stood there in his football jersey, looking down. He looked down, meeting dark green eyes. Marina smiled, counting the colors of dark blue in his lovely eyes.
"Hey" she greeted him.
"Hey, I kind of wanted to talk to you, about the kiss" he paused, pondering over something. "Almost kiss" he corrected. He looked at her, her eyes were filled with that same curiosity, dancing its way tauntingly. "When you go to France, promise you won't find some French guy, I really like you" He held her hands in his now.
Marina nodded. "I promise" she whispered. Cody made a crooked smile and leaned in slightly, Marina following the suit. Their lips parted slightly in anticipation, their eyes edging to close. Their noses grazed past each other as their lips slowly closed the distance.
"Marina, where's Dad?" Charlie called as he walked in from the back door. Marina jerked back in surprise and sighed.
"He's in the bedroom" she called.
The sound of a honk pierced through the air, causing Cody to glance behind himself.
"My dad's getting impatient, I have to be at the bus right not, we have a game in San Francisco" he said regrettably. Marina frowned.
"Don't go just yet" Marina said. Cody smiled, and leaned in once more.
"Marina, can you help me with the computer?" Charlie called from somewhere in the fair sized house.
"Never mind, go to your game, you'll see me goodbye at the airport, right?" she asked.
"No, I'm sorry" Cody said, biting his lip.
Marina tilted her head upward, her lips smiling as she prepared to take a kiss. A horn blared, causing her to jump backward, she sighed. "Never mind" she muttered. "Go, before your dad pops a vessel" she joked.
Cody smiled and nodded, turning to leave. Both thought about quickly stealing a kiss before they parted for however long, but both were hesitant.
A loud squeal of electronics shook the air, tearing the four young girls from their dreams. Marina rolled from her stomach to her back, pushing the brow length bangs and scattered, short, layers out of her face, pondering her dream. She never really had memories for dreams, but this bothered her. It cut her deeply.
Pushing the thought away, she struggled out of her covers, tangled in the two blankets. She edged closer to the dangerous edge, where the ground hung underneath. A few moments struggle and she found herself caught and tangled in her blankets as she fell to the cold ground. She landed with a soft thud, on her right side, leaning inward towards her stomach. Pushing herself up from the ground, she stood up and picked up her tangled covers, dumping them messily on her bunk. She walked over to the closet she shared with Yumi and pulled out a denim skirt that fell at her ankles and a white blouse with a collar lined with lace. She put them on and released her hair from it's now messy bun, letting it fall in thick waves, framing her heart shaped face.
Anna made up her bed perfectly and pulled out the outfit she had chosen the night before, a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark blue sweater that made her stormy blue eyes sparkle with beauty.
Yumi made up her bed, Japanese style, and put on a pair of black skinny jeans with a dark grey sweater that delicately graced over her pale collarbones. She pulled out her hair-tie, releasing the hair that now hung in luscious curls. She rang her fingers through them carefully, positioning them with care, so that they barely passed her shoulders.
Aelita had her bed made quickly and looked through the closet she shared with Anna for a outfit suitable for her first day. She pulled out a pair of dark straight-leg pants and a dark pink blouse before pulling out her dark purple sweatshirt and putting it on.
Each girl fixed her makeup, each simple, Anna with some eyeliner and mascara, with a bit of gloss, Marina had thicker eyeliner, but a similar combination to Anna. Yumi put on a rosy blush, sweeping it across her lovely cheekbones, leaving a glorious effect, finished of by a coat of mascara on her top lashes and a soft pink gloss. Aelita swept the pink blush up her soft and gentle cheekbones and added a coat of clear gloss, looking gorgeous. They were finished at about the same time and picked up their bags before walking out their dorm to the cafeteria.
The cafeteria itself was bustling with students chatting about their summer adventures and showing off their new looks. Friends reacquainted and joked, couples kissed and embraced each other, and enemies starred the other down behind their backs. Marina found that this was very much like the school she had attended, an 7th through 9th grade school.
The four sat down with freshly filled plates and began to discuss subjects of importance amongst themselves, mostly of the new courses and electives. Marina was only been given one elective, due to the double-hour of French, so she had chosen Chorus, another way to pick up on the French quickly. Anna and Aelita shared that class with her, along with almost every other, Aelita was in an Honors French class while Anna was in a regular class.
"Hi" A low voice called from behind. Aelita and Yumi knew its source and didn't bother tearing from thick conversation, Anna was stuffing her face with food and had not caught onto the greeting, but Marina looked behind to see Ulrich standing behind her. She smiled and motioned for him to sit, saying so.
