Author's Note: Ah ha ha! The terror continues!
Chapter Three: Night of the Living Distractions
Disclaimer: I pretty much don't own anything mentioned in the story.
The Prince huffed, and he puffed. Smoke poured from his ears as his face turned a purply shade of enraged red. He snarled and his eyebrows narrowed dangerously inwards, then he let out a yell of pure hatred and - in a burst of bright light and energy - which effectively knocked down several students and almost blew the house down, he turned Super Saiyan, making his Toad hat fly from his head.
Hercule had been distracted from his self-promotion during Vegeta's scream, and when he glanced over to see who could possibly want to draw the Champ away from his fans, he froze and paled beyond belief.
Vegeta began to gather immense amounts of ki, preparing for a blast to end all blasts (and all buffoons), and just as he prepared to throw it at his twin, Hercule closed his eyes and let out a scream like a little girl.
BUT –
The blast never came. Hercule could have sworn he felt something hot rush too close over his head for comfort, but he soon forgot about it due to the overpowering happiness he felt about being alive. He cracked an eye open and glanced around to see what had happened:
The cute little lady in the Iron Chef outfit had made a home-run swing at Vegeta's face with her frying pan just has he released the blast, causing his aim to skew. The prince of all Saiyans teetered for a moment, wondering himself what had happened.
Hercule did not seem to register that he had been saved, and only noticed that his opponent was dazed, and he was not. He grinned madly and gave a peace sign.
"Victory is mine!"
Upon hearing these words, the prince woke from his stupor and growled. He raised his arm for another blast, but he was once again interrupted. This time by that blasted mate of his.
"Don't. You. Dare." She said in a dangerously low tone. Vegeta's blood began to boil.
He angrily clenched his fists at his sides and stalked back towards the Capsule Corp residency dome. As soon as he reached the porch, however, he turned around and blasted Hercule directly in the chest. He didn't kill him – just knocked him out. After all, he didn't want to lose certain…privileges…with the woman.
"Brat," he spat at Gohan, ignoring the horrified looks of all the high school students. "Meet me in the GR later. I need a spar."
He then entered the building and slammed the door shut, causing it to fall off its hinges a moment later.
"Gohan! What the hell just happened?!?!" Videl suddenly shrieked, causing everyone to come out of shock.
Gohan could only sputter incoherently as Videl gave him a death look that very nearly equaled Vegeta's, while the rest of the high school students ran around hysterically wailing about Hercule.
"Calm down, everyone," Bulma managed to gain everyone's attention despite the panic that was wracking them. "Hercule is fine – he's just not very conscious at the moment."
The entire student population let out a unanimous sigh of relief, and Bulma motioned to the Champ's limo driver who was still parked outside the gate.
Gohan, meanwhile, fled Videl's glare momentarily to help load Hercule onto his limo.
Videl growled. What the hell was wrong with this place?! Capsule Corp was supposed to be this prestigious, elite scientific center, and all that had been occurring here so far was beyond insane. There were pokemon running around, perverts, walk-offs, people with major anger management issues, and worst of all, Gohan – the nerd Gohan – had a cute butt in that outfit he was wearing!
Gaahhh!!!
Videl hit herself on the head. I'm just going a little bit crazy. Just a little. Nothing to be concerned about. It will wear off. Breathe, Videl. Breathe…
As Videl narrowly avoided hyperventilation, Erasa had wandered over to strike up some conversation with her idol, Bulma Briefs. Bulma, of course, had taken an immediate liking to the bubbly blonde, and introduced her to Chichi the Ox Princess, her close friend.
Erasa's brain turned a single wheel. She had heard that name before. It was, like, so familiar. Aha! Videl had mentioned that name before! She excused herself to go find her best friend, promising to be back in just a moment.
"Videl!" Erasa called out, causing the black-haired girl to be removed from her thoughts. "Videl there's someone you need to meet!"
Videl nodded vaguely and let Erasa lead her back to the two older women.
"Videl, as you know, this is Bulma Briefs," Erasa said, motioning to the scientist. "But you'll never guess who this is!"
Videl stared hard at the woman in the chef garb, who seemed a little too over-eager to meet her. Probably had to do with her father. Maybe that's why she hit that crazy guy with the frying pan. Come to think of it though, she did look slightly familiar…
"Videl, this is Chichi the Ox Princess!"
WHAT.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you dear," Chichi said with stars in her eyes. "My baby has mentioned so much about you!"
Videl didn't comprehend any of what Chichi had just said, since she was again thrown into a sudden state of shock.
"Chichi the Ox Princess…wow! You were a Budokai quarter-finalist, and the only woman to make it that far in the tournament ever! I'm your biggest fan!"