Ulrich took a seat between Yumi and Marina, jabbing his fork into his eggs. Odd sat down next, saying a simple greeting of "hey" before shoveling his face full of food. Jeremy took up a spot beside Aelita and kissed her cheek in greeting, causing the burgundy haired girl to blush a slight scarlet through the light make-up.
"You look beautiful" Jeremy told her.
"thank you" Aelita said, smiling and blushing. Marina watched everyone, trying to pick up on the words.
Yumi ate her pancakes thoughtfully when a new presence made itself known to her. William sat down and greeted everyone before smiling at Yumi.
"So Yumi, which class are you looking forward to?" he asked sincerely.
"Art" Yumi replied. William smiled, looking into her dark chocolate eyes, finding himself slightly lost, like always.
Marina stole a glance out the window, watching as the wind played with the fallen leaves. She remembered the swirling dance with the day before and smiled, wondering if every day was this perfect, cool weather, a soft breeze, a nice cloud-filled sky. Not like in California, where the smog dominated the air, the sun beat down brutally, and the skies rarely stayed like this all day, light and cloud-filled, a simple perfection. She was torn from her mental ramblings when a hand shook her. She looked and saw Anna, motioning that most of the students had left now, to find their first class. Marina picked up her now empty tray, though she hadn't eaten that much, she had probably received some help, and threw it away before walking out, looking for any indication where to go.
The classrooms filled up quick for the first class of the day, French. Marina sat in one of the available desks, the seat beside her empty. Anna sat down next to Odd in the back, and of course, Aelita and Jeremy were in the honors version. Marina sat there, waiting for the chair to fill. The class was nearly empty and everyone was sitting with someone familiar, from the previous years. At the last minute, Ulrich stepped in and looked for a good seat. There were a few open, but he chose to sit next to Marina, she was already a friend to everyone, he wanted to know her better. Marina smiled kindly to him as the teacher walked in.
She was a tall, lean women with thick black hair and beady black eyes, her cheek bones were set up high and her eyebrows were perfectly plucked. Her make-up was so perfect some thought it was natural, her hair hung straight, just to her waist in a thick braid. She was dressed fashionably, a dark grey pencil skirt with a trendy belt and complimented by a cerulean blouse.
She turned to the board, the clicking of heels made known though not seen, and picked up a perfect, new, thin piece of chalk and wrote her name in perfect print. "Ms. Shay" she wrote, before turning to the class, looking at each and every student. She smiled, though it had an edge to it the unnerved some, and picked up a stack of papers.
"My name is Ms. Shay, I will be your French teacher for the year. We have a few students this year from America, please be welcoming and courteous, some of them don't know French." She said.
"Welcome, my name is Ms. Shay, I will be your French teacher, I am happy to help you with some of your homework" she said in English. Those who were unfamiliar with French were relieved to know she also spoke English, which was just Marina.
She went over the roll call, though Marina and Anna found that they were the only ones in the class that were exchange students, and began to go through the syllabus. At the end of the class, everyone but Marina left, she remained in her seat, waiting for the next hour of her double period to start. A couple of kids from varying grades walked in, sitting down. The class wasn't much different, and Marina found herself relieved that the break period had come.
She walked out of the building and walked to the nearby snack lines and picked up a cold, wet, green apple. She held it in her hand for a moment as she walked before bringing it to her mouth. She opened her jaw and brought her teeth down on the cold fruit. Her teeth broke through the thin, colorful skin and the moist juices slurred into her mouth, a sour, yet sweet, taste provoking her to take another bite. She continued eating the apple as she walked to her next class, Algebra.
She sat outside the door, her knees pulled into her chest, an old habit of hers. Anna, Ulrich, and Odd approached her, smiling.
"How was it?" Odd asked her.
"Good" Marina said. The three took a seat beside her and took out the snacks they had gotten. Odd munched on a chocolate chip muffin, Ulrich ate his bag of pretzels and Anna nibbled on her cookie. Marina smiled in the comfortable silence.
"Are you any good at math?" Odd asked the two.
"Nope" Anna said, popping the 'p'.
"Yeah" Marina said nonchalantly. She starred off into space, her mind adrift.
Marina felt a light presence on her arm, turning her attention she saw Ulrich lightly shaken her for her attention. She noticed the index finger of his right hand pointed up and behind her where the open door to the classroom stood. She looked back into pools of warm chocolate, and smiled.
"Class" Ulrich told her. Marina nodded, understanding this time.
She stood up, picking up her messenger school bag with her as she walked into the warm classroom. She picked a seat in between Anna and Odd. Ulrich took the seat in front of her and settled into conversation with Odd as Anna helped Marina with her French worksheet.
"So, what do you think the new year will be like?" Ulrich asked.
"By the looks of Marina's homework, brutal" Odd confessed.
"I hope not, my dad was half-tempted to home school me" Ulrich muttered, internally shuddering in response to the concept.
"How do you like the new kids?" Odd asked, whispering a continuation with "I'm glad we don't have Xana on our hands, we don't have to worry about them finding out"
"Yeah, Anna and Marina are pretty cool" Ulrich responded. He looked at the two girls, Marina was biting her bottom lip as she worked over the vocabulary and Anna was smiling as she corrected Marina's latest, and rather silly, mistake.
"Hey Ulrich, how was your summer?" Sissi asked as she glided in the room with grace.
She was dawned in a thick pink sweater that flaunted her evident curves, and a pair of skinny jeans that were possibly two sizes too tight. Her hair was adorned with a hair-tie that pulled in her hair to the base of her neck. Her make-up was done in a complicated manner that made her cold icy blue eyes pop from her fair, yet tanned, skin. Ulrich paid little attention, though a boy in the back looked at her with hungry eyes of a hormonal teenager.
"It was good, how was yours?" Ulrich responded, ringing in all the politeness he could manage.
"Hmm… well I went horseback riding, it was rather fun, oh, and I practiced for the cheer squad, and I'm taking up a sowing class" she rambled. Ulrich tried to pay attention but found his attention drafted to Odd, Marina and Anna as they laughed to themselves. "… oh, and you won't believe this, but I did a little modeling over the summer, for a magazine!"
"That's great Sissi" Ulrich said sincerely, yet still nonchalantly.
"I know, I'm so excited, it comes out next week!" she said, clapping her hands in glee.
"Okay, settle down, this isn't recess!" A rather shrill voice echoed. Ulrich's spine was overcome in shivers as he recognized the voice. He turned his head to see Mrs. Hertz standing in the front of the classroom, looking the same as she did everyday he had her class. A blue denim skirt and a sweater of some limited variety, her silver hair was curly, but this time cut a couple inches shorter.
"You have got to be kidding me" he found himself muttering. He cursed with every word he knew, even a few in English, catching Marina's attention briefly before she rolled her eyes, cussing was not something she enjoyed doing or listening to.
"You may know me from Kadic Academy, well, I as well as another teacher were transferred over here, I will be teacher the ninth grade Biology classes and this math class. So, I have a syllabus, Elizabeth, will you please pass this out?" she asked.
"Sissi!" the dark haired girl muttered angrily under her breath. She took the stack of white papers from the frail and brittle hands of the aging woman and distributed one to each student, smiling at Ulrich as she past him.
Ms. Hertz began to envelop herself in her lecture of class expectations, what subjects they would be covering, and so forth. Many teenagers had by now pulled out a pencil, or maybe a pen, and a paper or notebook of some form, drawing doodles that scrawled across their page. Some had looked at the board, trying to pay attention, but found themselves lost in thoughts miles away, their eyes distant and glazed. A few students remained as they paid close attention to the talking woman, but Ulrich wasn't really in any of these groups, he was actually focusing on a soft melody that had somehow found its way in his head, one of light and slow sounds, in soft fluid movements.
"Mr. Stern, are you paying attention?" Ms. Hertz scolded.
"Y-yes" he stuttered, shocked for a moment. The elderly woman glared at the brunette boy for a moment or two before turning back to the board. Ulrich blushed a mild shade of pink before mentally turning back to the melody, finding nothing remaining. He gave up and counted minutes to the next class.
The shrill cries and whines of the bell pierced the air and students gathered their things, scattering out and away from their possibly mad Algebra teacher. Odd, Ulrich, and Anna went up the hall behind Ms. Hertz to their Biology class while Marina ran off to her Physics Honors class with Aelita and Jeremy.
"Hey Marina" Jeremy said as she sat down at the three person table in the back, center row. A plump middle aged man in a tie-dye lab coat walked in and bowed.
"Hello, I'll be Mr. Bents, your new Physics Honors class" he introduced himself. "Can I get a volunteer to pass out these white cards?"
"I'll do it" Aelita offered.
"Thank you, what's your name?" Mr. Bent asked.
"Aelita" she said in a soft tone.
"Well thank you Aelita" he said.
Marina slid a note to Jeremy.
"What's happening?" he read.
"I think we're going to write our names on the cards" Jeremy wrote back.
Marina nodded her head and watched her new teacher attentively. He talked at a fast speed, but she'd already learned sp much she could get the jist of what he said. When the class was over, they had creatively wrote their names on cards, gone over the syllabus, and passed out books. Marina planned to see Mr. Bent after class and explain to him her situation, but from what she could tell, he was a fun guy, and got along well with students.