"Oh, how flattering!" Chichi put a modest hand on her heart. "They really will make the cutest couple!"
"Huh?" Videl had heard that comment, and she was quite confused to say the least.
"Why, you and my baby boy! Now, where did he go…oh, there he is!"
Videl turned to where she was pointing, and her eyes went wide.
"Gohan! Sweetie, over here!"
Gohan was completely oblivious to what had been going on, and he came over with a cheerful smile on his face.
"Did you need something Mom? I see you've met Videl."
"I just wanted to tell you how much I approve of your future wife!"
The smile instantly vanished from Gohan's face.
"Mom! I have no idea what you are talking about!" he was waving his arms frantically as his face started to resemble a tomato. He turned to Videl.
"Videl, I am so sorry. I have no idea what put that idea in her head! In case you didn't notice, she's a little…"
He twirled his finger at the side of his head on the side not facing his mother. Videl glared at him.
He turned back to his mother.
"Mom, would you mind if I talked to Videl alone for a second? I think she's going to kill me soon if I don't explain some things to her."
"Oh! How precious! My baby's going to propose!" Chichi had hearts in her eyes as she pulled Bulma and Erasa away with her. "It's about time I got some grandchildren!"
Videl crossed her arms and tapped her foot as Gohan turned back to her, a look of utter fear etched across his face.
"Explain. Now."
Meanwhile, in another part of the garden, three pokemon were sneaking around as subtly as they could manage, which really wasn't that subtle, but their target was really stupid so it didn't matter.
"There he is," Trunks motioned to a mopey figure a short distance away. "Good, he's all alone."
Trunks turned back to his partners in crime.
"So here's the plan. Marron, you keep guard. Make sure no one is around, and if someone comes, make them go away. Goten, you distract him. Get him to focus all his attention on you. While you two are fulfilling your duties, I'll…Goten, is something funny?"
The seven-year old giggled. "Hehe. You said doody."
Trunks rolled his eyes and continued.
"I'll spray his hair with this." He pulled out perfume bottle.
"That's just perfume," Marron looked disappointed. "My mommy wears that all the time."
"Nuh-uh Marron," Trunks stuck his tongue out. "This isn't perfume. It's just in the container because I was going to put it on my mom's dresser tonight, but I've thought of a better use for it now. This is a vile liquid I found in one of the labs. My friends, this spray smells like farts."
The pokemon all laughed evilly, and set to work on the plan.
"I guess it isn't easy being really, really, ridiculously good-looking," Sharpener was mumbling to himself as he wandered around the deserted area by himself. "I would have thought my chiseled abs and stunning features alone would have been enough to win over Videl, but I can see I'll have to work harder."
Sharpener looked up slowly to see a young pokemon approaching him. He glared. He hated that show because it made him feel stupid when he couldn't understand what the pokemon were saying but that guy Ash could.
The pokemon stood directly in front of him and pulled out a piece of paper.
"Mister, I'm supposed to read this to you to distract you."
Sharpener raised an eyebrow, but decided to let him finish.
The boy cleared his throat.
"Dear Sir. My name is Pikachu. My mom said I'm not allowed to tell strangers my real name. I like candy and eating and playing and eating more. But I don't like you. My really cool friend Trunks is really fast and awesome, so I es…esti…estimate this is as much time as I need to keep you busy. From the Pokemon League."
Goten looked up and sniffed the air.
"Huh, I guess it was enough time," he mused before running off.
Sharpener was very confused by this and he started sniffing the air too. Then, it hit him. Oh, what an odor! What a stench it was! Where was it coming from??
He began turning around in circles, looking for the source of the stink. It was god-awful!
Then it him – it was coming from him! A look of horror swept across his chiseled features, and he grabbed his precious locks and inhaled deeply.
The choking and coughing that ensued killed him.
I mean, uh, almost killed him. (Goshdarnit, I was so close!)
Sharpener began to wail in agony, since his beautiful, glistening hair was now reduced to blond locks of farts. The horror! The shame!
As he was making this scene, the other attendees started to look over in his direction, wondering what could possibly be wrong with the guy.
"Gohan Son," he shouted, shaking his fist menacingly in the air. "This means WAR!"
Why he blamed Gohan and not the Pokemon League is still a mystery to me.
Meanwhile, in Satan City, a certain world champion slowly opened his eyes.
Dun dun duuunnnn….
A/N: Thank you for reading my drunken post. On the next exciting episode of A Halloween Party at Capsule Corp, Sharpener and Gohan battle again. Will this be better than the walk-off? (Yes, duh.) Will Gohan explain things to Videl? Will Vegeta show his face ever again? What will Hercule do now? And, will there ever be a winner to the costume contest???