The bell ran and Marina walked up to Mr. Bent as he was pulling out a new stack of name cards for his next class. Aelita had stayed behind in case she needed translating.
"Mr. Bent?" Marina said in a sheepish voice.
He looked up. "Marina, right?" she nodded. "What can I do for you?"
"Um, I… don't speak French… well" she said with her American accent portraying her concern.
"You're one of the exchange students?" he asked. She nodded. "Well that's weird; they didn't leave any notes of it on the roll sheet"
"Well" he reached into his desk and pulled out a lavender syllabus and handed it to Marina, the words in perfect English. "I'll make sure to have an extra copy in English"
"Thank you" she said. She turned and walked with Aelita to their P.E. class and met up with Odd, Ulrich, and Anna.
"Okay, so, I think the gym is that way" Anna said, pointing over to the eastern section of the campus where the gym did indeed rest.
"Sounds about right, hey Ulrich, do you have Gym next?" Odd asked.
Ulrich nodded, stealing a glance at the map.
"Okay, it's in the eastern section, near the forest entrance" Anna told him, pointing to the direction they were heading.
Marina followed half-mindedly as she searched through possible scenarios of how bad this class could be. Her mind was rather creative, she had pictured running from lions, lifting cars to save classmates, being chased by cheetahs, at one point she had wondered if the teacher set up contest involving students to fight to the death.
"Marina, are you still with us?" Odd asked, waving his hand in her face. Marina's eyes fluttered for a moment before she looked at Odd, brow cocked and a smile pulling on the corners of her lips, which she struggled to keep still.
"Depends, can I be a zombie and still be with you?" she asked, sarcasm dancing in thickly.
"Possibly" Odd said, remembering the rather interesting night, well, what little he remembered of it. As result, he crashed into a rather familiar person, Jeremy, who was already dressed in baggy dark brown shorts and a dark blue T-shirt. Jeremy looked down the minor three inches to his friend, whose hair was high enough to surpass him somehow.
"Hey, anyone know who this new gym teacher is?" Jeremy asked. Ulrich shrugged, Odd shook his head and Anna thought it over carefully before giving a popped 'p' "nope", Marina however struggled for the proper words, shrugging a response.
Jeremy waved off the notion before walking off, leaving the others to part and dress for the class themselves. Marina came out in a purple sweater that fit well and a pair black shorts. Anna was dressed in a blue tank-top and white shorts, Aelita in similar garb, but with a pink tank-top. They walked out and met up with Ulrich and Odd, who were dressed similarly to Jeremy, but Ulrich was sporting green and brown and Odd consisted of several shades of purple. Anna smiled at Odd, never before had she seen someone who loved the color purple so much, at least, not a guy.
"Ready?" Jeremy asked.
"No" Marina muttered, understanding that much.
"Wonder what they'll make us do" Aelita pondered with Marina.
"Run away from cheetahs, maybe lions if they're nice, maybe have us lift a few cars" Marina said, seeming actually serious. "But those are just theories"
The group laughed, even Ulrich, after Aelita translated of course. They walked into the Gym when Marina bumped into a large lump of a human. She looked up to see a man in his mid-thirties to early forties in a red jogging suit and a head band around his forehead. She took notice to the band-aid, but have the eerie feeling that wasn't from an accident.
"Hello, what's your name?" he asked her in French.
"Um… I… don't speak French" she struggled for words.
"German, Italian, Polish?" he waited patiently for her answer.
"English" Odd piped in. "She's one of the American transfer students"
"Interesting, don't make a habit of shenanigans" He told her. She looked to her friends in hopes for translation.
"He's a big nutball" Aelita told her. Marina smirked and walked on with her friends to sit.
Okay, so oddly my school district gives students the entire week the presidents days falls on off, presidents week (not that I'm complaining. So I had a big issue, while editing I somehow managed to make EVERYTHING italisised, so if something like Marina saying a complicated sentence in French happens, she's really saying that in English it's just the edit issue being a punk. Same goes with Ulrich in the French/English ordeal, but I think I got it all.
Okay, leave me a review!
Reviewing-
Question one- on a scale of 1-10 (one obviously being the lowest and ten the highest) how does this chapter rate?
2- What is your favorite part?
3- Anyone want to be a part of Sissi's 'click' I need four girls. Sorry guys, but if you want to be one, send me your girl name and what you'd look like and how'd you act, keep in mind I might change it a lot.
4- tell me a funny story, I like that kind of thing, and funny experiences is something I like to add to characters
5- nope, I think that's it, say something funny please! if you do it Odd style, you will get an honorable mention in the next chapter
Review
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